So this originally started off as a random monologue I came up with, but I tweaked it so it would correspond with Quinn. Honestly, I was unhappy with the way the writers dealt with her in Season 2. There was so much potential, and it was totally wasted. I don't think Quinn is just a crazy Prom Queen obsessed bi**h. I think she puts up a wall so that she doesn't have to deal with difficult things. Anyway, Read and Review please! Also, for anyone reading 'Life Unexpected,' sorry I haven't updated in a while! I will soon!
I didn't take "the easy way out." Do you know what it's like? To give up your child? To say to someone, "Here, you take her. Take my child, my baby that I created, my flesh and blood. You get raise her. You get to teach her how to walk and talk and spell her name. You get to take her to her first day of preschool, watch her cry for you. Her mommy. You get to be called mommy. By my baby. You do that. You get to be there when she comes home from her first date, gets her first kiss. You get to stand there on her wedding day and say, 'Yes, I give this woman to this man.' You get to be grandma and grandpa. Here, you take her. You get her forever." I carried her for nine months. Loved her. I held her for 48 hours. 48 hours, I held my baby. Then she wasn't mine anymore, like the last nine months didn't count. Oops, this gift isn't for you. Please return it.
You know what, though? I'm proud of my decision. Because I couldn't give her what she deserves. But I wanted her. I wanted her so badly it hurt. I physically ached for my daughter. You don't know what it's like to have something so beautiful and perfect and yours be ripped away forever. Right out of my arms. They might as well have just torn my heart right out of my body, because that would have been less painful. My God, I wanted her more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. I wanted to wake up every day and see her tiny, pink face swathed in pink blankets, her huge, blue eyes staring up at me. I wanted to hold her and touch her and know that she was going to stay.
But I couldn't do any of that. She needs so much more than what I can give her. Because I'm just some vain, insecure, sixteen year old who wasn't ready to be a mother, who deals with her emotions by not really dealing with them at all. For nine months I pretended not to care, only slipping up a few times. I was Quinn Fabray: head Cheerio, popular girl, honor roll student. I was taught that the only emotion one should possess in times of crisis is neutral. I tried to feel nothing, but I did. I felt something.
I loved her so much, more than words can describe. So I was smart. I was selfless. I was mature and strong and noble. And for those 48 hours, I was a damn good mom.