Coding: The Doctor/Donna Noble

Timeline: Post 'Partners in Crime'

Planet Of The Hats

By Socket

The Doctor stood behind Donna covering her eyes. 'Are you ready?'

Donna could bear the suspense no longer - the Doctor had taken her to a surprise location and refused to give her any clues.

'Yes!' she exclaimed.

The Doctor pulled his hands away. 'Donna Noble – welcome to The Planet Of The Hats!'

Donna stood on a hill and stared out at a city where aliens strutted about, looking like they were at Ascot. Every one of them wore an extravagant hat. Donna was transfixed.

She turned to the Doctor. 'I can't believe there's actually a Planet Of The Hats!'

'Well, technically it's called Eros III - but its nickname is Planet Of The Hats,' he leaned closer to Donna. 'Take a closer look.'

Donna did as instructed. She strained her eyes in concentration and after a moment exclaimed. 'Oh, you're kidding me!'

'Yep, they're heads - not hats!'

Donna was astonished. 'But how?'

The Doctor grinned. 'The Erosians are shape shifters… well, their heads are! Their heads can take on any shape or colour that they see.'

Donna's grin widened. 'That's amazin'!'

The Doctor turned to his friend. 'Come on – put on your glad rags and we'll set out.'

Donna hugged him with glee. 'I'll just be a tick!' and with that, she ran back to the TARDIS in search of the hat box she'd packed all those months ago.

Donna and the Doctor walked through the town centre arm-in-arm. Donna nodded at several Erosians who stopped and marvelled at her hat, then mimicked its appearance; their entire head changing in front of her eyes.

'I think I've become a trend setter!' she exclaimed happily.

The Doctor eyed the monstrosity on Donna's head. Apparently she'd bought it to wear to her friend Sherry's niece's holy communion, until Sherry had falsely accused her of something… the Doctor had lost track of the story at that point – sometimes Donna spoke so quickly and animatedly he couldn't keep up! But he always got the gist – in this case, the hat had been bought and never worn, until now. It was hideous – green with a yellow trimming and a replica dove. But Donna was happy, so he was happy.

They decided to go to the Eros Summer Fair, he wanted Donna to experience the deep-sea dipper – a roller coaster ride that plunged its passengers 200ft under the ocean. You got to see sea life upside down and at 100 mph. For non-sea-breathing creatures, the fairground provided oxygen pills which gave you the ability to breathe underwater for up to an hour. Donna was intrigued.

As they stood in queue a woman behind them commented on Donna's hat.

'It's magnificent!'

'Thank you,' Donna said, then turned to the Doctor. 'See – she likes it!'

'I never said a word!' The Doctor proclaimed.

'You didn't have to!' Donna stated.

The woman smiled. 'Husbands are useless when it comes to these things.'

Donna and the Doctor exchanged their usual mystified look when they were mistaken for a couple, then turned to the woman and chorused:

'Oh we're not married - '

'We're not a couple - '

The woman looked surprised. 'Oh, sorry – my mistake.'

The Doctor turned to Donna. 'Why does that keep happening?'

Donna shrugged, genuinely miffed. 'I have no idea.'

Overhead a deafening crack filled the sky. Everyone in the fairground looked up. The heavens opened and lightening streaked the sky – suddenly it began to rain frog-like creatures. Giant purple frogs with claws and rage-filled protruding eyes.

The frogs began to attack people; screams filled the air as everyone ran for shelter.

Dark clouds rolled across the sky and thunder sounded.

The Doctor took Donna's hand and they ran for cover.

Sheltered by a tree, they looked up at the sky. The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver, aimed it at the roaring clouds and scanned them, whilst Donna removed her hat and used it to fend off several giant frogs.

'Just as I thought…' he muttered.

Donna gazed at him. 'Happens often does it? Ninja wildlife falling from the sky?'

The Doctor looked at Donna. 'There's been an electrical disturbance - it fractured the subspace atmosphere which caused the phenomenon.'

'In English - not Time Lord gibberish!' Donna said as she kicked a menacing-looking frog - sending it flying.

'Someone deliberately made it rain Ninja wildlife.'

'Why?'

'I don't know.'

'Well isn't that just wizard?!' Donna exclaimed in her definitive way.

The Doctor repressed a grin. 'Lets get back to the TARDIS and find out what's happening.'

He led the way back to the blue box. Donna followed blindly.

Once inside the TARDIS, the Doctor ran a trace on the console.

'Well?' Donna asked.

The Doctor looked troubled.

'That's not a good look,' Donna said. 'That's a look that says we're in deep shi - '

'I've seen this before,' the Doctor interrupted.

'When?'

'2132.' The Doctor looked distressed, which unsettled Donna. 'It's the Srettor,' he explained.

'Who are they?'

'They go from planet to planet, destroying and scavenging… they send down an army to eliminate the population, then move in and take over.'

'So the frogs - '

'Atst.'

'The Atst are soldiers?'

The Doctor nodded. 'Yes. They're the first wave. Next comes the Srettor. '

Donna gulped. 'The Srettor?'

The Doctor grimaced. 'You don't want to be anywhere near the Srettor. They skin their victims alive and eat their - '

Donna held up her hands. 'Suddenly feeling vegetarian,' she stated.

'There's only one thing that scares the Srettor,' The Doctor claimed.

'And that is?' Donna asked with baited breath.

'Daisies.'

Donna stared at her friend. 'What?'

'Daisies,' the Doctor repeated.

Donna frowned. 'Are you kiddin' me? They have a mortal fear of Daisies?'

'Yes.'

A grring sound ricocheted throughout the TARDIS.

'What was that?' asked Donna.

The Doctor checked the console. 'The Srettor ships are leaving orbit.'

'They're gone?' she asked, puzzled.

'Yes.'

'Why?'

The Doctor studied a map of the planet. 'Seems that Eros III was prepared for an attack… Daisy fields surround all central areas.'

'Smart cookies,' Donna observed.

The Doctor almost looked disappointed.

'Guess they don't need saving,' Donna stated.

The Doctor nodded.

'Guess we can be on our way then,' Donna said.

The Doctor nodded.

'Doctor?'

'Yes?'

'Do you want to follow the Srettor and make sure the next planet they invade has Daisy fields a-plenty?'

The Doctor grinned. 'We should make sure.'

Donna smiled. 'Alright then.'

The Doctor set the TARDIS in motion; sometimes he thinks Donna has been waiting for him all his life.