Author's Note: A yes, I've been needing to write a good crack fic for a while now. Anyway, this fic details just a few of the problems I see when I read O.C fics (Most of which are just awful). But hey, I feel a hell of a lot better now, since i wrote this. Anyway, enjoy!

Scenario One: I don't find this weird at all!

(Insert Author's name here) was just a normal 16 year old Ed, Edd and Eddy fan. He had short black hair, wore a green shirt with a Jawbreaker symbol on it that just had the slightest tinge of blue, or was it green? Some would even say that it looked red, but (Insert Author's name here) didn't think so. He also wore a pair of tan cargo shorts which he used to carry all sorts of Deus Ex Machina to help in in every possible situation. He was the captain of the soccer team but everyone also wanted him in the football team too as he was automatically better then everyone else at everything.

"I wish I was I in the Ed, Edd and Eddy world," (Insert Author's name here) said as he plopped himself down onto his bed.

Suddenly a giant portal sucked him up.

"Whoa," (Insert Author's name here) screamed as he was pulled through the vortex as if he were weightless.

He closed his eyes and when he opened them he was in the cul-de-sac. He could just barely see three figures talking to each other, but he couldn't see or hear them clearly. He began to wipe his eyes and then saw the people who stood before him.

"Hey," Eddy smiled. "Let's be friends and not get freaked out because you just fell through a freakish portal that came from nowhere!"

Double D spoke up next. "I find this completely logical!"

"Gravy, I mean, Buttered Toast!"

"Okay," (Insert Author's name here) said, happy that he was finally getting the chance to hang out with his childhood idols, because nobody would ever get freaked out if they were suddenly transported to a cartoon world without logical reason. "Let's scam all those pigeons out of their money!"

"Oh boy," Double D cried out in happiness. "I find this completely moral!"

Minutes later the entire scam, which turned out to be a gigantic roller coaster, was built without a single problem due to (Insert Author's name here) using his amazing construction skills. Oh, did I forget to say that (Insert Author's name here) constructed the Eiffel Tower, because he did.

"Wow," Jimmy said as he pranced around, gasping as he saw the ride. "I wanna go, I wanna go!" He skipped to (Insert Author's name here) with an ecstatic look on his face. The other cul-de-sac kids followed.

"That'll be five dollars!" (Insert Author's name here) held out his hand.

"We don't find that over-priced at all!" Jonny stated as he pulled out a crisp and clean five dollar bill from his pocket and proceeded to walk in.

"Wait!" (Insert Author's name here) scolded the boy. "What about Plank?"

The boy walked back and handed (Insert Author's name here) another five dollar bill, earning smiles of respect and acceptance from the three Eds.

The other kids also paid and went on the ride 895,734,587,684,768,576 times. And the Eds got enough money to make an entire country out of jawbreakers.

The End

Scenerio Two: (Insert Author's name here), the Hated

Kevin secretly hated (Insert Author's name here) for taking all the attention from the neighborhood. He secretly stayed up every night trying to think up brutal ways to kill/hurt/torment/humiliate (Insert Author's name here) and the Eds. Oh, did I forget to mention that this isn't the Post-BPS-Kevin from Scenario One? This is Homicidal-Kevin.

Anyway, he finally decided on a plan that involved lasers, yes, lots and lots of lasers. Yes, this would be all he would need to get (Insert Author's name here) out of the neighborhood, maybe then he would get his quarterback position back on the football team. Oh, did I forget to mention that since (Insert Author's name here) attended Peach Creek Jr. High and joined the football team he single-handedly won every single game for them, because he did, but he wasn't cocky about it, nope, not at all.

Homicidal-Kevin waited outside (Insert Author's name here)'s house, er… I mean shack, you see, since (Insert Author's name here) didn't have any money he couldn't afford to live in a regular house, and because he was so overwhelmingly modest he refused to live with his three best friends whom he'd met only one scenario ago. It was okay though, because the Eds decided to keep him company and stayed over at his house all the time. Once the three Eds plus (Insert Author's name here) walked out, Homicidal-Kevin turned his killing device on, instantly vaporizing all three Ed's, but (Insert Author's name here) jumped away in time, dodging the deadly lasers. Oh, did I forget to mention that aside from being a construction genius and a soccer star and a football prodigy, he was also a combat expert, because he was.

(Insert Author's name here) pulled out the Deus Ex Machina from his pocket, and instantly, Homicidal-Kevin's deadly machine exploded. (Insert Author's name here) watched the flames left over from the machine, sad that his three best friends had been killed. Suddenly, using his special ability, the "Tears of Unfathomable Sorrow" the Ed's were magically revived.

Suddenly it was nighttime and shooting stars began streaking through the sky, then Nazz came and totally stared making out with (Insert Author's name here) for no reason.

The End