AN: Uuuh, okay, this thing is sort of cliché … but I'm going to do my darn best to make sure I throw in plenty that isn't cliché! So is my writer in crime. Anyway, Izaya's up to something sketchy. If you don't like spoilers, then don't look up the Kink Link. I know it's tempting, but you might be happier not knowing future events. Except for this little prologue, I'm going aiming to make each chapter at least 4000 words long. Please read and review!

Kink Meme Link (Without Spaces): http : / / drrrkink . livejournal . com / 3511 . html ? thread = 11559863

Disclaimer: We do not in any way own the characters/scenes/ … oh you know the drill I'm sure.

A Cure for Boredom

A Durarara! Fanfiction by Kitty & Foxy

Chapter One: Guess Who's Missing

Orihara Izaya had to say the life of an informant had many ups and downs. One of the many ups was that it provided a vast amount of intriguing scenarios, and that it never got boring. But one of the downs was that in the down-time, it was excruciatingly boring. During these kinds of times, he'd take it upon himself to make life interesting, and he was currently plotting one as he leafed through one of his binders full of Yakuza member listings. Not that he was going to challenge the Yakuza; he was just trying to entertain himself, to let the time pass by faster.

Of course, he couldn't say he was bored anymore when an old, familiar face came bursting through the door. The little blond looked ready to call up a storm as he strutted towards Izaya's desk, expressing hatred and accusations in every visible muscle in his face and body. Not that he really had that many, in his opinion; the little blond was actually rather scrawny. Kind of like those little dogs that bark a lot and everyone laughs at when it bares its teeth in anger.

"Hello, Masaomi-kun!" Izaya replied cheerily, wheeling his chair back over to the main desk, pushing the laptop aside. "How can I help you? It's been a while since you've com-"

Masaomi slammed his hands down on the desk, glaring into the informant's face. Izaya merely frowned. "Well, that's rather rude. We haven't seen each other in a while~"

"Where. Is. He?" Masaomi growled, not moving an inch. He wouldn't allow this asshole to weasel his way out of the question.

"There are nearly six billion of my beloved humans in the world, and nearly half of those are he's. You're going to have to be a little more specific than that." Izaya grinned, relaxing back in his chair. "Go ahead and sit down."

Masaomi still didn't budge. "You know exactly who I mean, and damn it, you better tell me or –"

"Or what? You're not the type to carry out such threats, Masaomi-kun." He folded his arms, only further irritating the already furious blond before him. It was so much fun to mess with him!

"Where's Mikado, you asshole!" Masaomi started digging his nails into his own fists, and even started shaking in anger a little.

"… Now what made you think I know that?" He still sported his devious grin.

"I've learned that you're at the root of every problem. What makes you think I wouldn't realize it was you sooner or later?" Masaomi nearly shouted. "Where is he?"

"I really wouldn't know that, Kida-kun." Izaya shrugged, but it was clearly unremorseful and too playful. Like a cat and mouse. "How long has he been missing?"

"Don't give me that bull! He's been missing for nearly two weeks, and no one knows where he is, but I'm damn certain you do because you've been tailing him lately!"

"Oooh, so scary," Izaya laughed, and stood up and put his face a few mere inches away from Masaomi's. "And if I really don't know?"

"I doubt that," Masaomi growled back, backing off a few inches. He hated the informant with a deep passion, but he couldn't bring himself to finally punch him where he deserved it. "Even if you're not responsible for his being missing, I bet you know where he is."

"If I did know that," Izaya started, his grin growing ever wider, "I'd tell you. That way, you could run to his rescue, couldn't you now? That would be entertaining, you know."

"Shut up!" Masaomi growled, but he started feeling a little broken again. Izaya was trying to relate this to the incident with Saki … he just wouldn't let it go …

"Would you like me to start looking for you sweet little friend? I'm sure I could do it for a price~"

"Just find out where he is, or I swear I will kill you if he isn't found soon!" Masaomi roared, and with that, he stormed out of the office, slamming the door.

Izaya started laughing as he fell back into his chair. Oh, how amusing this was! This was surely one of the many reasons he loved his humans so. Their reactions to things could be the most amusing of all. They always varied and never grew stale. And the little blond was especially fun to deal with. No matter what reaction he gave, he was always that easy to break. He had actually been expecting this to happen sooner, though. He was slightly surprised it had taken the little blond ball of fury two weeks to come and confront him. Ah, well, at least it came!

He picked up his phone, and dialed a number. After a few rings, the other end answered.

"Hello?"

"Hello, my secretary!" Izaya spun halfway around in his chair, looking out the great window. "I just received my first death threat!"

"…You've received plenty of those before." She didn't sound surprised.

"First one for this endeavor, though." He started laughing a little again. Oh, how quickly boredom could be turned into amusement in an instant in this city! "How's the experiment of yours going?"

"Annoyingly well."

"Ah, well, can't have everything you want, can you?"

"… Is that all you called for?" She seemed irritated. Oh, how charming the frowny secretary could be.

"No. Just thought maybe you should add an extra scar here or there."

"A new game you're planning?"

"Perhaps."

"Fine. You owe me."

"Nonsense. I already pay you plenty. Just finish up within a week or so." He grinned, and ended the call. He cracked his knuckles, sighing in happiness at the world. Life was going to get a whole lot more interesting again!