A/N: I gave up on my serious story, and now I need to relax and not be so dedicated

Harry went to the bathroom as the dark night surrounded him in a sexy way

Harry: (Peeing)

Hermione: Harry, is that you?

Harry: (still peeing) Oh hello Hermione, I'm just here, taking a sexy leak, in this sexy bathroom, I never realized how sexy I was until I looked into this sexy mirror and said "hey beautiful, your sexy"

Hermione: Well, I had a question for you Harry.

Harry: (still peeing) and don't you think I'm just too sexy for my shirt? I'm just so sexy, it hurts!

Hermione: HARRY, we're talking about me!

Harry: (Still peeing) But, but I'm sexy!

Hermione: I was just thinking, Harry, What are you going to do with all that ass, all that ass inside your jeans?

Harry: (Still peeing, can you believe it?) I was going to Flaunt it actually.

Hermione: Oh, well, can I, can I touch it?

Harry: (OMFG he is STILL peeing) That's what this sexy ass is for, sexy.

Hermione: Oh Harry, I didn't think you thought I was sexy!

Harry: (Ok he stopped, but his pants are still down) Sweetie, the more you talk, the less horny I become, less with the yappy more with the touchy.

Hermione: (places hand on ass) Wow, that's smooth, like a cow's nut sack.

Harry: (started peeing) Like a sexy co..

Ron: WHATS GOING ON?

Hermione: Oh, Ron I was

Ron: Not now woman (throws flaming baby at Hermione) Harry, I thought you were my best friend!

Harry: (carping) Your sexy best friend?

Ron: It isn't a time for stating the obvious Harry! YOU knew I was horny for Hermione.

And that she was horny for me!

Harry: (Taking a shower) THEN WHO'S HORNY FOR HARRY!

Hermione: (Getting up dizzily) Ron, you don't understand, we were jus..

Ron: (Snaps Hermy's neck) I said NOT NOW! Harry how could you?

Harry: (Peeing) Listen, I cannot help that. Its not my fault gave me and 16 pack, and kick ass check bones

Ron: I know, I know, but I mean (dawson's creek song starts) do you have to be, so dame sexy

I don't wanna wait, for our lives to be over

Harry: (dancing) Where is that music coming from?

Ron: I, I don't know

La la la la la, something blah blah, whatevvvvvvvvvver

Ron: (jumping into Harry's arms) HOLD ME HARRY

Hermione: Huh, whaa, someone hold me!

Ron: (Kicks Hermione in eyes) BE A MAN

Harry: (Peeing) I though you liked her?

Ron: Jus that thick, beautiful hair, it makes me wanna shake my laffy taffy, you know?

Harry: (Scratching nuts) no, I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish

END OF CHAPTER UNO

More to come once I purchase more sour patch kids