A/N: written for "A Very Potter Challange :)" and quotes are in bold underline. This is my first drunk fanfiction and being 13 i dont know much about heavy drinking, so tell me what you think.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter isnt mine, those rights belong to JK.
ENJOY!
The Marauders were hyper.
It was Sunday night and the other students of Gryffindor had long since silenced the dorm where loud screeches of laughter and small explosions were issuing from it every second. You see The Marauders weren't just hyper, they were celebrating. No-one knew what they were celebrating and to be honest no-one really cared. But when they were all you could do was ignore them, stay out of their way and hope it lasted less than a week because you can't reign in a partying Marauder, it just can't be done.
Their rambunctious voices and hysterical laughter was partly due to the excessive amounts of alcohol the four 5th years had consumed in the last 3 hours but mostly their high spirits were due to the fact that they had finally done it. Against all odds, without help, 3 boys had become unregistered Animagi. When James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew had found out their friend Remus Lupin was a werewolf, in their second year, they had started trying to become Animagi so they could accompany him on his monthly transformations. It had taken 3 years but finally, without the incantation, James could become a handsome white stag, Sirius could turn into a large, grim-like, black dog and Peter could change into a rat.
"I propose another toast!" said Sirius, standing up and swaying slightly but not slurring his words, "to the greatest pupils in this fine school, we Marauders!" This was met with enthusiastic clapping and whooping from the other three and, pleased with the response, Sirius fell back onto his bed.
"You know what I wonder about?" James said suddenly, "the Hogwarts house names; I mean Ravenclaw is like a Raven's claw, Gryffindor is like a Griffin and a door and Slytherin is like a snake slivering though the grass but… What the HELL is a Hufflepuff!" James hiccupped at the end but still no slurring of his words.
This, of course, made absolutely no sense but Remus grinned then said, "Your right you know!" He was quite drunk as this was his first taste of strong alcohol and, judging by the amount of bottles of firewhiskey and mead around him, he had had considerably more to drink than the rest of them.
"I know I am, I think you're drunk Remus." James giggled sounding, scarily, like Lily Evans.
"I think Peter is drunk" Sirius said sounding so serious that everyone laughed more.
When they had all calmed down James said, "Where is Pete?"
"Passed out in the corner" Remus chuckled.
"I bet Pete has a girlfriend" Sirius grinned at the slumped mess of a very drunk Peter.
"Why?" James asked
"Be-cause," Sirius drew out the word, "he is always off to the kitchens and not coming back for ages."
"Yeah," James chortled, "I bet its Snape too!"
"Noooooooooo silly James-y" Remus sang, "Snape loves Lily-kins"
At this innocent, drunken comment James' face fell and he began to cry. Huge, wet tears streamed from his eyes.
"But I love Lily-kins!" he wailed, "I want her to be miiiine!"
"Oh no," Remus looked upset and confused, "James is leaking!"
"No silly Billy, he's crying. It's what people do when they get sad." Sirius explained carefully, like explaining something to a young child who doesn't understand something (which, technically, was exactly what he was doing).
"Who's Billy?" James asked. No-one had noticed that while he was crying he was also drinking heavily from a bottle of mead and is now significantly drunker than he was before his emotional outburst.
When no-one answered him he asked louder then pointed to the drooped form of Peter, "Is that Billy?"
"No James, that's Peter. Why am I the most sober one in here?" he demanded and then finally an idea hit him. Sirius wobbled over to his trunk and after digging through it found a bottle labelled "Drunken Nights" he grinned and drank a few large gulps from the bottle that should have been taken in shots. Then he burped and promptly passed out.
When he woke up the bottle was empty and James and Remus were singing rowdily and very out of tune, learning on each other for support and swaying at random. Sirius realised that it must be after midnight by now but he had more pressing matters to deal with, his new found true love.
"Weeemus, I tink I love you verwee much so and want yoooou to beeee my wife-y" he grinned and James squealed sounding, once again, a lot like Lily.
"I want to be the bride's maid!" he told them.
"Ok den Siri we shall get maaaried right away! James can maaaaarry us." Remus grinned.
When Peter woke he was noticeably more sober than he was when he fell into his drunken stupor and was highly amused by the scene that as playing out in front of him. James stood, stark naked, between Sirius and Remus with an upside-down herbology book in his hands while Sirius wore a top hat and Remus had a bra on his head. The two that had, at least some, clothes on appeared to be getting married by the power vested in James.
"Areyouguys," Peter stared to say but his words stuck together so he stopped and, trying to ignore the pounding in his head, tried again, "are you guys having a wedding?"
"Billy! Yes I am marrieding them two together as husband and wife-y" James said proudly.
Peter looked once more at the absurd scene and broke out into flamboyant howls of laughter, "Marrieding? Oh don't make me laugh, I'm pissing!"
This however made Remus angry. "Stop laughing Billy! I wuv Siri and he wuvs me! I no coz he got a tattoo of my name on his chest. " Remus said the last bit looking satisfied and Sirius pulled up his shirt to show Remus' barely legible name written in black ink.
Peter bit back another laugh. He decided that, as it was a little after 2am, it was probably time to get some sleep. I mean they did have transfiguration first thing and their head of house was not an understanding woman.
"Hey I know what, because it's so late why don't you go to bed and in the morning you can get married with everyone watching and clapping?" Peter asked the three of them. James, who is a very obedient drunk, nodded serenely and promptly fell asleep on the bed he was nearest to (Remus'). Sirius and Remus, however, were not fooled.
"I don't want to Billy, I wanna be marrieding Siri!" Remus told him.
"Yeah and I wanna be marrieding Remus" Sirius agreed.
Peter barely suppressed a sigh. Then an idea hit him. "Ok but I have a good luck potion for you two to drink first." He walked over to his trunk and after rummaging around in the debris of broken quills, dried ink and old sweet wrappers he pulled out two tiny vials of blue sleeping draught. He gave them to the "happy couple" who downed them immediately. Seconds later they were lying on the floor, dead to the world.
Peter then had the difficult task of heaving them into their beds and when they all were safe he cleared up a little, lay down and took another draught.
The next morning.
"Oh My God My HEAD!" James groaned.
"I can't believe you three actually got me drunk, MERLIN YOU ACTUALLY GOT ME DRUNK!" Remus shouted, then realised that was an awful idea because it made hit head feel like a hippogriff was kicking it.
"Why in Godric's name is "Remus" scrawled across my chest?" Sirius demanded.
"Guys, its 10 to" Peter said, feeling a lot less hung-over than the rest of The Marauders.
"10 to what?"
"10 to Transfiguration idiots!"
"OH GODRIC!" The other 3 shouted and ran around like headless hippogriffs until they were at least mostly dressed (missing various shoes, socks and ties) then high-tailed it to Transfiguration. They were still 10 minutes late.
"Mr Potter, Mr Black, Mr Lupin and Mr Pettigrew, would you like to explain why you are ten minutes late for my lesson half-dressed and…" Professor McGonagall paused her scarily calm speech to sniff in the boy's direction, "…smelling like a brewery. Are you hung-over?" She took their silence as consent. "Here are three test papers on this terms topic and if you do not scrape at least an O in it you will be in much more severe trouble than you already are."
The Marauders took a collective gulp and gingerly took the papers from their professor. However after they all read the front page they couldn't help but grin; all their worry disappearing at once.
Transfiguration test 42.
5th year
ANIMAGI:
The theory for becoming one.
A/N: so what do you think? good? bad? do review because its like going into a bookshop reading a book then walking out without paying if you don't. I try to review everything i read all of, i expect you to give me the same respect I would show your storys. Anyway enough of that rant/lecture thing.
Because this is my story i feel like its free advertisting space so a shout of to my story "There's Normality THEN There's Marauder" please read it, i love seeing those view numbers clock up and if you solomly swear to love the marauders then this is a fic for you!
Review and i hope you enjoyed!