Note: This is a side fic to Destiny Intertwined. Its not very serious and I hope it makes you guys smile. I'm still alive, just having a hard time feeling these characters for some reason.
Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Calibur or the characters therein. Or Oreos and pudding... though, I do want those now.
When Maxi got home from work, the last thing he expected to see was a certain Chinese runt on the couch eating what looked to be some hardcore stoner food. Or the kind of thing a woman would eat during that horrible time of the month where even the most innocently intended- and possibly a little sexist- phrase could send her into the kind of murderous rage that made even the great pirate Maxi want to curl up under a blanket and hide until it was all over. He was fairly certain both his room mate and his room mate's runt of a brother thing were male. Then again, they were Chinese. Maxi wasn't sure gender worked the same for them as it did for his people... and both men did look kind of feminine in a small, cute way. He frowned.
"You aren't on your period, are you?" the dandy man asked, sauntering over and seating himself on the arm of the couch.
Rusty eyes blinked at that, clearly not getting it. At first, Maxi thought the kid wasn't going to answer on account of his clearly full mouth. Xiba proved that theory wrong when he spoke- mouth full of chocolate and that white cream filling stuff, "Wazzat mean?"
The older of the two rolled his eyes and smacked Xiba in the back of the head, "It means what's with the food? You stoned or something? And don't talk with your mouth full!"
It wasn't often that Maxi was the most mature person in the room- there was wide speculation that such an event was actually impossible- and he was determined to not let the chance to be the more adult one slip away. Beside, he was proud of the first Chinese runt he had taken in and transformed from the savage he was into the polite citizen that locked himself in a dark room with a computer ever night after work.
Actually, thinking about it, Kilik wasn't very polite. He was an ass some of the time. Most of the time. Mostly to Maxi. And Siegfried. But especially Maxi. He also wasn't too savage when they first met. For a stray runt. In fact, he had been more polite and respectful to the older man then. Maxi frowned harder at that. How did he turn that sweet, emotionless kid into the pit of sarcasm he had become?
"It's good," Xiba's voice brought the black haired man out of his thoughts.
The teen dipped another cooker from the package he was holding into the bowl of chocolate pudding on his lap and held it out for the other to take. Maxi didn't question it. He took the chocolate on chocolate magic and ate it one bite. Stormy eyes went wide before sliding shut. That. Was. Amazing. He grinned as he reached over and grabbed another cookie to dip into pudding.
The auburn haired youth frowned at that, "Hey! Those are mine! I didn't say you could have more than one!"
"Actually," Maxi corrected, shoving his cookie in his mouth and speaking before bothering to swallow, "I bought the cookies. Probably the pudding, too. So they're technically mine!" There was a loud gulp before he continued, mouth now free of delicious, pudding-covered cookie, "When you think about it, I'm really just sharing my stuff with you! And you don't see me being an ass about it, do you?"
Xiba just rolled his eyes. He didn't even bother bringing up that the so-called 'man of the house', as Maxi seemed to like calling himself, was just talking with his mouth full. Nope. He sat there and continued to watch some cartoon about people getting into street fights or something about a bison and the military- the young monk wasn't sure what was even going on, but he was fairly certain he could have taken any of those characters in a fight- with his brother's room mate while they shared what could have been the least healthy snack ever. It was a good day.
All good things have to come to an end. It was probably written in some ancient text somewhere, because that fact seemed to be a law of the universe. Xiba and Maxi were both fairly certain that their good thing was going to be stomped down when the door to the apartment opened and a certain straight-faced brunette walked in. The pair of men on the couch froze and slowly looked to the door- one with narrowed, rusty eyes and the other looking more like a deer caught in headlights than a man of his size had any right to.
Brown eyes narrowed at the sight before him. A frown settled on Kilik's features as he calmly closed the door behind himself and crossed his arms. Despite rarely having to use it until after he left the Temple and met Maxi, Kilik had a very good disappointed teacher stare. He hit the other two men with it full force and asked, too calmly and quietly for the look he was giving, "Maxi. Did you get my brother hooked on the weed?"
In the back of his mind, Maxi made a note to himself that his room mate A) sounded like a moron sometimes- read: a lot- and B) didn't know much of anything about drugs. With a roll of the eyes and a dramatic sigh with hand gesture to match, Maxi bemoaned his situation. "I'm hurt you would think that I would do such a thing! I did a fine job raising you, didn't I? You don't think I could do just as fine a job with your poor, impressionable, little brother?"
Xiba hit the black-haired man and scoffed, "Who are you calling impressionable?" If he weren't in such a good mood, he'd get after the actor for calling the traitor his brother. Things were peaceful between the two monks for the moment, and Maxi and Kilik insisting on calling him that would have been enough to break it if it weren't for cartoons and sweets.
Maxi and Kilik ignored Xiba- who, in turn, tuned them both out and turned up the television- in favor of arguing over everything from whether or not Maxi raised Kilik to whether or not Maxi would get Xiba into drugs right into what did and didn't count as harmless drugs. Kilik didn't think any of them could possibly be harmless while Maxi argued that the worst they had to worry about from pot was some odd snacking and maybe carpentry. Those had been his experiences with the substance when he- and Kyam, but he wasn't going to mention that part- did it. Kilik made death threats at the man who dare corrupt his brother with such things, and then more death threats when he found out that Maxi had ever been a casual drug user. The argument didn't come to an end until Maxi snatched up another cookie, dunked it in the pudding, and shoved it into Kilik's open mouth as he was speaking.
"See?" Maxi asked with a huff, "You don't need to be stoned to think this is amazing!" He wiped his hand off on his pants, like the mature adult he was.
Kilik chewed. His chocolate-brown eyes went wide. After he swallowed it, he gave a silent nod to his room mate- that was just Kilik's way of admitting defeat in an argument without having to verbally admit defeat- and sat himself down next to the younger monk on the couch. Maxi returned to his perch on the arm of the couch at Xiba's other side, smirking the entire time. The three of them ate their horribly unhealthy, yet undeniably delicious, snack in peace.
The peace was interrupted when the door opened once again. Three pairs of eyes turned to see a tall German man blinking at them.
Maxi was the first to speak, "You gave him a key?" He was trying to give Kilik a stern look, but the monk either didn't notice or didn't care.
"He knew about the key I keep under the door mat for you," Kilik replied casually, not turning his attention back to the cartoon.
Xiba snorted at that, also losing interest in the man at the door, "Everyone knows about the key under the mat. I don't see why either of you bother locking the door at all anymore." He ate another cooker and only snorted in response when the older monk smacked the back of his head and told him to take human sized bites.
"What?" Maxi looked from Kilik to Siegfried, and then back to Kilik, "There's a key under the doormat?!" His mouth was hanging open in shock. Clearly he had spent one too many night locked out of his own apartment because someone hadn't told him there was a key under the doormat. How rude!
Siegfried, for his part, didn't bother saying much of anything at the sight of the three Asians on the couch with Oreos and pudding. He raised a brow at Maxi before shrugging it off and sauntering to the couch. He sat himself down, nonchalantly dragged Kilik onto his lap, took the cookie the brunette had just covered in pudding, and ate it one one bite.
"Human bites," Kilik murmured, leaning back against the German. Siegfried murmured a response into the monk's ear that made the smaller of the two blush. Neither of the other two on the couch asked what he said. They didn't want to know.