10:38

I don't want to go out tonight. It's New Year's Eve, and the members of Dauntless are at Candor headquarters. There's a war going on, but the leaders decided we should make a small celebration to keep people's spirits up. It's happening at the roof. But I don't want to go out tonight.

Tris is with the Erudite. I have impulses to leave this building and go running to her, just to see her face one last time. But we are making plans to attack the Erudite and kill Jeanine, so I have to sit here and wait until the day we scheduled.

It is killing me. I'd give anything to see Tris again. Her short hair recently dyed pink, her big blue eyes, her rare smile. She was the only thing that kept me in Dauntless, the only person that ever made me feel like I belonged somewhere.

When I was at Abnegation, I certainly didn't belong with my family. I had to pretend that everything was alright, that my father was a good father. When I transferred to Dauntless, people were so violent and I knew that Dauntless was not supposed to be like that. It was supposed to be about bravery, not about attacking random people for entertainment. But I had to pretend I agreed with everything.

Then Tris came along and I felt like she could know me. The real me. I don't even know how I fell in love with her, it was fast and it woke me up. It gave me hope of a future. God, I wish she was here.

11:15

"Hey, Four." Zeke enters the room, where I'm left alone while the others celebrate. Honestly, what's there to celebrate?

"Hey Zeke." I can't even pretend that I'm fine.

"So, everyone is asking for you. I do mean everyone. Shauna, Uriah, Marlene, Lauren, Tori, everyone. And you've been acting very depressed since, you know…" He pauses. "Since Tris went to Erudite."

"Yeah, I'm not going." I say. Definitely not.

"You have to come, Four. It will help you."

"The only person that I might feel like celebrating with is not here."

"Okay. Because I brought them here to drag you."

Suddenly all those members he mentioned come into the room with paintball guns and start firing at me. Ouch, one caught my nose.

"Stop! Stop! I mean it!" I shout.

"We'll only stop if you come with us. It's good to get our minds off these things for a while. It's New Year's, Four!" Tori says, and I know I don't have a choice. They'll just keep firing.

"Okay, I'll go! Now stop!"

11:35

They drag me to the roof, where white decorations hang from the ceiling. There's mild music playing in the background, and no drinks. It's definitely not a Dauntless party. I see the Candor leaders sitting on a circle on the opposite wall. Candor members are sitting on another circle, talking, and Dauntless members are standing, most of them dancing.

But what catches my attention is the view of Erudite headquarters. Where my Tris is. Where we'll attack in 5 days. God, I hope she'll still be alive. I hope she'll be holding on.

"Not so bad after all, huh?" Says Uriah, with Marlene standing next to him and holding his hand.

"We all miss Tris, Four." She says, and I know she's telling the truth. Every Dauntless in the room silently nods. They've all grown respect for Tris since she left. But only I truly know her. Maybe Christina does too.

And that's who is coming towards me, with two glasses in hand.

"They don't serve real drinks here," Says Christina "so I brought you orange juice."

"Thank you." I take one.

"She was really stupid to do that, wasn't she?"

"Yes, she was. And… maybe brave. I know many people would have died already if she hadn't turned herself in." I agree.

"Tris is my best friend. No matter what happened. I wanted to forgive her, you know, before she left." Christina's eyes turn a little red. For Tris? For Will? Maybe for both. They were her best friends, afer all.

Not Tris. Tris is, not was. There's still hope.

Other people come and talk to us, forming a circle, like the Candor. I stand there, and say nothing. Because that's what I feel: nothing.

11:59

"Countdown begins!" Someone from Candor yells. Due to the war, I'm sure there won't be any fireworks. Couples hold hands. I stand there alone. Not if she was here. Maybe we'd put off the Abnegation influence inside us and kiss in public.

"TEN!"

I guess I'll never know.

"NINE!"

God, I wish I knew.

"EIGHT!"

At least she would be holding my hand.

"SEVEN!"

I never though I would be wishing for someone to hold my hand.

"SIX!"

Tris. Six fears. It's her number.

"FIVE!"

That's the number that stands between us.

"FOUR!"

Me.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Everyone kisses and screams, for a short while and then the room is more silent once again. That's when I see her. First I think I'm daydreaming, because she can't possibly be here. But then people start staring at her, shocked, and say:

"Tris! You're back!"

I feel a rush of emotion go through my body. She is alive. She is okay. Peter stands behind her. Maybe he was not a traitor after all. Everyone is cheering for her, and hugging her. I'm standing in awe. The one person I wished to see. She's here. I love her.

"How did you-'" I start.

"What?" She says, smiling and wide eyed "You think I would let anyone else be your midnight's kiss?"

She stands on tiptoes and slowly kisses me, while I'm sure everyone stares. But I wouldn't know because I'm focused on my Tris. I'm too far gone.

Later that night I learned that Peter though he owed Tris, so he helped her get out of Erudite. She's finally here, but we still have the attack, which we're planning to do with the factionless, in four days. Only Four.