/forever in denial about Lucy's death
He'd been asleep for a long time. It felt like it. His eyes were nearly sealed shut from sleep and it was hard to keep them open.
The first thing he saw when he woke up was Rebecca, leaning over him expectantly, her face etched with worry. She looked scared and like she hadn't slept in days. "Desmond?" she asked. He blinked at her slowly and then yawned, she looked a tad more relieved, a smile coming to her face. "How many fingers am I holding up?" she asked.
"Three," he said and his voice was thin and raspy.
"Good to have you back with the living, son," and then his eyes were drawn to the other person in the room: his father. He was older then he remembered and sunken eyes and a sunken face, he looked ill. Desmond was immediately torn between wanting to run and wanting to punch him right in the face. He'd told himself so many times over the past ten years that the next time, if or when he ever saw his old man again he'd do what he'd always been afraid to do when he was a kid. Which was fight back.
"Desmond," Rebecca put her hand on his arm and he realized he was trembling, he looked away from William at her. "Are you okay?" she asked with concern.
"What's he doing here?" he growled as best he could and wiped the sleep from his eyes, there was a lot of it.
"Saving you," William answered even when Rebecca opened her mouth, "You could at least be slightly grateful."
He glared at his father, "I'll be grateful when you deserve my gratitude," he spat and then coughed.
"Lets not do this after you just woke up," Rebecca said and handed him a bottle, "drink," it was water, he chugged it, not looking at William, his eyes on Rebecca. She was prettier then William anyway.
Then he almost choked again, forgetting how to swallow and coughed when the thought hit him. He waved away Rebecca's concern when she leaned over to him to see how he was, asking if he was okay. Once he was no longer trying to drown himself he asked, his voice more robust now thanks to the water, "Where is she?" He saw Rebecca's face go tight. She didn't answer right away. "Becca, where's Lucy."
There was a very heavy silence and Rebecca swallowed, "She uh, she—" and then her eyes flicked to William, then back to Desmond, "she's in the hospital."
"She's not dead?"
"No."
"Rebecca we discussed this," William said.
"Shut up," Desmond snapped at him.
"She's a traitor," William said firmly.
"And you're a dead beat, we still put up with you," he growled, glaring at William for five seconds, effectively silencing him (he had a lot of practice making himself look intimidating. Even if it wasn't him all the muscles in his face remembered how to make Ezio and Altair scowl and frown and glare and make wallpaper peel off walls and kill small animals) and then turned back to Rebecca. "I want to see her," he said.
"You just woke up-
"I want to see her," he said again.
Rebecca looked at a loss for a moment, "Okay," she said, "it'll take a little doing, she's in a public hospital, we don't have access to her, and you haven't eaten in like four days. You eat something and then you can see her."
"Promise?" he asked.
Rebecca glanced at William who was stonily silence, then she took a deep breath and looked at Desmond. "Yeah, I promise."
"Then bring on the food," and Rebecca laughed and helped him out of the Animus.
"Desmond we need-" William was saying.
"Don't care," Desmond said, ignoring him and stood up and wow that felt good. He looked at his father, "I really don't care what you have to say. So save it."
William glowered at him, "You should have more respect for your betters."
"Point me to one and I will," and he saw the look on Rebecca's face. It was one of those 'ouch BURN!' looks and she looked about two seconds away from offering William some ice.
"C'mon, lets find Shaun, he'll get you some grub," Rebecca said.
"Yeah, sounds great," and he let himself smile a little, following her. As he did he spotted the Apple on the table behind the Animus and after a momentarily hesitation he scooped it up, taking it with him. Better then leaving it in the same room as William.
As promised Shaun did find him something to eat, and didn't make fun of him once for it either. Desmond ate and Shaun asked him what it was like in the Animus in that condition and Rebecca went… somewhere, he wasn't sure where, but she'd promised he'd get to see Lucy, so he didn't care. Then, when all the food was gone, he asked, "What happened?"
Shaun froze a little, though he knew what Desmond wanted. "After you… you know back up came, they were always coming and seemed like they arrived just in time," Desmond nodded. "You were both in shock, for different things obviously. William had us put you back into the Animus so you didn't suffer further neurological damage from the trauma and… well…"
"What?"
Shaun pulled on his mouth, "No one wanted to call an ambulance," and for a second Desmond literally saw red. "Rebecca did though. Even though we were told not to. She's a liability now and we aren't quite sure where she stands with us anymore," his hands played with each other on the table. "But, the ambulance did come and she's a Jane Doe at one of the Roman hospitals, we're not sure which. Rebecca's figuring it out."
"Who said not to call?" Desmond asked flatly.
"Uh… William."
"Figured," he said and his left hand balled into a fist. Luckily someone had taken his hidden blade from him or he might have done something stupid with it.
"Hey," Rebecca suddenly poked her head into the room, smiling, "I found her."
—
The hospital was just like he thought it'd be. William and the other Assassins that were there had been against what they were doing. Desmond wasn't having it though. He'd just said that if they planned on him sticking around they better move the fuck out of the way or they'd never see him again. They all knew he could do it too. He'd vanished off the face of the Earth for ten years, and now he knew how he'd bee caught; motorcycle. He wouldn't make that mistake again and if he wanted to vanish he could do so without even thinking about it. He also still had the Apple on him, and quite literally he could just vanish.
None of them, including his father, wanted that, so they let them leave. They'd found a cab and crowded into it, Shaun making a comment about Desmond's usefulness since he could speak Italian. They arrived at the hospital about twenty minutes later. Desmond nearly fell out of the cab, the car wasn't meant for three people, even if none of them were big people (save Desmond's long legs but that was something else entirely).
"Hi," Desmond said to the nurse behind the front desk, his Italian good but even he could hear his accent. "I'm looking for a woman in your care."
"Her name?" she asked him.
"You don't have her listed as one. She's blonde though, blue eyed, came in with a stab wound," and his entire stomach turned into a knot when he spoke.
"Are you related?" she asked.
"Uh," he looked at Rebecca and Shaun and quickly came up with something, "I'm a friend, that's her brother and his girlfriend. They don't speak Italian," he explained with a helpless shrug. "We'd like to see her if we could," he said earnestly.
The nurse looked him over and then nodded- yes!- "Can you identify her for us? We have no records on her."
"Sure," he said.
"Come with me," and she stood, beckoning them, Desmond motioned to Shaun and Rebecca.
He fell back a bit to walk with them, "I told her you're her brother," he told Shaun softly.
"Oh brilliant," Shaun said sarcastically as they got into an elevator.
"I had to tell her something, and one of us had to be related to her," he hissed. "Also you and Becca are dating," he added, the two looked at each other and then looked away very pointedly. They both needed to get over themselves.
"And you are?" Shaun asked.
"Just a friend," Desmond shrugged as the elevator dinged at the third floor.
"We were afraid she wasn't going to make it for a while," the nurse said, "and according to her information, she's suffering amnesia, poor dear can't even remember her own name."
"Amnesia?" Desmond frowned. The nurse made a hum-like noise with a nod.
"Yes, and here we are. Can her brother fill this out?" she held out the clipboard and Desmond glanced at it.
"You need to fill that out," he told Shaun, pointing at the clipboard.
"What? Why me?"
"You're her brother," he said giving Shaun and significant look. "The words aren't that hard and I know you know Latin so shut up and do it," the nurse had no idea what they were saying.
Shaun scowled at him, "Fine," and he took the clipboard with a smile.
"Don't tire her out," the nurse told them.
"Right," Desmond nodded as the nurse opened the door for them. They went inside and Desmond didn't know what to expect. There were two beds in the room, though only the one closest to the window was occupied. Lucy was looking out the window when they came in but when she heard them turned to them, there was no recognition on her face, though it was very obviously her.
"Lucy!" Rebecca cried in delight, because clearly she'd been missing her friend, and went over to her. Shaun shouldered past him when he didn't move out of the way and sat on the other bed after saying his own hello, brain turning towards the clipboard information as he had trouble properly expressing his feelings.
"You know me?" Lucy asked them both.
"Yeah," Rebecca said with a smile, "We've been looking for you," she added. "I'm Rebecca, remember?"
Lucy stared at her, "No, I'm sorry," she said shaking her head sadly.
"Well you will, I'm sure. And this is Shaun, don't mind him he's really happy to see you too, he just doesn't know how to interact with real humans."
"I am right here Becca," Shaun grumbled irritably.
"Who's that?" Lucy pointed to him where he was still standing by the now closed door, unable to move.
"That's Desmond," Rebecca said, "and what are you doing over there you creeper? Get over here," she beckoned to him urgently. His feet moved on their own accord and he walked over to the bed. Rebecca was sitting on the very edge and Desmond sat on it as well, though Rebecca up at the head of the bed, Desmond more around her legs.
"Why are you only here now?" Lucy asked and whatever Rebecca said was lost on Desmond. He suddenly felt like he needed to leave. He'd done this. He'd put her in the hospital and was probably why she'd lost her memory, trauma. Trauma from being stabbed by someone you trusted. He could see an enlarged area around his waist, bandages, probably over stitches.
She'd probably had to have surgery from it and then she'd woken up alone. At the least Desmond had woken up with someone after what he'd been through. Lucy hadn't. She'd been alone in a strange place without memory of who she was, where she was, or what had happened. Thinking about it made it sort of hard to breathe. The only good part was that she was alive, and she could stay that way. She didn't remember the Assassins, or the Templars. They had no reason to come after her, and he knew Shaun wouldn't put anything on her new record that would let them track her back here. As it was the other Assassins didn't know she was here. He doubted the Templars were either.
A thought came to him. He wanted her to be safe, that was all he wanted. He'd wanted to keep her safe. But she was a traitor, who knew to which cause at this point. If they took her back she'd always be in danger. They'd have to leave her here, and he had a feeling both Shaun and Rebecca knew that too. They wanted her to be safe. To do that they'd never be able to see her again. This would be the first, last, and only time they'd ever meet. It'd be better that way really.
Didn't mean it hurt any less.
"Des," Rebecca calling his name snapped him out of his stupor, "You okay?"
He cleared his throat, "Yeah, fine."
"You look like you just saw a ghost."
"I've seen those," he said remember every Bleeding event he'd ever had. "I wish it was just that."
"You sure you're cool?" Rebecca asked.
He looked at her, then at Lucy who was looking back at him, all pretty and blue-eyed, her hair in a loose, messy, braid over her shoulder. "Yeah," he said, not looking away from her, "I'm cool."
"We can't stay much longer," Shaun suddenly said. "The others will be looking for us. They don't know she's here," he looked at Lucy who just had that confused look on her face.
"Yeah," Rebecca agreed.
"And this is done," Shaun added, waving the clipboard around, "you'll all filled out Lucy," he grinned.
"Oh good," she said though in a way like she only knew half of what she was talking about.
"We're ganna go now Lucy," Rebecca said and squeezed her hand.
"You'll come back?" she asked.
Rebecca's smile looked genuine, but Desmond could see how it was strained, "Yeah, we'll come back," and she let Lucy's hand go and stood up. "C'mon Shaun," and she got him to his feet and started to pull him towards the door.
"What about-
"C'mon Shaun," and then she was dragging him out of the room before Desmond could even get to his feet, the door closed behind them to Shaun's bitching.
He stared at the door and then turned around to Lucy who was looking at him, wondering what he'd do. "You're staying?" she asked him.
He rubbed his neck self consciously, guiltily, "No, uh… I wish," he offered her a smile.
"Me too. It's nice to have people around who don't speak with an Italian accent," she smiled at him brightly and that was so not fair. He'd never seen her smile like that, so without care or worry or strain. "And who know me," she added.
He couldn't do this. He thought he could. He couldn't do this. He got to his feet and looked down at her. She looked up at him cheerfully. "I'm sorry," he said, he needed to say it, she needed to know, even if she'd never really know. She needed to know he was sorry for what had happened, for hurting her. For not being able to stop it. For not being able to protect her. For finally being able to keep her safe the only way he knew how to. For letting her go.
"For what?" she asked, lips pursing slightly.
"A lot," he admitted. "More then I could explain really. I just am so, so sorry."
She didn't say anything for a moment, "I forgive you. I don't know what you think you have to apologize for, but I forgive you."
"Thank you," he said and leaned down, he pressed his lips to her forehead. As he was standing back up he suddenly grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him back down, pressing their lips together. Only for a moment though and then she realized what she was doing and let him go, he stumbled back a step. "Why'd you do that?" he asked.
She stared at him, equally confused, "I don't know," she said, also looking scared, not knowing why she'd done something or explain why. "I just don't want you to leave," and she looked about to cry.
He looked at the door where Shaun and Rebecca were waiting for him. He should go to them. He had to. It wasn't safe. He wasn't safe. He looked back down at her. He couldn't stay. He couldn't stay. Walk away. Right now. That's what he told himself. Walk away.
Instead he sat on her bed again, next to her now, "Okay," he said softly and took her hand. When he sat the Apple pressed against his skin through the pocket of his jacket. He wasn't helpless like he had been. He could do something now. "I won't leave you," he promised and kissed her on the temple, she leaned against him. He'd keep her safe, no matter what, he promised himself that. Nothing would hurt her again, not the Assassins, not the Templars, not the Ancients.
A few minutes later when Shaun and Rebecca came to see if he was coming they found Lucy curled up against his side where he sat on her bed, having been worn out by Rebecca's excitement and kissing him. The look he gave them was all they needed to understand. Shaun brought the clipboard up and scribbled something out, writing something new, and didn't say a single damn thing.
-fin-