I tangled my fingers in your hair as I pressed my lips firmer against yours. I just wanted to kiss you. That was it. I needed you tonight. Badly. I didn't know why, I just felt the need to cling to you in this way. To kiss until it was hard to breath.
But you took it the wrong way. You too held onto me but your hands didn't stay stationary and the kiss went deeper. Your hands would trace the top of my pants as you asked for permission into my mouth with your tongue. I gave into that, letting your tongue explore every part of my mouth, letting nothing be untouched. Without me noticing, you'd gently and slowly start making me lie down on my back. When I finally noticed, you already had my clothes off.
I tried saying something to stop you but I couldn't. I love you Kakuzu, I couldn't deny you this. Spreading my legs further and further apart, I'd bite my tongue, holding back my plead for you to stop. He held up three fingers in which I had to open my mouth and stop trying to bite down. I'd coat them evenly without a word, just with the cute whimpers that you absolutely loved to hear. You rejoined our mouths together once again before pulling back to start.
I cried with each thrust you made. You hit where I wanted and it made me scream. I screamed because it felt so good. I love having pain dealt to me and having it dealt to me by you made it better. I could feel your hot breath against my sweaty face with every move you made. We were both panting, our warm sweat mixing together.
I came before you did, white liquid gushing out with a scream. But you kept going. I opened my mouth to say your name to signal you to stop. But I couldn't. No words could be formed. I was panting so hard from the pain I enjoyed.
In and Out
In and Out
You repeated this, every extra thrust you made made it harder to do anything. My senses were going away and all I could see were stars. Harder and faster you went, bouncing on top of me. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I tried harder this time to say something and it came out faintly. "Ka . . . ku . . . zu . . .!" I said between clenched teeth. My voice was so high pitched that it shocked even me to hear it. But, of course, it was also mixed with the pounding of my heart in my ears. I slowly but gradually unclenched the sheets at my side.
Finally I got back my senses. It took a while but I finally calmed down. Although I didn't want to, I got under the blanket. I searched for Kakuzu in the bed, expecting him to be beside me. To stroke my cheek and calm me down more, making the pain go away slowly. You'd hush my panting and make my heart skip more beats as you kissed me. But I reached out and you weren't there.
Where were you Kakuzu?
I sat up in the bed, butt sore from the recent event. "Kakuzu . . .?" I asked, my eyes searching desperately in the dark.
There was no reply.
Louder. "Kakuzu!"
Still just silence.
"Kakuzu, where the fuck are you?" I asked, speaking the way I usually did.
He didn't say anything.
I got up off the bed, walking slowly to the light switch. I turned on the light and after my eyes adjusted to the light, I searched the room. He wasn't there. "You can't just fuck me and leave, jashin dammit . . . where are you, you bastard?"
He never did come back. I have no idea why.
After everything we'd been through. After all those nights. After all those whispers of "I love you" and soothing words. You still left.
I couldn't die; that's what I was told. But my heart could break; that's what I was not told. And I learned it.
the hard way.
--
I have no idea why Kakuzu left. This story has a 99.9 chance of not making sense.