Disclaimer: I don't OWN Lizzie McGuire of course, that's just STUPID and I
don't own Morgan either that character was made up by Amy, I think
*ponders* oh well.
A/N: This whole story was a challenge given by Amy as an example of a challenge so I decided to take her challenge and see if it was really challenging. Don't worry, it is. Anyway, I hope this isn't too kooky and makes a little bit of sense. Although I'm making it a bit out of the ordinary. Don't sue me if the characters are OOC. WARNING: THIS STORY CAN GET VERY FLUFFY!
These were the requirements:
-There must be a conversation between Lizzie and Larry about the events in "Scarlett Larry" (the episode where Larry asked Lizzie out)
-There must be a scene where Kate and Gordo are in the woods together
-Matt must sing a random show tune
-Gordo must hit on Parker at least three times during the story
-Danny Kessler must have a crush on a female character, and ask out
that character
-Jo and Sam must yell at Matt about eating ketchup out of a bottle
-An original male character named Morgan must go up to a female
character and yell, "I am a sexy beast!"
-A scene at a flea market
-Kate and Claire must call Danny Kessler a "womanizing idiot" on
three separate occasions.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Don't talk to me, you womanizing idiot!" Kate yelled at her boyfriend Danny Kessler with her dear friend Claire by her side.
"Yeah, that's exactly what he is Kate, a womanizing idiot! I saw the way you looked at that little whore, Danny. I saw it and Kate deserves better!" Claire cried and she grabbed Kate by the arm and dragged her off somewhere.
"Whoa, trouble in paradise I guess." David Gordon otherwise known as Gordo mused. He and his two best friends had been watching this fight from a distance but they heard every word of it since Danny, Claire, and Kate had been yelling at the top of their lungs.
"The poor girl." Miranda Sanchez shook her head and then began laughing. "She gets what she deserves."
"Right." Elizabeth (Lizzie) McGuire nodded her head in agreement as the three of them walked down the hallway to their next class.
"So, tonight is a study session at Lizzie's house. Clear?" Gordo said.
The two girls nodded and scribbled something down in their furry pink notebooks.
"I'm invited too right Gordo?" Parker McKenzie blushed as she grabbed onto Gordo's arm.
"Let go of me. And yes, you're invited too." He pushed Parker out of the way and punched her on the arm. "See you tonight, sweetie."
As they continued walking down the hall they could hear Parker's muffled whimpers. Lizzie and Miranda, of course, never questioned their abusive relationship seeing as he might start abusing THEM instead.
*~*~*~*~* After School *~*~*~*~*
A low distant grumbling sound protruded from Matt McGuire's stomach as he sat on the couch watching the Fairly Oddparents. "Sheesh, I haven't eaten in forever. Let's see what we have in the cupboard.."
He jumped up from the couch and made his way to the oak cupboards, which normally held all the delicious food and snacks in the McGuire household and opened them all only to find that the cupboards were all bare.
Matt's heart began to beat faster with each cupboard he opened but everything was gone. Gone. Finally he turned slowly to the refrigerator and smiled. Of course, there was always something in the fridge. Always. The blood pounded in his head and made his lip tremble, never in his life had he been so hungry. "Oh, sweet refrigerator! Lend me your goods!" The lack of energy to his brain had made him delirious.
When finally there was only space to open the door in front of him and the refrigerator he took a deep breath, held it in for three seconds, and opened it. Inside was a single, solitary bottle of Heinz tomato ketchup. Matt let out his breath, which was beginning to make his face turn blue. His eyes widened with relief as he twisted off the cap and began drinking it.
The gooey substance slid down his throat easily and filled his stomach at a rapid rate. Just then, the front door opened and Jo McGuire stepped through carrying groceries with the assistance of her husband Sam McGuire. They entered the kitchen and found Matt downing the last few ounces of the ketchup.
"Matt!" Jo McGuire yelled dropped her groceries onto the counter and stomping towards him, snatching the empty bottle from his hands. "What on earth do you think you're doing!?"
"No food. Was hungry. Had-to-eat." Matt's eyes rolled into the back of his head. He suddenly realized that drinking a whole bottle of ketchup was a very bad idea and he chastised himself for being so easily overtaken by hunger.
"You didn't have to drink a whole bottle of ketchup, Matt! You've done some very stupid things in your lifetime, but never anything as stupid as this! I cannot believe you! At least, you could've waited five more minutes until we got home!" Sam McGuire yelled. Everything seemed so drowned out to Matt, he could only hear his heart beating faster and faster and soon his vision was being distorted and instead of two angry parents he saw two happy clowns.
"Wheeeeeee!" Matt yelled to the ceiling, which was now as high and as colorful as a circus tent. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have here today with us Bobo and Zubali the two amazing circus clowns! They are here to perform their most astonishing feat! The highwire!"
"Matt, stop it this instant! Pretending to be delusional won't get you out of punishment this time, young man!" Mrs. McGuire yelled though her voice quavered with nervousness. After all, her son did just drink a whole bottle of ketchup.
"Shush now, Bobo. You must go to the highwire. C'mon, you too Zubali." Matt gestured towards his mother then his father who now had a very puzzled look on his face.
"Matt, I'm not kidding around with you. Cut it out!" She grabbed her son's shoulders and shook him a little but the dazed look on his face did not vacate. "Sam, help me out here!"
Sam, meanwhile, was thinking on something. "Who names a clown Zubali?"
"Sam!" Came Mrs. McGuire's disruptive voice.
"Oh yeah, sorry honey. Um, Matt if you don't stop this act RIGHT now we're going to ground you." He tried to sound threatening but he was still thinking about why someone would honestly name a clown Zubali. Of all the perfect clown names they had to choose that one-.
"What's going on down here? We're trying to study." Came a young girl's voice. The two worried parents turned their attention to Lizzie and a group of friends that stood behind her.
"Yeah, it's Mr. Digg's science test and that guy does not kid around." Said Miranda.
"Well, sorry you guys but Matt just drank a whole bottle of ketchup and he's pretending to be delusional." Jo shrugged.
"That is so awesome!" Cried Parker. Yet, she was soon slapped in the back of the head by Gordo.
"Parker, that wasn't a very nice thing to say." Gordo whispered into her ear. Parker's eyes watered up.
"Well, you didn't have to hit me, Gordo." She hissed back.
"Stop being inconsiderate." He slapped her again and from this force her feet gave out beneath her and she landed on the floor in front of them.
"You know Gordo, if I were in my right mind right now I'd break up with you. Your lucky I'm not!" Parker trembled. Gordo innocently kicked her with the tip of his shoe in her back and she whimpered. Maybe he was going a bit evil.
"C'mon you guys I let you come down here for five minutes to see what all the hoopla was and you end BEING the hoopla! It's my duty as study leader to make sure we actually get studying done!" Larry Tudgeman trudged down the stairs yelling in his sternest voice.
"Shut up Tudgeman. The only reason you're here is because you followed us over and you appointed YOURSELF 'study leader' which I don't think even exists. So go back up the stairs and wait till we're done talking, okay?" Kate scoffed. Tudgeman shot a death glare at her and went back upstairs.
"You shouldn't talk Kate, you practically invited yourself over too." Miranda mumbled.
"Excuse me, Sanchez? Did you just mumble something about ME?" Kate inquired to Miranda who had been rolling her eyes. "Let's take this outside you ungrateful little bi-."
But before Kate got to finish her insult Matt began coughing insanely and was rolling on the floor, clutching his stomach and moaning something. "Ooooh! My stomach! Oh god I think I'm gonna be sick!"
"Oh my god Sam. Hurry let's take him to the hospital!" Jo yelled. As soon as you could say "Merry Christmas" the whole gang was in the McGuire minivan watching Matt, looking at him as if he might explode.
"I hope he'll be alright, the little demon." Miranda sighed. She patted Matt's spiky-haired head and sat back in her seat between Parker and Gordo who were shooting icy glares at one another.
Just then Matt started singing a random show tune. "Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match! Find me a find! Catch me a catch! Matchmaker, matchmaker look through your book and make me a perfect match! Matchmaker, matchmaker I'll bring the veil, you bring the groom, slender and pale-."
"Sam, hurry drive faster the delirium is really beginning to kick in!" Jo yelled. She obviously had not stopped yelling the entire afternoon and her voice was beginning to crack.
"-bring me a ring for I'm longing to be the envy of all I see! For mama, make him a scholar, for mama make him rich as a king! For me, well, I wouldn't holler if he weren't as handsome as anything!" Matt continued.
"Oh god I wish Danny was here." Kate whined. Lizzie eyed her and her lips curled back into that of pure disgust. Lizzie sighed and looked at the vans ceiling, wishing she wasn't stuck between Kate and Tudgeman.
"You know, Lizzie. This kind of reminds me of the chaos and torture that was our past relationship. Too bad things had to die away." Larry mused. Lizzie turned to him and her face turned from disgusted to confused.
"How does THIS remind you of our relationship?" Lizzie gestured to the scene around her: Mrs. McGuire yelling at her husband to go faster, Matt singing that god-awful show tune from Fiddler on the Roof, Parker and Gordo fighting with Miranda between them plugging her ears and singing Britney Spears to pass the time, and Kate sighing and moaning on about Danny Kessler, seeing as how they were going out.
"Well, it doesn't really I just think about it a lot. You and me. I think we could have been something, something better than Kate and Danny or Parker and Gordo. We have chemistry." Tudgeman smiled. Lizzie smiled to at the sincerity of what he just said and her heart was warmed by it.
"Come to think of it, you're right Tudgeman. We do have chemistry. I just wish there was someway we could," she scooted closer to him, "use that chemistry."
"Oh, mon cherrie! There is!" Tudgeman whispered to her and soon they were embraced in a passionate kiss.
A few minutes later, they came out of the kiss, sweaty and red-faced. "This is much better than before." Lizzie breathed.
"Yeah." Tudgeman nodded.
"Okay, that is the GROSSEST thing I've ever seen in my whole life. I can't WAIT to tell Danny what I just saw!" Kate cried eyeing the new couple with complete disgust and shock.
"Kate, I thought you and Danny broke up." Lizzie pointed out.
"What? What makes you think that?" Kate asked, bewildered.
"Um, because you guys had a big blow-out this afternoon about him scoping out some other chick." Lizzie said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Oh god, that? That's nothing. I was just going to call Danny tonight and tell him not to worry about thing. One mustn't be upset over the littlest things, you know." Kate chuckled. "But what gives you the right to snoop in on my love life, McGuire?"
Lizzie was used this change in character every other minute. It was almost as if Kate forgot to be mean sometimes, like it wasn't really her.
"I wasn't snooping, you guys were yelling so loud that I wouldn't be surprised if the people in China knew about you and Danny." Lizzie retorted.
"Even I heard, and I was in the science lab." Tudgeman added. He entwined his hand with Lizzie's.
"What else is new, Tudgeman? You're always doing some sort of studying." Kate snapped. Tudgeman looked the least bit hurt by this.
"You say that like it's a bad thing." Tudgeman smiled.
"At least he knows where the science lab is, Kate." Lizzie snapped back. Tudgeman squeezed her hand.
"Oh my god, Lizzie, don't move! There's a hand in your hand and I think its Tudgeman's. Hold on let me find the flyswatter." Miranda searched around the seats in front of them for the neon flyswatter.
"Cool it, Miranda," Lizzie smiled, "Tudgeman and I are going out now."
"WHAT?!" Miranda's mouth dropped and you could hear her jaw crack. "WHAT?! When did this happen?! Oh my god, Lizzie do you think Matt's delirium is contagious? You're holding hands with LARRY TUDGEMAN, GEEK EXTRAORDINAIRE and saying he is your BOYFRIEND!"
"Don't you think you're being a bit dramatic, Miranda? Tudgeman is a cool guy." Gordo shrugged. Miranda panted and looked back and forth between Larry, Lizzie, and Gordo.
"You've all gone mental." Miranda threw up her hands, turned in her seats, and crossed her arms as if in defeat.
"I still love you." Lizzie cooed to Larry who smiled and laid his head on Lizzie's shoulder.
Ten minutes later they were at the hospital but looked to see that it was, of all things, closed. Jo McGuire nearly blew her head off, not only because the hospital was closed, but because Matt had moved onto a different musical was now pursuing to sing the entire Grease soundtrack.
"Grease is the word, that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning! Grease is the time, is the place, is the motion, now grease is the way we are feeling! Dun duuuun dun nuh nuh nuh nuh-."
"Matt, shut up!" Lizzie yelled to her brother. Just as she yelled this he gave a yelp of pain.
"Oh my insides! They're withering away inside me! Elizabeth! I'm coming to join ya! Elizabeth!" Matt yelled.
"The next hospital is in Big Bear, thirty miles away! Do you think we can make it?" Jo inquired to her husband.
"Buckle your seatbelt, honey. We're going for a wild ride!" Sam yelled and soon they were going about 80 mph down the freeway.
*~*~*~*~* Big Bear *~*~*~*~*
The gang all piled out from the car as soon as they reached the hospital to stretch their legs. They had been in the car for over an hour because the traffic was horrific. They weren't able to go onto the wild ride Mr. McGuire had anticipated and Matt had gotten a little sick on the way, stinking up the car with the smell of moldy ketchup.
"This is disgusting." Kate cried. She started coughing and ran into the woods.
"Oh god, there she goes running off by herself. She's probably going to get lost or something. Be right back." Gordo ran off after her.
Meanwhile, Kate ran until she saw a clearing and what seemed like a million tents and RV's. Her mouth opened wide when she saw, a little more than 20 feet away from her, three people she was not expecting to see.
"Claire?! Ethan?! Danny?!" She called of their names one by one, each name becoming louder than the next. "What are you doing here?"
The three friends, dressed in outdoors clothes, were pitching a tent and looked a bit shocked to see her there.
"We're camping." Ethan smiled. Claire sighed and stared at the back of his head lovingly.
"Well, obviously, but how come I wasn't invited?" Kate said, standing up and crossing her arms. They always did stuff together the four of them: Claire-and-Ethan and Kate-and-Danny.
Danny's expression softened as he slowly approached her. "You're not mad at me?"
Kate avoided his eyes and said, "No."
"We didn't invite you because I honestly thought you'd be mad at me and say no anyway. Besides, I know how much you hate the outdoors." Danny explained. Kate nodded her head in understanding.
"Well, you should know that I don't care where I am. As long as I'm with you." Kate smiled. Danny smiled too, but his smile was less sincere and more urgent. Like he had something to tell her.
"Kate, I have something to tell you-." Surprise, surprise. Though he could not finish his statement because he was interrupted by Gordo's calls.
"Kate! Kate! Kate- oh there you are. You shouldn't run away from us, you're gonna get lost- oh hey, Danny." Gordo smiled. "You too Ethan, Claire."
"Hey Gord-on! I love that Gord-on guy." Ethan said to Claire. She smiled and nodded.
"I know, sweetie, I know."
"Um, hey Gordo. I just need to tell Kate something really quick and then you can have her back. I don't know if she'll want to talk to me anymore." Danny looked ashamed. The last sentence made Kate very suspicious.
"What is it, Danny?" Kate inquired.
"You see-." He started.
"Gordo! Gordo! Oh there you are Gordo, I was looking for you-." Came Parker's voice, but it soon stopped when she saw him standing there with Claire, Ethan, Kate and- Danny. Danny, he was so beautiful with his tan skin and light-colored eyes, his wavy brown hair falling beautifully in his place.
Danny's expression was similar to Parker's and they just stared at each other for what seemed an eternity.
"Danny! Wake up. It's just Parker, tell me what you wanted to tell me." Kate whined, becoming impatient.
"It's just that, Kate. I-I like another girl and, " he stepped away from Kate (who was very wide-eyed and upset), "that girl is Parker."
"What?!" Two voices cried, both belonging to Gordo and Kate. They watched Danny and Parker embrace and hold each other's hands with big goofy grins on their faces.
"This-this is impossible! How can it be-why is it? Parker?!" Kate looked so bewildered it was almost amusing but Gordo just stood there with a knowing look on his face. He sighed and turned to Parker.
"Okay, then it's over, I guess." He sighed again and began walking back towards where he came from. "Bye, Parker."
"Bye, Greg." Parker said without even looking at Gordo. Gordo looked back with a hurt expression and slowly proceeded back towards the woods.
"Alright, fine Danny fine! You know, I didn't know who the girl you were checking out was, but I guess now I know. I stand by what I said before about you, Danny Kessler." Kate said.
"Yeah me too." Claire stared at Danny as if he were scum, because truth be told, Parker did not live up to Claire-and-Kate standards.
"Womanizing idiot!" They both screamed at him. Then Kate said her goodbyes to Claire and Ethan and ran into the woods after Gordo.
"Gordo!" Kate yelled. Of course, she was running and he was slowly trudging along so it was easy for her to catch up. "This sucks."
Gordo stopped dead in his tracks and looked up at the taller, beautiful girl. "You're right, Kate. This really does suck. The sad thing is, I knew she liked him all along."
"You did? How?" Kate questioned.
"I don't know it was just obvious. The way she would stare at him and the way he would stare at her, it was only a matter of time before their feelings were confessed. I just never did anything about it, I hoped maybe it would all go away. I was holding on to Parker because I had just barely gotten over Lizzie and I didn't want to not have anyone to love because I didn't want to kill myself over Lizzie again. I guess that's why I hit Parker so much. I was mad at her." Gordo confessed.
Kate had been listening and understood everything rather clearly now. "Everything's all messed up now. Danny's with Parker, Lizzie's with Tudgeman. It's just too weird."
"You know what would make it even weirder?" Gordo asked looking into Kate's eyes as if he were doing so for the first time in his life.
"What?" Kate breathed. She hoped the answer was what she thought and her hopes were confirmed when Gordo leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her lips.
"You and I. Together. What do you say?" Gordo whispered. Kate's insides did a full 360-degree turned and it didn't take her long to reply with a very confident yes. Despite their social standings they couldn't say no to what was within their hearts. Kate knew she would be looked down upon by Claire for choosing such a shabby boyfriend, but she didn't care anymore.
They walked hand in hand back to the group smiling at one another from the corner of their eyes.
"What the hell?!" Miranda shrieked when she saw the two lovebirds holding hands. "This is the worst day of my life. First Lizzie goes out with Tudgeman, now you're with KATE SANDERS?! The girl we've hated since the 6th grade? Honestly, you guys I don't know what's got into you. Next you're going to say that Parker is going out with Danny Kessler!"
Gordo cleared his throat. "Um, she is. They've liked each other for a while now and they confessed it when we went over there."
"Oh shit." Miranda wore a sour expression and it did not falter for the rest of the day.
It did not even falter when Jo, Sam, and Matt came back saying Matt was going to be alright and they had just gotten his stomach pumped. It did not falter when there was absolute silence in the car (which was a very beautiful thing compared to how it was before) and it did not falter when she finally reached her home.
"What a crazy day." Miranda sighed and fell into a deep slumber.
*~*~*~*~* Next day at school *~*~*~*~*
Miranda had to walk with a crowd of couples. She was in between Larry-and-Lizzie and Gordo-and-Kate and wore a scowl on her face VERY similar to the one she wore the previous day. They met up with Claire-and- Ethan and to make things even worse for Miranda, Claire wasn't even mad that Kate was going out with Gordo. She seemed happy that Kate had gotten over Danny so quickly and applauded the fact that she could pick up a boyfriend so easily, even if it was David Gordon.
The couples all hissed as Danny-and-Parker passed by and you could clearly hear Kate and Claire call him a "womanizing idiot" for the third time. Though Danny-and-Parker did not seem fazed by it and kept on walking along as if no one was even there but the two of them. Now that's love, Miranda thought. She then stomped on that thought and jealousy overtook her.
"So, we're going to the flea market today, right guys?" Tudgeman inquired. Everyone looked at him as if they were insane and looked at each other.
"Why would we go there?" Kate asked Tudgeman snobbishly. She still didn't think too highly of him.
"Well, I know I'm not the one to follow trends or anything but I hear it's the 'place to be if you want to be popular' now." Larry informed them.
They all looked at Claire and Kate, the informants, who looked at each other. "You know," Claire began, "I think I remember someone saying something about that yesterday. Hold on."
At that, Claire took out her cell phone and dialed a number. They watched in anticipation.
"Bridget? Yeah it's me Claire. Hah, I know it's been ages, huh? Well, I was just wondering if you're going to the flea market today? Oh you are? Oh it is? Oh really? With who? You're kidding! No freaking way! Get out of here!-." Claire giggled.
"Claire!" The group yelled.
"Bridget, hun? I'm being kind of rushed right now so I'll have to talk to you later. Alright, love you hun, see you there. Ta ta!" Claire hung up and looked at the group. "Bridget says everyone who is anyone will be there today after school, so obviously my presence must be needed."
"Flea market it is." Kate confirmed and the group walked off to their classes.
Miranda was still in very low spirits as she walked to class with all the couples. She was looking down without any regard to whom or what she might run into, maybe it would kill her if she was lucky enough. And soon enough, she bumped head on into someone.
"Argh!" They both yelled as they fell to the ground. Miranda looked up and couldn't believe her eyes. In front of her was the most beautiful boy she had ever seen in her life. He had vivid green eyes and dark wavy hair and the cutest freckles she had ever seen.
"Hey watch where-." The boy rubbed his head but looked at Miranda and you could tell he felt the same way things Miranda was feeling.
The others had stopped to look at what was going on, but Lizzie, knowing the look on her best friend's face, hurried them to get a move on and none of them dared to go against her will.
"Hi-hi. I'm so sorry." Miranda smiled. She tried to look as sexy as she could, but sitting on the floor with your hair tousled just doesn't work.
"I'm-I'm a sexy beast!" The boy yelled. Miranda's face distorted into a look of confusion as she got up and he soon followed suit.
"What?" Miranda asked.
"I-I." Was all the boy could say and he ran off.
"That was the weirdest thing." Miranda shook her head and went to class.
*~*~*~*~* Flea Market *~*~*~*~*
Miranda was still in her rut when they arrived at the flea market but her spirits were a bit better for she could not stop thinking about the sexy beast, for that is exactly what he was.
The couples were buying each other things and giggling over the some of the silliest things they could find. Like a rubber chicken hat, for instance, which Larry bought for Lizzie as a little joke.
"This is so sickening." Miranda's lips curled as she saw Gordo slip his arms around Kate's waist which looked very odd since Kate was a good four inches taller than him, plus the heels, well anyway it just looked weird.
Claire and Ethan were eating ice cream and dabbing each other's mouths with napkins, making sure they didn't spill on their matching blue shirts. Miranda even saw Danny and Parker walking about, holding each other (almost connected at the waist), with that dazed look as if no one else existed but the two of them. Miranda felt so horrible.
"So, Miranda how's your love life?" Miranda asked herself. "Oh, pretty good you know all of my friends are coupled off and I'm the odd one out, figures considering my luck, right? Right, who wouldn't like to be the only person not cuddling up with their boyfriend/girlfriend? I wouldn't, that is so totally overrated."
Miranda started walking, looking down at the brownish grass under her feet, not considering whom or what she'd bump into. She looked at the cheap Rolex rip-offs and the broken clocks and wondered what the hell she was doing there.
Just then she bumped into yet another body, and the body warmth was so familiar. "Argh!"
She looked up into a pair of vivid green eyes and a tingling sensation overtook her. "We need to stop meeting like this."
The boy opened his mouth like he was trying to say something but he instead he just looked like a fish out of a water. A very cute fish out of water, mind you.
"I already know you're a sexy beast, but how about telling me your real name?" Miranda inquired. The boy gave a sort of sigh of relief and inhaled a new deep breath of fresh air.
"I just get really nervous around girls, is all. I didn't mean to come off as w-weird or anything." The boy smiled nervously.
"Hey, don't worry about it. Besides, I think being weird is awesome." Miranda's lopsided grin grew even lopsided and her eyelids did this weird drooping thing.
The boy laughed. "My name's Morgan Fletcher."
"Miranda Sanchez." She stuck out her hand for him to shake it, and when he did it was like magic consumed her every organ and lived inside her very bones. There were fireworks in front of her eyes and she grew weak. If this is love, it's not that bad, Miranda thought.
THE END
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N #2: Well, sorry this was so freakishly long. I wanted to fit it all into one chapter and I'm not one to write things that are brief. Okay, well review if you wish (please, please do) and tell me what you think!
Is this good enough Amy?
A/N: This whole story was a challenge given by Amy as an example of a challenge so I decided to take her challenge and see if it was really challenging. Don't worry, it is. Anyway, I hope this isn't too kooky and makes a little bit of sense. Although I'm making it a bit out of the ordinary. Don't sue me if the characters are OOC. WARNING: THIS STORY CAN GET VERY FLUFFY!
These were the requirements:
-There must be a conversation between Lizzie and Larry about the events in "Scarlett Larry" (the episode where Larry asked Lizzie out)
-There must be a scene where Kate and Gordo are in the woods together
-Matt must sing a random show tune
-Gordo must hit on Parker at least three times during the story
-Danny Kessler must have a crush on a female character, and ask out
that character
-Jo and Sam must yell at Matt about eating ketchup out of a bottle
-An original male character named Morgan must go up to a female
character and yell, "I am a sexy beast!"
-A scene at a flea market
-Kate and Claire must call Danny Kessler a "womanizing idiot" on
three separate occasions.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Don't talk to me, you womanizing idiot!" Kate yelled at her boyfriend Danny Kessler with her dear friend Claire by her side.
"Yeah, that's exactly what he is Kate, a womanizing idiot! I saw the way you looked at that little whore, Danny. I saw it and Kate deserves better!" Claire cried and she grabbed Kate by the arm and dragged her off somewhere.
"Whoa, trouble in paradise I guess." David Gordon otherwise known as Gordo mused. He and his two best friends had been watching this fight from a distance but they heard every word of it since Danny, Claire, and Kate had been yelling at the top of their lungs.
"The poor girl." Miranda Sanchez shook her head and then began laughing. "She gets what she deserves."
"Right." Elizabeth (Lizzie) McGuire nodded her head in agreement as the three of them walked down the hallway to their next class.
"So, tonight is a study session at Lizzie's house. Clear?" Gordo said.
The two girls nodded and scribbled something down in their furry pink notebooks.
"I'm invited too right Gordo?" Parker McKenzie blushed as she grabbed onto Gordo's arm.
"Let go of me. And yes, you're invited too." He pushed Parker out of the way and punched her on the arm. "See you tonight, sweetie."
As they continued walking down the hall they could hear Parker's muffled whimpers. Lizzie and Miranda, of course, never questioned their abusive relationship seeing as he might start abusing THEM instead.
*~*~*~*~* After School *~*~*~*~*
A low distant grumbling sound protruded from Matt McGuire's stomach as he sat on the couch watching the Fairly Oddparents. "Sheesh, I haven't eaten in forever. Let's see what we have in the cupboard.."
He jumped up from the couch and made his way to the oak cupboards, which normally held all the delicious food and snacks in the McGuire household and opened them all only to find that the cupboards were all bare.
Matt's heart began to beat faster with each cupboard he opened but everything was gone. Gone. Finally he turned slowly to the refrigerator and smiled. Of course, there was always something in the fridge. Always. The blood pounded in his head and made his lip tremble, never in his life had he been so hungry. "Oh, sweet refrigerator! Lend me your goods!" The lack of energy to his brain had made him delirious.
When finally there was only space to open the door in front of him and the refrigerator he took a deep breath, held it in for three seconds, and opened it. Inside was a single, solitary bottle of Heinz tomato ketchup. Matt let out his breath, which was beginning to make his face turn blue. His eyes widened with relief as he twisted off the cap and began drinking it.
The gooey substance slid down his throat easily and filled his stomach at a rapid rate. Just then, the front door opened and Jo McGuire stepped through carrying groceries with the assistance of her husband Sam McGuire. They entered the kitchen and found Matt downing the last few ounces of the ketchup.
"Matt!" Jo McGuire yelled dropped her groceries onto the counter and stomping towards him, snatching the empty bottle from his hands. "What on earth do you think you're doing!?"
"No food. Was hungry. Had-to-eat." Matt's eyes rolled into the back of his head. He suddenly realized that drinking a whole bottle of ketchup was a very bad idea and he chastised himself for being so easily overtaken by hunger.
"You didn't have to drink a whole bottle of ketchup, Matt! You've done some very stupid things in your lifetime, but never anything as stupid as this! I cannot believe you! At least, you could've waited five more minutes until we got home!" Sam McGuire yelled. Everything seemed so drowned out to Matt, he could only hear his heart beating faster and faster and soon his vision was being distorted and instead of two angry parents he saw two happy clowns.
"Wheeeeeee!" Matt yelled to the ceiling, which was now as high and as colorful as a circus tent. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have here today with us Bobo and Zubali the two amazing circus clowns! They are here to perform their most astonishing feat! The highwire!"
"Matt, stop it this instant! Pretending to be delusional won't get you out of punishment this time, young man!" Mrs. McGuire yelled though her voice quavered with nervousness. After all, her son did just drink a whole bottle of ketchup.
"Shush now, Bobo. You must go to the highwire. C'mon, you too Zubali." Matt gestured towards his mother then his father who now had a very puzzled look on his face.
"Matt, I'm not kidding around with you. Cut it out!" She grabbed her son's shoulders and shook him a little but the dazed look on his face did not vacate. "Sam, help me out here!"
Sam, meanwhile, was thinking on something. "Who names a clown Zubali?"
"Sam!" Came Mrs. McGuire's disruptive voice.
"Oh yeah, sorry honey. Um, Matt if you don't stop this act RIGHT now we're going to ground you." He tried to sound threatening but he was still thinking about why someone would honestly name a clown Zubali. Of all the perfect clown names they had to choose that one-.
"What's going on down here? We're trying to study." Came a young girl's voice. The two worried parents turned their attention to Lizzie and a group of friends that stood behind her.
"Yeah, it's Mr. Digg's science test and that guy does not kid around." Said Miranda.
"Well, sorry you guys but Matt just drank a whole bottle of ketchup and he's pretending to be delusional." Jo shrugged.
"That is so awesome!" Cried Parker. Yet, she was soon slapped in the back of the head by Gordo.
"Parker, that wasn't a very nice thing to say." Gordo whispered into her ear. Parker's eyes watered up.
"Well, you didn't have to hit me, Gordo." She hissed back.
"Stop being inconsiderate." He slapped her again and from this force her feet gave out beneath her and she landed on the floor in front of them.
"You know Gordo, if I were in my right mind right now I'd break up with you. Your lucky I'm not!" Parker trembled. Gordo innocently kicked her with the tip of his shoe in her back and she whimpered. Maybe he was going a bit evil.
"C'mon you guys I let you come down here for five minutes to see what all the hoopla was and you end BEING the hoopla! It's my duty as study leader to make sure we actually get studying done!" Larry Tudgeman trudged down the stairs yelling in his sternest voice.
"Shut up Tudgeman. The only reason you're here is because you followed us over and you appointed YOURSELF 'study leader' which I don't think even exists. So go back up the stairs and wait till we're done talking, okay?" Kate scoffed. Tudgeman shot a death glare at her and went back upstairs.
"You shouldn't talk Kate, you practically invited yourself over too." Miranda mumbled.
"Excuse me, Sanchez? Did you just mumble something about ME?" Kate inquired to Miranda who had been rolling her eyes. "Let's take this outside you ungrateful little bi-."
But before Kate got to finish her insult Matt began coughing insanely and was rolling on the floor, clutching his stomach and moaning something. "Ooooh! My stomach! Oh god I think I'm gonna be sick!"
"Oh my god Sam. Hurry let's take him to the hospital!" Jo yelled. As soon as you could say "Merry Christmas" the whole gang was in the McGuire minivan watching Matt, looking at him as if he might explode.
"I hope he'll be alright, the little demon." Miranda sighed. She patted Matt's spiky-haired head and sat back in her seat between Parker and Gordo who were shooting icy glares at one another.
Just then Matt started singing a random show tune. "Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match! Find me a find! Catch me a catch! Matchmaker, matchmaker look through your book and make me a perfect match! Matchmaker, matchmaker I'll bring the veil, you bring the groom, slender and pale-."
"Sam, hurry drive faster the delirium is really beginning to kick in!" Jo yelled. She obviously had not stopped yelling the entire afternoon and her voice was beginning to crack.
"-bring me a ring for I'm longing to be the envy of all I see! For mama, make him a scholar, for mama make him rich as a king! For me, well, I wouldn't holler if he weren't as handsome as anything!" Matt continued.
"Oh god I wish Danny was here." Kate whined. Lizzie eyed her and her lips curled back into that of pure disgust. Lizzie sighed and looked at the vans ceiling, wishing she wasn't stuck between Kate and Tudgeman.
"You know, Lizzie. This kind of reminds me of the chaos and torture that was our past relationship. Too bad things had to die away." Larry mused. Lizzie turned to him and her face turned from disgusted to confused.
"How does THIS remind you of our relationship?" Lizzie gestured to the scene around her: Mrs. McGuire yelling at her husband to go faster, Matt singing that god-awful show tune from Fiddler on the Roof, Parker and Gordo fighting with Miranda between them plugging her ears and singing Britney Spears to pass the time, and Kate sighing and moaning on about Danny Kessler, seeing as how they were going out.
"Well, it doesn't really I just think about it a lot. You and me. I think we could have been something, something better than Kate and Danny or Parker and Gordo. We have chemistry." Tudgeman smiled. Lizzie smiled to at the sincerity of what he just said and her heart was warmed by it.
"Come to think of it, you're right Tudgeman. We do have chemistry. I just wish there was someway we could," she scooted closer to him, "use that chemistry."
"Oh, mon cherrie! There is!" Tudgeman whispered to her and soon they were embraced in a passionate kiss.
A few minutes later, they came out of the kiss, sweaty and red-faced. "This is much better than before." Lizzie breathed.
"Yeah." Tudgeman nodded.
"Okay, that is the GROSSEST thing I've ever seen in my whole life. I can't WAIT to tell Danny what I just saw!" Kate cried eyeing the new couple with complete disgust and shock.
"Kate, I thought you and Danny broke up." Lizzie pointed out.
"What? What makes you think that?" Kate asked, bewildered.
"Um, because you guys had a big blow-out this afternoon about him scoping out some other chick." Lizzie said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Oh god, that? That's nothing. I was just going to call Danny tonight and tell him not to worry about thing. One mustn't be upset over the littlest things, you know." Kate chuckled. "But what gives you the right to snoop in on my love life, McGuire?"
Lizzie was used this change in character every other minute. It was almost as if Kate forgot to be mean sometimes, like it wasn't really her.
"I wasn't snooping, you guys were yelling so loud that I wouldn't be surprised if the people in China knew about you and Danny." Lizzie retorted.
"Even I heard, and I was in the science lab." Tudgeman added. He entwined his hand with Lizzie's.
"What else is new, Tudgeman? You're always doing some sort of studying." Kate snapped. Tudgeman looked the least bit hurt by this.
"You say that like it's a bad thing." Tudgeman smiled.
"At least he knows where the science lab is, Kate." Lizzie snapped back. Tudgeman squeezed her hand.
"Oh my god, Lizzie, don't move! There's a hand in your hand and I think its Tudgeman's. Hold on let me find the flyswatter." Miranda searched around the seats in front of them for the neon flyswatter.
"Cool it, Miranda," Lizzie smiled, "Tudgeman and I are going out now."
"WHAT?!" Miranda's mouth dropped and you could hear her jaw crack. "WHAT?! When did this happen?! Oh my god, Lizzie do you think Matt's delirium is contagious? You're holding hands with LARRY TUDGEMAN, GEEK EXTRAORDINAIRE and saying he is your BOYFRIEND!"
"Don't you think you're being a bit dramatic, Miranda? Tudgeman is a cool guy." Gordo shrugged. Miranda panted and looked back and forth between Larry, Lizzie, and Gordo.
"You've all gone mental." Miranda threw up her hands, turned in her seats, and crossed her arms as if in defeat.
"I still love you." Lizzie cooed to Larry who smiled and laid his head on Lizzie's shoulder.
Ten minutes later they were at the hospital but looked to see that it was, of all things, closed. Jo McGuire nearly blew her head off, not only because the hospital was closed, but because Matt had moved onto a different musical was now pursuing to sing the entire Grease soundtrack.
"Grease is the word, that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning! Grease is the time, is the place, is the motion, now grease is the way we are feeling! Dun duuuun dun nuh nuh nuh nuh-."
"Matt, shut up!" Lizzie yelled to her brother. Just as she yelled this he gave a yelp of pain.
"Oh my insides! They're withering away inside me! Elizabeth! I'm coming to join ya! Elizabeth!" Matt yelled.
"The next hospital is in Big Bear, thirty miles away! Do you think we can make it?" Jo inquired to her husband.
"Buckle your seatbelt, honey. We're going for a wild ride!" Sam yelled and soon they were going about 80 mph down the freeway.
*~*~*~*~* Big Bear *~*~*~*~*
The gang all piled out from the car as soon as they reached the hospital to stretch their legs. They had been in the car for over an hour because the traffic was horrific. They weren't able to go onto the wild ride Mr. McGuire had anticipated and Matt had gotten a little sick on the way, stinking up the car with the smell of moldy ketchup.
"This is disgusting." Kate cried. She started coughing and ran into the woods.
"Oh god, there she goes running off by herself. She's probably going to get lost or something. Be right back." Gordo ran off after her.
Meanwhile, Kate ran until she saw a clearing and what seemed like a million tents and RV's. Her mouth opened wide when she saw, a little more than 20 feet away from her, three people she was not expecting to see.
"Claire?! Ethan?! Danny?!" She called of their names one by one, each name becoming louder than the next. "What are you doing here?"
The three friends, dressed in outdoors clothes, were pitching a tent and looked a bit shocked to see her there.
"We're camping." Ethan smiled. Claire sighed and stared at the back of his head lovingly.
"Well, obviously, but how come I wasn't invited?" Kate said, standing up and crossing her arms. They always did stuff together the four of them: Claire-and-Ethan and Kate-and-Danny.
Danny's expression softened as he slowly approached her. "You're not mad at me?"
Kate avoided his eyes and said, "No."
"We didn't invite you because I honestly thought you'd be mad at me and say no anyway. Besides, I know how much you hate the outdoors." Danny explained. Kate nodded her head in understanding.
"Well, you should know that I don't care where I am. As long as I'm with you." Kate smiled. Danny smiled too, but his smile was less sincere and more urgent. Like he had something to tell her.
"Kate, I have something to tell you-." Surprise, surprise. Though he could not finish his statement because he was interrupted by Gordo's calls.
"Kate! Kate! Kate- oh there you are. You shouldn't run away from us, you're gonna get lost- oh hey, Danny." Gordo smiled. "You too Ethan, Claire."
"Hey Gord-on! I love that Gord-on guy." Ethan said to Claire. She smiled and nodded.
"I know, sweetie, I know."
"Um, hey Gordo. I just need to tell Kate something really quick and then you can have her back. I don't know if she'll want to talk to me anymore." Danny looked ashamed. The last sentence made Kate very suspicious.
"What is it, Danny?" Kate inquired.
"You see-." He started.
"Gordo! Gordo! Oh there you are Gordo, I was looking for you-." Came Parker's voice, but it soon stopped when she saw him standing there with Claire, Ethan, Kate and- Danny. Danny, he was so beautiful with his tan skin and light-colored eyes, his wavy brown hair falling beautifully in his place.
Danny's expression was similar to Parker's and they just stared at each other for what seemed an eternity.
"Danny! Wake up. It's just Parker, tell me what you wanted to tell me." Kate whined, becoming impatient.
"It's just that, Kate. I-I like another girl and, " he stepped away from Kate (who was very wide-eyed and upset), "that girl is Parker."
"What?!" Two voices cried, both belonging to Gordo and Kate. They watched Danny and Parker embrace and hold each other's hands with big goofy grins on their faces.
"This-this is impossible! How can it be-why is it? Parker?!" Kate looked so bewildered it was almost amusing but Gordo just stood there with a knowing look on his face. He sighed and turned to Parker.
"Okay, then it's over, I guess." He sighed again and began walking back towards where he came from. "Bye, Parker."
"Bye, Greg." Parker said without even looking at Gordo. Gordo looked back with a hurt expression and slowly proceeded back towards the woods.
"Alright, fine Danny fine! You know, I didn't know who the girl you were checking out was, but I guess now I know. I stand by what I said before about you, Danny Kessler." Kate said.
"Yeah me too." Claire stared at Danny as if he were scum, because truth be told, Parker did not live up to Claire-and-Kate standards.
"Womanizing idiot!" They both screamed at him. Then Kate said her goodbyes to Claire and Ethan and ran into the woods after Gordo.
"Gordo!" Kate yelled. Of course, she was running and he was slowly trudging along so it was easy for her to catch up. "This sucks."
Gordo stopped dead in his tracks and looked up at the taller, beautiful girl. "You're right, Kate. This really does suck. The sad thing is, I knew she liked him all along."
"You did? How?" Kate questioned.
"I don't know it was just obvious. The way she would stare at him and the way he would stare at her, it was only a matter of time before their feelings were confessed. I just never did anything about it, I hoped maybe it would all go away. I was holding on to Parker because I had just barely gotten over Lizzie and I didn't want to not have anyone to love because I didn't want to kill myself over Lizzie again. I guess that's why I hit Parker so much. I was mad at her." Gordo confessed.
Kate had been listening and understood everything rather clearly now. "Everything's all messed up now. Danny's with Parker, Lizzie's with Tudgeman. It's just too weird."
"You know what would make it even weirder?" Gordo asked looking into Kate's eyes as if he were doing so for the first time in his life.
"What?" Kate breathed. She hoped the answer was what she thought and her hopes were confirmed when Gordo leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her lips.
"You and I. Together. What do you say?" Gordo whispered. Kate's insides did a full 360-degree turned and it didn't take her long to reply with a very confident yes. Despite their social standings they couldn't say no to what was within their hearts. Kate knew she would be looked down upon by Claire for choosing such a shabby boyfriend, but she didn't care anymore.
They walked hand in hand back to the group smiling at one another from the corner of their eyes.
"What the hell?!" Miranda shrieked when she saw the two lovebirds holding hands. "This is the worst day of my life. First Lizzie goes out with Tudgeman, now you're with KATE SANDERS?! The girl we've hated since the 6th grade? Honestly, you guys I don't know what's got into you. Next you're going to say that Parker is going out with Danny Kessler!"
Gordo cleared his throat. "Um, she is. They've liked each other for a while now and they confessed it when we went over there."
"Oh shit." Miranda wore a sour expression and it did not falter for the rest of the day.
It did not even falter when Jo, Sam, and Matt came back saying Matt was going to be alright and they had just gotten his stomach pumped. It did not falter when there was absolute silence in the car (which was a very beautiful thing compared to how it was before) and it did not falter when she finally reached her home.
"What a crazy day." Miranda sighed and fell into a deep slumber.
*~*~*~*~* Next day at school *~*~*~*~*
Miranda had to walk with a crowd of couples. She was in between Larry-and-Lizzie and Gordo-and-Kate and wore a scowl on her face VERY similar to the one she wore the previous day. They met up with Claire-and- Ethan and to make things even worse for Miranda, Claire wasn't even mad that Kate was going out with Gordo. She seemed happy that Kate had gotten over Danny so quickly and applauded the fact that she could pick up a boyfriend so easily, even if it was David Gordon.
The couples all hissed as Danny-and-Parker passed by and you could clearly hear Kate and Claire call him a "womanizing idiot" for the third time. Though Danny-and-Parker did not seem fazed by it and kept on walking along as if no one was even there but the two of them. Now that's love, Miranda thought. She then stomped on that thought and jealousy overtook her.
"So, we're going to the flea market today, right guys?" Tudgeman inquired. Everyone looked at him as if they were insane and looked at each other.
"Why would we go there?" Kate asked Tudgeman snobbishly. She still didn't think too highly of him.
"Well, I know I'm not the one to follow trends or anything but I hear it's the 'place to be if you want to be popular' now." Larry informed them.
They all looked at Claire and Kate, the informants, who looked at each other. "You know," Claire began, "I think I remember someone saying something about that yesterday. Hold on."
At that, Claire took out her cell phone and dialed a number. They watched in anticipation.
"Bridget? Yeah it's me Claire. Hah, I know it's been ages, huh? Well, I was just wondering if you're going to the flea market today? Oh you are? Oh it is? Oh really? With who? You're kidding! No freaking way! Get out of here!-." Claire giggled.
"Claire!" The group yelled.
"Bridget, hun? I'm being kind of rushed right now so I'll have to talk to you later. Alright, love you hun, see you there. Ta ta!" Claire hung up and looked at the group. "Bridget says everyone who is anyone will be there today after school, so obviously my presence must be needed."
"Flea market it is." Kate confirmed and the group walked off to their classes.
Miranda was still in very low spirits as she walked to class with all the couples. She was looking down without any regard to whom or what she might run into, maybe it would kill her if she was lucky enough. And soon enough, she bumped head on into someone.
"Argh!" They both yelled as they fell to the ground. Miranda looked up and couldn't believe her eyes. In front of her was the most beautiful boy she had ever seen in her life. He had vivid green eyes and dark wavy hair and the cutest freckles she had ever seen.
"Hey watch where-." The boy rubbed his head but looked at Miranda and you could tell he felt the same way things Miranda was feeling.
The others had stopped to look at what was going on, but Lizzie, knowing the look on her best friend's face, hurried them to get a move on and none of them dared to go against her will.
"Hi-hi. I'm so sorry." Miranda smiled. She tried to look as sexy as she could, but sitting on the floor with your hair tousled just doesn't work.
"I'm-I'm a sexy beast!" The boy yelled. Miranda's face distorted into a look of confusion as she got up and he soon followed suit.
"What?" Miranda asked.
"I-I." Was all the boy could say and he ran off.
"That was the weirdest thing." Miranda shook her head and went to class.
*~*~*~*~* Flea Market *~*~*~*~*
Miranda was still in her rut when they arrived at the flea market but her spirits were a bit better for she could not stop thinking about the sexy beast, for that is exactly what he was.
The couples were buying each other things and giggling over the some of the silliest things they could find. Like a rubber chicken hat, for instance, which Larry bought for Lizzie as a little joke.
"This is so sickening." Miranda's lips curled as she saw Gordo slip his arms around Kate's waist which looked very odd since Kate was a good four inches taller than him, plus the heels, well anyway it just looked weird.
Claire and Ethan were eating ice cream and dabbing each other's mouths with napkins, making sure they didn't spill on their matching blue shirts. Miranda even saw Danny and Parker walking about, holding each other (almost connected at the waist), with that dazed look as if no one else existed but the two of them. Miranda felt so horrible.
"So, Miranda how's your love life?" Miranda asked herself. "Oh, pretty good you know all of my friends are coupled off and I'm the odd one out, figures considering my luck, right? Right, who wouldn't like to be the only person not cuddling up with their boyfriend/girlfriend? I wouldn't, that is so totally overrated."
Miranda started walking, looking down at the brownish grass under her feet, not considering whom or what she'd bump into. She looked at the cheap Rolex rip-offs and the broken clocks and wondered what the hell she was doing there.
Just then she bumped into yet another body, and the body warmth was so familiar. "Argh!"
She looked up into a pair of vivid green eyes and a tingling sensation overtook her. "We need to stop meeting like this."
The boy opened his mouth like he was trying to say something but he instead he just looked like a fish out of a water. A very cute fish out of water, mind you.
"I already know you're a sexy beast, but how about telling me your real name?" Miranda inquired. The boy gave a sort of sigh of relief and inhaled a new deep breath of fresh air.
"I just get really nervous around girls, is all. I didn't mean to come off as w-weird or anything." The boy smiled nervously.
"Hey, don't worry about it. Besides, I think being weird is awesome." Miranda's lopsided grin grew even lopsided and her eyelids did this weird drooping thing.
The boy laughed. "My name's Morgan Fletcher."
"Miranda Sanchez." She stuck out her hand for him to shake it, and when he did it was like magic consumed her every organ and lived inside her very bones. There were fireworks in front of her eyes and she grew weak. If this is love, it's not that bad, Miranda thought.
THE END
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A/N #2: Well, sorry this was so freakishly long. I wanted to fit it all into one chapter and I'm not one to write things that are brief. Okay, well review if you wish (please, please do) and tell me what you think!
Is this good enough Amy?