Just a little dialogue exercise I wrote a while back that has been sitting on my hard drive for months. I finally decided to post it. Enjoy, and review if you enjoyed it! (or even if you didn't, I'd just love to hear what you thought)

Spoilers: Through episode 3.01 Do-Over

Disclaimer: 30 Rock and its universe belong to Tina Fey and NBC Universal. The title comes from a U2 song (by the same name). If you haven't heard the song, go listen to it because it describes Jack and Liz perfectly. Anyway, I own nothing.

"Lemon."

"…"

"Lemon."

"…"

"Lemon."

"What is it now, Jack?"

"Thank you."

"For what? For going along with your weird soap opera scheme?"

"Yes."

"Well, as I have said before, I've always got your back. Despite the fact that you seem to like to use me as your fake girlfriend-"

"In my defense, I have only ever done so with the best of intentions."

"Making your ex jealous and getting ahead at work? Really? Those are the best intentions?"

"Yes."

"You know, I don't even understand why I consistently cover for you. Admit it- you would be in it up to here without me."

"Don't flatter yourself, Lemon. I climbed the corporate ladder for 22 years without your assistance- I certainly don't need it now."

"Fine, maybe I should have left you to Kathy. You'd have been begging for me to come in and play the jealous girlfriend in 3 minutes tops."

"First, Donaghys never have to beg. But second, I must commend you for such a believable performance. Your idea to slap me across the face and storm out in a fit of jealous rage at the end was inspired. It gave us both the perfect exit strategy, and it sufficiently distracted Kathy from the fact that we are not at all romantically interested in each other. Well done, Lemon."

"Yeah, well it looks like I'm getting pretty good at the 'fake girlfriend' thing. I can now play both the charming live-in girlfriend and the jealous girlfriend. Ooh, next time can I be the freaky ex? Or maybe the girlfriend who's all buddy-buddy with the ex when you're around the man, but then makes creepy threats to the ex when the man isn't looking?"

"Don't be ridiculous. And you do realize that you have just described Bianca perfectly?"

"Oh, nerds, you're right. Okay, scratch that. But seriously, this is kind of fun. It reminds me why I used to do improv. It might be more fun if I didn't have to pretend to be your girlfriend all the time, though. Maybe we can come up with something else. Any ideas?"

"You're the creative one."

"Hmm, I'll work on it. So, please tell me you're done with this whole having-sex-with-Kathy thing, because that was just way too gross."

"Yes, I believe that I have successfully secured my previous position, making sex with Kathy completely unnecessary."

"How do you figure you've got your old job back?"

"Well, Kathy just agreed to us back there that she would hire me to assist her in all business matters. I get her to sign the paperwork, and then, in keeping with the idea of giving her a soap opera, I tell her that it never could have worked between us because the love I feel for you is far too strong. I apologize to her for giving her false hope, but that you are truly the love of my life, and that I have realized that I cannot live another day without you being the only woman in my life."

"Okay, that just sounds weird."

"It's part of the act, Lemon."

"That doesn't mean it can't sound weird."

"Anyway, thank you again. I'll leave you to take care of… that."

"What? Oh, come on, Jack, I've got this completely under control. As a matter of fact, this might soon be the mother of a cute little Chinese baby, so I'd say this is doing just fine."

"Sure."

"Bye, Jack."

"Goodbye, Lemon."

End.