'I can reach the sky.. without being dragged down,
I can run forever while... I try to hold on,
But if you'll be there where I drown,
I don't want to hold your hand
It's quicker than quicksand,
and you just won't make it.'
- Lillix "Quicksand"
Music.
I remember music. My family used to play it. Even I used to listen to music. I don't anymore, I have no time. Music isn't important, when it comes to ninjas. It just wastes time. Training time.
"Whoever you are, leave." I'm sure I feel a presence. I know exactly who it is, too, but he can't know that. I won't let him. I'll never tell him that I memorized the sound of his footsteps. I'll never tell him that I know the way his chakra feels over anyone else's. Never. He will never know.
"Pfft. Whatever then." He's walking away. I know it. Inwardly, I'm wincing. 'Don't leave...' I think, but then, I know he's doing what I said. I know as well as he does that I wanted him to persist.... but everything I say makes him get angry. I don't like it when he gets angry at me, but I need to lie... I need to pretend I hate him.
Ninjas have no time for love.
Oh yes, I love him. A lot. But I know that he hates me, that even if the 0.0000001% chance that he might like me a little- just a little- were to come true, that we would not love, we couldn't. It'd just be..... nonexistent.
To him, my emotions already are nonexistent. I can't love him, all those I love die. I can't, I never will admit to him... to Naruto... that I love him.
"Dobe, why are you back?" I don't open my eyes. I sit here and feel myself bleeding. Yes, bleeding. There is a cloth touched to my wounds, to my stomach....
"Because you'll die if it stays like this." Naruto's matured a lot since I met him, and he knows when to do what... but he is still the dobe I fell in love with. I open my eyes, and look over to see the material of his shirt ripped. The remains of this shirt are on the ground- he is topless. This only makes him look more beautiful. I squint my eyes shut again.
"Sorry, did that hurt?" He presses harder, as if to tease me.
"Iya, Baka. The sun blinded me." I force my eyes open to prove him wrong. But maybe it did hurt me, to feel my love for him.
"Okay, whatever. The bleeding stopped. You can stop looking at me now." He gets up and dusts himself off, turning to walk away.
"Wait, dobe, help me up!" I bark an order at him, just to tease. He grumbles and turns around, grabbing my outstretched hand and pulling unexpectantly hard. I am flung up, and down again in the opposite direction. I slam to the ground over my wound and wince.
"What, not strong enough to take a little pain?" He walks away, and I feel I must have made him too angry.
"I'm not the weak one, dead-last." The words come out of my mouth before I think, and I stand up quickly. He stops, his fists clenched. He turns around halfway, and I see his expression. He is crying.
"I....." He turns around fully. "Am NOT weak!!!" He runs at me, and I see his fist coming towards my face before anything else. I feel pain- my prain slows down as I process what is going on.
I'm on my way down. There is some blood... but mostly there is tears. Mine. I haven't cried since I was a child. But there are my tears, right in front of me. I hit the ground and keep sobbing, for one reason.
He hates me.
He always will.
He always has.
He hates me.
"You hate me... don't you, Naruto?" I know I am not talking to myself, for I feel him standing near me. I am still crying. But he is silent, and I hear him take a breath.
"Don't you!?" I almost yell, and he is still silent.
"Because... because I don't want you to hate me! I don't want to hate you, I never could! Not if I tried, Naruto!!! I love you, that's it!... I love you... I love... you..." I'm crying harder now, because I know nothing will ever be the same. I screwed up. "And I'm so damn sorry that I said those things... I didn't think that ninjas had time for love. But now I know, Naruto, that if loving you means I can't be a ninja, then SCREW BEING A NINJA!!" I'm screaming.
He takes another breath, and starts to speak, quietly.
"Of course ninjas can love. I've actually loved someone for a long time." He walks towards me calmly and helps me up, his grip lighter and for some reason, I trust him not to shove me around. I think we both realize what he was getting at just now... and I just stare in numb silence. The tears are still falling, but now because all the barriers of hate I've built up are crumbling.
"I..." he pauses and lifts up my chin, so that I'm looking him straight in his bright blue eyes. "Love you, Sasuke, so don't cry."
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A/N - First SasuNaru! Wiiiieeeee!!!!! As with the lyrics at the beginning of the story, I think they sort of suit what Sasuke feels... or maybe not. Review plz ^^
I can run forever while... I try to hold on,
But if you'll be there where I drown,
I don't want to hold your hand
It's quicker than quicksand,
and you just won't make it.'
- Lillix "Quicksand"
Music.
I remember music. My family used to play it. Even I used to listen to music. I don't anymore, I have no time. Music isn't important, when it comes to ninjas. It just wastes time. Training time.
"Whoever you are, leave." I'm sure I feel a presence. I know exactly who it is, too, but he can't know that. I won't let him. I'll never tell him that I memorized the sound of his footsteps. I'll never tell him that I know the way his chakra feels over anyone else's. Never. He will never know.
"Pfft. Whatever then." He's walking away. I know it. Inwardly, I'm wincing. 'Don't leave...' I think, but then, I know he's doing what I said. I know as well as he does that I wanted him to persist.... but everything I say makes him get angry. I don't like it when he gets angry at me, but I need to lie... I need to pretend I hate him.
Ninjas have no time for love.
Oh yes, I love him. A lot. But I know that he hates me, that even if the 0.0000001% chance that he might like me a little- just a little- were to come true, that we would not love, we couldn't. It'd just be..... nonexistent.
To him, my emotions already are nonexistent. I can't love him, all those I love die. I can't, I never will admit to him... to Naruto... that I love him.
"Dobe, why are you back?" I don't open my eyes. I sit here and feel myself bleeding. Yes, bleeding. There is a cloth touched to my wounds, to my stomach....
"Because you'll die if it stays like this." Naruto's matured a lot since I met him, and he knows when to do what... but he is still the dobe I fell in love with. I open my eyes, and look over to see the material of his shirt ripped. The remains of this shirt are on the ground- he is topless. This only makes him look more beautiful. I squint my eyes shut again.
"Sorry, did that hurt?" He presses harder, as if to tease me.
"Iya, Baka. The sun blinded me." I force my eyes open to prove him wrong. But maybe it did hurt me, to feel my love for him.
"Okay, whatever. The bleeding stopped. You can stop looking at me now." He gets up and dusts himself off, turning to walk away.
"Wait, dobe, help me up!" I bark an order at him, just to tease. He grumbles and turns around, grabbing my outstretched hand and pulling unexpectantly hard. I am flung up, and down again in the opposite direction. I slam to the ground over my wound and wince.
"What, not strong enough to take a little pain?" He walks away, and I feel I must have made him too angry.
"I'm not the weak one, dead-last." The words come out of my mouth before I think, and I stand up quickly. He stops, his fists clenched. He turns around halfway, and I see his expression. He is crying.
"I....." He turns around fully. "Am NOT weak!!!" He runs at me, and I see his fist coming towards my face before anything else. I feel pain- my prain slows down as I process what is going on.
I'm on my way down. There is some blood... but mostly there is tears. Mine. I haven't cried since I was a child. But there are my tears, right in front of me. I hit the ground and keep sobbing, for one reason.
He hates me.
He always will.
He always has.
He hates me.
"You hate me... don't you, Naruto?" I know I am not talking to myself, for I feel him standing near me. I am still crying. But he is silent, and I hear him take a breath.
"Don't you!?" I almost yell, and he is still silent.
"Because... because I don't want you to hate me! I don't want to hate you, I never could! Not if I tried, Naruto!!! I love you, that's it!... I love you... I love... you..." I'm crying harder now, because I know nothing will ever be the same. I screwed up. "And I'm so damn sorry that I said those things... I didn't think that ninjas had time for love. But now I know, Naruto, that if loving you means I can't be a ninja, then SCREW BEING A NINJA!!" I'm screaming.
He takes another breath, and starts to speak, quietly.
"Of course ninjas can love. I've actually loved someone for a long time." He walks towards me calmly and helps me up, his grip lighter and for some reason, I trust him not to shove me around. I think we both realize what he was getting at just now... and I just stare in numb silence. The tears are still falling, but now because all the barriers of hate I've built up are crumbling.
"I..." he pauses and lifts up my chin, so that I'm looking him straight in his bright blue eyes. "Love you, Sasuke, so don't cry."
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A/N - First SasuNaru! Wiiiieeeee!!!!! As with the lyrics at the beginning of the story, I think they sort of suit what Sasuke feels... or maybe not. Review plz ^^