This, people, this right here is why you NEVER EVER EVER give Zuria music. Because she will get ideas for pointless fanfics.

Anyway, this is sorta kinda based on Another Postcard by one of my favorite bands, Barenaked Ladies.

It was a Wednesday when it all started. "Hey, Connor," Travis told his brother, a mischievous grin on his already mischievous face. "Guess what I found!" He held up a package of postcards—postcards covered in chimpanzees.

Connor grinned, eyes widening. They'd been wanting to do this for ages, ever since they heard about it in a song. "Oh, please, please, please let's do Katie!"

"Naw, she's kill us," Travis replied. "What about Percabeth?"

"Percabeth?" Connor asked. "Are you on drugs? She'd kill us and he'd follow her blindly. What about Mr. D?"

"No go," Travis said. "Fine, we do this the old fashioned way."

Connor and Travis kneeled in front of the CD-player, and pressed shuffle. Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer began to play.

They both grinned identically. They couldn't believe they had overlooked this. "Aphrodite Cabin!"

They quickly wrote "You're ugly," "You are so freaking gay," and "Get some good make up for once," and stuff like that on the postcards, distributing them every few weeks at the Aphrodite Cabin until they were gone.

When they were, in fact, gone, the Aphrodite kids came up with their own plan to bring the "anonymous" pranksters into the light. They found the perfect song, planning to sing it at campfire in a few weeks.

It wasn't long before they were actually ready:

You can't imagine so many monkeys in the daily mail
All of them coming anonymously so they leave no trail
I never thought I'd have an admirer from overseas
But someone is sending me stationary filled with chimpanzees.

Some chimps in swimsuits, some chimps are swinging from a vine
Some chimps in jackboots, some chimps that wish they could be mine.
Starsky and Hutch chimps, a chimp who's sitting on the can
A pair of Dutch chimps who send their love from Amsterdam.

[CHORUS (x2):]
Another postcard with chimpanzees
And every one is addressed to me.

If I had to guess, I'd say the monkey-sender thinks it's great
He's sending me, maybe she's sending me just to see me get irate
I'm losing sleep - and it's gonna be keeping me up all night
I thought it was funny, but now I've got money on a monkey fight.

Some chimps in hard hats, chimps a-working on a chain gang
Some chimps who love cats, burning rubber in a Mustang
A birthday-wishing chimp, a chimp in black like a goth
A goin' fishin' chimp, a British chimp in the bath.

[CHORUS (x2)]

Somehow they followed me even though I packed and moved my home
No matter what, they come and they come they won't leave me alone
Another monkey in the mail could make me lose my mind
But look at me shuffling through the stack until I finally find

Some chimps in swimsuits
Some chimps in Jackboots
Some chimps in hard hats
Some chimps who love cats
I've got some shaved chimps; that's chimps devoid of any hair
I've got depraved chimps dressed up in women's underwear.

Another postcard with chimpanzees
And every one is addressed to me.
Every one is, every one is, every one is addressed to me.
Every one is, every one is, every one is addressed to me.

[CHORUS (x4)]

Some chimps in swimsuits, Some chimps in Jackboots
Some chimps in hard hats, Some chimps who love cats
I've got some shaved chimps; that's chimps devoid of any hair
I've got depraved chimps dressed up in women's underwear.
Starsky and Hutch chimps, a chimp who's sitting on the can
A pair of Dutch chimps who send their love from Amsterdam.
Some chimps in Mustangs, Some chimps in chain gangs
I got a birthday wishin' chimp and I got the goin' fishin' chimp

Travis and Connor instantly slapped high fives. "Yes!" Connor called. "We got a song out of it!" Then they realized what they'd done. "Oh, shoot," Travis said.

Drew gave them an evil grin, planning exactly how she would get back at them.