There is No Questhelper in Real Life
AN:
This story is a "jumping on point" for the Thieves Guild series. If you haven't read any of the previous stories, that's okay, you'll still be able to follow this one, no problem. This story begins partway through King of Thieves. Rogue and Gambit will make occasional appearances in the story, but for the first time ever, they're not actually the stars of one of my stories. I know, it's shocking.
There will be regular references to World of Warcraft. As always, I will do my best to ensure that those who are not familiar with the game do not get confused. For those who are familiar with WoW, this story occurs prior to the Cataclysm expansion pack. Finally, it should be noted that I'm an altaholic, I've only used Vent once, and I haven't played any endgame instances or raids. I apologise in advance for any mistakes.
Chapter 1
The blue smoke cleared and Kurt found himself standing outside of the gates to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. The school had certainly changed since he had last been there over five years ago now. In addition to the mansion itself, there were a number of additional buildings: more dormitories and classrooms, he supposed. Kurt rang the bell with some satisfaction of teleporting just within arm's reach of it.
"Hi Kurt," came Storm's voice down the line, "just let yourself in."
Kurt chuckled and teleported onto the grounds and to the front door. He was about to open it, when Storm opened it for him.
"Kurt," she said warmly as he put down his bag.
"Hi Storm," Kurt replied, and gave her a hug. "It's good to see you."
"It's good to see you too," Storm replied. "I'm glad you've come to join us, but you were...a little mysterious over the phone."
Kurt chuckled lightly and picked up his bag again once they were done hugging.
"I felt a little awkward discussing it over the phone," he told her. "Perhaps we can discuss it in private?"
"Of course," Storm replied, holding the door open for him. "Let me show you to your room."
"That would be appreciated," Kurt said, following her inside.
"How was the flight?" Storm asked as she closed the door, and then led him up the stairs.
"It was a flight, I suppose," Kurt replied. "The hardest part was getting through customs and immigration. It always is."
"People give you a hard time, huh?" Storm asked.
"I keep trying to tell them if I really was a demon I'd appear to them as an angel of light," Kurt said, only half-joking. "Of course, nowadays I get 'mutie' just as often as I get 'demon'. It is tiresome, but when worse comes to worse, I can always teleport."
"I'm sorry. I should have offered to fly you here in the Blackbird," Storm said, frowning as they reached the door of Kurt's new room. "And this is your room."
Kurt looked inside and nodded as he put his bag down.
"Thank you," he said as Storm followed him into the room, "for both the room and the consideration, but I had already bought the ticket when I called. I planned on coming to America regardless."
"Oh?" Storm inquired, shutting the door gently behind her.
Kurt took a deep breath.
"When I went back to Germany, I spent some time with my family and the circus, and then I decided to join the priesthood. Although, I ended up spending more time in a monastery than I did in teaching a congregation."
"No one gave you any trouble about being a demon?" Storm asked.
"One or two were a little nervous," Kurt replied, "but they were all reasonable people, and contrary to what some people might say on TV, not all Christians believe that mutants are the spawn of Satan."
"Indeed."
"In any case, while I was at the monastery, I started having a visitor. He was a very strange visitor; he only ever showed up for a few minutes at a time, would make a few cryptic remarks and then leave. He only ever visited me when I was alone too. He called himself Azazel and claimed to be the devil. He claimed I was a demon too, but I didn't believe him any more than I have believed anyone else who called me the same thing," Kurt said. "Still, there was one thing he did tell me that I... I can't be certain, I suppose, but this one thing he said seemed to have the ring of truth."
Storm noticed Kurt hesitation and placed her hand gently on his shoulder. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me."
"No, I do," Kurt replied firmly. "You need to know my reason for coming here. He told me that my mother—my birth mother—was Mystique."
Storm caught her breath.
"I need to see her, Storm," Kurt went on. "I figured if there was any chance of that, my best option was to rejoin the X-men. We have the same skin and eye colour. It could just be coincidence, but I have to know for sure."
"Of course you do," Storm said. "But I'm afraid it's been a year since we last saw her. You may have heard about the Sentinels?"
"The what?" Kurt asked.
"Project Wideawake?"
"The name rings a bell..."
"Well, a year ago a private company released some giant mutant hunting robots," Storm said with a completely straight face. "Amongst other places, they attacked the school and kidnapped most of us. The company was also responsible for kidnapping many mutants who had previously gotten the 'cure' including Magneto."
Kurt nodded. "I'm sure the X-men had no problems saving the day."
"Actually," Storm said, "those of us who were captured ended up being brainwashed by a mutant with hypnotic powers; Mesmero. Except Kitty, who managed to escape. We were actually rescued by Kitty, the Brotherhood, Rogue, and an old friend of mine, Remy. And Mystique; she was looking to rescue Magneto, which she did, and they both left right after. We haven't seen either of them since."
Kurt shrugged. "You've still seen them more recently than I have."
Storm smiled. "I suppose we have." She then snapped her fingers. "We are in contact with the Brotherhood though—some of the younger X-men like to play this game called 'World of Warcraft' with some of the members of the Brotherhood. I can't say for certain, but they may know how to contact her."
"That would be great," Kurt said. "Even if they can't, they may be even more likely to see her than the X-men, and perhaps they could pass a message on."
"Anything is possible," Storm said. "Well, I'm sure that you'd like some time to rest and freshen up after your long trip. I'll leave you to it."
"Thank you."
Later that day, Kurt joined everyone in the dining hall for dinner. There were some new faces at the adult tables, as well as some familiar ones. Since it had been so long Storm made a point of introducing and re-introducing Kurt to everyone:
"Bobby, Piotr, Kitty, Jubilee, I'm sure you remember Logan," Storm said, gesturing to each on in turn. "This is Hank McCoy. Psylocke, Sam, Paige, and Tabitha."
"Of course, it is a pleasure," Kurt said as he sat down next to Storm.
"Hey, nice to see you again," Bobby said with a nod towards him. "So how was Germany?"
So Kurt chatted about catching up with his family, and spending time with the monastery, all the while thinking that someone was missing. It was getting towards the end of the meal that Kurt finally worked out who was missing.
"May I ask where Rogue is?" he inquired.
There was a short, awkward pause in response to that question at first, and then Logan brought in: "Rogue doesn't live here any more."
Bobby cleared his throat uncomfortably and Kitty became engrossed in the last few crumbs on her plate.
"Rogue left us a few years ago," Storm said. "There was a...disagreement."
"Disagreement?" Logan repeated, incensed at the understatement.
"Ahem," Storm said, determined not to make Bobby and Kitty pay for their indiscretions any more than they already had. "Rogue was one of the ones who took the 'cure' when it was available. It wore off, just like it did everyone else, and she now has control over her powers. She's also married to a friend of mine, Remy, and they're living in New Orleans. They had just their first child, a son, Olivier, only a week ago."
"Wow," Kurt said with a nod of his head. "Sounds like she's doing really well for herself."
"In a manner of speaking," Logan muttered, still not the slightest bit impressed about Rogue joining the Thieves Guild.
It wasn't for another week or two that Kurt worked up the nerve to ask the younger X-men about contacting the Brotherhood about Mystique. He did feel a little awkward asking such a thing, especially when he hadn't seen them in years. He was also a little put off at first by Hank, whom he hadn't met before, as Hank had blue fur and yellow eyes. However, after some discreet conversation, Kurt found out that Hank's furry state was the result of him experimenting on himself, and not necessarily evidence that blue skin or fur and yellow eyes was a common mutation.
Although Storm had warned Kurt that Hank, Bobby, Kitty, Jubilee, Piotr, Sam, and Tabitha, as well as a number of the students liked to play World of Warcraft, he hadn't entirely expected the computer room to be so full on the middle of a bright and sunny Saturday.
Kurt made his way over to Jubilee and watched over her shoulder for a moment. On the screen was a little creature with pink hair and wearing a little blue dress along with some other items that did not coordinate well at all. Blue light appeared in the little creature's hands and a bar appeared at the bottom. When the bar filled, a blue stream flew across the screen and hit some kind of big goat. Beside the little creature was a bigger, green-blue watery looking thing that kept pointing at the goat and send its own blue streaks at it.
"What's happening?" asked Kurt curiously.
"Ahh! Kurt!" Jubilee exclaimed as she jumped in her seat. "You scared me."
"Apologies," Kurt replied. "I didn't intend to."
"It's okay," Jubilee assured him. "We're playing World of Warcraft."
"That much I guessed," Kurt replied.
Jubilee pointed with her left hand at the pink-haired creature. "That's my gnome mage, and that's her pet water elemental. I'm farming Frosthorn Rams for Chilled Meat. I need some for this Dalaran cooking quest."
"Okay," Kurt replied slowly, not at all certain what that meant.
Jubilee giggled at the look on her face.
"It's okay if that means nothing to you," she said. "It's not really all that important unless you play. And I warn you, it's highly addictive."
"I consider myself warned," Kurt replied with a smile. "Ahem, so, Storm tells me you play this with some of the Brotherhood?"
"Oh, umm, yeah," Jubilee said. "Actually, they were the ones who got us into it. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was a scheme to keep us from spoiling their plans. But, y'know, they're just as addicted to it as we are. Only they play Horde."
"Huh?"
"Oh, sorry. There are two factions in WoW," Jubilee explained. "The Horde and the Alliance. The Horde have orcs and trolls, and taurens—which are like minotaurs—and the Forsaken—which are the undead—and blood elves. The Alliance have all the pretty and cute races; humans, dwarves, gnomies, night elves, oh, and the draenei, which are like...aliens or something. Anyway, the Brotherhood, and Rogue, and Remy like to play the Horde, while we play Alliance. And they also like to make fun of my gnome. Gnomes get no respect."
"I'm sorry to hear that?" Kurt replied uncertainly.
Jubilee sighed dramatically. "It's okay."
Kurt paused for a moment, and then said: "So, I was wondering, would you be able to contact them for me, and inquire if they happen to be in contact with Mystique at all?"
"Mystique?" Jubilee repeated, giving Kurt a curious look. "Why?"
"I need to ask her something," Kurt replied, feeling awkward. "It's, uhh, personal. Storm knows."
Kurt wasn't really sure he wanted to publicise his possible relationship to Mystique yet. Jubilee shrugged and then read for her headphones. "I'll see if anyone's on Vent."
"Vent?"
"Ventrillo. It some software we use for voice communicating over the net."
"I see."
Jubilee pulled on the headphone and opened up Ventrillo. Kurt noted a number of unusual names come up on the screen.
"Hey," Jubilee said in response to the chorus of greetings she got when she logged it.
"It's a spy!" John declared upon recognising her voice.
"Very funny," Jubilee replied. "And how is everyone today?"
"I was great until an Ally scum decided to poke her nose in," John said.
"Oh shush you," Jubilee said. "Wait, don't shush, you're probably the best person to ask."
"Uh oh," said Pietro. "That sounds bad."
"Ha, it's not really. John, do you happen to remember Kurt?" Jubilee asked.
"You're going to have to give me more information than that," John replied.
"Right, umm, blue guy, German accent, tail... I don't remember if you were there when—"
"Oh! Kurt," said John. "Yeah, I remember him. That was right before I left to join these guys. What about him?"
"Well, he's just come back to join us after living in a monastery for the last few years. He's a priest now," Jubilee replied. "He wants to know if you guys are in contact with Mystique at all?"
"Mystique? Why?"
"Says it's personal."
"Well, I haven't seen her since the Sentinel thing," John said.
"Neither," said Wanda. "As far as we know she's still hanging out with Magneto, and we have no idea where he is either. So, a priest huh? This Kurt guy... he wouldn't happen to be able to do weddings at all?"
"Hang on, I'll ask him," Jubilee said, and then looked up at Kurt. "Hey, can you perform weddings? Pyro and Wanda—two of the Brotherhood—got engaged recently."
Kurt blinked in surprise at the question. "I can actually. Well, I can in Germany. I've only ever performed one ceremony though. I'm sure I could get my certification here."
"He says he is in Germany," Jubilee reported to Wanda. "He thinks he can get his certification here."
"Great! Can you get him to check into it?" Wanda asked. "Call me racist, but I just love the idea of getting married by a fellow mutant."
Jubilee giggled and relayed this to Kurt.
"By the way, Wanda," Jubilee said, only half-joking. "I already think you're racist, you terrorist you."
"This makes me think," said John. "We should start telling racist human jokes. Let's see... How many humans does it take to change a light bulb?"
"I don't know," Jubilee replied.
"Hmm...it takes...three. One to hold the light bulb, and the other two to turn his legs."
Jubilee giggled.
"I think I've heard that one before," said Dominic, "only it was morons or something rather than humans."
"Morons, humans, same thing," John replied cheerfully. "Ooh! How many mutants does it take to change a light bulb?"
"How many?" asked Dominic.
"One, and he can do it from the next room," John said.
"Actually, the answer is none," said Jubilee. "The mutant doesn't need to change the light bulb, she can generate her own light source."
Jubilee grinned at the laughter her response got. She almost didn't hear an exclamation from Kitty who was seated at the teacher's desk, and had the only computer with dual monitors.
"What?" Bobby asked, twisting around to see her. It wasn't a normal 'oh darn someone's killed my character again' exclamation.
"A mutant has been killed," Kitty reported. "A teenager was shot outside of her school multiple times in broad daylight. And whoever it was flung confetti afterwards."
"Omigod! That's horrible," Jubilee exclaimed.
"What's horrible?" John asked.
Jubilee filled them in quickly, and passed on the additional details Kitty had to report: The mutant had come out only a few months ago, but she had been shunned by everyone since. Her murderer had also spray painted '100' on the brick wall where he'd shot her. Wanda asked for a source of the report, and Kitty emailed her the link.
The Brotherhood of Mutants stood outside of the school of the murdered mutant on Monday morning as the first bell rang. Pietro looked upon it with growing disdain. Beside him, Dominic donned his helmet, and the newly engaged Wanda and John stood hand in hand. Martinique "Mastermind" Jason stood slightly off to the side.
"You know the best part?" said John. "I get to burn down the school. There are not too many people in this world who say they're going to burn the school down and actually get to do it. This is going to be great!"
"Just remember, we're not killing anyone," Wanda said firmly. "That would make us no better than them."
"Come on Wanda," Pietro complained. "Eye for an eye!"
"Kids are off-limits," Wanda said, glaring at him. "Adults, by all means, kids no."
"Bleeding heart," Mastermind said scornfully.
"Does that mean we can kill the teachers?" Dominic asked.
"Joy to the world, the school burned down," John sang merrily, "And alllll the teeeeachers too!"
"It's too early for Christmas Carols," Wanda said, "even butchered ones."
"The principal is de-e-ead," John continued singing blithely, "We shot him in the he-e-ead. And the Deputy too! We flushed her down the loo! Oh jo-oy! Oh jo-o-oy, the school burned down!"
"Finished now?" Wanda asked. "Or do you have another two verses?"
"Nope, I'm good," John replied. "Let's get this party started!"
"Finally," said Pietro. "Dom?"
Dominic spread out his arms and began to generate a seismic charge. When he felt the charge was large enough, he stamped his foot, and the ground trembled and rippled towards the main building of the school, tearing it up through the middle.
Wanda, John, and Pietro headed to the other buildings of the school to wreak their own kind of havoc. John took great pleasure in setting fires all the way through the science block. Wanda terrorised students and teachers through another block by using her hex bolts on the furniture, causing them to rise up. Wanda amused herself by having some of the chairs chase the students around. Pietro set off all the alarms, killed the electricity, turned on all the water, and stole all the clothes from the locker rooms, amongst a long list of other things.
It way mayhem as the students, teachers, and other staff made their way to the sports field outside. There were tears and panic, and people cursing about horrible mutants while all the building of the school were unearth, burned down, or otherwise destroyed. Once the majority were there, Mastermind took created a mass illusion wherein they were all hunted down and killed in horrific ways. Although those caught in the illusion felt like days, even weeks had passed, in real time it only lasted a few minutes. Mastermind broke it off when the rest of the Brotherhood joined her.
As the Brotherhood departed, their presence unnoticed, the school woke up from the illusion to find the football field littered with papers all announcing the same thing:
AN EYE FOR AN EYE!
We will not stand by and watch you murder our people.
For every mutant you kill, we will kill a human.
This goes double for you "100"
THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING
The Brotherhood of Mutants
"Oh come on, John," Bobby said while his Draenei hunter and pet bear stalked John's troll mage. "What do you hope to accomplish? You're just vindicating their decision to continue victimising mutants."
"Hey, if you want to go around pandering to those spazzes you go right ahead," John retorted hotly over Ventrillo. "I'm not going to stand around while they kill us off just because they're jealous we're so much better than them. It's about time the humans learned that mutants are the future."
"Look, I completely agree that we shouldn't just stand by and let mutants be victims of hate crimes like this," said Kitty as her night elf priest called up a healing spell to bestow upon Bobby's hunter. "But announcing you're going to kill a human every time they kill a mutant won't do anything to help anyone. You should be going after the original murderers and see them brought to justice—through the criminal system, I mean."
Everyone heard Pietro snort contemptuously through their headsets as his party of five avatars rampaged their way through the battleground.
"Puh-lease, you seem to think that the human justice system will actually put these guys away. How naive of you. Two words: history repeats," Pietro said.
"You surprise me, Pietro," Wanda said, her own blood elf priest healing their side. "I didn't think you bothered reading history at all."
"At least we're not just standing idly by, hoping that the cops are going to do their jobs," Dominic sneered while his tauren warrior came bearing down on Jubilee's mage.
"An eye for an eye is not the answer," Kitty replied firmly. "And we're not standing idly by at all. We think that this guy might have killed ninety-nine more mutants before this one and we're doing our best to try and track him down."
"Yeah, that's what we think too," said Pietro. "Which is why we have to act swiftly and decisively. He's gotten away with this for far too long and we're going to put a stop to it and make an example of him."
The red-headed woman sat on the floor with her two year old son and played blocks with him while her husband watched the TV in the background. The news was on, and the reporter was speaking on a horrible mutant terrorist attack on a school where one of the students had been killed a few days before hand. Her husband shook his head in disgust and turned the TV off.
"It never ends," he said.
The woman turned her head to look at him. "Regrets?"
The man with the ruby quartz glasses sighed in irritation, then smiled at his wife and son fondly. "Sometimes, and never."