Here lie remains of a ship that sailed too close to the storm
capsized, grounded, washed-up, sounded
I hear their voices, sirens singing in the street
I thought they might be calling out for you
All she could feel was her body on fire - pain lacing up her spine as every breath resulted in a sharp agony. Her vision was black, her eyes too heavy to lift; the incessant beeping in the background was muffled and her mind couldn't identify it. She couldn't process much of anything, except that she felt alone.
Felicity hated being in the dark; when she was little it had manifested as a simple physical fear of being in darkness, but now that she was grown…she hated the moments of not knowing. The small bits of time when Oliver was deep in a fight and she found herself relying on her unnatural ability to identify his grunts and the sound of his bow as it fired.
She hated every second of it - the long wait for comms to come back online, waiting for her searches to complete, waiting for Oliver to-
Another jolt of pain lanced through her body. She tried to open her mouth to gasp, but just like her eyes nothing worked. Her body wasn't responding to her brain.
Disconnected. Alone. Nothing but darkness greeting her.
She felt someone kiss the side of her forehead and hold her hand, "It's okay baby girl, mama's here now," but she couldn't respond or even signal that she felt it.
Felicity's mind reeled, wondering why her mother had been called - where was Oliver? Diggle? Why didn't she hear their voices?
Her memories were clouded as she tried to remember what had happened, but all she could pull out was a fire - an explosion, maybe - and then sirens. She wasn't even sure where she had been at the time, she just remembered sirens - loud, beeping-
Panic hit her as she realized what had happened; the explanation for where her friends were - they had been in the explosion - and they hadn't made it. It was her worst fear coming through, the panic of being alone and in the dark caused Felicity's body to shudder uncontrollably, her monitors spiking warning sounds.
Nurses rushed in, ready at the drop of a hat, and as they injected her with a drug to calm her down, her body became very still, and as she succumbed to the darkness again, she was able to whisper his name in a tiny prayer.
Despite the fact that it had been whispered, the name registered in Donna's memory - and she caught the nurses staring at her, eyes wide with surprise. She ignored it and pulled out Felicity's phone, searching for the number that would lead her to the man her daughter had spent every last bit of life force she had to say goodbye to.
The sound of feet pounding on cement echoed through the basement of the building, Oliver's pacing a result of the necessity of waiting; John was perched on the lone table, watching him. His friend wasn't known for his patience, but something else was added to the mix as they sat in his secondary lair.
"Where is she, Diggle? She said she was on her way back, we can't wait much longer - the plan is already in place."
"She said she would be here soon, just calm down. It's all going to plan."
His fingers gripped his hair, clenching his jaw in frustration. Roy was already with the police, the Foundry was soon to be discovered, but Felicity wasn't with them yet; the plan wouldn't work without her - it never did.
He stopped pacing, jabbing his finger towards Diggle, "We should never have started this until we knew she was safe back in Starling."
"She's safe with Palmer, you know that," John was leveled with a look.
"No, what I know about Palmer is that he has a suit - which protects him, not Felicity." He knew it was her choice, but every part of his body loathed that she was with him. Ray couldn't protect her and despite his protests, she had gone off to Central City anyway, convinced that between Ray and Barry she would be safe.
Oliver knew he was being paranoid, but it gnawed at him - he had called her multiple times, but his calls went straight to voicemail. The last time she hadn't answered was when she had been taken by Cooper, her very own psycho ex-boyfriend.
A loud buzzing on the steel table sent him stalking towards Diggle, picking up the phone to show him it was Felicity calling before answering.
"Felicity? Where are you, we've been wor-"
The voice on the other end stopped him cold, knowing there would be no good reason to hear Donna Smoak's voice on the other end.
"Mr. Queen, this is Donna Smoak, Felicity's-"
"Mother. I remember, where is Felicity?" He grit his teeth and Diggle stood up at that comment, preparing to leave if necessary.
He could feel the hesitation on the other end of the line, "She's at Starling City Hospital, but-"
Immediately he ended the call and looked down at his phone for a long second before throwing at the wall, confirming to John that whatever had happened was not good; Oliver turned and headed straight for his motorcycle, maintaining his silence.
"Oliver, what's going on? Why was Felicity's mother on the phone?" Diggle followed him into the alley were he kept the bike.
Avoiding the answer, Oliver jammed his helmet on and looked at John, "Felicity is hurt, I need you to stay here to wait for Roy's signal. I'll contact you when I can."
Knowing better than to force Oliver to talk about what he was feeling at the moment, Diggle just gripped his friend's arm tight, "Hey, don't forget - you're not the only one who cares about her."
Oliver just nodded tightly and sped off towards the hospital.
"Honestly, why do you have to risk your life on one of those things, you do it enough already."
Oliver had cocked his head and smiled, "What's with you and putting down my hobbies? First archery, and now motorcyles…"
The blush that bloomed on Felicity's face as she was reminded of her innocent quip about him before Oliver had brought her onto the team made Oliver-
Freeze. He had frozen in the middle of that light banter once he realized that he was falling under her spell again - during a time when he couldn't afford to be distracted.
There were so many instances where his love for her delayed the mission, or distracted him and put them in even more danger; it hadn't just started with their date - their only date.
Oliver parked the motorcycle in front of the main hospital entrance, ignoring the calls from the attendants, waving them away. He didn't have the patience to be Oliver Queen right now.
He knew there was only one place she could be, but when he burst through the stairwell door to the ICU floor, he was greeted with nurses running towards a room, one pushing what he immediately recognized as a crash cart.
Steeling himself, he followed them as they ran - and saw a shock of long blonde hair, so much like her daughter's, standing right outside one of the rooms.
"Ms. Smoak?" Oliver's voice was tentative, trying to avoid looking through the glass window into the patient room.
The woman turned around, bursting into tears, "My baby girl, she's in there…they're trying to do what they can, but-"
Oliver set his jaw and walked into the doorway, eyes training immediately onto Felicity's body lying on the bed. He was sure the room must have been filled with orders and statuses flying between the nurses and the doctor, but all he could hear was the long beep - all he could see was her hand jolting every time the current rushed through her body. Her fingers twitched, an ugly parody of his nervous gesture that she had picked up, though Oliver couldn't remember when it had started.
And then finally another sound came through, a hollow voice calling out, "Time of death, 6:47PM."
The world went dark as Oliver stood still, nurses and doctor leaving the room to break the news to her mother; the look on his face made them shy away - he had perfected that look for so long, used it so often. Only Felicity…
He stumbled over to the side of the bed, placing his hand around hers and gripped it tightly.
"Oh god…" The room's energy suddenly changed and Oliver spun around to see Ray Palmer standing in the room, looking horrified; he didn't see the punch coming, could no longer get a sound out as Oliver slid him up the wall, his arm cutting off the blood and air in his throat.
Oliver channeled all the pent up rage and emotion from being caged from his true self for far too long.
"I suggest you leave immediately, Palmer, before I end your life as I have so many others."
He took a sick pleasure in seeing how Palmer tried to speak, though his windpipe was slowly collapsing. Oliver let up and watched him slide down the wall to the floor, gasping for breath.
"What was she to you? A friend? What are you even doing here?"
Oliver growled and picked him up, slamming him back into the wall to look him in the eyes. "I'm the one who tried to protect her from you. You had no business bringing her into your crusade, and now she's dead. Because SHE TRUSTED YOU TO PROTECT HER."
Ray simmered, ignoring his rant, "Funny, she never talked about you when we were together and yet you seem so enraged - almost like a lover."
Oliver lifted him up and threw him against the hallway window, the body shattering the glass and toppling over onto the floor.
"You should leave. Immediately. I'll take care of her, as I always have."
He turned back to Felicity, and laced his fingers with hers, marveling at how smooth they were compared to his - callused and rough; that had always been how he saw them. Felicity was the shot of sunlight and breeze, whereas Oliver was the dark and grit born only out of desperation and a long understanding with death.
Despite all of that, as he knelt on the floor with his head resting over their clasped hands, he knew there was only one other person who held power over death and a plan clicked into place.
Driven by his desperation, he looked for Felicity's phone to call Diggle. "I need the Argus jet immediately."
"What's going on, Oliver? You have to talk to me. Where's Felicity? How is she?"
"Felicity will be fine, I just need the jet. Now."
"Oliver, I don't think-"
"Dammit, John. This is not the time for democracy. I need the jet now." He was impatient and snappy, but he knew there would a plane waiting for him as he covered Felicity's body with blankets and picked her up. No one dared to argue with him as he left the hospital with her in his arms.
Oliver drove up to the runway and gently pulled Felicity's body out of the car; it was still warm, and he prayed he would have enough time to make this work.
John was standing at the foot of the plane, watching them; he didn't need Oliver to speak in order to know what had happened. "Why are we here, Oliver?"
He ignored him, laying Felicity on the bed inside the plane's cabin; he turned around to look at his friend, "We need to leave for Nanda Parbat. Immediately."
Felicity's body had cooled, but he still held her close to his chest as if he could breathe life into her with his warmth. They had walked two miles to the entrance to Nanda Parbat, and despite protests from John he carried her the entire way.
This was his burden to bear and no one else's.
The doors to Nanda Parbat opened without question or action from the men, and Oliver knew they had been waiting for him. This was their leverage, and Oliver was at his mercy.
He stepped into the room of judgment, Diggle close behind, and spoke into the silence, "Bring Ra's to me. There is a deal to be made."
It echoed, and seemingly he spoke only into the emptiness, "I thought you had declined my offer, Mr. Queen."
Oliver held his chin up and looked directly at the speaker before kneeling and laying Felicity's body gently on the stone. The silence stretched long as he looked at her face, smoothed her hair back behind her ears, and removed her glasses.
Her face had lost the glow and light that he had come to depend on in his darkest times; they could never have imagined him facing the world without her. When they fought, it was always about him leaving her - reckless danger under the guise of protection.
He bent down to kiss her forehead as tears splashed onto her skin and he finally looked up at Ra's Al Ghul, who had been watching with a hawkish intent. "I need you to save her."
He held the assassin's eyes, refusing to blink back the tears. "My daughter is not fit to take my place because of her love for Ta-er al-Asfe, yet here you kneel before me and plead for help to save one you love."
Oliver grit his teeth, "This was your plan all along, Ra's, or else your men would not have let us through."
Ra's turned around, walking along the brick wall that surrounded a well of water. "Yes. However now I must wonder if perhaps I made an error when I offered you a place as my heir."
"This is the only way I will ever accept your offer," Oliver still knelt, but felt his pride buckling in the weight of his grief. "Please. I beg you. One soul for another, my life for hers. I will be the next Ra's Al Ghul if only you will save her."
Diggle spoke angrily from behind him, "I won't allow you to do this, Oliver. Felicity would never forgive me - or you."
Oliver didn't acknowledge his friend and continued to stare at Ra's as he gestured for his men to remove the companion from the room.
"As I was saying, Mr. Queen, my daughter is not fit to take my place, and now that you kneel before me and plead for the one you love, I realize my error - the offer is no longer valid. Her body cools, bury and honor her death."
He turned to leave, but Oliver stood up, anger coursing through his body, "I've always loved her, when we first met, when we fought, when you offered your throne to me. You still saw me fit to be your heir. Nothing has changed. My soul for hers."
He held Ra's' eyes as seconds turned into minutes, his chest heaving with anger, grief coursing through his veins. Ra's stepped down the stairs again and stood before him.
"I believe I will accept your offer, Mr. Queen, but be warned, only the strongest can survive the waters of the pit and come back to the side of the living."
Oliver's body, released of tension, melted and he moved with precision to where her body lay; gently he picked her up again, hoping that the next time she was in his arms it would be warm with life.
He looked at her face as he walked towards the stairs and whispers, "She's the strongest person I know. I don't deserve her."
"And from this moment on, she will never be yours to deserve." Ra's spoke with finality and the wisdom of generations, but Oliver shook his head.
He gently submerged her body into the green liquid before whispering brokenly, "She never was."
From the doorway, Ra's spoke once more, "It will take some time, since her soul has crossed the threshold already. I will leave you for now."
Oliver circled the pool, trying to protect her still, before his legs weakened and he hit the ground hard. He crawled to the edge of the wall that overlooked the pool and drew his legs up to his chest, his eyes filled with unshed tears, but locked onto the waters that would hopefully bring Felicity Smoak back to life.
It had been a day since Oliver had pulled her healed body out of the Lazarus Pit, but she still hadn't woken up. All he did was sit on the floor next to her bed and watch her chest rise and fall. Maseo had warned that her soul might not be strong enough to fight through again, keeping her in a state of suspended animation.
Apparently he was lucky, though, that she hadn't immediately lost her mind - they said it was a good sign, but he had his doubts. There was no reason to trust anyone here.
Sometimes they would allow Diggle to sit with him, but all it did was bring him more pain - another person he would be failing by accepting this deal. He was losing another brother, but all that either could think about right then was whether or not Felicity would pull through.
Mercifully, John never had to ask why Oliver had made the deal. It was probably a good thing, since Oliver Queen would most assuredly be arrested the next time he stepped foot in Starling City. Even ex-billionaires get charged when they assault and then kidnap someone. He regretted neither.
And as he kissed her forehead, lips lingering on her blessed warmth, he knew that no matter how many lifetimes he lived there would only ever be one Felicity Smoak. He had found his soulmate - better late than never.
Felicity woke, her body mercifully free of the sharp lances of pain and fire that had infused her body the last time she had done so. Her eyes fluttered open and saw Oliver sitting beside her bed, eyes rimmed with red and dark circles; he definitely hadn't been sleeping well, a habit she would have to scold him for later.
"Felicity," Oliver spoke, awe in his voice as his hand reached for hers.
She immediately jerked away from him, bolting up and shifting to the wall behind her, "Where am I? What's going on?"
The hurt on his face immediately made her feel guilty, but Felicity's mind was reeling - because from all the stories she had heard, this place definitely was too League of Assassins-y for her taste.
"We're in Nanda Parbat," Felicity let out a gust of breath, she had known it deep in her bones. "You've been…out, for a couple of days. You were hurt coming back from Central City, I don't know how, but I got to the hospital and…"
She stared at Oliver as his eyes broke away from her face and she realized where the red and shadows came from, "By hurt…you mean dead. Oliver?"
Her hand moved to find his, and he gripped it hard, staring at it as if it was a life raft. "It was the only way, Felicity. Ras was able-"
"He would never agree to help you, especially not after," Felicity gasped as the pieces fell into place - why they were here with no guards in the room, why they were even alive - why she was even alive right now. "Oliver…"
"It was the only way, Felicity," he spoke so simply, she could feel his emotions shuttering off from the world and anger seeped in, something that had. Been all too common in the past few months with them.
"That's what you've been saying a lot lately, but it's just not true - it's just the easy answer, Oliver!"
"WHAT WAS THE ALTERNATIVE? To let you die? That is never going to be an option, Felicity." Oliver stood up and began pacing in the small room, Felicity swinging her feet over the edge of the bed in parallel.
"It wasn't worth your soul - I wasn't worth an eternity without it. What about Thea, did you even think of her?"
Oliver stopped and stared at her, his face answering that question for her. He had only been thinking of her, "You were already dead, Felicity. I couldn't even do anything - I just stood there as they shot electric currents through your body and I did nothing. I wept over your body and all I could think about was that I would never hear you speak again - never see your smile, or your huffy noises when I'm stubborn."
Felicity knew that in any other context all this would come out as romantic, but in this very moment all she felt was anger that he had once again sacrificed his life as if it meant nothing to him.
"That's all you ever think about, Oliver, the moment you're in - you live in the present with no thought of the backlash or repercussions. You see one way, and it always ends with you sacrificing yourself. We were lucky to get you back every time, but this time? There is no going back."
The last sentence echoed as she spoke each word with more strength, walking closer to him, but the moment was broken when Maseo opened the door, "Ras has called, it Is time - now that she is awake." He left them in silence and Oliver turned to her again.
"The deal is already set, Felicity. There's nothing we can do to change it, I got what I wanted. This is how it has to be." He refused to let her anger at his decision mar the last moments he would have alone with her, and stepped towards her, pulling her into a hug. Her body was stiff with shock still, but he squeezed her tight, kissed the side of her forehead, and murmured a soft goodbye.
He stepped back and walked through the doorway where Maseo stood, gesturing for him to lead the way. Felicity walked up beside him and wordlessly slipped her hand in his as they walked side by side, straight towards Oliver's fate.
They walked into the room and Felicity immediately smiled at Diggle, and though she saw his body relax, his face held concern for their friend who stood beside her.
"Ms. Smoak, I have heard many things about you. You must be a truly remarkable person for Mr. Queen to make such a deal."
Felicity glared at him, unequivocally angry, "And you must be a truly loathsome person who would strip an unwilling man's soul away when he has a perfectly good and willing heir who has stood beside him for years."
Ras glanced around at the three of them, each echoing the same sentiment, "I fear I must remind you and your companions, Ms. Smoak, that either Mr. Queen honors our deal or all three of you face my justice."
"Murder is not justice," Felicity ground out, despite fear filling her body. She felt Oliver press against her side, lending his strength to her.
"As Mr. Queen has not trained with us before, he must submit to the League training. Traditionally, members train for a period of ten years in seclusion before we allow them into the world to be the hand of justice."
A loud sob echoed in the chamber as understanding finally hit Felicity, the finality of Ras' words. Oliver stood stock straight, holding strong as she cried, but finally her cries broke him and he turned to her, his hands moving halfway to her face before dropping again, unsure of how to comfort her when all he ever did was bring her anguish.
She looked up at him, tears flowing, "Please don't do this. Please. Oliver, there's another way. There always is, you don't have to do this."
Felicity stared at him, his broken face, and shoved him hard in the chest, "Damn you! Say something."
"Felicity…"
"I won't allow you to do this to me, Oliver. Not again. I love you."
In the corner of the room, Diggle took a few steps forward, but Oliver did nothing but stare at her, trying to memorize her face knowing that Ras' patience for their show would be wearing thin.
Ignoring all of that, Felicity stood up and pulled him down into a deep kiss, pouring all of her heartbreak and longing that had built up over the past three years. She didn't know why all of their kisses had to end in goodbyes, but she wasn't allowing that to taint this one - and Oliver responded in kind. The last wish of a dying man.
He finally pulled away amidst her silent protests and rests his forehead against hers as he closed his eyes, whispering that he loved her. Their lips met a second time, but only briefly as Felicity let out a scream, "NO. LET ME GO!"
Oliver looked behind her to see two men pulling her away as she fought them, "Oliver, OLIVER DON'T DO THIS. OLIVER."
His body was frozen, knowing if he made a move to free her he would be sentencing both Felicity and Diggle to die and it would have all been for nothing.
Diggle had wrapped his arms around Felicity's stomach, and her legs kicked wildly, "NO! Oliver I love you, I will always love you, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS. YOU ARE NOT DONE FIGHTING, remember? Don't give up on us."
Oliver took a step toward her as her screams continued to echo through the chamber until the doors finally closed behind them, marking the end of Oliver Queen.
Ras spoke from behind him, "You shall now be known as Al-Sahm Al-Akhdar until I have deemed you worthy of the title Ras Al Ghul. Welcome, my son."
Oliver pretended not to hear the cries and screams from the hallway as he followed the Demon into hell.
Author's Note: My contribution to the headcanon narrative that took tumblr by storm. Hope everyone enjoyed it, critique, comments, and love welcomed!