Five Times Hawkeye Kissed Margaret (And The One Time She Kissed Him)
-x-
The first time he kissed her, she was cold and irritated.
She had been trying to explain something or other to Frank while Korea's winter wind nipped harshly at her cheeks. Her mind hadn't really been on their conversation; instead her thoughts wandered darkly to the fact that this Christmas she was spending it stuck in a war, alone, with a man who was essentially using her to replace his wife's warm body. She always got really moody around holidays, and that she was in Korea this time probably didn't help whatsoever.
As they rounded the Swamp, she had vaguely heard someone say, "Excuse me, sirs," from behind, which caused them both to halt in their progression.
When she saw who it was she had immediately rolled her eyes. 'What did he want now?' she groused to herself as Hawkeye sidled up between them.
"Will you hold this please?" he handed his drink over to Frank who took it without a thought. Then, without warning, she found herself dipped backwards, the Chief Surgeon's lips passionately upon hers.
She couldn't move for a moment, completely in shock. It was only when he readjusted his grip on her, bringing her closer and deepening the kiss, that she reacted: she pulled him even closer.
She could distantly hear Frank voicing his displeasure, but at that moment she couldn't bring herself to care. Hawkeye's hand wrapped more firmly around her, and suddenly she didn't feel so cold.
The warmth was ripped from her when Frank wouldn't be ignored any longer. He tore Hawkeye off of her, but the surgeon kept one arm securely around her torso. (Silently she was grateful because she didn't know if her legs could have handled her weight at that moment.)
She knew they exchanged words, but she was too completely out of it to listen. She knew a giant smile had plastered itself on her face and she continued to stare up at Hawkeye almost dreamily. It had been quite a while since she had been kissed like that. Frank almost certainly had never kissed her like that. She let out a small sigh, her silly grin still in place.
He let go of her and she stumbled a bit, but managed to right herself in time to not make a fool of herself. Hawkeye walked off after making one last crack and her eyes followed his retreating form. Frank asked her a question and she could only mumble out a response distractedly.
Maybe it wasn't that bad of a Christmas, she had thought.
-x-
The second time he had kissed her she really should have expected something like that out of him.
The nurses were being shipped out until the threat of the enemy was gone. She was thankful that the women's safety was being considered so much, but at the same time she hated to leave the men on their own. Lord knew what they'd end up screwing up.
However, it was her duty to follow orders, and so that's why she found herself at the back of the vehicle that carried her nurses, saying her goodbyes to her fellow officers.
A salute was exchanged with Colonel Blake, Frank, and Trapper. The first professionally, the second barely suppressed longing, and the latter was of course was done mockingly. To think that his buddy would take it even a bit more seriously than that was a gross misstep on her part.
She turned to the last Captain, her eyes rolling from the last goodbye. She tried putting on a semiserious face for the sake of decency. She caught Pierce's gaze and straightened up, "Captain," she readied her arm to lift.
But he beat her to it when he parried with a "Major" before sweeping her up into his arms.
She saw it coming this time too, that was the funny part. She saw the glint in his eye and knew what he was up to a second too late, and just as she went to protest he covered her mouth with his, effectively shutting her up.
Once again she was shocked into inaction, unable to give a proper response until he tilted his head. Her arms came up around him reflexively, curling around his shoulders and her fingers found their way to the hair at the base of his neck. She accidentally let out a sigh and the smirk she felt against her lips made her want to bite him in retaliation. Instead she arched her back farther into his body. His hand stuttered and pulled her more firmly against him.
Suddenly he was lifting her back up, and the loss of him actually made her stumble. He sent another smirk down at her, but at that moment she was in such a daze that she merely continued gazing up at him. She felt Frank get between them and Hawkeye's eyes turned to the other Major, but she couldn't gather her wits. Frank gripped her arm as he told the other man exactly what he thought of that display, but she paid him no mind. As Frank led her away, she and Hawkeye shared a mischievous smile before she lost sight of him.
She ignored the giggling of the other nurses and the questions that were directed at her, silently smiling to herself as her lips continued to tingle even as the jeep pulled farther away from the 4077th.
-x-
The third time could be counted as both being the guilty party, but she could distinctly remember him making the first move and she'll swear that to her grave no matter what he says.
It was one of the most memorable nights, if not one of the most intense in Korea. They were stuck behind enemy lines with no communication with their own side, something that terrified them both. She was still angry from the Dear Darlene letter and her already short temper was even shorter. She knew she was being a bitch, knew she was biting his head off and that she was being unreasonable, but her high strung emotions were reaching a head and she didn't know how contain them. And so Hawkeye, being the only person in the vicinity, had to bear the brunt of it.
She had never told anyone this, not even Frank, but loud noises were one of her biggest fears. The heavy artillery didn't help matters either. Every explosion set her teeth on edge and she had to dig her nails into her flesh to keep from jumping. Thank God they had brought the Scotch, was what ran through her mind as the liquid burned down her throat.
She couldn't believe she had shared all of that with him, but she supposed the liquor had loosened her normally uptight tongue. She hefted a nearby club and swung it around threateningly, letting him know just what state of mind she was in and to not startle her in the night.
Turns out it wouldn't be him that woke her up. Loud detonations right outside the little hut had her sitting up and screaming herself hoarse. She just wanted it to stop, she needed it to stop-!
Suddenly arms were being wrapped around her (trembling) frame and she allowed herself to be embraced. He shouted at them along with her, their voices loud and yet so tiny compared to the bombs. She felt so hysterical, it was all such a whirlwind, everything was so hectic-!
And then a pair of lips were on hers.
It wasn't a kiss at all, their faces were just so close (when had that happened?) that their mouths ended up brushing against each other as they moved. It startled them both into silence and it seemed the bombs were as well for the moment.
She stared up at him, unsure of what was happening. The attraction she had always felt towards him was slowly simmering low in her belly, reminding her once again that she still hadn't fully stomped it out. Her lips parted without her permission and she could see his pupils darken despite the shadows that threw his features into obscurity. Her hand gripped his coat tighter.
A sudden explosion threw them at each other, the comfort of the other person something both needed. The passion was there, but desperation seemed to cling to their teeth. Realization caught up with them at the same time as they slowly pulled away, their eyes locking.
This time it wasn't a joke. This time it wasn't just to poke fun at each other. No one was there to pull him away from her. There was no Frank to nag his ear off for touching a higher officer of command. There was no thought of her husband who obviously didn't think of her. There was only them. Her and him. Him and her. This was the line. The only question was- could they cross it?
He gazed down at her, his arms secure around her body, his hand inching towards her hair. She felt warmth pool in her stomach and ached to close the distance, but something held her back. (Fear and insecurity she supposed) An unfamiliar light entered his eyes and then he was dipping his head back in to capture her mouth. She felt her eyes flutter close as soon as he made contact, the force of the kiss tilting her head back. Unlike their previous kisses, this one felt the softest, if that was even possible. He held her almost gently, like she was precious and more than once throughout the rest of the night she had to hold tears back.
It was the safest she ever felt during the war.
-x-
The fourth time was a farewell.
It was bittersweet, filled with longing and despair and love and hate and every emotion she had ever felt in this man's presence.
Neither could say the words. They refused to come out and both knew it. She could see it when she turned to him after saying goodbye to Sherman, the way he gazed at her. Her gut clenched and her lips parted once more for him, but nothing escaped from between them. He lowered his head, unable to look her in the eye anymore if this was to continue like it had to.
"So, uh, listen…," he began. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest and she tried to follow his lead.
"Yea…,"was the best that came out. She licked her dry lips, feeling her eyes prickle and hating herself for it. She straightened her back, determined to be the strong one this time.
But then he glanced up at her, his blue eyes piercing like every single time they rested on her, and she felt her heart stop. And then he was reaching for her and she followed his lead once more. His hands wrapped around her and it felt so familiar to her now she wondered how she'd learn to live without it. Her arms encircled his lean frame and she pulled him as close to her body as humanly possible without actually becoming one person.
She pushed the tears back and focused on telling him everything through that kiss. She told him of how much he frustrated her. How much she had wanted to hit him more than once during their stay at the 4077th. She told him of how grateful she was that he had been there. That she wouldn't have made it quite through as well as she had without him. How much she valued him as a friend. How much she was going to miss him. How much she loved him.
He deepened the kiss as a response and she knew that was his way of saying 'Me too, Major Baby'. She clutched him closer, her nails almost dragging across his skin. One hand lifted to cradle his face, and her heart felt almost like it was breaking. She kissed him harder and pushed it the feeling away.
It was too short, it was over way too fast for her liking. Time had seemed to slow down and rush forward all at once and when he let go of her she was disoriented. They stepped away from each other, her mostly because she knew if she stayed near him she wouldn't be able to leave.
He looked out of sorts as well when he says, "Well, so long."
She's so caught up in the moment that she responds with "See ya," before hightailing it into the jeep, unable to stay there any longer. Her breathing is heavier than normal, she knows, and she tries to calm it down as the driver starts the vehicle.
Something is being held out to her from behind and she turns to see Charles presenting the book of poems to her, almost like a peace offering. She accepts it with a smile and he places his now free hand over his chest where his heart resides. While she makes sure she doesn't look back at the man who stole her heart, she is suddenly seized with the love and affection for the other men that have entered her life. The men that had become her friends and family and captured her heart in another way. It's what makes her continue to look back as the jeep takes off, almost kneeling in her seat backwards. She refuses to take her eyes off their figures as they get smaller and smaller as she pulls farther away.
It's as she lets her eyes slide over to him, his bright blue eyes still able to pierce even at this distance, that she realizes this isn't a goodbye. That his words were not a farewell post-kiss.
She beams at their receding figures and waves her hand vigorously. This isn't a goodbye. She will see them again.
She will see him again.
-x-
She was right. She did see them- him again.
It is at the reunion that Radar of all people puts together about a year later. Everyone shows and she is beyond happy to be around the people that wormed their way into her heart, making one of the worst experiences in her life bearable somehow. For the first time since she left the 4077th she finally feels something that's almost like coming home.
Everyone trickles in slowly. She somehow psyched herself so much that she was one of the first in, and the anticipation of the rest of them arriving continued to fill her with anxiety.
He is the last to show, even behind Trapper and Frank (Radar hid from her every chance he could the rest of the night, scared of her wrath because of his mistake. She couldn't believe he invited that ferret face. It was even worse because he had brought his wife and kids. That was probably one of the most awkward moments she'd ever experienced and she'd never forgive Radar for that, the little pipsqueak.)
He sauntered in and the first thing he said to her was: "Hey Major Baby."
She felt the urge to slap him even as a smile stretched across her face. "Captain," she greeted, an undercurrent of mirth in her voice.
He grinned at her and something in her chest loosened. She beamed back and allowed him to hug her.
The reunion lasted an entire weekend and she spent as much time with all of them as she could. Hawkeye barely left her side the whole time, always within arm's length and she was happy about that. (She wouldn't tell him that though, his ego didn't need that encouragement.)
The night before they all had to leave, they had a big party. They drank, they laughed, they reminisced over happy times and conveniently forgot about the sad times. Music played and couples danced and children played under tables. Halfway through the third song, Hawkeye asked her to dance and she tried not to be too enthusiastic in her acceptance. His smirk told her she didn't succeed. She rolled her eyes and gripped his hand tighter and he pulled her into his arms.
It was nice just swaying on the dance floor with him. His body was warm and his hands were soft and firm against her, cradling her against him. She rested her head on his chest and felt his cheek against her hair, his breathing deepening.
"Care to join me to somewhere more private?" he whispered and she silently looked up at him in question.
"No funny business, I swear," he smirked and she shot up an eyebrow. He sobered quickly, "Margaret, I promise." She studied him for a moment more before she nodded. He led her out of the room, both ignoring the curious looks and whispers.
"So…," he began, and she was suddenly brought back to their goodbye a year ago. An emotion clogged in her throat and her hand clenched his almost unconsciously. He took them outside and she looks out beyond the balcony at the empty pool. No one is around and they are alone.
"Yes?" she asked, not able to look at him when he says the words.
"Tomorrow we go back to our regular lives…" he stuffed a hand into his pocket, his eyes darting from hers to the pool as well. She swallows.
"And?"
He took a deep breath before staring directly at her, "I don't want this to be another goodbye, Margaret."
She was frozen.
"What do you suggest then?" she started, unable to even comprehend what he was saying. He couldn't mean what she thought he meant, that just wasn't possible and she wouldn't entertain the idea.
His fingers gripped her tighter and he came closer, "Come to Crabapple with me," he suggested. "There's an opening in the hospital nearby for a head nurse, and I know the Chief Surgeon is feeling mighty lonely over there." He wriggled his eyebrows, but his words were completely serious.
Her voice seemed to leave her, but she felt her head begin to shake, "What do you think you're asking me?" she felt her hands tremble and tried to pull away from him but he wouldn't let her. "I have a life, Pierce, I can't just-" his blue eyes caught her and she shook her head even more, "Besides- what makes you think I even want what you're asking of me?" Fear tinged her words, but she refused to show weakness.
"So what, are you saying you haven't thought of me at all since we last saw each other?" He demanded, a light twinkling in his eye that told her he was up to something.
"You're really full of yourself, you know that?" She wrenched her hands away, deflecting the question because she couldn't do this. She couldn't say goodbye but she couldn't have this one thing get ripped away from her. She wouldn't put herself through that and she wouldn't let him ruin this.
He caught her arm gently and she spun around angrily, expecting him to be riled up. However he didn't look upset at all in the face of her denial. He smirked, "Yes, I believe I have been told that once or twice."
"You're infuriating, you know that?" she exclaimed, completely exasperated with him, trying to lead them away from the topic at hand but he brought it right back.
"And you're trying to run away again." That stopped her cold. "What's so horrible about admitting your feelings anyways, Margaret? If I, Mr. No-Commitment, can do it, you can too," a tiny grin curled at the edges of his mouth and she became distracted by it for a second.
"There's nothing to say," she choked out, but even to her it sounded weak. He tilted his head at her, giving her a look.
"Margaret…"
She threw her hands up, "Alright! I've thought about you, okay. How could I not? But nothing can come between us, you said so yourself! We're too different remember? We wouldn't make it." She pushed her chin up, trying to be strong. He looked away this time.
"Yea, I know I said that." She started to agree and move one, but he cut her off, "But I was wrong." He said it so forcefully that she couldn't speak even if she wanted to. He continued, "I was scared, Margaret. Things with you…it was too fast, too emotional…too much." His eyes roamed over her face, his mouth softening. "I didn't know what to do, so I backed off and ran with my tail between my legs. You got caught in the crossfire of my haywire emotions, unfortunately."
She was silent, taking it in, "So, what, did you change your mind? Suddenly now you want me? You want the family life? The house, the children, the job, the commitment? What makes you think I haven't moved on? You think I'm here to wait on you, hand and foot? I have a life you know! A career!" she was being overdramatic and she knew it, but it needed to be said.
"The job? Margaret, do you really see yourself staying in the military forever?"
"Well…no, but- Where do you get off springing job offers at me?! Why does any of this matter?"
"Because things change, Margaret. I didn't want anything remotely serious back then. I didn't want the stress, not added onto the War- things were bad enough. But now? Yea I think I want to try it. I want to try it with you. I'm ready now."
"And what makes you think I am? If I ever was?" she whispered.
He didn't answer her for the longest time. It felt like hours to her, as he continued to just gaze at her, study her. She refused to look away. The air became charged between them as minutes rolled by and he still hadn't answered her.
"If you aren't…then why are you out here with me? Why are you still out here when you could've just smacked me and walked right back inside?" She couldn't answer, her mouth hanging open like a fish. "Because I think you do want this like I do, you're just too afraid to admit it."
Her eyes widened and she began to shake her head but he stopped her again.
"I don't need an answer now. And that job offer will still stand no matter what you choose. But I'll give you time to think about it. I'm not going to say goodbye tomorrow, Margaret. Know that I will be waiting and that you won't be getting rid of me so easily."
And then he walked back inside. She didn't sleep that night at all, instead stealing a bottle of scotch from the downstairs bar and nursing it until morning.
As she got into her cab, her eyes still watering a little from her goodbyes, he held the door open for her.
His blue eyes caught her and he smiled "You know where to find me, Margaret," was all he said. And then he closed the door.
A few months later found her on his doorstep in Maine, a suitcase in one hand and her military resignation in the other. He didn't say anything when he saw her. He just moved forward and swept her up into his arms, his lips finding hers easily.
She started her new job within the week. They were engaged within a few months.
-x-
Their wedding was combined with a reunion as it just seemed appropriate given the situation.
BJ was Hawkeye's best man; Trapper, Radar, Klinger, and Charles were the groomsmen (the latter a little unwillingly, but had accepted his fate in good taste) Father Mulcahy led the service and her father and Sherman led her down the aisle. She had asked Kellye to be her maid of honor and Soon Li and a few of the other nurses who were available to be bridesmaids. Frank's invitation was conveniently lost in the mail.
Everything was perfect. Margaret had spearheaded the whole operation like the Major she was, and she made sure everything was as it should be- just the way she pictured it.
Of course both got butterflies before the service. Each were known for their amazingly bad commitment skills and it was a miracle they even got this far. Several bets had been taken behind the scenes on if they would even make it through the wedding. But somehow they managed to both find their places at the end of the altar and everything went smoothly from there. (BJ and Charles took credit for the wedding taking place at all. They claimed it was their hectic persuasions and acrobatics that saved the day.)
The vows were spoken and the rings exchanged and this time no one was rushing her because wounded were in the compound. Just that alone gave her a warm feeling that this just might work out well. That and the loving gentle look in Hawkeye's eyes as he gazed down at her, like he couldn't believe he was here and that she was saying these things to him. She beamed up at him, almost glowing with happiness.
And when the time came to kiss the bride, she felt her arms moving on their own accord. And before Hawkeye could make the first move she had her fingers laced through his hair and was dragging him down to her level, covering his mouth with hers and taking the breath from him. Catcalls and wolf whistles echoed through the building, but she merely smiled against his lips as he laughed and pulled her closer.
Later she told him she just couldn't wait. He laughed some more and kissed her again, their matching rings glinting in the light as he held her hand.
-x-
Can't you just picture Margaret taking charge on their wedding day with the kiss like that? Because Hawkeye has been the one to pretty much initiate the kisses (excepts one or two) and when Margaret knows what she wants she seems like the type to go right for it. Case in point :) First MASH fic (well, completed anyway) forgive any errors, but I tried getting them all out as best I could. Hope you enjoyed :)