A/N: WARNING. WARNING. WARNING. You are rapidly approaching an area that can only be described as the most OOC of OOC Jelsa crackfics. You have been given fair warning. Turn back now if this is not your cup of tea. In fact, you might want to turn back now even if it is your cup of tea. That's how OOC this is. Orange County is jealous of how many Os and Cs it has. Any flames will be used to fuel my fiery writing passion which burns so hot as to rival the flames of Apollo's chariot. You have been warned. Welcome!

"And then they got married and they lived happily ever after. The End."

"Oh. My. God," punctuated Elsa McQueen. "That was literally the dumbest movie I've ever watched. Why would she, like, marry him? He's not even cute."

Our heroine, Elsa McQueen, is a superficial sort, to put it lightly. Raised in the city from the time she was a small child, she has only ever been spoiled and rich. Not often the greatest combination, but when life gives you lemons, you start a meager lemonade stand and slowly expand, assimilating all competition until you hold a monopoly on all of the delicious lemonade in America. But I digress.

Elsa McQueen is not the kindest, nor the gentlest, nor the most tact, girl on the planet. However, she does try her very best to be simply Elsa. Whatever that means.

Elsa was always under the horribly mistaken belief that she carried herself with the same grandeur and frailty as a princess. Which certainly explains her reaction when her parents informed her that she and Anna were to spend the summer working at their uncle's grandson's cousin's aunt's neighbor's farm.

"Are. You. Freaking. Serious," she asked, more of a statement than a question.

"Yes we are, Elsa," said her father, Mufasa McKing (brother of Mufasa McPride, leader of Pride Rock) in a strangely regal tone.

"We believe that it's time for you and your sister to learn a proper work ethic," added her mother, Isabelle McSomethingorother.

"Can't I have the servants do that for me?" asked Elsa.

"Elsa, we don't have any servants," whispered Anna. Elsa swiftly elbowed her in the stomach, a wheeze escaping Anna's lungs as she toppled over onto the floor.

"Mom. Dad. Please," said Elsa. She flashed her greatest and most powerful of puppy dog eyes in the direction of her parents. Unfortunately, Elsa was quite inexperienced in the realm of puppy dog eyes, resulting in her more resembling an aye-aye than anything else. After her parents recovered from the shock, her father shook his head.

"Elsa, the decision has already been made. You're outnumbered 3 to 1."

"Ex. Cuse. Me?" asked Elsa. "By my count, I'm outnumbering you 3 to 1."

"What?" asked her mother Isabelle McSomethingorother in confusion.

"My vote counts for 1 and a half. Your votes don't count."

"How does that even come close to 3?"

"Well, obviously Anna is voting with me. Her vote counts for 1 and a half too," said Elsa matter-of-factly.

"Elsa."

"What?" she snipped.

"Anna's the one who suggested the trip. She's voting against you."

There was a rather long period of awkward silence.

"I changed my mind. Her vote doesn't count anymore."

Mufasa McPride sighed. Isabelle McSomethingorother smacked her forehead with her palm. Anna McPrincess wheezed.

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After Anna had recovered from her inability to breathe, she packed hers and Elsa's bags and placed them in the bus Elsa had chartered.

"I can't believe that you bribed that bus driver to leave those kids at their school," said Anna, frowning.

"What?" asked Elsa. "It's not like they were going anywhere important."

"They were going to meet the president!" said Anna indignantly.

"So? I wasn't going to meet the president. So I don't care," replied Elsa.

Anna groaned and stepped into the bus. Elsa reached out and shoved Anna onto the ground, muttering something about "no one gets into the royal vehicle before me" and then stepped into the bus. Anna rubbed her newly skinned elbow and followed Elsa, and they set off. After stopping no less than 9 times due to several "royal emergencies", they finally caught sight of the farm.

"This was a terrible idea."

"Elsa, we're not even at the farm yet."

"That's how bad this idea is. I can tell how bad it is before it even starts."

Anna groaned and rubbed her temples. "Elsa, can you please just give it a chance?" Elsa gave a very dramatic sigh and looked out the window. After about half an hour, the bus finally dropped them off in front of the house. It was a rather large picturesque home, with a small sign in front. On closer inspection it read:

Frost Howse

"Huh. That's an interesting way to spell 'house'," said Anna.

"That's a stupid way to spell house. Everyone knows it's spelled with two 'S's," said Elsa.

"Look, there's a smaller sign at the bottom," replied Anna, pointing to said smaller sign. "It says, 'If the two sisters are reading this, then you might wanna go to the big tree in the backyard."

"How are we supposed to get in? There's no key," asked Elsa.

"The key is under a rock. See you soon, JF.' JF…" muttered Anna.

"Really? How could they forget the K?" said Elsa condescendingly.

"Huh?"

"Never mind, you wouldn't understand," replied Elsa, kicking Anna in the shin as she opened the gate with the rock-key.

"Agh!" shouted Anna as she limped after Elsa. "That was unnecessary…wait, two 'S's, what the heck?"

They made their way around the house and finally, they caught sight of the tree. On closer inspection, there was a boy with shining white hair sitting among the branches, and he appeared to be resting.

Elsa and Anna approached the mysterious white-haired boy, and as they drew nearer, they (and by they, I mean Elsa) had the chance to further examine his attire. Bare feet, overalls, plaid shirt, a small twig in between his teeth, and a straw hat. Elsa was, for lack of a better word, unimpressed.

"Oh. My. God," she said to Anna. "He looks like a country bumpkin."

"Elsa, be nice! We're gonna be spending a lot of time with him, so you might as well get used to it!" said Anna. Elsa groaned as they arrived at the base of the tree the boy was sitting in.

"Howdy, girls!" said the boy with a huge grin on his face, a very noticeable Southern drawl in his voice.

"Oh god. He is a country bumpkin." Anna smacked Elsa on the shoulder.

"Hi there, my name is Anna McPrincess, and this is my sister, Elsa McQueen." Elsa refused to look at him.

"My name is Jack, but my friends call me Jack Frost. Nice to meet ya!" replied the boy with a grin. Elsa scoffed. "Um, is there a problem?" asked Jack.

"Why do they call you 'Frost'?" asked Elsa, the disdain apparent in her voice.

"Cuz my buttcheeks are whiiiiiiiite as snow!" replied Jack without missing a beat, the grin only becoming wider. Anna snorted, and Elsa just stared at him.

There was a rather long period of awkward silence. Finally, Elsa shook her head and walked towards the house, muttering to herself. She could tell it was going to be a long summer.