LISTEN TO ME
finally! Look! look!! I've got a loveless story!!! see? Aren't you happy? Well... ENJOY!!!
XxXxX
Soubi's POV
I wish he would believe me. I wish he would listen and believe me when I say 'I love you'. But he doesn't. And in a way, I have only myself to blame. I suppose I lost his trust the moment I kissed him without warning, even after I told him I wouldn't do anything. Or maybe it's his fault for being so sensitive.
as much as he says he doesn't believe me, deep inside I know he feels something for me. Something along the lines of desire, warmth, and affection. But he also hates the way I break him. Twisting around his words and feelings, bending him to my will, ripping him up inside and slowly driving him into hopeless insanity. He hates the way my voice and my hands can do so much to him, making him weak. And I hate myself for it as well.
I love his eyes. They way they tell me their owner wants something. And yet I don't know what it is. I can't figure out what exactly he wants. What is it that he desires so much that his eyes must tell me? Love? Could it be love he desires? Obviously! Because it's the only thing I 'don't' give him.
Even more I love his voice. It's high pitched, telling you that he is still young but commanding... when he wants it to be. His voice gets me excited, especially when he's angry. It's...electrifying.
Of everything I love the taste of him. Very much so if he's trying to act sexy for me. Sometimes it's actually hard to control myself. The way he tastes... it drives me wild! So sweet, so young, so pure and innocent. And yet he knows things he shouldn't at his age.
I hate , absolutely despise his mother. For all the pain she's caused him. I wish I could just take him away from there. Or at least take away his pain. But without out trust he doesn't let me in, he doesn't let me near him. And yet I can infiltrate him so easily.
I suppose I have a rivalry with his friend Yuiko. One day, maybe, she might find a way to get him to like her back. I highly doubt it though. But I can't be too careful. Who knows, with the kind of love she gives him, he might think she is better than me.
Hitomi Shinonome , that poor woman is in love with me... but I belong to him and him only. I wish she would understand that. I would feel awful if I ever left him, I can't do things like that. Seimei told me not to.
The fact that I listen to seimei's orders even after he's dead, is killing him. That and the fact that I lie all the time... but if I ever told the truth... would he still love me? Does he even love me now? Yes ... he does. He just won't admit it.
What if he left me because of it? What if he left me because I lied?
I think I'd go crazy if he ever left me. After Seimei died I was no better than (as Kio put it) a zombie. I can't survive without a master. And now I have him, I have so much to thank him for.
And even at the age of 12 he is strong and brave but in so much pain, slowly on the inside , he's dying. And I know I'm only helping that along. Why didn't I just tell him the truth in the starting? Maybe he would trust me... maybe he would love me the way I love him...
I want him to listen and believe my words when I say them.
I know it hurts when I say it but "I love you, Ritsuka" after I say this I kiss you, hoping you believe me.
once I desire something...
I cannot undesire it.
I cannot even try to resist.
I will desire it until I have it.
But there is no end.
No matter how much I take, I still want.
like it? hate it? tell me! RXR please!!!