When she considered Dr. Culpin and her continuing interest in getting to know him better, she knew that the first move here was key as well. It wasn't that Dr. Culpin - Millais, in her head - wasn't interested. She knew he was, even though Millais was careful to keep their interactions professional. She also knew it wasn't just for her looks, though he did seem to appreciate those. No, what he really liked was her mind. It fit, since what she liked was his mind. He was handsome, to be sure, but that wasn't enough for her. She'd had friends who chose handsome, vapid men, and she couldn't have borne it. She much preferred a man who could and would discuss matters of substance.
So it wasn't that he wasn't interested in her, nor that she wasn't interested in him. It was his sense of honor and decency. He knew the differences in their stations and the rules dividing them. He was an established doctor with a flat in one of the few decent areas of Whitechapel while she was a nurse of less than five years who lived on a hall with twenty other nurses. He was in his thirties while she was only in her twenties. He had a staff position at the best hospital in London and could easily have had a practice on Harley Street, though he didn't seem to want one. She could be dismissed for violating her standing orders at any time. All things considered, if this was to move forward, and she very much hoped that it would, she would have to make the first move.
Once she'd decided that, it was just a matter of deciding how and what that move should be. Poor Laura had been endlessly patient with her as she discussed it in the privacy of parks, shops, and trams, since she couldn't risk talking about it on hospital grounds. Ultimately, they'd decided she'd know when it was the right time and the right way, though that was a frustrating decision. She'd much rather have a table of symptoms to analyze than a romance to plan, assuming of course that it was going to be a romance. There was always the possibility that he'd turn her down out of decency. She very much hoped he wouldn't, though.
The right time, as they suspected, made itself abundantly clear when it eventually arrived. She'd been working with the gas main victims all day, which was as much stepping around policemen as it was removing shrapnel and splinting limbs. Finally, though, the patients had been sent to the wards or theatre, the policemen were gone, and the hospital was quiet. They'd been working to clean the exam room together, mostly in silence, and on one level, she didn't want to disturb that silence. It had been a long day and she knew Millais was exhausted. She was exhausted too, but she had a habit for days like these. It was the perfect opportunity.
"Do you know what I like to do on days like these?" she asked him. He glanced up to indicate that he was listening and interested, but didn't speak, so she continued.
"I buy a ticket for the tram, I sit on the top deck, and I feel the wind in my hair," she told him, watching as he huffed a chuckle. "Just until Hyde Park and back."
He still didn't say anything, so she took her courage in both hands and spoke again.
"Would you care to join me?"
The silence after that seemed deafening to her ears. She was more than a little worried he was going to turn her down. A woman asking a man to join her on an outing was not quite done, as they both knew, not to mention a nurse asking a doctor. As these things went, it was almost always the doctor who started it.
He looked at her intently and said, to her great relief, in a voice that was deep with exhaustion and perhaps something else, "I can't think of anything I'd like to do more."
Her entire brain flooded with relief. It was as if she'd just had Sisyphus' rock removed from her shoulders. He'd said yes! He'd agreed to spend time with her outside of the hospital and outside of their meetings to study medicine. Her gambit had worked. She'd made a successful first move. With that done, she suspected he was willing and able to make the second.
She looked forward to it.