Author's Note: The title for this fic comes from the 2013 Goo Goo Dolls song, "Rebel Beat", and that song as a whole is sort of my inspiration for this fic. I also made an AU Gossip Girl fanvideo set to the song… I had to make the video for a contest I was in, and that vid is actually what inspired me to write this fic.
I will link to the fanvideo at the end of the fic, after the final chapter. ;) I'll do it at the very end and not here at the beginning because the vid contains spoilers. ;)
My fic takes place around the second-to-last episode of the series (6x09 "The Revengers"), and most of what happened leading up to that point is part of the canon for my fic. However, the fic deviates from the canon of the show at a few key points.
#1) In this fic's universe, Dan & Blair never dated. The events in the season 5 Valentine's Day episode (5x15 "Crazy, Cupid, Love") didn't quite transpire and definitely not 5x16/5x17. Dan & Blair never had any of those kisses from 5x15 onwards in the show. Their history is just that Dan remains feeling unrequited love for Blair and she thinks of him as only a friend. (The fic is pro-Dair, so don't worry, she will change her mind lol.)
Also… Dan's season 6 journey was probably a bit different because of the changes with what I'm saying didn't happen between him and Blair. :P
For instance, in my fic he's still in the Brooklyn apartment, living with Rufus (and has been ever since Lily & Rufus split up). It isn't quite true to season 6 but just go with it. Also I don't think he'd be writing those exposés nor be in contact with Georgina in quite the same way. He's the Dan we knew and loved from seasons 1-5 but now, as far as all of the other characters are concerned, in a season 6 context.
#2) In this fic's universe, Dan was never Gossip Girl. Don't worry about the identity of Gossip Girl. For all intents and purposes, I neither know nor care. All I know is it wasn't any of the main characters we learned to know and love over the course of the show.
And finally
#3) Chuck & Blair actually did have sex in season 6. In my new universe, let's say they had frequent sex and their whole deal was just that they wouldn't publicly be happy together nor would they get married till Bart Bass was taken down, instead of the deal being "no sex". So they had to keep things super private and had to delay the wedding they were both hoping to have. You'll understand why when you read the chapter below. ;)
Finally, I would like to thank lilybarthes & you-define-beauty (FYI those are their tumblr names) for their help as betas for this fic. ;) They both proofread for me and helped a lot in various ways, helping me to make this fic the best it could be. ;)
Okay… I think that's all you need to know for now. Please enjoy my fic!
You Can Take Everything From Me... 'Cause This Is All I Need
Chapter 1: "Bart Bass Kills His Own Son"
Blair had been in denial ever since she'd heard the news that a Bass Industries airplane went off the radar. Chuck had made a deal with his father, so sure that Bart would never harm his own son. The city had been honoring him as Man of the Year and she had been there when she'd noticed a television reporter mentioning the Bass name. She'd seen Bart's emotionless face and she'd heard the casual way he'd commented about how he'd hoped that wasn't the plane Chuck was on. Blair had looked at him in horror, realizing, as Bart stared into her eyes, that he was actually claiming credit for whatever tragic event had caused the plane to disappear into thin air. But she hadn't fully let it sink in. She had managed to convince herself that Chuck wasn't dead – that unless they actually found his body, he might merely be kidnapped or in hiding or any of a variety of other things. He was missing, but not actually gone permanently.
It had only been two days since that horrible evening, but Blair missed her fiancé terribly. She was just waiting for confirmation that he was okay. Sure, everyone around her was suspecting the worst had happened, but Blair knew that if someone as evil as Bart Bass could come back from the dead, Chuck could also surprise them all. Blair spent a lot of time with Serena and Nate that week, continuing to try to figure out a way to get the FBI to put Bart in federal prison. They worked hard, hoping to find a new way to trick him into a confession since their previous plan had failed miserably. Serena and Nate were worried about Chuck too, and neither one wanted to bring up the scary fact that he might truly be gone forever. Chuck had been Nate's best friend for his entire life, and he'd been a pretty good friend and later step-brother to Serena as well. They wanted to believe the best and follow Blair's example. Maybe he was alive but unable to communicate that fact.
Lily was in her penthouse apartment, sitting alone. Her daughter had been spending all of her time with Blair over the past couple of days. Serena didn't even come home to sleep, but Lily wasn't worried. She knew how hard Blair was taking Chuck's disappearance and she was just glad her daughter was such a great friend. Eric, of course, was off at college, and Lily didn't want to worry him with the news about Chuck until they knew more. She hoped her son was still completely unaware that anything might be wrong. Her husband, Bart, was out doing business-related things, or so he claimed. She really didn't care what he was doing – she was just grateful he wasn't home. She'd realized she was wrong to ever believe Bart Bass was a good guy, and she was actually afraid of him as of late. She felt bad for ever doubting Chuck's word and now she just desperately wished she could tell him how sorry she was.
Her phone rang, so she answered it.
"Hello?"
"Hello. Is this Lily Van der Woodsen?"
She thought about it. Her name was still legally Lily Bass, but she wished she could revert back to her children's surname. She didn't want to be Bart Bass' wife anymore.
"Yes, this is she. May I ask who's calling?" she asked politely.
"This is Search and Rescue."
Lily tensed up.
"We are very sorry to have to inform you that Charles Bass' body was found. He is dead. He kept his identification and emergency contact information in waterproof sleeves, so we knew he'd want us to call you first."
Lily didn't reply. She was frozen, barely able to maintain a grip on her cell phone, let alone say anything. She loved Chuck like a son. He couldn't be dead. Children don't die before their parents do. That just wasn't how the world worked. She realized someone on the other end of the line was still talking.
"Are you still there, ma'am?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I…" she trailed off.
"That's alright. We understand how difficult this news must be. We do need someone to come down to identify the body, however. Just so that we can be completely sure it's Charles and not someone else. You can come… or it can be anyone who knew him well. Can you arrange that?"
"Uh…." She was barely able to comprehend what they were asking. Identify his body? The thought made her feel physically sick. "Yes, I can arrange that. Tell me where," she replied, finding a pen and paper. She wrote down the address and was told to try, if possible, to make it there within 24 hours.
She sank back into the couch cushions. Chuck was dead.
Serena's phone vibrated.
"Oh. It's my mom," she explained to Nate and Blair, leaving them at Blair's bed, which they had been using as a table as they continued to devise their plan to get Bart Bass arrested. She stood up and answered the call.
"Serena, honey," Lily said softly, trying to keep her composure for the sake of her daughter. "I… I just got a phone call from Search and Rescue. They… they found Chuck." Serena didn't like the tone of her mom's voice. It didn't sound like the Chuck they found was alive and well. "Actually," Lily started to clarify, "they found what they believe to be his body."
"Oh my God," Serena breathed.
Nate and Blair turned their heads toward her, alarmed by the seriousness of Serena's reaction.
"Sweetie, I… I can't do it alone. They want me to..." she hesitated, then quickly blurted out, "identify the body."
Blair stood up and walked toward her best friend who now seemed to be frozen in shock.
"Serena? What is it?" she asked quietly, trying not to be too rude as she interrupted the phone call.
"Can you please come with me?" Lily asked desperately. Serena could tell her mother was on the verge of tears.
"Um, yeah. I can do that," Serena answered quietly, ignoring Blair. She hung up the phone slowly. She was letting the news sink in, not even realizing quite yet that she'd need to tell her two closest friends news that would completely break their hearts.
"Serena…?" Nate said slowly, realizing just how upset she was. He joined the girls on the other side of the room, and reached out a hand to touch her arm, instinctively wanting to comfort her. At his touch, she jerked her head up and let her gaze reach his. She decided to get the news out quickly, because there was no good way to break this to either of them.
"They found Chuck's body. My mom wants me to go and help her identify it and confirm it's really him."
Nate's eyes went wide and he quickly took his hand away from its comforting position on Serena's arm. She then tried to give Blair a hug, but Blair chose to back away from both of them, heading toward her bed.
"He's really dead?" Nate asked incredulously, his voice breaking a bit.
Serena nodded as Blair sat down on her bedspread. Nate looked down at the ground. Everyone felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. A silent tear fell down Nate's cheek and when he blinked, more started to fall. Serena leaned in to hug him and while still holding him in her arms, she looked over at Blair, who seemed to be staring off into space, her mind a million miles away.
About twenty-four hours later, Rufus and Dan were finishing up a nice but quiet meal together when the phone rang. Rufus answered it.
"It's your sister!" he informed Dan, though Dan could have guessed it was Jenny from his dad's cheerful tone. He knew how much Rufus loved and missed Jenny. Both he and his father sometimes wished she was still here with them in New York.
Dan noticed his father's face go from smiling to somber very quickly, and he waited with bated breath to hear what his dad might say next.
"Oh no," he said very seriously.
Dan was sure something was horribly wrong now, and he was starting to get worried that Jenny was hurt.
"How are they all taking it?" Rufus continued. After a brief pause, he replied again. "I can only imagine."
Dan was just confused now and tried to be patient. As soon as his dad hung up the phone, he'd find out what was going on.
Sure enough, Rufus put the receiver back in its console and then immediately turned to look at Dan.
"So Jenny still keeps in touch with Eric, as you know," Rufus started. "And well… he just informed her that Chuck Bass is dead."
"What?!" Dan almost yelped out in surprise.
"I know, I can hardly believe it myself," Rufus replied.
"How… did he… you know? What happened?" Dan asked.
"Eric told Jenny that Serena and her friends all think Bart Bass murdered him, actually."
Dan gaped at his father.
"But for now," Rufus added, "it has been treated as a tragic accident. It was a plane crash."
Dan's mind jumped to Blair. He knew how much Blair loved Chuck. He had resented Chuck for getting the girl, but he had never wished Chuck dead. He knew how happy Blair was when she was with him, as much as it pained him to see it. He wanted Blair, but more than anything he wanted her to be happy. He had been there the previous year when Chuck had almost died in the limo accident and Blair had been a mess. He would never have wished for Chuck to actually die, especially not when it would cause the woman he loved so much pain. He wondered how she was coping.
Rufus, meanwhile, was worried about Lily. He knew how much Lily had cared for Chuck. He'd never actually gotten to know Chuck all that well, and he had never felt nearly as close to his own step-children, Serena and Eric, but they always still had their mother. Chuck had no one except Lily, and he could understand why the two of them had bonded. He was also very worried about the Bart Bass of it all. If what Jenny had relayed to him was true, and Bart Bass was getting away with murder, then Lily was in danger. Lily had treated him in a way he had not been willing to forgive, and he was trying to move on, but deep down he still loved her. He couldn't just stand by and let her stay in harm's way.
Blair looked at the calendar on her bedroom wall and thought about the date. Her chest physically hurt with grief. It felt like her heart was literally broken. Chuck was gone. Gone. And there was no way she'd ever see him again. It had only been about thirty-six hours since she'd heard the news, and even less since Serena and her mother had officially identified the body and confirmed the worst. She kept staring at the calendar.
She realized she was late. Her period should have arrived the day Chuck had left for Moscow - the day when he died. She had been so distracted by all of the craziness on that day, and every day since, that she hadn't even realized it until this moment now, lying in bed, staring at the calendar. She wasn't too worried though. Her cycle tended to become irregular whenever she was overly stressed. That was why she'd had a pregnancy scare five years ago – she had been cheating on Nate with Chuck and the whole thing had stressed her out so much that her period didn't come on schedule. And now… what could be more stressful than everything that had happened with Bart Bass that had led up to Chuck's death? Of course her body would be reacting to that.
She didn't want to be pregnant with Chuck's baby – at least not if Chuck wasn't going to be around to raise it with her. She wasn't sure she was ready to be pregnant again; it was too soon after her miscarriage. She had been heartbroken over the death of her and Louis' unborn child. She didn't want to face the risk of that again so soon. That was why she had gone on the pill and had been being so careful to take it every single day. She felt fairly confident that she hadn't missed a day. However, as she thought about it more, she wasn't 100% sure that she had never missed a day. She thought back, trying to remember each morning, and the memories became painful as something Chuck-related seeped its way into each and every one.
As she lay there, missing Chuck, she realized a part of her did want to be pregnant with Chuck's baby. She had really wanted a baby last year. Being pregnant again now wouldn't be that bad, would it? Despite all the reasons she didn't want that, she was desperate to hold onto him. To find a way he would not really be dead, or at least not completely. If they had actually conceived a baby before his death, Chuck could live on through their child. She smiled briefly at the thought.