Epov
I'd had enough. I couldn't take it anymore. I just had to get back. Back to her. Back to my Bella. To my only sanctuary. I'd lived in the pain of her absence long enough. Too long. There was no way I was going to live without her anymore. Even if I could possibly by some strange miracle, manage it
I picked up my phone and arranged for my flight tickets to Seattle, then called my family to let them know that was i coming back home. Of course Alice had seen my decision to come home. I made her promise that she wouldn't see Bella till I had begged for her forgiveness. She'd agreed. Of course what else could she do?
Bella's face that was always at the back of the lids of my eyes smiled at me. It was the smile of acceptance and forgiveness. I could even see her love in the smile. But would she accept me back after everything I'd done to her? I hoped she could, it would be beyond agony to not be accepted back by her. How would I be able to deal with that?
'Stop worrying about that right now, Edward! It will be dealt with when it happens!' I ordered myself
After my flight landed in Seattle I ran the rest of the way to forks. Making an effort not to seen by any human which wasn't much of a problem. And then straight to the home of one and only love. When I reached it was about twilight. Charlie wasn't at home and heard Bella heading up the stairs. Something was wrong about the way it sounded; it seemed very tired and dragged. I shrugged, perhaps she she'd had a long day. I jumped through her window and into her room.
It was dark in her room. Of course i could still see even in the dark.
But when the door opened, in came a very inhuman looking Bella. Looking much thinner than I remembered her to be, her cheeks bones very clearly visible. she was paler than usual or natural for her, a dead look on her face as though there wasn't much that caught her interest these days, as if she hadn't smile or laughed in a long time, as if she'd never known it.
I felt a stab of pain as I realized it was own doing. But I held my place next to the window as I waited for her to spot me in her room.
How would she take my being here? Would she accept me back into her life? Would she listen to my explanation calmly or would she be angry and send me out of her room?
Before I thought through it and tried to act it was too late.
She walked into the room and turned on the light. Then she looked up to see me standing by her window.
Bpov
I had a strange feeling about something all of a sudden; I couldn't put my finger on what it was. It was dark outside and Charlie had gone over to Billy's place for some reason he wouldn't tell me.
I sighed and headed up the stairs to grab my books. I still had an essay to finish.
I went into my room and turned on the light in my room. When I started to walk towards the bed I felt someone with me in the room. I looked up to see a god like creature standing by the window. why was i seeing him now? i wasn't in any kind of danger! or Was he really standing there or was my imagination going a little too out of hand. forced, maybe. Maybe, he was really here because my imagination could never
be good enough to really remember every little detail of what he looked like. He was too beautiful for any human mind to remember exactly what he look like.
I blinked. Checking to see if it was a hallucination.
Nothing he remained there. As perfect as ever. Much more beautiful and flawless than the rest of my hallucinations.
I took a step towards my hallucination.
"Bella," he spoke. The sound was music to my ears. It was the same perfect voice of my memories. The soft velvet voice. It seemed like eons since I'd heard it. My heart rate started to build up, so much that could almost hear it.
I wanted to see if he was really here or if imagination was really getting a little too out of hand.
I took another step towards him and reached out to him, he closed his eyes as I touched his face. It was just as cold as ever confirming his presence.
Could it be that he was really here? no! it couldn't be! Hadn't he told me that he didn't love me anymore? Hadn't he told me that he'd moved on? Then what was he doing here? his being here obviously meant something.
I savored the moment; afraid he might just disappear even under my touch.
He opened his eyes to look at me. His beautiful eyes were liquid topaz and placed his hand over mine – that was still on his face – to hold it there. He sighed. Oh, i'd been hearing his voice so much i didn't even realize it.
"I've missed you so much Bella," he told me.
"You're really here aren't you? Or have I lost it?"
He looked at me with sad eyes. He turned his face and kissed the palm of my hand.
"I really am here, Bella,"
I stroked his face with my free hand. "It is you," I whispered, my voice cracked with emotion as I said the words. "I've missed you too, Edward, but what are you doing here?"
"Bella?" he said, cradling my face in his hands
"What is it?" i whispered looking up into his eyes
"Bella, i'm so sorry about everything! I love you, with everything I've got, more than everything in the world. Do you think you could forgive me . . .? I hope you can because honestly don't know how I'd go on without you,"
Him telling me he loved me was music to my ears of course; my heart began to sing at the confession.
But the apology wasn't, I didn't understand his need to apologize. Didn't he know he'd be forgiven?
"I love you, too, Edward, but you don't have to ask for my forgiveness, you came back that's all I could ever ask," I stoked his beautiful face. Losing myself in the feel of it.
That seemed to be enough for him. He kissed me fiercely This kiss was so different from all those others we'd shared. He wasn't as controlled as he used to be, in fact a little reckless for him.
When he broke away to let me breathe, i laid my head against his chest and buried my face in his shoulder inhaling his sweet scent as i tried to calm by breathing as he breathed in the smell of me. His arms encircling around me, holding me, kissing my hair. i was in heaven. i was home being in these arms.
"It feels so good to be with you again," I whispered in a small voice. I could feel the emotions starting to overcome me. Tears started streaming down my face.
"Don't cry," he said trying to kiss my tears, but just they come down faster than ever. Edward tightened his arms around me, pulled me
into his lap rocking back and forth in a comforting way, but this made them come down even faster. Was that even possible? But i realized i was crying for the both of us.
Epov
Soon after she came into the room, turned on the light and spotted me here, i thought she was gonna blow, start to scream and yell at me for being in her room or even showing my face here after what i'd done to her so long ago. Just what I deserved of course, but she didn't. A blank look flitted across her face soon after she saw me.
What was she thinking about that was delaying her reaction towards my being in her room? Once again I cursed the confounded silence of her mind.
She blinked once as if to see if she was dreaming. My dead heart started to feel heavy. All I wanted to do was just grab her and hold her and never ever let go!
Her expression turned confused now.
I studied her as she tried to comprehend what she was seeing. A part of my vampire mind also kept tabs on every one of her movements.
There circles under her eyes like she lacked sleep, she looked a lot thinner than she used to be. Her eyes had little life in them, but the little life had only come after she blinked before that it was like ... empty like no-one was there, like she was dead in the literal sense of the word, just her body was mechanically working.
Bella. My Bella. What had I done to her? This just further proved my being a monster what other being could hurt such a giving person this deeply?
She took a step towards me just as I said "Bella,"
She took another step and reached for me. I closed my eyes as her hand touched my face. It was heaven to feel her hand against my face again. I'd miss her so much, I just wanted to crush my lips against hers, but I couldn't there things I needed to know first.
I opened my eyes to find her eyes looking at me, taking in my face. I put my hand over hers, holding it there. I sighed. I'd missed her so much!
"I missed you so much, Bella" I confessed to her.
"You're really here aren't you? Or have I lost it?"
It pained me to know that she thought that she'd lost it, is that what she was thinking of when she came into the room? Is that what the blank look had meant?
I turned my head so I could kiss the palm her hand to let her know that I really, was here with her. "I really am here, Bella,"
She stroked my cheek with her free hand
"It is you," she whispered. Her voice broke with emotion as she said it. "I've missed you too, Edward." Then the tears started forming and trickling down her beautiful face.
That was music to my ears, so much, that my heart wanted to sing and dance. I pulled her to the bed and made her sit and I sat next to her. We'd stalled, no, I'd stalled enough. Time to get down to business. I needed see if I was forgiven and I hoped I was even though I quite deserved it if she didn't. not after all that I put her through.
"Bella?" I started, taking both her hands in mine.
"Yes?" she said softly, her beautiful eyes looking into mine, searching them for something.
"Bella, i'm so sorry about everything! I love you, with everything I've got, more than everything in the world." I professed my love to her. And in whisper. "Do you think you could forgive me, Bella? I hope you can because honestly don't know how I'd go on without you,"
For second she looked confused, didn't she understand my love for her?
"I love you, too, Edward," my heart warmed at her confession and sang with joy as she told me she loved me even after what I'd done to her "But you don't have to ask for my forgiveness, you came back that's all I could ever ask," she reached towards my face, stroking it and i savored the moment. this time was even better knowing that i'd been forgiven, that i'd been accepted back into her life, that i could still hold her in my arms and be able to call her mine.
That was all the conformation I needed. I kissed her the fiercely. As fierce as i could be with her. This time i was a little reckless, and thankfully i didn't hurt her and she didn't seem to mind, only pleased.
I broke off the kiss a little too soon – for me – so she could breathe, she laid her head against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her hair, i hadn't had enough of her.
She was the first to break the comfortable silence. "It feels so good to be with you again," she said in a small voice. I could hear it in her voice that she was beginning to be overcome with the emotion of our reunion. It made my heart leap with joy at her admission, because that was more than precisely how I felt.
That was when tears started to stream down her beautiful face. It broke my heart to see them, hadn't she just told me that it felt good to be together again?
"Don't cry," i told her, kissed her tears away, but, her tears just came down faster than ever. I tightened my grip around her and pulled her over to the bed sitting her on my lap rocking her back and forth. Just holding her and till she fell asleep because of her exhaustion.
I was glad she accepted me back into her life, what surprised me was how easily she'd forgiven me after all those months of abandonment. I pushed that thought away, it was not a happy thought. But where i was right now, with Bella in my arms and being able to hold her again while she slept, knowing that i had her forgiveness.