Summary: Many random things happen when it comes to the lives of the Doctor and Martha. For instance: Martha's MSN gets hacked into by the Doctor, the TARDIS, Rose, a Judoon, the Master, and Jack Harkness! …After watching a Top Gear special, the Doctor starts having nightmares about killer Jesus action figures! The Doctor and Martha try batt-a-rappin'! …And a lot more : D
A/N: Most of this is, like, abbreviations, so sorry if it sucks a bit LOL
1 – Martha's MSN
Martha and the Doctor – Couple
"I wish I had someone to talk to." Martha sighed, sitting in her flat on her own, wondering why she'd decided to take a weekend off of space and time travel, and her Doctor. She idly turned her laptop on, logging onto MSN and changing her screen name to 'Missing-my-Doctor'. Suddenly, a conversation popped up.
Lonely-Doc: Hiya!
Missing-my-Doctor: How'd u get my addy?
Lonely-Doc: Tapped into the system. Anyways, how r u?
Missing-my-Doctor: Bored out of my head, u?
Lonely-Doc: Same lol
Missing-my-Doctor: Wuu2?
Lonely-Doc: nm, just chillin. I'm hungry lol XD
Missing-my-Doctor: U wanna come over 4 dinner?
Happy-Doc: Yay!
Martha changed her screen name.
Awesome: aww, ur not lonely any more neither am I now lol
Happy-Doc: lol I'll be over in 2
Conversation ended
Martha closed the conversation, walking into the kitchen to make some lunch for her and the Doctor, and placed her laptop on the table. After deciding on Bolognese, she heard a bleep from her laptop. Another conversation.
TARDIS: hey Martha, got a favour to ask you
Awesome: …
TARDIS: he tapped in through me so I have access too.
Awesome: ooooh. So, what's the favour?
TARDIS: can you tell the Doctor that he needs to pick up his dry cleaning? I keep forgetting and I can't talk whilst I'm in the time vortex thingy lol
Awesome: lol sure
TARDIS: thx Martha : D
Awesome: np cya l8r
TARDIS: cya
Conversation ended
Turning to the bubbling pot on the hob, she started the spaghetti and then took out the mince and sauce. Just as she was stirring them, a sound very difficult to describe told her that the Doctor had arrived. She quickly changed her screen name to 'Doctor-&-Martha'.
"Hey there!" The Doctor smiled as he stepped into the kitchen. "Whatchya cooking?"
"Bolognese. Didn't have anything else." Martha said as she turned to him, leaning against the wall and grinning at her. "Oh, the TARDIS asked me to remind you that you need to pick up your dry cleaning."
"Yeah…wait, you spoke to the TARDIS?" The Doctor scratched his head in bemusement.
"Through MSN."
"Ooooh."
Another bleep from the laptop rang out. The Doctor swivelled it round to face him.
Rose-kicks-butt: Oi Martha Jones! U think u can steal my Doctor then you've got another thing coming!!!
Doctor-&-Martha: Hey, don't talk to her like that!
Rose-kicks-butt: Doctor, that u?
Doctor-&-Martha: yh, but I'm not gonna talk to you
Rose-kicks-butt: y not?
Doctor-&-Martha: cos you're being mean to my gf
Rose-kicks-butt: ok, ur over me, kl, so howz every1?
Doctor-&-Martha: I'm kl, TARDIS is kl, Jack as far as I know is kl – he can't die tho so big shocker
Rose-kicks-butt: ok kl then cya around
Doctor-&-Martha: Bubi
Conversation ended
"Am I your girlfriend? Seriously?"
"Urm…didn't you know that?"
"SQUEE!!!!!!" Martha squealed, bear-hugging the Doctor, who gave her a winded 'Oof'.
Martha continued with the Bolognese, when suddenly 6 contacts were added to her contacts list. Total contacts were then 6. The contact list read:
Happy-Doc
TARDIS
Rose-kicks-butt
JPUTM-My-Puppy-Is-So-CUTE
Destruction-Is-Nice
I'm-Free-On-Thursday
"Who the hell are they?" Martha said, staring at the contacts on her screen. Passing the cursor over each name, she saw the hotmail addresses.
Happy-Doc - doctorwho? TARDIS . co . uk
TARDIS – faultystolenunreliablefantastic1950s-chic TARDIS . co . uk
Rose-kicks-butt – coldplayfan#01 parallelword . co . uk
JPUTM-My-Puppy-Is-So-Cute – SuperArmySoldier judoon . co . uk
Destruction-is-Nice – IamyourMaster beyondthegrave . co . uk
I'mFreeOnThursday - jackharknessubersxc torchwood . co . uk
"Hey, how about we put them all in a conversation and see what happens!" The Doctor grinned, full of enthusiasm. Before Martha could respond, he had put everyone in one big conversation.
Doctor-&-Martha has added TARDIS; Rose-kicks-butt; I'm-Free-On-Thursday; Happy-Doc to the conversation
The Doctor flipped his own laptop open and logged in before adding himself at the end. Martha changed her screen name to '42'.
42: hi everyone!
TARDIS: hi
Happy-Doc: anyone got a banana?
Rose-kicks-butt: lol hey Doctor
Happy-Doc: hey Rose! TARDIS we got any bananas?
TARDIS: no
I'm-Free-On-Thursday: u can try mine
42: ewww that's pervy
I'm-Free-On-Thursday: i didn't mean that, you sicko, anyway u wanna come out on a date with me?
Rose-kicks-butt: who r u talking to?
I'm-Free-On-Thursday: all of you
TARDIS: WTF? I'm a machine
I'm-Free-On-Thursday: except 4 TARDIS, sorry babe
TARDIS: o ok :)
I'm-Free-On-Thursday has signed out
42 has added JPUTM-My-Puppy-Is-So-Cute to the conversation
JPUTM-My-Puppy-Is-So-Cute: I got a new puppy, it's adorable!
Happy-Doc: what JPUTM mean?
JPUTM-My-Puppy-Is-So-Cute: Judoon Platoon Upon the Moon
Happy-Doc: yeah I made that up
42: so, how come ur on my contact list?
JPUTM-My-Puppy-Is-So-Cute: I dunno
Rose-kicks-butt: what're Judoon?
Happy-Doc: big police rhino thingies.
JPUTM-My-Puppy-Is-So-Cute: I'M NOT A RHINO!!!! WAAAAAAAA:(
JPUTM-My-Puppy-Is-So-Cute has left the conversation. He's crying now, I hope you're happy!!!!
42: ...
Happy-Doc: oopsies lol
42: lol you're so cute when you say oopsies :)
Happy-Doc: thx huni :)
Rose-kicks-butt: hey, ex gf over here!
Happy-Doc: soz lol
Rose-kicks-butt: lol dw
TARDIS: I'm gonna hit the sack
42: u sleep?
TARDIS: Occasionally
Happy-Doc: me + Martha will come back after dinner, k?
TARDIS: Ok, but only wake me if it's important
TARDIS has left the conversation
42 has added Destruction-Is-Nice to the conversation.
Destruction-Is-Nice: Hi fools
Happy-Doc: hey, howz death?
Destruction-Is-Nice: All right I guess, but I'm stuck in that ring so I can come back at any time
Happy-Doc: O poop I knew I shouldn't have left that empty soul-holding ring next to your burning body, it was bound to happen doi silly me :)
42: we'd just beat you again anyways
Rose-kicks-butt: who is this?
Destruction-Is-Nice: the Master, second-last Timelord lol I'm trapped in a ring
Rose-kicks-butt: I'm bored, gonna go listen to Coldplay so smell yah l8r
42: bye
Happy-Doc: Bubi
Rose-kicks-butt has left the conversation. God, this job is sooooo boring.
Destruction-Is-Nice: is '42' Martha?
42: well duh lol
Destruction-Is-Nice: lol anyways I g2g Lucy's cooked the dinner
42: tell her I said hi
Happy-Doc: I'm hungry
Destruction-Is-Nice has left the conversation
Happy-Doc has signed off
Are you sure you want to sign off?
PLOOP
Laptop shutting sound
"Dinner's ready." Martha smiled as she dished the Bolognese up. The Doctor ate his quickly, eager to get back to the TARDIS.