It is time for some delicious Geoffrey angst. This fic will contain Ike/Elincia and one-sided Geoffrey/Elincia. I do not like Ike/Elincia, but it's perfect for an angst fic. I don't think that I will ever write happy Ike/Elincia. For me, it's a paiting that doesn't work. Anyway, enjoy the fic.
Edited version. Content was not changed.
Geoffrey ran through the now quiet streets of Sienne. They had defeated the goddess and every Laguz and Beorc in the city was in the cathedral and celebrated. Everyone but his queen. It´s not that Geoffrey was concerned about her safety - at least not more than normally -, but today he wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her that he loves her and ask her for her hand in marriage. Earlier he had seen her disappearing from the partying crowd and had tried to follow her, but a drunken Kieran had hindered him. When he finally could escape, she had already disappeared. So now he ran through the streets of Sienne to find her.
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it´s breaking
He scurried past dark houses, quiet alleys and empty streets without a trace of his queen. His boots smacked loudly on the cobbles and echoed through the backstreets. He had left his armour in the palace, but even without it he tired very quickly. The fight earlier had exhausted him. Panting, he stopped at a crossroad. He wiped the sweat off his brow and looked around. It seemed like he had reached the poorer district of the city. After a glance over his shoulder, he detected that he already ran quite a distance. The tower of guidance was nothing more than a bar against the sky. ´Where is she?´ he asked himself and continued his search.
Then he heard a low murmur. Curious he followed the noise. A deeper murmur answered. Geoffrey passed the corner of a house and stopped abruptly. He felt like someone had slapped him. In the dark alley, Queen Elincia and Ike stood holding each other tight. Elincia stroked Ike's face gently and looked him in the eye. Their mouths were just a centimetre apart.
"I love you, Ike," Elincia whispered. Ike bent forward and pressed his lips to hers.
When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Geoffrey was rooted to the spot and didn't dare to avert his eyes. After a cruel infinity, they separated. Ike looked at the emerald queen with a loving gaze.
"I love you too, Elincia." A big grin appeared on her face. "Do you want to be my wife?" Geoffrey couldn't stand to hear the answer and fled.
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
For you
He hid in his room in the palace of the Apostle. He closed the door with a loud crash and slid down the hard wood. He felt sick, psychically and physically. He tried to suppress the sickness, but it didn't work. With his hand over his mouth, he ran to the bathroom and vomited in an empty bucket. He coughed and panted heavily; the stomach acid burned in his throat. When the pain was finally reduced to a slight scratching, he stood up trembly and walked over to the sink. He splattered some water in his face and cleaned his mouth thoroughly. When he looked up in the mirror, he saw an unfamiliar face. A young, blue-haired man, exhausted, weary and beaten was in the mirror. In the corner of his eyes gathered tears and some of them were already flowing down his pale cheeks. Geoffrey staggered to his bed and let himself fall. For a few seconds he just lay deadly silent. Then he sniffed. A sniff turned into many sniffs, which grew into loud sobs. When he couldn't stand it anymore, he buried his face in the pillows and screamed. He screamed until his voice broke and fell asleep from exhaustion.
Light up your face in gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
The next morning his sister Lucia came to wake him, but when he turned around, she commanded him to stay in bed.
"You look terrible," she said and smoothed his hair out of his face. "You don't have a fever. I will send a healer later. You should rest now." Geoffrey was too weak to answer, so he nodded. Lucia smiled at him before she left his room. Geoffrey rolled onto his stomach and pressed his face into the pillow. He never wanted to get up again.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That´s the time you must keep on trying
The next time Geoffrey awoke, it was in the middle of the night. He stayed in bed until he became increasingly restless and hungry. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed. When his bare feet met the cold ground, he pulled them back, shivering. Someone had changed his attire while he was asleep. And when he looked around, he discovered a glass of a dark brown liquid on his nightstand. A small note was beside it, but Geoffrey didn't make the effort to read it. He was feeling fine. He was not physically sick, so he threw it out the window. Silently he put on his boots and stepped out in the hallway.
The whole palace was silent. From a few rooms he could hear snoring or in one case lowly moaning. Geoffrey passed them untouched. In former times he would have blushed at the thought of what was happening in this room. Now, he couldn't care less.
He wandered through the palace aimlessly. At first he thought about eating a bit, but he didn't know where the kitchen was. He made no big effort to find it anyway. Just when he walked through a seemingly empty corridor with a beautiful view to the capital, he came across a person he never wanted to see in his life ever again.
At one of the big windows stood Ike, clad in a simple white shirt and trousers, and looked at the morning sky. Geoffrey thought about turning around and acting like he never entered the corridor, but Ike had already noticed him. He beckoned the paladin to him with a big grin. After a few seconds of hesitation Geoffrey followed his invitation.
Smile, what´s the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
"How are you feeling, Geoffrey?" Ike asked cordially. Geoffrey stopped right next to Ike and stared on the peaceful city. The moonlight reflected on the windows and in the east the first beams of the morning sun crawled over the horizon.
"I'm fine," Geoffrey replied coldly. Ike didn't notice his cool attitude. He stretched his arms and yawned widely. "What are you doing out here?"
Ike chuckled lowly while scratching his neck. "I couldn't sleep. I'm too excited."
"Excited?"
"Indeed." Ike turned to the general with a blissful smile. Geoffrey raised quizzically an eyebrow and tried to act as indifferent as possible. Even though he felt the strong wish to strangle his counterpart to death.
"Elincia and I wanted to keep it a secret until we reach Crimea, but-" Geoffrey swallowed and forced himself to not avert his gaze. "- I fear I'll explode if I don't tell anybody." Ike took a deep breath. "Elincia and I are going to marry."
Grinning broadly, Ike waited for Geoffrey to answer. For Geoffrey, however, time seemed to stop. He heard the words, but they weren't just words. They were arrows, swords, lances that gouged deep into his soul. They tore him apart on the inside, crashed his happiness and choked his heart. Slowly and tantalizingly, he forced a smile on his face.
"Congratulations."
When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by
If you smile
"Thanks, man," Ike laughed and gave him a pat on the back. Geoffrey averted his gaze to the gleaming city. The smile never left his face, even when Ike continued to talk about their plans. With every word of their planned future, the weapons gouged deeper in Geoffrey´s soul. He clawed the stony windowsill. "- and we will live in Melior. I think I will miss the fort, but it´s worth." Geoffrey began to lose the feeling in his fingers. His smile grew wider. The first rays of sunlight reached the outskirts of the city and replaced the silver gleam of the moon by the gold of day. "- I know that it will be tough in the beginning. I will have a hard time to adjust to the courtly life, but for Elincia I would do anything."
´Shut up, you bastard!´ Geoffrey screamed inwardly. ´Are you blind! Don't you see what you are doing to me? Do you not see that you are tearing me apart?´ But Ike just continued talking.
"I hope Count Bastian will help me. And I can count on Lucia´s and your help, right?" Geoffrey thought he heard a breaking. Did he imagine it? The only thing he knew, was that a weird feeling of airiness took possession of him. "Geoffrey?"
With an angel-like smile Geoffrey turned around. "Certainly."
And maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
For you
"What a relief." Ike sighed. "I don't know what I would do without you. Thanks." He nodded to the paladin, suppressed a yawn and stretched again. "I think I'm going to bed now. Good night." Ike walked past Geoffrey. Geoffrey stood motionless. Shortly before Ike walked around the corner, he stopped and turned to the paladin. "Geoffrey? You should go to bed too. You don't look well." Geoffrey nodded and Ike left contented. A few minutes went by before Geoffrey set into motion. And when he did, he felt like he left something important on the cold stony ground.
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
He directly walked back to his room. For a little while he stood indecisive at the door. Finally he decided to take a bath. As he let the water flow in the bathtub, his gaze fell on his reflection. This face he didn't know either. The man still had blue hair, was still exhausted and weary, but his eyes weren't filled with pain and sorrow anymore. They were hollow. Slowly Geoffrey extended his hand when the mirror clouded over with steam. The man in the mirror copied his motion and when he touched the cool surface with his fingers, Geoffrey smiled. But his eyes remained empty. Geoffrey chuckled lowly, but there were no joy in his laugh.
"That´s me?" He let his arm fall to his side, his fingertips leaving four streaks on the glass. "That´s the new me?" He took off his clothes and let himself sink in the warm water. "A new me..." he whispered and laid his head on the hard rim of the bathtub.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That´s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what´s the use of crying
"They will never see them," Geoffrey murmured while he sank down in the water. "They will never see my tears. Never again." He disappeared under the surface. ´Never.´
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile