Title: Previous Engagements
Author: sofialindsay
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Emily/JJ
Disclaimer- I do not own the characters…If I did, we'd see this during the first episode of Season 4!
Summary: "You were married?!"
AN: Thanks to darkbardzero and Steppenwolf20 for beta'ing and helping me through this one. This story is all the evidence I need to know that I'm my three beta's bitch! Gah, I need a life!!
Archiving: P&P, Women in Kevlar

Emily took a deep breath as she knocked on the door and waited for JJ to open it. This was not how she wanted to spend her weekend off. Well, spending time with JJ was her idea of a perfect weekend, but not looking over bridal magazines trying to help the younger woman plan her wedding. A wedding Emily had decided she would gladly shoot herself in the foot just so she would have a valid excuse not to go. But like any loyal friend would, she plastered a smile on her face just as JJ opened the door.

"Hey, come on in. I can't thank you enough for giving up your Saturday to help me…"

JJ rambled on, unaware that Emily was focused on her eyes instead of her words. The profiler noticed the usually vibrant baby blues were now a dull, dark blue. They were certainly not the eyes of a woman who was planning a wedding to the man she loved.

She allowed herself to be pulled into the kitchen, where numerous magazines waited for her, trying hard to ignore the tingle in the hand that JJ held. Finally, she managed to get a word in during a break in the younger woman's rambling.

"It's no problem Jayj. Let's see what you have planned out so far."

Taking the paper from JJ, she was forced to look at the simple diamond she was wearing on her ring finger. No, she corrected herself, that's not even a diamond. He's a detective! He should have at least bought her a real diamond! If she were mine…just stop it Prentiss! She's not yours and never will be!

Looking at the paper, she had to smile at the dress the blonde had chosen. It was a strapless, white floor-length dress, and she knew without a doubt that JJ would look divine in it.

"Wow. You'll look…beautiful in this."

JJ gave a full smile and her now-vibrant baby blues locked onto the brunette's dark eyes, "Thanks Em. That means a lot coming from you."

"My only suggestion is that instead of going through Zalpa's to get it, you go through the designer. I tried working with Zalpa's once, and they're really hard to deal with."

JJ's eyebrow raised on it's own accord, "You went to Zalpa's for something? I thought they only had wedding dresses…"

Emily fidgeted and played with her watch, "They do."

"You were married?!" JJ asked disbelievingly.

Emily felt her past fly back at her at lightening speed and smack her upside the head; a past she'd rather not remember. Then again, hadn't she wondered if JJ was going to follow through with the mistake she had almost made some ten years before?

"Let's sit down, it's a long story. That is, if you want to hear it."

JJ eagerly nodded, "Let's go to the living room. It's more comfortable. You go ahead, I'll get us something to drink."

Five minutes later, Emily was looking at an overly eager JJ and knew there was no way out of this. "I've never been married, but I was engaged once. I was based in New York and he was a lawyer there. We had set a date and I was looking for a wedding dress. Our parents were best friends, and pushed for it, but I think we were both more in love with the idea of being in love, than actually in love with each other."

"What happened?" JJ asked softly.

"I called it off. I couldn't follow through with it, despite what my parents wanted, it wouldn't have been fair to either of us." Emily had to chuckle at the memory of her mother's reaction.

JJ hesitated, "Can I ask why?"

Now for the moment of truth… Emily thought ruefully. "His sister, my best friend at the time, cornered me one day while we were looking for dresses. She told me she was in love with me, that she had been for years, and kissed me. I knew then I couldn't do it. Not when I realized it was, you know, one of those earth-shattering, mind-blowing kisses that leaves you seeing stars."

"No Em," the blonde started sadly, "I don't know."

Emily watched as the younger woman played with the ring on her finger. Trying to lighten things up, she chucked, "It was hard, but Todd and I are still friends. Apparently he had suspected something wasn't right because I was always around his lesbian sister and her friends, so it wasn't much of a shock to him. My mother though, that's another story! Apparently finding out her only daughter is a lesbian wasn't high on her list of things to do!"

JJ tried to smile, "I'll bet. I don't know what to do Em. This whole thing seems so wrong. I agreed to marry him before New York, before I lost the baby. Now, I have to. Despite what I feel, what I have felt, it's expected of me."

"Do you love him?"

"That's not it, I just…"

"JJ, answer me this; are you in love with him? Yes or no?"

A pregnant silence filled the air, and Emily briefly wondered if she had overstepped the line. When JJ spoke, the profiler barely heard her.

"No. No, I'm not in love with him. But I don't want to hurt him."

Emily sighed, "Then I think before we find a dress for you, you should figure things out. A divorce when there are kids involved a few years down the road will hurt worse than ending it before you get married."

"I know…Em, what happened with you and his sister?"

Emily gave a weak smile, "We were together for three years, and then I was transferred out of New York and she wouldn't come. We weren't strong enough to do the long-distance thing."

"Do you still love her?"

Where is she going with this? Emily wondered before answering, "Love her? Yes. I'm not in love with her anymore."

JJ was lost in thought, and Emily was sure she had escaped this line of questioning until the blonde spoke, almost accusingly, "We've been friends for three years, and you never told me you were gay. I understand you're a private person, but after Garcia was shot, I thought we were closer…I've told you so much about Will and I, I even told you I don't want to be with him, and I don't even know if you have someone or not!"

"I never meant to hide it from you, if it makes you feel any better, no. I really don't have anyone. After Garcia was shot, we did get close…almost too close," Emily admitted.

"Too close?" JJ began to ask, before realization sunk in, "Oh…that explains why you stopped sharing things with me…you didn't think you could talk to me about me."

"I'm sorry. I needed time to sort things outbefore one of us got hurt, or lost a friend. You know I'd never put you in a position you were uncomfortable with."

The blonde watched as Emily chewed on her lip and played with her watch, before her fingers moved to pick at an invisible spot on her jeans. Emily was embarrassed, afraid even, and JJ could tell.

"I know you wouldn't, but you have no idea how much I missed the time I spent with you…how much I missed you. But…but to you, I was just the straight girl who could hurt you, right?"

"Well, you definitely have the straight girl part right. But it got to where I didn't trust myself around you. We'd be walking together, and I'd catch myself reaching for your hand. It was wrong of me, and I needed to get control of things. When I got myself back together, well, here I am."

JJ tried not to let her emotions show, "So…you're over me?"

"Jennifer, I'm not answering that."

JJ literally smirked, Emily's refusal a clear indication of guilt. Moving to sit closer to the profiler, she smiled.

"Look at me Emily," meeting dark eyes with her own, JJ continued, "You weren't there when this went on my finger, but you need to be here when I take it off. And you need to be here to hear this."

Emily watched as the younger woman slid her engagement ring off and placed it on the coffee table, before picking up her cell phone and dialing a few numbers.

"Hey…we need to talk…no, it's not exactly good…Can you fly up this weekend?…I didn't think you would…Will, there's not going to be a wedding, I'm calling it off…it's complicated…Yes actually, there is someone else…HELL NO IT'S NOT HOTCH, YOU MORON!!…Will, just let it go…FINE! It's Emily! Happy now?"

Wide-eyed, Emily watched as JJ broke the engagement over the telephone. Well, not exactly how I did things, but it'll work...wait, did she just say she was leaving him for me?!

Chuckling as she watched JJ hold the phone away from her ear, looking at it like it was a foreign object, she broke into complete laughter as JJ looked at her.

"Remind me again why I was going to marry him?"

Emily just shrugged, "I was gonna ask you the same thing actually…"

Tossing her cell phone aside with a ranting-Will still on the other end, JJ crawled towards the brunette.

"Hmm…who cares? Didn't you mention something earlier about an earth-shattering and mind-blowing kiss that would leave you seeing stars?"

Emily smirked, "Why, yes. I believe I did…"

True to her word, JJ found that Emily's kiss could indeed leave her seeing stars. Pulling back and staring into black eyes, she whimpered when Emily's fingers crept under her shirt.

"JJ...JJ, are you there?"

JJ sighed, "Hold on Em…"

Picking up the annoying cell phone, she gave an evil grin to the profiler.

"Will…No, I'm not here…I know you don't believe this…I have to go…I'm about to have mind-blowing sex with Emily…"

JJ snapped the cell phone shut and tossed it aside, before locking eyes with the brunette. When JJ's dark and hungry eyes met hers, Emily swallowed audibly and mumbled.

"That definitely sounds about right…"