Muster

by willa76

Set in modern times. Lou walked out of their lives two years ago. No explanation and to their knowledge no reason. She has come back for their last year of school. Will friendships be mended and will love find her again? Rated M, be warned.

1. Chapter 1

Set in modern times.

Rated M.

Chapter 1

'You can do this' I reassure myself for what had to be the hundredth time this morning. I would not surrender to the small part of my brain that was telling me that I was fooling myself.

I couldn't do this.

I turned away from the dreaded red bricked building, and looked towards the direction I had come from.

Home.

Why would I go back there? What was waiting for me?

I turned back for the building.

'I can do this,'

I had to this. Didn't I?

I mean, did I have another choice in front of me?

Taking a tentative step forward, my stomach flipped causing me to take that step back.

Why was I doing this?

A small nagging part of me knew why, but I chose to ignore it. I did however decide it was now or never.

If I was going to continue on this path I had to keep moving forward, because if I walked away now, I was never coming back.

I adjusted the stack of books that I had in my arms and held them tight against me, as if they were a comfort, when actually they were more of a hindrance.

I had a small bag over my right shoulder holding everything else I needed. Pens, pencils, gym gear…gym…a small shudder of fear rippled up my spine.

I didn't do sport or any fitness of any kind so the thought of going back to a gym class scared me.

I mean, I don't think I'm unfit. I walk everywhere. Even to school and that took me a little over an hour. So surely that means I do exercise.

I shrugged my shoulders satisfied with my conclusion.

A small giggle caught my attention and I turned to see a group of young girls staring at me, their eyes looking up and down my body, obviously judging what I was wearing.

They were pretty, in that manufactured Barbie way. Blonde, dark and red, all slender and wearing next to nothing in the warm weather we were still lucky to have.

I looked down at my appearance wondering if I had made the right choice, but a small snort of amusement came from me when I realised what I was thinking.

That was the old me, the girl who had great friends at her back, parents that loved her and for all intense purposes loved each other. I knew what I wanted in life and I wasn't afraid to get it.

The old me would never be caught dead wearing what I was wearing today. The old me would have had choices in her wardrobe, to make that very first outfit of her very first day as a Senior, all that more harder to make. The old me would be dressed like the Barbie trio that had now decided to move on to their next victim.

This girl that stands here today, in her skin tight black jeans, torn on one knee, a simple grey t-shirt and some black ballet flats, covering her un manicured toes, was most definitely not the same girl that stood in her schools car park a little over two years ago.

With another quick inner pep talk to myself, I gathered as much inner strength that I could muster and begun for the schools main building.

I zoned into my destination trying to just focus on that one task for now. However to get to the main building I had to weave my way through the student carpark, and with my luck the way it is, the carpark was full, not only of vehicles but students as well.

Loud, deep base music pumped out of various cars. Making me forget for just a moment, what it was I was about to do. My mind focused on the music instead, making me wonder if I had heard it before.

I really had no idea what was considered the music of our generation, if I did listen to music it was the same music I had listened to all my life.

Actually I found myself listening to a lot of my Mother's old music, and the scary thing about that was; I actually really enjoyed it.

I weaved through the various cars and trucks keeping focused on the different songs.

Rap, pop, Rock, Country and techno, all present as they fought over one another.

I wanted to look up and see if any of the students were actually able to focus on their choice of music genre, but I didn't dare let my eyes focus on anything other than the ground in front of me.

I continued to walk slowly through the parking lot, my skin prickled with the thought that I was being watched, but once again I didn't dare look at anyone.

A wolf whistle sounded out beside me but I didn't give them the satisfaction of even glancing their way.

Was that considered being vain that I even assumed that the whistle was for me to begin with? I really didn't consider myself hot in any shape or form. I was normal, just plain normal. And I didn't think normal girls got whistled at.

Focus Lou, you have to focus. I once again reminded myself.

I had my destination in mind I would be damned if anything was going to deter me from that.

Though as I got closer to the building I could hear whispers and laughter and I fought myself to not being interested on what they were saying.

I wasn't stupid. I knew that it was going to be hard to fit in with anyone here, considering I hadn't seen a few of them for two years, and the rest I just had no idea who they were, a part of me kind of wanted to know what I was up against while the other part of me didn't have it in me to care.

'Stick to your plan," I reminded myself and kept my eyes in front and centre, ignoring it all.

I found the office easy enough and handed over the appropriate paper work and in return received my schedule and locker combination. "Honey there is also a note from the counsellor, Mr Smith, he would like for you to meet..."

I smiled politely, at the middle aged woman, "Thank you," and I turned my back before she could even finish that sentence. I didn't need to talk to anyone.

I know the shitty hand I was dealt, no I have yet to really come to terms with all of it. But that didn't mean I needed to talk about it.

I lived it.

I swallowed the lump of sadness that rose up and sat heavy in my throat as thoughts of the last two years stabbed my mind.

Shaking my head, focusing, I looked down at my schedule and sighed when I saw that Science was first up this morning. It was going to be a long year if I was ever going to catch up with the rest of the senior class. I'm sure that there would be more than a few times I was going to feel like a complete idiot.

I had missed two years of school, I tried to keep up with the home schooling but in the end it was all too hard and I'm ashamed to say that I couldn't cope and something had to give. That was my schooling.

But I refused to let it deter me. I was going to catch up and nothing was going to stop me.

"Ouch…watch where you're going." I snapped, without thinking, as my body slammed into what felt like a solid brick wall. That shit hurt.

"You ran into me bitch," I looked up at the hostile voice ready to hand him a new one, but when my eyes reached his and his found mine recognition slammed into both of us.

"Hi…" I said instantly, naturally.

"Come on Jed, let's go." A voice cut me off and had me looking his way.

A boy I once knew, and considered a close friend, even closer maybe, looked down at me with his emotionless cold blue eyes.

I went to say something to him, wondering if he hadn't noticed me like his brother had, but before the words can even leave my mouth I am pushed aside and left in the middle of the corridor staring at their retreating forms.

The sound of whispering and sniggering made me realise that I wasn't alone and that everyone in at least the senior class had just witnessed me being shunned. And not only that, I was still standing there staring after them like a complete fool.

"Burned," Some jock sniggered as he too brushed past me making the books in my hand fall to the floor.

Utterly humiliated I quickly fell to the floor, letting my long dark hair fall around my face shielding me from the various on lookers. I gathered my books and sheets of paper up as fast as I could before standing back on my wobbly feet.

I hadn't expected that.

I turned my back and pulled my books and papers in close to my body and tried to take comfort in my own arms, I looked behind me carefully to see that none of them had bothered to look back at me.

I quickly turned my head back around and headed to where my locker was. My hands shook as I did the combination. Relieved when it opened the first time, I threw all of my books in except the ones that I would need for my first class. I reached into my bag and pulled out my apple that I had bought for lunch, and placed it at the front of my locker so it didn't get bruised.

After I made sure that I had a pen and everything I needed, I slammed the door shut, adjusted my bag, and made my way to the first class.

I didn't want to be late and make a fool of myself in front of everyone first up. I laughed to myself, hadn't I already just done that?

I walked into see that I wasn't the first there, but also confused at where I should sit considering that there seemed to be someone already at every table.

I looked at everyone while they stared back with waiting eyes to see what I was going to do.

"Ah, a new student," A gruff older voice sighed behind me.

I turned to see a middle aged man with a very dated tweed suit on with a light blue shirt that looked like it wore half of his morning coffee down the front of it. This had to be the teacher.

"Yes Sir," I greeted.

"I had all the groups sorted for this semester, so I will have to rearrange one." He seemed annoyed about this, which a part of me wanted to care about but I just didn't. That was his job to worry where he was going to put me, not mine.

He looked at a sheet of paper, his eyes looking up once and a while as he seemed to be analysing every move as if he was playing a strategic game of chests.

"Mmmm, you can take a seat second row in, on the window side." He smiled seeming happy with his decision.

I gave him a nod to let him know I heard and made my way over to the table. There was already a guy and girl sitting there. They looked put out by the fact that I was joining their group, but once again I couldn't find it in myself to care.

I glanced at the open text book that the guy next to me had opened out, and quickly turned my book to the same page hoping to briefly read over it before the bell went.

My eyes widened as they swept over the contents.

I was in deep shit. I looked up at the teacher and saw that he had a knowing smirk over his face as he regarded my reaction.

The boy next to me leaned in closer, "Let me guess, you're out of your league,"

I was going to tell him where to go, but when I looked up at him, I could see he was being genuine not vicious.

This boy was bald, as bald as one can be. I wondered for a moment if he was sick and lost his hair like…no I won't take my mind there.

"You have no idea," I smiled sheepishly. "I don't think I'm even in the same ball park." He looked confused. "I have missed a year…or two…" I told him honestly.

His eyes widened as he looked me up and down, I couldn't help the smile on my face. A few years back if a boy like this looked at me like he was now, especially since he was what I would call a geek, I would have put him in his place.

Now, I thought it was funny.

His cheeks turned a dark shade of red when my small laugh registered in his ears. "Sorry," he muttered.

"Don't sweat it." I told him honestly.

"If…you…ah…" He looked scared, but I gave him an encouraging smile, "If you need help, I can help you."

"Are you sure," I gestured to the girl behind him, "She won't mind?" Even though I needed the help I didn't want to put the other part of our group behind either.

"Ha, like I need help." She scoffed.

I looked over at her to see she didn't even look up from her book. I knew by the way she didn't even look my way, she really didn't care. I let her comment slide. I don't think she was purposely being bitchy, she was being truthful.

"Ok, if you don't mind, I would really appreciate that." The boy smiled brightly at me. I decided that I couldn't call him 'boy' anymore so I held out my hand. "I'm Lou,"

He took my hand in his and shook it weakly, "I know who you are," he said softly. "We have been in the same grade since kindergarten."

I looked at him sadly.

I was a stupid bitch up till a couple of years ago, I had no idea if what he says is true but I figured that he would know.

"I'm sorry," I told him truthfully, "I was a different person back then."

He nodded, "Yes you were," He looked down at his book again and muttered, "I'm guessing you have no idea what my name is."

I could've lied and told him that I did kind of remember him, but I decided against it. If this boy was genuine and was going to help me then he deserved my honesty.

"You'd be right."

"Ike," he whispered softly. I didn't intend on hurting his feelings, but still he was hurt all the same.

Laughter had my head turning towards the doorway but I quickly looked down at my book when I saw who it was.

The laughter ceased instantly also. I didn't dare look up in case it was because they too saw me too.

I felt their presence as they walked past my table. I swear I could feel the heat of their glares.

Two hands slammed down hard on the table in front of me, causing the whole class to stop their chatter. I looked at the perfectly manicured hands, up to the expensive jewellery around her wrist and then up to her perfectly painted face.

She was as beautiful now as she was two years ago, but her sneer and the evil look in her eye reminded me just how ugly she truly was.

"I heard you slithered your way back." Her voice was hard and cold, "Don't think for a second that you are welcome. Things have changed Lou, you are no longer on top and you never will be again."

I heard a few sniggers from around the room but I kept my eyes on her.

"Not my intention Dorthia,"

She raised her hands before slamming them back down on the table, "You don't get to even say my name. You have always been below the rest of us. We just kept you around for entertainment all those years. They kept you around because they felt sorry for you. Where ever you went, you should have stayed there."

I didn't respond because there was nothing to say to her. I didn't owe her any explanation to where I had been the last two years. I knew that there were four behind me that probably did, but I remembered that they didn't really care where I was either.

The funny thing was I didn't go anywhere. I was still in this shitty town, but just on the other side of the tracks.

The shrill of the bell sounded out and Dorthia was asked to take her seat. I sat there while the teacher rattled on and on about Cell Division, but I couldn't concentrate as my mind was on the group behind me. Well in particular two brothers that sat behind me and his two friends that most likely sat beside them.

Now I could be only guessing, but the chances were pretty likely that the four of them were all still as tight as they were years ago.

They had been all friends since kindergarten. I looked to Ike beside me saddened at the fact that he was also looking in from the side lines back then too.

Jed and Kid Hunter were brothers, twins. Luckily for the rest of us they were not identical in anyway.

While Jed was a darkish blonde with brown eyes, tall and lanky, Kid's hair was dark with blue eyes, tall but solid. Though after walking into Jed earlier I would have to say he has caught up to his brother over the last two years.

James Hickok and Cody Williams were the best friends.

All born the same year, lived in and around the same streets, placed in the same schools and destined to have the same career, just like their fathers before them.

I couldn't help but think it must be nice to know where you were going in life and to not really have to work for a thing, but at the same time weren't we all capable to make our own destiny? Plan our own futures? Have the self-gratification of accomplishing something, earning it.

I use to be a part of this group, be one of them until I was faced with the cold hard reality of life.

I had once cared for those boys, and perhaps I still do. A part of me feels sad for them. They will end up just like their fathers, uncaring, cold, and ruthless.

Those men looked at everyone else around them as numbers. They only gave you the time of day when you had something they wanted, when the time ran out that you didn't, you were shunted without a care in the world. Left to feel like you never really mattered in the first place.

"Lou," Ike nudged my arm breaking me from my thoughts as he indicated to some slides that were placed in front of me at some stage.

"Sorry," I muttered as I slid the slides down the table so they sat in front of him.

"It's alright." He lined the slides up in front of him and the other girl, "How about you write the findings, and Emily and I will do the experiment."

"Sounds good to me."

Ike pointed to a diagram in the exercise book, "You need to write it out in that format." He explained.

With a huge sigh I got busy ruling up the page accordingly and then waited and watched as Ike and Emily went ahead and started sorting shit out.

I laughed when Ike actually started explaining to me that it wasn't called shit, and then started, in detail, telling me everything he was doing. I could tell he was passionate about science, his whole face lit up as he carried on in detail. I found myself staring at him in awe as I had never seen someone so passionate about anything.

"Oh god is she really that dumb?" I heard Dorthia snigger along with her friends from the back of the class room.

Ike paused and looked at me sideways. "I'm sorry was I being really loud?" He whispered.

"I don't care. Be as loud as you want to." He offered me a small smile as he continued explaining what it was that he was doing.

After another ten minutes he was done and Emily had actually slid her chair up beside me and was helping me write the whole thing up.

I tried to study her face to see if I had known her also, but I was pretty sure I hadn't. Not that it would have mattered. I was a dense bitch back then.

As soon as the bell rung I quickly picked up my books, thanked Ike and Emily and pretty much raced out of the class room like it as on fire.

My next three classes were uneventful and I was grateful that Ike was in two of them. He seemed fine with helping me and I was fine getting his help. He actually assured me that if I was as dumb as I was letting on, then I wouldn't have been in his classes.

Though once he admitted that, he spent the rest of the class apologising for being rude.

Me?

I just laughed.

I was also grateful that Dorthia wasn't in any of the three classes and neither were the boys. I knew that there would come a time when we were all going to have to acknowledge each other, but after the cool looks and the bitchiness of Dorthia this morning I wasn't in any hurry.

When lunch finally came around I grabbed my apple and chose a spot out of everyone's way to eat it. There was no way I would go to the cafeteria so I sat outside and placed myself up against one of the buildings. This way I could see anyone that would come my way and there was no way anyone could sneak up behind me.

I watched as groups of students walked past me. I tried to decipher who belonged where and who I might have trouble with.

A year and a half ago there were two High Schools in Rock Creek. One was a Public School, Rock Creek Public, that was situated on the east side of town and then there was this School, Rock Creek High. This was once an exclusive Private School.

This was always going to be the School Jed and Kid were going to attend, and by default I was too.

Of course if there wasn't an Earthquake a year and a half ago, deeming the Public School unsafe and forcing the two Schools to merge, I would have gone to Public this year.

I was no longer in the same financial and secure situation I was two years ago, so my ride to the exclusive Private School wouldn't have been an option.

Of course none of that mattered now.

As I watched the students walk by you could definitely pick the kids that would have attended Public against those who were always destined for Private.

Just the clothing alone spoke volumes.

I found myself recognising a few faces but it was hard as a lot had definitely changed. Gone was the baby fat, instead their faces had slimmed down, boys had bulked up and girls had filled out, some in all the right places, that we girls hope for, and others a little more than we hoped for.

My eyes caught a large group of guys standing around in a large rough circle. A couple were laughing while they watched two mock fight on the side lines.

I smiled at their freedom, their child like attitudes. They didn't seem to have a worry in the world, and I found it refreshing watching them.

"Knock it off," I heard a loud voice demand. I watched as Kid, Jed and the boys all gathered around the larger group of guys. I watched in rapt fascination as the group dynamics changed from being playful and childlike to more serious and mature.

It was my confirmation that Kid, Jed and the boys were the head of the food chain. Well for the guys anyway.

If I had to guess I would say that I was looking at the School's football team, after all that was Daddies plan to have one of his sons in the NFL and from what I have seen so far, I can tell the prodigal Son hasn't branched out from that route.

Their father, Teaspoon Hunter, is a money hungry, heartless bastard. Well that is the way I see him.

He owns a huge ranch that I would be lying if I said, it wasn't the most beautiful place I had ever seen. Green paddocks stretched out for miles before the rolling hills continued all the way to the sky.

His dream for his boys has always been the same. Jed will take over the family business, training and racing horses, while Teaspoon lives the life he never had through Kid.

Kid has been groomed for nothing but football. Teaspoon's younger brother made it all the way to the NRL with a long career and now is a huge part of the management team for prestigious University of Willow Springs.

My thoughts have always been that Teaspoon was jealous of the life style and the fame that his younger brother had. But at the same time I just didn't get it.

Teaspoon was very famous in his circle of friends and the racing industry. He had more money than he knew what to do with, so I had no idea why he would wish to be anyone else.

Of course none of this mattered now. And my views on him have changed since then. Now I see him as a life sucking parasite that can't keep a certain appendage in his pants.

I watched the boys as they joked lightly with their friends, yet I could see that they were also stand offish. To eyes that really didn't know them that well, you wouldn't pick up the small things that I knew.

Like the way one, at this time, it was Cody, was keeping watch around them. Making sure no one was going to interrupt their little gathering. Kid stood side on from Jed watching his back while Jed watched Kid's. And then there was Jimmy. He was currently doing all the talking so he was in front of them all.

As Cody laughed with the rest of them, feigning interest, his eyes continued to scan the area around them and soon they rested on me.

I knew that I should look away but a small part of me couldn't. I had once considered him a friend, a brother but he never cared enough to try and find me, to keep in touch and I wondered why.

His smile died as his eyes continued to stare at me, through me.

I watched as his feet went to move towards me, but they didn't actually move as he realised what it was he was going to do.

It wasn't long before Kid saw that Cody wasn't joining in and his eyes looked in the same direction as his friends. I looked from Cody to Kid noticing all the small differences like I had done with others.

Cody still wore his blonde hair longer and shaggier than the others, but it was his height that had definitely changed. He had obviously done some growing over the last two years. When I had seen him last he was at least a head shorter than the rest of the boys, and he was a scrawny boy. He was now the same height as the rest of them, and going by his arms, he had definitely put some muscle on.

All the guys actually seemed to be huge in the muscle department. I wonder if that was because the football training was a lot more demanding for them being this close to College.

Kid had changed quite dramatically in my eyes.

He still had his blue eyes, obviously, but they weren't as soft as they once were. As he stands there looking back at me, they seem just as cold and hard as what Jed's had been this morning. He looked scary and unapproachable and that was a huge contrast to what he had been like before.

His hair was no longer cropped short to his head, it was longer, messier. There was no fat on him what so ever. He had never been fat but he was solid, but the guy was now solid muscle. He didn't look like he had gotten any taller though. I think Jed was gifted the height.

Cody soon looked to Kid and back to me. I could see that both of their body postures had gone stiff and I could see on their faces that they weren't really sure what they wanted to do about having me here. Before Jed and Jimmy were also involved in our stare off, I gathered my apple core and stood from the ground and dusted the dirt and grass from my jeans.

I walked over to the bin and threw the apple core in before heading inside.

A pang of sadness couldn't be helped and I allowed myself that. Those boys were a huge part of my life and now they're not. I miss them, I really did.

I rounded the corridor only to be met with a shoulder slammed into my own. I wasn't ready for it and I certainly wasn't in a position to take it, the force was too severe and had me landing flat on my ass.

"Awwl…fuck…" I hissed.

"This is your only warning," Dorthia sneered down at me, "You will stay away from Jed and Kid. You had your chance, that's on you for fucking that up."

"I had no …"

"I don't care," she snarled, "I really don't care what you have to say. Just hear my warning, stay away."

"Oops," One of the other girls feigned as she let the drink she had in her hand pour all over me. "It slipped," she smiled walking off behind Dorthia and the other groupies.

I slowly stood up from the puddle of what I hope was only water. I grabbed onto the wall beside me, scared that I would slip.

This time I couldn't ignore the students that stood around me and stared. Some wore smug looks while others stared back in sympathy.

Well fuck you too.

I started to head for the girls toilets, but stopped midway. I would be stupid to go in there now, after that. Dorthia knew that I would have to clean myself up and she could be waiting.

I wasn't scared of the prissy little princess but I also wasn't in the right frame of mind to take anyone on.

I hadn't expected that confrontation, and had to admit that it rattled me.

I headed for a class room knowing that most students were outside enjoying the last days of summer. I found the closest door and quickly flew through it shutting it behind me.

I looked around the room for anything I could use as a towel to dry myself off, but I came up empty handed.

I looked down at myself seeing my grey t-shirt was completely soaked. Luckily for me I did wear a black singlet top underneath.

I decided to forgo my t-shirt and spend the rest of the day in my singlet top. It was warm enough, but I didn't plan on showing this much skin. "It will have to do," I told myself.

I gathered all of my hair up, which was thick and long, and twirled it up and around in a messy bun before pulling the band from around my wrist and securing it in my hair.

Happy that I no longer looked drowned, I gathered my t-shirt and left the classroom.

Heading to my locker, I cringed when I heard my name, my full name being called out. "Ah, Miss McCloud. Loulabelle McCloud." I rolled my eyes dreading to turn around to what I am guessing is the school counsellor. "MISS…." This day was just getting better.

"I heard you the first time." I turned around to see a man, a younger man that what I had imagined, standing there. He was wearing dark denim jeans and a white buttoned shirt, simple but stylish. His hair was shaggy and blonde and fell into his eyes. He had the start of what I assumed would be a beard, sprouting…no that didn't sound right; growing on his face.

He gave me a bright smile.

"Well then in future can you acknowledge me the first time? I do hate making a scene in front of your pairs."

"I would have thought that a counsellor would be taught to never assume anything about a person. Because if you knew anything about me you would know I couldn't care less about what my pairs thought about me. So please make a scene." I grinned, "But can I suggest next time you want to continuously scream my name we move it to the bedroom."

He looked a little taken back but his face soon changed to one of intrigue. He took a step closer to me, "You cannot get rid of me Miss McCloud and I will continue to seek you out each day until you show up at my office and ready to talk." He turned to walk away but quickly spun back round, his eyes looked me up and down and I could see that he was trying his hardest not to comment on why I was wet. "Remember you have to prove you can take care of yourself Miss McCloud. I would hate to report back to your case manager that you are not."

Asshole!

I noticed Dorthia and her friends standing to the side sniggering loudly and obviously, and couldn't stop the rage that bubbled up inside of me. But I contained myself and dug through my locker instead.

I picked up my schedule and groaned, the word Gym stared back at me, almost mocking me. I grabbed my Gym bag from out of my locker, briefly wondering if I would be missed at all if I just skipped this one class.

I was relieved when I walked into the changing rooms to find no Dorthia, her friends however were a different story. I didn't know these girls so I can only assume that they had arrived after I left.

The three of them looked just like their Queen Bee, Dorthia, in the way that they dressed and presented themselves. I also noticed that all three of them weren't getting changed like the rest of us.

"Are you some kind of dyke?" one of them sniggered after she obviously caught me staring.

"Some kind?" I sniggered back, "I'm sorry, I didn't know there were more than one type."

"Ha? You know what I meant."

I continued getting changed trying to ignore them. I could see that all the other girls were watching and waiting to see what was going to happen. Should I be worried about that? I suddenly get a feeling that turning my back on these girls was probably not a smart move on my part.

I noticed Emily was sitting opposite me. I went to say hi, but she shook her head no and then gave a pointed look to Dorthia's friends.

God even the school outcasts don't want a bar of me.

I shoved everything into the locker behind me and slammed it shut. I didn't like the fact that all of my things were in there, but then shrugged what was the worst they could do? Steal my clothes. I still had my gym gear on so it didn't matter if they did.

I walked out to the gym, kind of scared at what it was we were going to be doing. I was not your sporting type.

I didn't exercise, I didn't play a sport. Never had never will. So I dreaded to see what it was, I was going to be in for.

I think I actually sighed in relief when I saw that the gym had a long net that ran the length of the big space. I saw that some of the class were already spiking the ball to one another. Volleyball wasn't so bad. I actually think I could manage this one.

"Well hot damn, we have a new student," some dick sung from across the court.

He was sitting on the bleachers that made up the grand stand along the far side of the court. I rolled my eyes and quickly glanced at those he was sitting with. Most of them I didn't know, but the four that I did, looked between me and the dick who had just called out.

Well that was acknowledgement was it not?

A small glimmer of hope sparked inside of me.

The sleazy prick stood up and purposely adjusted his junk while staring hard at me. "Look at them itty bitty shorts. Hot damn."

"What sort of man says itty bitty?" I asked in disgust, "Grow the fuck up." I turned for the other direction not liking this end of the gym at all. I heard a roar of laughter behind me but didn't look back.

I heard "Bitch" hissed at me but ignored it also.

"Tyler lay off." Another voice yelled out from the back of me. I didn't recognise the voice so any chance I had of Kid and Jed sticking up for me diminished.

I sounded pathetic even to my own ears, I never needed them to stick up for me in the past and I don't know why I felt like I needed it now.

For the whole Gym period I tried to participate as much as I could. I figured if it at least looked like I was trying then maybe I wouldn't flunk.

"Right hit the showers, and make it quick." The teacher yelled in his deep monotone voice. "Except Miss McCloud"

A round of "Ooohhhh's," sounded out from the other students. I ignored them and walked over to the Gym Teacher.

"Loula…" I stopped them there. I hated my name and I only answered to Lou.

"It's just Lou." I told him.

"Lou?" He questioned, I nodded.

His eyes gave me the once over. I could see he had questions but I could also tell that he didn't really care for the answers either.

"We are going camping in four weeks' time. Usually I send an email to the parents or a form home. Since I can't do either with you, I need you to tell me the best way for you to receive all of the information."

"I don't have a computer, so can you please just give me the paper work?" His eyes studied me even further.

"You will need to fill out each section and supply the appropriate information that is requested on there."

"I can read and write Sir, if that is what you're getting at."

"Can you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Just fill in the paper work Miss McCloud or don't attend. It is really no loss to me." He walked over to the bleachers where a folder sat under his sports jacket. He pulled a bundle of papers out of the folder. I could see that they were all fastened together with a staple. He thrust the bundle at me.

"Every section," He reminded me before turning on his heel and collecting his folder and jacket.

I stared after him wondering what the hell I did to get in his bad books.

I spun around and headed for the locker room. I glanced briefly down at the paper work I had received and cringed when I saw the required gear needed for the trip. How the hell was I going to afford all of that?

Walking into the locker room, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw my clothes still sitting in the same locker I left them. I really wouldn't have put it past Dorthia's friends to try something stupid, as to steal my clothes. I was just thankful it hadn't been today.

The rest of the afternoon was pretty uneventful. Of course I hadn't been as lucky as my first classes of the day, I had at least two of the boys in some of my classes and Dorthia seemed to be in every one of them.

Once the final bell sounded I was up and out of my chair looking forward to getting home and settling in for the night. I felt worn out and drained which dumb founded me as I hadn't really done anything.

I grabbed the books I needed for homework and then slammed my locker shut. Tucking the books under my arm I headed for the main door trying to avoid the bodies that were also rushing to get out that door.

I once again passed all the cars and headed south for my long walk home.

I didn't have a car like many kids my age, I never had the chance. Not that I would have wanted it any other way.

I walked through the school grounds, taking the long way around, trying my best to avoid the carpark.

I looked over the fields and towards the new buildings. The small town of Rock Creek is really going through its changes.

About a year and a half ago a 6.8 earthquake rattled our town. It definitely wasn't the first quake we had, and it certainly wasn't the biggest recorded, but it had been damaging.

Historic buildings seemed to have buckled and crumbled after years of tremors, houses and roads doing the same. I suppose there comes a time when enough is enough.

Since then it seems that the town is slowly but surely falling apart. And I'm not just talking about the buildings.

The numbers of unemployment have skyrocketed, housing is hard to find and if you do find it, the rent is ridiculous. The price of food seems to have gone up as well.

It might be just me, but it seems the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.

Or maybe it's just because I'm one of the poorer, that it just seems that way.

An hour later and I was standing in front of my house, a small, blue and white, one bedroom trailer that was nestled in the back corner of the trailer park. I was lucky that the lots beside me weren't in use at the moment so I felt like I had privacy.

Of course that could all change tomorrow. People come and go and some days I just can't keep up.

Behind the trailer park was a dense and vast forest filled with tall pines and cedar. If I was lucky, on still nights I was able to hear the faint sound of the small river that ran and wound itself around the foot of the mountain that shadowed over us in the winter months.

I picked up some scattered paper that had obviously blown over to my small amount of grass and pulled a couple of weeds that had obviously popped up in the last day or so.

Now that the weather was starting to get cooler I won't have to weed the garden as often and trim my small amount of grass weekly. It was minimal amount of time to think about, but with my school work load and the fact I have to get a job as soon as I can, every minute counted.

I grabbed the keys out of my pocket and unlocked the door, placing my books and the paper I had just gathered up on the coffee table I had in the middle of the room.

After taking my shoes off and wiggling my toes about, I headed down to the bathroom and opened the window as well as the one in my bedroom.

I looked down at the small oval photo of my mother that sat on the bedside table. "Hey Mum, I missed you today." I kissed the tip of my finger and placed it against the glass. "I miss you every day," I whispered.

I turned around and stripped out of my clothes, slipping on a pair of pyjama pants instead. After using the bathroom I made myself a sandwich for dinner and grabbed a glass of water before I sat down to do my homework.

Ike had offered to do some extra work with me on Wednesday which I was grateful for. There was no way I would turn down any help like that.

At ten o'clock I put everything away and rinsed my plate and glass before closing the windows and locking the door. After brushing my teeth I slipped on my nightie and slid into my bed.

I turned so I could look at my Mothers picture as I went to seep. It wasn't long before my mind went to the Hunter brothers and their friends Cody and Jimmy.

All day I had been telling myself that I didn't care what people thought and what they said, but I cared about those four and I am hurt that things didn't go how I had often pictured it.

The last time I saw them I had no idea it was going to be my last for a while. I remember leaving the guys at training and catching a ride home with another one of their friends. As soon as I walked in the door I knew something was wrong.

I called out to my Mother with no response. I knew she was there because her car was in the driveway.

I walked up the stairs calling out her name pausing by her bedroom door. I hesitated for a minute wondering if I should go in there or not.

Knowing in my gut something seemed off I knocked once before pushing the door open. The sound of quiet sobbing had my legs carrying me to the large ensuite.

I pushed open the door to see my Mother leaning on the toilet. The smell of vomit had me rushing over to the window and opening it wide.

There was no way I could help her if I too started puking. "Mum what's wrong?" I knelt on the floor beside her.

She looked up at me with tears streaming down her face. She looked frail and so utterly broken and I wondered how long she had been like that and why I hadn't noticed until now.

"Mum, please you're scaring me." I cried with her.

"I'm sick Lou," She whimpered.

"I...um…how sick. I mean…" I gestured to the toilet letting her see I know she had been sick, but the way she said it sent shivers up my spine. I had a feeling that she wasn't just talking about the vomiting.

"Cancer," she cried out and wrapped her arms around herself. Her small body trembled as she curled up in a ball.

"Www…hha.." I shook my head, "Cancer?"

Mum cried harder and I didn't hesitate lying on the floor beside her and wrap my arms tight around her body.

"Where's Teaspoon?" I asked, thinking that her husband, my step father should be here talking care of her also.

I didn't expect her body to start heaving again. I quickly helped her up so her head was hanging over the porcelain bowl. I cried as I rubbed her back, I didn't really understand anything at all.

Did Cancer mean she was going to die? And where the hell was Teaspoon?

I pulled Mum back when she tried to do it herself. I reached out and flushed the toilet as I eased her back to the floor. Once she was settled I quickly raced and grabbed a face cloth and ran it under the cool water before wringing it and wiping her face.

"I went to see Teaspoon after I had been to the specialist. I didn't call him, maybe if I had called him then I wouldn't have seen. I wouldn't be replaying that scene over and over." She cried as she continued. "I went to his office, Polly the receptionist, wasn't there so I just made my way up the hall and let myself in." I knew what was coming next, I didn't want to know, but I knew once a cheater always a cheater. "He had her bent over the desk…and…and…" I knew in that instant what I had to do.

"I'll be back in a minute." I told her and kissed the top of her head.

I jumped up off the floor and raced to my Mothers wardrobe. I pulled her suitcase out and started throwing her clothes into it. I then gathered all her beauty products, creams, hair stuff and then shoes.

I raced down stairs and threw them into the back of her car. I then raced back inside and went to my room to repeat the process. After that was done I gathered all of Mums and my papers out of Teaspoon's desk. Passports, birth certificates and anything else I could find. I made sure Mum had her purse in her handbag and I noticed that there were a lot of papers from the hospital beside her bag. I gathered all of it up and stuffed it in her bag.

I didn't really know where we would go but I grabbed some towels and face cloths also. Everything else that fucker could keep.

When I ran back up the stairs I paused in the hallway between the three bedrooms. Should I tell them? Did they already know? I couldn't worry about that yet, I just had to get my Mother out of there.

And I did.

To this day I still don't know if I made the right decision. I sometimes think that if my Mother didn't have to worry about money she might have had better care. Though I had asked the specialist the same question over and over and they all assured me that Mum was getting the best care that she could.

Did my mother deserve to die in this trailer?

No I don't think she did and that guilt will live with me forever. But I also didn't believe that she deserved to live with a man who didn't love her enough to stay faithful.

I did the best I could. But now that she was gone I have all of these regrets and what if's running through my head all damn day.