How should one handle their grief?
What is the requisite time to grieve?
When should you think about moving on, with your life?
When people die, society has an expectation on the bereaved of how you should grieve, how intensely and how long. They not living that individuals life, or anything about it but feel free to impose upon them their ideals, no matter how contrived, selfish and uninformed. However in the infinite wisdom of the almighty he decided to take that person. While we may not understand why, he has a plan. Only society deems themselves a higher authority then god, when death occurs. For the bereaved, time does not stand still but carries on. Everyday tasks do not wait and everyday living does not cease and ones heart may be crushed but it does not die with the bereaved. It still beats, it has its own life force. A life force of its own which compels you to put one foot in front one day after the other, day after day. Then one day, it may be an one hour, a week, a month, a year, five years or ten years when you realise you not just putting one foot in front of the other but you laughing at something and you feel guilty that you found pleasure in it. You scold yourself for feeling the heaviness lifting from your heart when you laughed, or when you have a good day, or when you are contented with life again and you feel something other than that which you were feeling, something people expect of you, something you expect from yourself. You don't know how long you're suppose to grieve because there isn't a handbook or a minister that can give you an exact timeline. That guilt makes you feel ashamed, makes you question what is wrong with you, why would you have found pleasure in something when the loved one who has passed, is no longer here with you to take pleasure, in it too.
Whether it's a day, a week, a month, a year, five years, ten years shouldn't be up to anybody but the bereaved individual. Because that person lives their life twenty-four seven everyday without respite and if the almighty decided your life no longer needed that person, why do people less all knowing, think disapprovingly of you when you try and move at a speed that they deem insufficient. Whether too slow or two fast, not enough grief or too much grief there isn't pleasing everyone, the bereaved will always be at the mercy of society's ideals. But when those ideals have no real place in a world that's full of complexities and not as black and white you think, people still refuse to understand why the bereaved should not be look on as an outcast or looked down upon for carrying out the almighty's wishes by moving on as he intended. He puts in front of you the things you need and tries to teach you what's required and whether you take his lessons of education or not, he leaves it up to you and does not smite you whichever path you choose. Because all roads eventually lead to the exact same place whichever path we choose, neither path is right or wrong in his eyes because either path will give you what you need, it will come in a different form but we will not escape it.
Why do people think even loved ones memories don't fade not matter how beloved. That the image of the person starts to blur faster then they ever thought possible. What people refuse to believe is that your life is separate from someone else no matter how much you love them and no matter whether your blood runs through their veins or not, each of those individual are here to teach you lessons in your perpetual education called life. People own and disown, their child or children during the course of their stay on this early plane. We love them when they support our values and own them lovingly. We also despise them when they challenge our values and disown them cold-heartedly. We want them closer when they support our values and feel pride in them and want to show them off to the world. We want them as far away from us when they challenge our values, going against our wishes, embarrassing us and are ashamed of them and want to hide them from world and you want to be nowhere near them.
You come to realise they are your flesh and blood but more then that they are individual's with their own purpose and own path and sometimes you may be apart of it but at times you have no place in their journey as the almighty has other plans for them and for you. Your flesh and blood are just vessels ordained by the almighty for his work to continue your education of life. Your off spring has its own life force, has its own purpose, its own reason for being in this word. While we may nurture and protect them giving everything of ourself they have their own preordained destiny that sometimes is of a perceived very limited lifespan to our dense and limited minds or at times is perceived as a more full lifespan but no matter the length of the lifespan at some point it does not include us, sometimes due estrangement other times due their demise. But in the eyes of the almighty he only sees what is required and what isn't and gives and takes with the knowledge that everything is as it should be, in his infinite wisdom.
When the almighty decides those individual's no longer fill the requirements he has for your life education and they have reached their allotted time to be taken back to him, why does society feel the need to question his wisdom and grieve without thought which keeps people in perpetual mourning. Would they want you to dwell and grieve over them or would they want you to move on with your life as soon as possible. After all they have moved on with theres, no matter how much people protest they want to live somewhere deep inside them they wish not to be apart of this world anymore because god cannot take you from this earthly plane without the deceased being a willing accomplice. Because a world encompassed by God does not have accidents because the almighty does not make mistakes, instead there are only things we don't understand or refuse to open our eyes to see.
I choose to see what's infront of me and not be run, by my grief. I choose to move on and not let life pass me by, while there is breath in my body.