"Pearlie, ready to start the news broadcast?" asked Marina as she fiddled with her turntable. Pearl chugged the remainder of her ginger ale within mere seconds and crushed the can against her cranium, unleashing a vapid belch in response.
It was Tuesday morning in Inkopolis, and the news team was prepping their first show of the day. Reports of stage rotations and new weapons at Ammo Knights were set to be unveiled; alongside this, much of the staff was anticipating an upcoming Splatfest announcement. This Tuesday was looking to be quite eventful.
Pearl cracked open yet another ginger ale and sucked it the fuck down while the cameramen began their countdown. Her addiction was becoming increasingly prevalent recently, but pretty much everyone was too afraid of her to speak up. So incessant was her chugging that roughly a third of it spilled all over herself, with absolutely no time to do something about it.
"Okay girls, we're live in 3… 2… oh god damn it… 1…"
"Y'all know what time it is!" Pearl squeaked, waving her wet fingers to and fro.
"It's Off the Hook, coming at you LIVE from Inkopolis Square…" Marina murmured as tiny flecks of ginger ale were lobbed directly into her eyes.
The news broadcast mostly unfolded as planned. Blackbelly Skatepark and Piranha Pit were in the rotation for Turf War, a new Slosher was revealed, and word of an upcoming Splatfest indeed descended from on high.
"Which is the better substance to step on? Dirt or sand?" Pearl gurgled as her hazy eyes glanced over at Marina. "I hate sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Team Dirt for life, squiddos! I don'tgive a damn or a shit, shove it all down my throat!" she screeched, much to the chagrin of her friend and lover Marina.
"Pearlie no, you can't say- wait a sec, what?" the Octoling inquired with a gasp as a member of the staff whispered something in her ear. After a brief exchange, they handed Marina a small envelope and darted off-screen. Inquisitively, she undid its seal and removed its contents: a pressed rose and a hand-written calling card.
"...Before the end of the upcoming Splatfest, the Great Zapfish will be mine…"
Pearl's eyebrows raised substantially as Marina revealed the card's sender.
"...Lupin the Third."