A/N: This sounds really weird but the first chapter happened in a dream while the flashbacks did. It was weird but good dream and since this has been sitting here forever and I keep adding to it from time to time why not let other people read what I had. Just posting the first chapter to see what kind of response I get. I had close to thirty pages of this written so I broke it up into chapters and such. I'm new to the Supernatural world of fanfics but love the show. This happens about from the beginning (third epi) of season one up to now if all goes well. Let me know what you think. I've rambled on more than I should have so on with the story. Enjoy! It's also OOC a bit because it is my first attempt but I'm trying. Italics are flashbacks. After this I'm done rambling, I know Dean would never actually fall in love but in this story he does and well just read on to see how he deals with it.

More than air

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He needed her more than air.

He needed her more than the demon's he chased, the trapped souls, everything. He needed her.

He thought he could deal but he couldn't each day grew harder to be away from her. After four months he couldn't do it anymore, he woke up thinking just like every other day she was beside him, but with one glance told him she wasn't.

Sam had finally left them alone, the evil done for now. They stood a room's distance apart. He wanted to get cleaned up, his white shirt was no longer white, and he knew he had scrapes on his face, they stung every time he moved his face, he could just imagine what he looked like.

She wasn't much cleaner herself, her shirt was whiter but had darker marks on the soiled shirt, everything was said was with a look as they met each other in the middle, nothing fast and rough like the movies. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him, four times.

He thought he was crazy to remember how many times they but the memory played so many times in his memory, the same every time.

She had walked away then, quietly shutting the door behind her leaving him with the ever-growing silence. He left soon after; he couldn't wait another minute to get clean.

He ran cold water over his face, and looked at the man he thought he knew in the mirror. He wasn't sleeping, barely eating, and had bags under his eyes. He couldn't place why; finding dad or because of her. He'd bet the ladder.

'How do you do it?' Sam asked by the fire, he said it low enough so Haley couldn't hear.

'Well they help' motioning over to Haley and her brother, his name forgotten at the moment. The rest of the conversation went by in a blur.

"I can't do this anymore" he said into the mirror. He hated that she had made him like this. A shadow of a man he once had been.

He hadn't seen her for the rest of the day, until he caught her on the stairs, him just coming from the shower, the look on her face saying that she hadn't meant to run into him. He saw regret drawn in her eyes. Was it regret from actually kissing him, or regret because she had liked it? She had plastered on a fake smile.

'You cleaned up' she stated, he looked down at his crisp white dress shirt and jeans.

'Ya' she hadn't, her shirt was still filthy and her hair was coming out of however she had her hair up.

'About-' he started before he was interrupted and it wasn't by her

'Ashley' they heard her mother call from the kitchen, Ashley didn't look pleased.

'Ya' she hollered back

'Can you come help me?' the moment had now passed.

'Sure' she attempted to move forward to go down but he came up the rest of them to stand in front of her, realizing for the first time how much shorter she really was. She looked up him. He shouldn't do it, but he did anyways. He kissed her. Just one simple kiss and he disappeared.

Secret glances were had across the table to each other. Once or twice they would catch the other's eye and he would always smile before looking down at his plate. She still hadn't had time to clean up, her face still had trace amounts of soot on them, but her shirt had been changed, the dirty jeans the same.

Sam caught on after the fourth glance and while his brother once again looked down at his plate. He looked at Ashley while biting off a piece of his bun. He'd never seen his brother like this, so shy before. He was the one to make the woman uncomfortable. He was happy for his brother, he really was, a little envious that he had or would have someone, while he was still getting over Jessica. He hadn't said a word about it to anyone and it would remain like that until one of them went to him.

Sam had already gone to the sleep, or to his room for the night at least, her mother had left saying something about needed to get back home for something. So he sat on her bed, it wouldn't be long before she had to come to bed, he was exhausted and he was used to this stuff.

She was shocked to see him, she had half hoped that he had gone to his own bedroom and the other half of her hoped that he would be waiting for her. She didn't say anything; she went to the closet for clothes finally finding the time to freshen up.

'I'm gonna go take a shower' she said softly. He didn't know whether or not if that was an invitation or not, so he waited. She was at the door when she stopped and turned, he smiled, not knowing what else to do.

She walked over to him, standing in front of him, if he wanted her, he would have to start this, she had initiated their first kiss. He gently placed his hands on her hips, every little voice he had was screaming at him to stop, go away. She didn't need to be hurt like he had so many others, but he pushed them away along with every other thought. She placed her hands on his shoulders, waiting for him to do something. His hands slid lower to cup her bottom and bring her closer to him. His mouth founds hers and wasn't long before he leaned back on the bed bringing her with him. When she straddled him it had excited him. She pulled away.

'I need that shower' she still straddled him but sat up, so she looked down at him. A mischievous grin appeared on his face and she knew exactly why.

'No, give me ten minutes' with that she picked up her forgotten clothes and headed towards the shower.

She returned in fifteen but he wasn't about to say anything, she looked years younger with her make up gone. She didn't wear a bra, which was evident with the way her nipples showed through her shirt.

She stood at the doorway waiting for him to say something, anything.

'Shut the door' came out coarsely from a voice that sounding nothing like his own. He stood up, his muscle protesting but soon enough he would be able to sleep. She stood her ground and for the second time she looked up at him, her eyes saying so much and yet nothing at all. He cupped her face with his hands he would never forget how soft her skin was against his rough hands.

He slowly brought his lips to hers, kissing her with a hunger he didn't even recognize. He needed her like he needed his next breath.

"You ready to go?" Sam asked him, this was not like him, he heard things before they happened he just had a sense for it. He was slipping.

"I need to do something" his mind made up, he had to see her. He moved with precision, taking clothes out of the drawers he had put them in only hours ago.

"I don't know how long it will take" forever if it were up to him, but that was being selfish.

A/N2: I'll explain the title in later chapters.