Authors Note: Hey guys! This is just a one shot because I just need to write about this one head cannon I have. I might write some more one shots about separate things or maybe even a full story! Anyways, please read & review!
"What is it?" I say.
Cara shakes her head.
"Where's Tris?" I say.
"I'm sorry, Tobias."
"Sorry about what?" Christina says roughly. "Tell us what happened!"
"Tris went to the weapons lab instead of Caleb, she survived the death serum...but she was shot. She's in the hospital, but she's unconscious and the doctors are sure they're going to loose her soon. I'm sorry." Cara says. I know I shouldn't be angry with her, but I am. She's wasting my time, wasting the last few minutes I may possibly ever have left with Tris. My Tris.
"Take me to her!" I shout sternly, frustrated. I should feel bad about yelling at Cara, but at this moment I couldn't care less. She points to the direction to run with her head and suddenly I running and Cara is on my heels. The only thing I register is the sound of my heartbeat in my ears and the sound of my shoes slapping against the gravel on the floor. Tris is going to die, I think.Tris, the only person that ever fully accepted me. The only person that thought that I was worth loving. Tris, with her golden blond hair and blue-grey eyes so beautiful and round. She can't leave me.
I swing open the door to the bureau, not slowing down at all in the process. Cara takes the lead, using the signs to give her directions to the hospital. I can hear her breathing heavily, and maybe I am too, but my adrenaline and the image of Tris in my mind are keeping me going. Please, please don't leave me Tris. We reach the hospital inside the bureau and I slam my fist down on the receptionists desk.
"I need to see Beatrice Prior." My voice comes out raspy and in heavy breaths.
The lady stares at me for a second, registering my appearance. I image what she must be seeing: my blood-shot eyes with tears threatening to spill over, my tousled dark brown hair, and my shoulders shaking from the thought of loosing Tris.
"Sorry," she says, "family only."
"I am her family." I tell her forcefully. I remember back when I rescued Tris from the Erudite compound that is what I told her. I'll be your family now. And we will be when we get married one day-if I don't loose her.
"Oh. She's in room 4610." With those words I take off jogging to find her room. I turn the door nob and see something completely unexpected.
Tris lays on the bed. But she doesn't look like my Tris. For once she looks weak. Her blond hair is scattered around her face and her skin is paler than ever. She's missing her usual glow. Her clothes have also been replace with a hospital gown and tubes connect her to several machines.
"Tris," I whisper as I kneel next to her bed and grip her hand, forcing her fingers to lace with mine one more time, "I love you."
And for the first in a long time, she doesn't respond. Instead all I hear is the soft, low beeping of her heart monitor. The pulse is barely there. The tears begin to stream down my face, and I can't stop them. I'm sobbing and clutching at her hand. I gently kiss her cheeks, her forehead, in between her eyebrows, and finally her lips. My head sags and drops on to to stomach and I can barely catch my breath.
"Things aren't suppose to be like this, Tris." And I know that as I say these words and continue sobbing that I'm a coward and that I'm weak and pathetic and that I don't deserve her for these reasons.
"We're suppose to stay together forever, get married, and have children." I tell her. I know we never talked about these things, but they were implied the moment we fell in love and forgave each other over and over again after every fight.
"I love you so much, Tris. My life is nothing without you, and I can't loose you Tris. You're perfect. You're selfless and brave and kind and intelligent and smart. You're everything to me. I love you."
And then I hear the flat line of the heart monitor machine and I loose it. It's a blur, and all I remember is fighting against the doctors as they came to unplug her from all the machines. I screamed at the top of my lungs and refused to leave the room. It's Christina and Cara that eventually manage to get me out.
I sit, sulked in a corner of the waiting room, waiting for the doctor to come talk to me and tell me something about what happened to cause this exactly. But quite frankly, I don't want him to talk to me. I don't want anyone to talk to me. It doesn't help the situation that everyone in the room is staring at me because of the scene I caused.
"Mr. Eaton?" The doctor walks out the door and stands next to me. I try to manage a hello, but I can't move or speak. I'm numb, and I'm not sure if it's from all the shouting and screaming, but I am sure that I never want to move for the rest of my life.
He sits down across from me and begins to speak again, "I have some information about Tris that I thought you may want to know." I don't answer, but he proceeds. "When we were taking care of Tris, we discovered that she was pregnant."
And just as I thought my life could not get anymore painful, it did. My child, our child, is dead. That child could have been to the beginning to my future with Tris that I always imagined. And even though this child would have caused us difficulty and stress because we are too young to be parents, I wish it would have survived somehow. That child was a symbol for me and Tris's love for each other, and now he or she or gone. The doctor gets up and walks away, leaving me with my thoughts. So I sit there, for hours until Christina comes and drags me out of the hospital. Instead now I sit in the hallway outside the hospital with Christina by my side, her still crying and me completely still. I don't try to comfort her, and she doesn't try to comfort me either. And at that moment I am sure of one thing: I don't want to live anymore, not without Tris.
A/N: I may or may not have sobbed while writing that...anyways, please review it to tell me what you think! And sorry if it was ooc, I just have a lot of feelings that all came out while writing this.