Just a quick ragefic drabble I wrote a long time ago and edited recently in my latest writing frenzy. Not at all smooth or polished, but by gum, bloody cathartic to write!
I love these fics and so wrote my own to join in the fun!
Buffy scanned the group surrounding her, her heart seizing in her chest at the closed and guilty faces.
"I can't watch you just throw away everything that….. I know I'm right about this. I just need a little— I can't stay here and watch her lead you into some disaster." She said quietly, firmly, resolve in her voice even as it wavered slightly.
Dawn rose and stood directly in front of Buffy. Looking down at her sister, she spoke softly, cruelly calm.
"Then you can't stay here. Buffy, I love you, but you were right. We have to be together on this. You can't be a part of it. So I need you to leave. I'm sorry, but this is my house, too."
Buffy could feel the breath catch in her throat as she once more scanned the group, no one meeting her eyes for more than a moment or two. Only Kennedy met her eyes, a smug sneer barely visible graced her face, while behind her, Giles sighed and looked away to the floor.
And Buffy felt something inside her snap. It was almost a physical sensation and Buffy felt the laughter burst from her lips, cold and hard and shocking in its sharpness.
She placed her hand on her hip and leaned back, the sharp laughter forcing her head back and after a few moments, she looked back down, her other hand rising to wipe away the tear that lingered on her lashes.
Buffy shook her head, a sneer now on her own face and Dawn took a step back at the unexpected development. This wasn't at all how they had figured it would go.
"Look at you all. The First was right!" She huffed another breath of laughter, sardonic and cold. "Needing someone to blame. You are all so happy to follow and make others do the hard decisions, makes it easier to lay the blame."
Kennedy snarled and stepped forward, her fists clenched at her sides but Giles' snapped "That's Enough!" beat her to it. All that did was shift Buffy's attention to him and the look of disgust she threw him made him pause.
"It really is, Giles. Enough that is. Ha! I'll go, don't you worry about that. But it's MY turn to say my bit." Her eyes rolled up and down her ex-Watcher from head to toe and back again and then from him to Xander, Willow, Dawn, one by one she met their eyes as the words flowed from her lips.
"My friends. My family. The people I have bled for, fought for, DIED for. Those of you who ran here looking for protection. MY protection." She huffed another sneering laugh and crossed her arms over her chest.
"You're scared. Good. Because you're going to die. Maybe not all of you, but I'm guessing a fair few." Voices cut out but Buffy continued as though nothing was said and everyone felt their throats dry and lips seal. As though Buffy had cast a spell, they held silent as she spat out her rage and pain and betrayal in cold hard words.
"You wanted me to be a General, all of you did. Oh but only if I do what you all want." She scrunched her nose up. "Yeah, it doesn't actually work that way." She shrugged. "Guess you'll find that out." She said, looking briefly at Faith before back at Giles.
"Let's start with that trust comment, yeah? Trust - like drugging your slayer, or going behind her back. What about trying to continually control every aspect of her life? You didn't want a General, you wanted a robot. You have never trusted me. None of you have. Not about Slaying, not about dating, hell, you all even had a say in my college courses. As for supporting me? How about when I was on my own, suddenly raising a teenager? Or maybe financially when I was slaying AND working minimum wages? What about when I needed you most? Yeah, let's not go down that abandonment road, we'll be here all day." With a single breath, she turned to Kennedy.
"People are dying? Really? You've been here all of a minute. I've been doing this for 8 years. I SEEN death. I've held people I loved and watched them die. Hell, I drove a sword through my lover's chest, so DON'T YOU tell me about people dying!" Kennedy's face whitened and she stepped back into Willow's space, away from the Slayer in front of her radiating pure furious predator. Anya was next in her firing line. "Yeah Anya, 8 YEARS. Am I better than you? Yes. I HAVE earned this. I have spent my LIFE earning this. So I can safely say I am a hell of a lot better than any of you at this." Xander hauled himself to his feet and stepped forward.
"Stop Buffy, now." He stood tall. But she just shook her head and chuckled.
"Oh Xander. You wanna talk prices? You want to compare the costs of this fight? Of all the past fights? How about the Ultimate Price? You know, that everyone ELSE seems to get once they are done?" Willow's gasp could be heard in the deathly silence. But not a muscle moved in the entire room. Now that Buffy's fury had been unleashed, noone wanted to draw the terrifying ire their way. "Oh but THAT'S right! We don't talk about THAT, do we? Noone wants to talk about the costs I have had to pay!" Her voice was knife sharp, slicing deep. The tightening look on Xanders face and Anya's aborted move forward seem to be the final straw. "But what's Heaven and eternal peace really worth?" She spat venomously. "So I'm going to go. Leave MY house and go into an abandoned Sunnydale at night, filled with Bringers and Turok Hans because YOU all think I can't do the job. The job I have done since I was 15. The job I will continue to do. So Yeah. Yeah." She ended with a whisper. She looked at Faith as she turned to leave. "Go ahead and learn their names, you'll need them to put on their graves." And the silence rang heavy in the Revello Drive house as the door closed solidly behind the blonde slayer.
As they stood on the side of the crater that was now Sunnydale, Buffy ignored the others that chatted around her. Rocks ping their way down the side of the massive hole and she watched as the Sunnydale sign swung backwards and disappeared as well. Behind her, she heard a question directed at her and cocked her head to show that she was listening.
"What do you think we should do, Buffy?" Willow asked happily, Faith quickly following it up with her own comment.
"Yeah, you're not the one and only chosen anymore. Just gotta live like a person. How's that feel?"
Dawn turned to Buffy, her hair blowing in the breeze.
"Yeah, Buffy. What are we gonna do now?"
Buffy slowly smiled. She knew exactly what she was going to do.
Anything she wanted.