Until We Bleed: Prologue
Thank you for checking out this story! It really means a lot to me. I saw the title on tumblr as one for a mix; whoever created it, kudos to you! The graphic for the cover was found on deviantart and created by Yutaka-Hatake. Thank you! Please enjoy. I'm well aware that this could stand on its own as a one-shot, but I've got some pretty spiffy ideas to turn it into a multi-chap fic. Should I do that? Well, this is already labeled as a prologue, so that already answers that question. Enough of my bantering. I'm sorry. Please leave feedback! Reviews are much appreciated.
-paastelpetals
"Levi, you need to stop living like this. You have work to do with the cadets."
The captain clenched his steel eyes shut, silently cursing at the blonde commander behind the other side of the door. Just leave me be, shitface.
He'd been cooped up in his room for a long time, shrouded in darkness and wallowing in his misery. He didn't really have an idea as to how much time he's been in here exactly, but it didn't matter. He was alone. His bed was cold.
More specifically, the spot on his bed where she usually slept was cold.
"Levi," Erwin said again, knocking on the door.
"Fuck off," came his simple reply; there was a waver in his hollow and strained voice. He knew Erwin noticed it as he saw the commander shift his weight onto his other foot uncomfortably from beneath the doorframe. He sat in silence for a few more seconds before he heard the quiet sound of Erwin's fading footsteps.
And it was then that he let himself grieve. Resting his elbows on his knees, he put his head in his hands and tugged on his hair. He broke; silent tears streamed down his cheeks, his teeth clenching as he repeated the same word in his mind over and over again: stupid, stupid, stupid. "I'm sorry, Mikasa," he whispered to himself. He sounded weak, even to his own ears. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you." Stupid, stupid, stupid. He was pathetic. He was Humanity's Strongest. Nothing could break him. But oh, what a burden it was to be dubbed as such. Because he wasn't as unbreakable as the public deemed; she broke him.
The woman who had been by his side and unwaveringly tried her best to comfort him when he lost his whole squad to the Female Titan. She had held his hand in her pale one even after the many times he'd tried to push her away. She had bandaged his hands as he bloodied his fists trying to cope with the grief. She had fixed his cravat whenever it was crooked, or tied it for him when he didn't ask her to. He recalled to the times when they would drink tea together in the fields underneath the big oak tree, sharing stories. He remembered how she would always tease him about how much of a clean-freak he was, or how short his stature was. And he remembered that shitty red scarf of hers that he made her wash oftenly.
A fresh stream of tears ran down his face again. Why did he keep on doing this to himself? Why did he relive these moments, day after day after day? Perhaps it was to fill the void she left when she disappeared the day they had went on a mission. She had been pronounced missing in action, presumed dead. Her body was never found.
And it was his fault.
He couldn't protect her as well as he thought. And now, because of him, she was gone.
Disappeared from his life...forever.