Lin had all but disappeared from existence. For her, it was better that way. She'd dedicated most of her life to her career as the chief of the Metalbending Police in Republic City.
Stomping her bare foot, she hardly even blinked as the earth around her moved, trembled, and flew through the air.
Her entire life had gone to serving and protecting the population of Republic City. How had she let things get out of hand so effortlessly? If her mother had still been the chief, none of this would have happened. In fact, had Aang still been avatar then maybe… She slammed her arm down particularly hard and a large boulder exploded right in front of her.
She closed her eyes and turned in a circle slowly waving her arm. The now exploded bits of rock peacefully made its way through the air around her. Whenever she trained, she preferred to be barefoot. The custom was taught to her the moment she learned how to put two feet on the ground by her mother. It was such a relieving feeling to be so close with the earth.
If she had it her way, she would never leave this area.
After her emotional confession to Tenzin on the airship back to Republic City, Lin had decided at that very moment she would need to separate herself from everyone. In her decided isolation, she'd gone to the only place she could think of where her time alone would not be disturbed.
As children, her and Tenzin loved to run off and disappear away from the world on their own adventures. They would go wherever the wind would carry them (Tenzin later confessed that often times it was his influence on the air just so he could stay with her longer) and end up in any old place.
One afternoon, after some heavy training with his father, Lin had pulled a tense Tenzin away from the Air Kingdom and before she'd even gotten him out to the lone field, he was laughing and showing her his latest airbending skill. They'd become so immersed in each other that they hadn't realized they'd gone off course from their usual path. Reaching the edge of a forest, Tenzin and Lin both eyed each other and without a second thought the two of them walked right through the area that had the biggest clearing.
Their journey eventually led them to a beautiful, pristine waterfall and hiding just beyond that waterfall was a secluded cave. It was almost like the cave was made just for the two of them to inhabit. From what they had seen, the only other occupants had been a small group of ladydragons and over time, they learned that even the ladydragons did not nest there.
As time passed and they grew older, the cave grew to be "their spot" and hold many moments for them.
When Tenzin had gotten his tattoos, that's where he and Lin privately celebrated after the initiation and celebration in Air Kingdom had grown to be too much for them. Immediately after she'd confessed to him that she thought the arrows made him look a lot more "interesting" they'd shared their first real kiss.
In this cave, Tenzin admitted to Lin that he often grew jealous seeing her around the other boys, joking around and occasionally even flirting. They'd left the cave with swollen lips and the decision that they would no longer be friends and become a couple.
The first time he'd confessed his love to her, it was in the cave. Too shocked for words, Lin observed him for a moment and then meekly admitted she had loved him just as much if not more. Moments later, in that cave, they'd made love for the very first time.
When Lin had nearly lost her head but received a permanent reminder of her first day out as a new officer on the Metalbending Police, she'd temporarily become a hermit. And what had Tenzin done? He'd become a hermit with her in that very cave until she was ready to surface again.
When she'd lost her mother…
As they grew older…
When Lin told Tenzin that she would not be able to have children…
When Tenzin told Lin that he'd met a young woman by the name of Pema…
The small rocks around her exploded into even smaller bits and she curled her hand into a fist. Anger pooled in the pit of her stomach and she slammed her foot down harder on the ground.
"Come to the Air Temple with us," he had pleaded when they'd reached the Metalbending Headquarters.
The look she'd given him must have been enough because he hadn't said much after that.
How dare he even think of inviting her up there as if they were suddenly friends again? What was she supposed to do? Was she actually supposed to sit and guffaw with Pema about that one time she'd taken the only man she'd loved away from her? She absolutely refused to participate in that. She refused to even acknowledge he lived happily ever after up there.
Thankful she could hide here (Tenzin no longer visited this place and if he had, she would have never known) away from the judging eyes of the citizens of Republic City, she could wallow in her self-pity and disappointment. She knew she had failed her police force, those citizens, her mother and worst of all herself. She didn't think she could handle anyone else's prying eyes had she decided to walk around publicly.
Not only that, but this training was very vital to her decision to set out and meet Amon face to face. She had made the choice and now she was standing by it and those that chose to join her side – well, she needed to make absolute certain that she was strong not just for her own attempt to fight but also when it came to training her allies.
She leaned forward and stood on a handstand and began to spin on one hand. Her legs steadily grew farther apart. While her legs grew apart, the cave walls began to show lines as if there were invisible blades scraping against them. She hadn't wanted to destroy the cave but she had been working on this bending technique for quite some time.
Just as she thought she'd finally reached the height of perfecting it, she heard a pained, "Ow!" coming just outside the waterfall.
Stopping immediately, Lin gracefully raised her legs in the air and stood on one arm. Slowly, she lowered her right leg down, followed by the other and stood to her full height.
"What exactly are you doing here?"
"I was watching you," his reply made her roll her eyes.
"How did you even know where to find me?"
He opened his mouth and Lin held up a hand to cut him short, shaking her head with her eyes closed.
"Tenzin, I already told you once. I will not be joining you, those teenagers, and your family live happily crowded after in your home. I have far more important things to do. I do not wish to be there and I will not be there –"
"If you could just let me speak for more than a second you will learn that I am not here to invite you to the Air Temple. I only came to see about your welfare."
"As you can see," she lifted her arms high over her head, "my welfare is fine. Now if you'll leave me to it." She turned her back to him and closed her eyes, stretching her arms wide. She rolled her head back and let out a deep breath. In truth, she wasn't completely fine. There was a nasty bruise on her ribs that seemed to ache its worst when she decided to breathe.
"Your bruises," he began and his voice was soft, much more tender than when he'd first come into the cave.
Lin looked over her shoulder at him.
"They'll heal," she simply replied.
Although she'd hid her true feelings behind those two words well, she knew that Tenzin would see right through them. He always had and it was one of the things she hated most in the world.
"I'm sorry, Lin."
Lin gave a huff and then chuckled lightly. "Don't apologize for Amon. You've known me long enough to know that minor setbacks in life like this are just the motivation to keep pushing forward." She turned her back to him again and continued with her breathing exercises.
"No, not about Amon."
She took a deep breath and released it slowly.
There was some hesitation and sighing on his part until he'd finally grown completely quiet. If she could get away with it, Lin would have probably used seismic sense just to see his facial expression. It wasn't like she'd done it to see if he had been lying to her before.
"Good for you," she replied coolly.
She could feel his eyes on her as she rolled her shoulders and she hated it.
She absolutely hated him for it.
She hated that despite what he'd done to her, he still somehow managed to have the same effect he'd had on her when they were young. She didn't think it was very fair that he could move on from her but she was still stuck with the same feelings for him.
When he did not reply, she looked over her shoulder at him, stretching her arms behind her head.
"Is there anything else you'd like to discuss? Any more pieces of my past that you would like to torment me with or have we finished here, Tenzin?"
Tenzin's mouth opened and Lin turned around completely. "I'm sure Pema is waiting for you. Or your children. Or perhaps, even Korra. Whatever is most important for you at the moment." Her tone was unsurprisingly icy and harsh when she'd uttered the words.
Yes, Tenzin, don't you have something to go home to? I no longer even have my job, she thought bitterly.
Met with silence, Lin's eyes closed and she slowly turned her back to him again. He would be gone soon surely. If there was one thing Tenzin was great at, it was definitely running.
But he hadn't run off as easily as Lin thought he would. She felt his warm hand rest on her shoulder and considering that her guard was up and she had been training since she'd risen that day, her grabbing his arm and flipping him onto his back seemed the only natural thing to do.
"Don't touch me!" She spat angrily at him. "Don't you ever touch me like that again!"
She was trembling with anger and her eyes filled with tears.
Tenzin's eyes were wide with shock and confusion. First she'd flipped him over and now she was on the verge of tears.
"I have nothing!" Lin began, pacing around the small enclosed room. "Everything I've ever had any deep feelings for, anything I've ever loved has been taken away from me. What I don't need is comfort from you, of all people. Not only that, but how dare you even seek me out as if you ever cared for me in the first place?"
Tenzin did not say anything and Lin was grateful for that. She'd never really had the opportunity to spit the words she'd wanted at him. She had been too angry when she'd found out about his and Pema's union so her words turned into large rocks and boulders flying at his head as he tried his best to disarm them. Every time he'd attempted to talk to her about it, he would either leave with a red face or bruised arms. She'd never gotten a chance to say all the things she'd wanted to say.
Her mother.
The man she loved.
And now her career.
She'd managed to singlehandedly lose everything she loved in less than fifteen years.
"I love you like I have never loved anyone before in my life. I don't even know how to love anyone the way that I love you. You have no idea how it feels to walk through Republic City and hear about Tenzin and his family knowing that you could never give him that. And you know what the worst of it is? You constantly try to make yourself a presence in my life.
And you're a coward! You're a coward because you could never truly face me and tell me just how badly you felt about our relationship. You had me thinking everything was fine but in truth it wasn't. And because I'm Lin Beifong and I'm tough everyone just assumes or assumed that I would eventually be fine and get over it.
Well, I'm not.
I get cut, I bleed, and I hurt, too."
Lin wondered, as she stood there, looking up at Tenzin who had finally stood up, if she would ever stop resorting to petty school girl antics whenever she found herself in the same vicinity as him.
The butterflies still appeared when he came in close contact, the feelings of animosity and pure jealousy at how happy his life must be with Pema only seemed to flare when she was engulfed in her solitude and no longer devoting time to bending and seismic sense.
"Perhaps if I had just talked with you more – a little better – then perhaps…" Tenzin looked down at her, his eyes locked with hers.
"Then perhaps nothing. Fate would have just taken you away from me anyway."
He sighed and lifted a hand and Lin's peripheral vision caught sight of it. Before she'd really known what she was doing, she slapped his hand away. He didn't bother trying to lift it and that angered her. She gave him a rough shove and when he didn't fight, she made a sound of frustration.
"I'm sorry, Lin. Forever, I'm sorry."
"I don't want your apologies, Tenzin!" She snapped at him and then calmed down, "I'll never want your apologies."
"Whatever you want, Lin. I can give it to you."
His voice was calm, soothing – another one of the many things about him she'd went from loving to hating. Whatever she wanted? He couldn't give her what she wanted and he knew that, she wasn't sure why he had even proposed the very notion.
"What I want," she spoke calmly and pointed down to the ground, "is for you to get out of my sight and let me finish my training."
Instead of immediately leaving, Tenzin brushed back his robe and pulled at his beard. Lin's eyes moved over his long, thin fingers delicately caressing that neatly trimmed beard. She wondered briefly if he moved to his knees between Pema's legs the way he did with her and let her cut his beard so that it was always looking its best.
"Does she?" She asked suddenly.
"Does she?" He frowned in confusion.
"Does Pema trim your beard?"
He clenched his jaw and looked at her. He hesitated for a moment, she could see and then slowly shook his head.
The questions began to run through her mind. She couldn't ask them. As much as she disliked the relationship between the two of them and as much as she hated Pema, she would not be disrespectful.
Does she massage your scalp? Do you lift her in the air and twirl her around as you airbend? Does she trail her fingers on your neck after you've stepped from the shower? Do you two meditate together? Do you tell her she smells lovely every day?
But she didn't. In any case, she was still supposed to be angry at him after all, those feelings were not allowed to surface – especially when they were alone.
"I trim it myself and I have to admit that it will never match up to your fine skill. He absently wrapped his hand around it and stroked again.
Lin turned to him and smiled. "Well, trimming a beard was something I had to perfect. We wanted to make sure you were looking your absolute best after all."
She reached up without much thought and wrapped her hand around the beard and gave a playful tug.
"You smell amazing," he said softly.
"Even after I've gotten all sweaty."
"Especially when you're all sweaty."
They locked eyes and Lin pulled her hand away. Her stomach gave a small jolt and she licked her lips.
It surprised her when she felt his calloused hand wrap around her wrist and she'd closed her eyes before she had even known it. The slightest touch sent a wave through her and she despised the power he still somehow managed to have over her but she did not hide it either. She wasn't sure why she didn't hide it.
She felt his nose press against her neck and she inhaled sharply.
"You always smelled so lovely, Lin," he whispered.
Lin's heart began to race. She could feel the tips of his fingers tracing over her other arm, down to her fingers. Once their fingers locked, Lin looked down to gaze at them.
"No, Tenzin."
He watched her for a moment, completely silent. So silent that she could not even hear him breathing.
"You're right. This is –"
She didn't wait for him to finish the sentence. She pulled herself away from him, although she did it with reluctance while battling that ache she had for him resurfaced. She'd be lying to herself to admit that she did not want what he just silently proposed but given their current circumstances it was just completely and utterly wrong.
So she stepped back and smoothed her hands over the thin fabric of the undershirt she'd worn.
Blinking, she watched the back of his head, focusing on the blue tattoo.
He reached the edge of the opening and specks of water appeared on his robe. Lin suddenly felt sick. She felt like she might just fall over and spit up everything she consumed throughout the day.
"Tenzin," she said softly, feeling like she might collapse. If she were about to collapse, he'd saved her from it. Every moment of her life concerning vulnerability, he seemed to be a looming presence. This time would be no different. He pushed his robes back with a swish and turned around and rushed over to her and took her in his arms.
With no hesitation, he captured her lips with his own, desperate and aching. Lin did not realize how long it had been until she'd given a soft moan into his mouth. His large hands pressed against the small of her back and her chest was crushed against him.
There was no time to stop and think about the consequences of this. All they had right now was this moment and this moment was the only thing that mattered to them.
Tenzin shoved Lin against the wall of the cave and pulled back only for air. His eyes opened and he gazed down intently at her. Her eyes followed as his gaze moved lower and locked in on the sash holding her pants up. If she was supposed to say anything specifically, she only did it with her eyes as she slowly lifted them back to look at him. His hand lifted and slowly pulled the sash away and in perfect order after he pulled it loose from her, her pants slipped down her thighs and in a puddle around her feet.
Sweeping his robe behind him with a swift movement, he stepped closer to her and lifted her up by her legs and used the wall as a balance to hold her up.
Lin cupped his face in her hands and he turned his face towards the palm of her right hand and inhaled her scent. He let out a soft growl and placed his hands firmly on her hips. She was sure he didn't have much time so the swift movements he made hadn't bothered her.
Lin wasn't exactly living her life completely in turmoil and despair. After Tenzin, she had never found another man to fulfill that void he had left in her life but that didn't mean that she did not take her fair share of lovers. Men came and went through her home and she had her brief moments of satisfaction but at the end of the day what she really craved was this man whose lips had found her neck now.
When they first became intimate together, both expressed a shyness being complete neophytes to the art of making love but it was Tenzin that took control as time passed. Steadfast and outspoken in public, Lin loved when Tenzin took control in the bedroom.
He moved his hand to the underside of her thigh and gripped it as he pushed himself closer to her. She could feel the stiffness from his erection pressing against her thigh. Lin's hips instinctively jerked forward and Tenzin's eyes closed slowly once more. He lifted his head as she brushed against his stiffness.
Lin back his robe, moved it up and out of the way until it she'd managed to get the nuisance completely off. He shrugged his shoulders back and it hid the ground, sweeping up dirt around them briefly. She could hear the movements of him unbuttoning his trousers and then the familiar sound of clothing hitting the ground filled the cave once more.
A long, thin finger reached up to trace along the marks on her face and stopped when he reached her jawline. His eyes followed his finger, almost as if he were taking in every spot he'd almost forgotten since the last time they'd been together. Downward on his finger trailed where reached her neck, gently wrapping his hands around it. He tilted her head back and hoisted her up once more as she slipped down alongside the wall. Freeing himself from his constraints, he moved a free hand down to gather his length. Lin watched his features frown up, etched in heavy concentration.
One moment she was gazing at him and the next her eyes had slipped closed and her head fell back once more.
"Ah," she gasped softly as he slowly slipped inside her. It had taken some patience on Tenzin's part and Lin released a soft whimper as she felt the slight sting as he entered her. Lin's features relaxed from the frown forming on her face as the discomfort disappeared. He began to move his hips back and forth, rolling them up and down until he knew she was completely ready for him and then a rhythm quickly followed suit.
Her legs locked around his waist and she splayed her hands over his back. Burying her face in his shoulder, she held on to him as best she could. If she had felt guilt about what was happening between the two of them at the present moment, it had gone flying in the gust of wind Tenzin built up around them earlier.
She could tell he was trying his absolute hardest to hang on to her and she too was doing the same.
But it was a losing battle when instincts came to play.
With Tenzin's need to fill her completely and her need to be filled, she found herself being shoved up and down in a jerky rhythm against the wall. Each thrust he gave had her crying out loudly, despite her strong desire to be as hushed as she possibly could. Her nails dug into his skin and she lifted her head briefly and brought it back down when he'd shifted his hips from a different angle. It was all too much for her, she had lost complete control. The change in rhythm caused her to let out an even louder cry and she took refuge in sinking her teeth down in his shoulder.
The sensation caused a grunt from him and his hips began to work faster.
Lin's lips pressed gently against the teeth marks she left in his skin and she smoothed a hand over it. Her gentleness caused his hips to slow down and he began to roll into her. Lin's hands smoothed over the sides of his face and their lips met again in a lingering kiss. He slowly pulled away from her, his eyes opening and hers doing the same.
Tenzin locked eyes with her as their hips moved opposite each other. Lin draped an arm over his shoulder and slowly licked her lips.
Once again control slipped from Tenzin and Lin felt the all too familiar involuntary jerks of his hips. Although she hadn't had the chance to join him (they weren't lovesick teenagers anymore) she welcomed his orgasm, letting her muscles tighten around his length. Nearly a second later, he came inside her and pinned her hips against the wall as he released his seed. Lin let out soft sounds of pleasure and lifted a hand up to wipe the glistening sweat from his bald head. Her legs slowly slipped past his hips and thighs and when her feet were placed firmly on the ground, she leaned over to grab her clothing.
Tenzin reached out a hand to stop her but she found herself only pulling away from him and she began to get dressed again.
"Lin…"
She knew that he really didn't have the exact words for what just happened between the two of them but she wanted to see him squirm a little. At the very least, she deserved that bit of pleasure, too.
At the very least.
She stood there, nearly naked and her bottom half exposed to him. Slowly folding her arms, she jutted out her chin and simply waited.
"You're beautiful," he replied after some struggling.
The tightness that formed from the attempt of intimidation slowly ebbed away from her face and her muscles relaxed. Whatever her face had been doing at the moment, it made Tenzin smile like an idiot.
It was in silence that they got dressed and also silence that they agreed it was time for Tenzin to make his exit. Lin watched him when he turned his back to her and the very moment he turned around to face her, her back was to him and she had stretched her arms wide like she was training once more. She could still feel his presence and she would not turn back to face him until he was completely gone from the cave.
There was a gust of wind and when Lin did turn back around, hoping that perhaps he'd tricked her just like they had when they were younger, she was disappointed to find that he had in actuality departed.
Her vision grew blurry and her eyes started to sting.
Biting her bottom lip she took in a deep breath and slowly released it.
A breeze danced its way into the cave and Lin looked down at it as it surrounded her and swooped her up in the air. A single tear fell down the side of her face but it never reached the ground, dissolving into the small cloud of wind surrounding her.
There was no point denying it, really. She was still very much in love with him. And she may very well be in love with him until she'd finally joined the spirit world.
And even then she would love him still.