This is my version of the "growing together" part at the end of The MockingJay, from the night Peeta and Katniss get together to the day they have their first baby.

Chapter 1... The Beginning

As I walk out towards the doorway in the non electrified fence, I see the fresh food that is just now sprouting beneath the soft May sun. The door stands in the fence behind the mine, which is now a field full of bright green produce. I stop just as a gust of wind thrusts their fragrances into my face and I breathe in deeply, pulling their sent into my lungs. The aroma loosens up my mussels and helps my breathing become slower though still shaky. I stand there for a few seconds then continue on my way. My bow shifts around my chest uncountable but I don't make a more to rearrange it. As I hit the edge of the fence I stop and count to 10, my feet hit the ground with full force, propelling me into the forest and away from District 12. My chest tightens and becomes painful but I welcome it for it is not from sadness but from the exertion of running. I finely collapse, leaning up against a tree, my hands clutching my side as the cramps make me wince. Not a good idea, this was not a social visit with my wood, I have to hunt today. Peeta, Haymitch and I are running low on meat, which in turn means that the people of 12 were also running low, considering I am one of their main suppliers. Some people around the District have taken up hunting but only a handful. It takes a good 10 minutes for the stitch in my side to relax and after I'm sure it won't be a bother I go deeper into the brush. The sun is rising at my back as I move through the forest. I sigh as I hear all the familiar sounds and see all the familiar sights of the forest. This is the one place that hasn't changed. Though, with a pain -that has nothing to do with movement- I remember that they have changed. Gale is no longer in them with me, and will never be again. I push that thought aside and continue with my task. It takes about 20 minutes before I find game, in the form of a beautiful buck with velvet still on his antlers. Slowly I grab an arrow out of my quiver, notched it in my bow, breathe in and… it hit me.

"That are you going to do with that Catnip?"

I watch as the arrow flies past the large deer and he turns, running deep into the forest

.-Breathe Katniss, I command myself-

"Damn it Gale!" I turn to see him standing behind me, his lips curved into a mocking smile.

"Oh come on!" He snaps, "what were you going to do with all that meat?"

-Breathe in, breathe out- "Sell it." I say looking to see where the deer had gotten off to, maybe I can track him again.

"With all these Peacekeepers around?"

-It will pass, I tell myself, just breathe- he asks with his eyebrows raised, I give up on the

deer and turn on Gale.

"What, you don't sell to Peacekeepers?"

He rolls his eyes –Breathe Katniss-

"Not on Reaping Day"

My mussels stop working and the arrow is realest with out my say so. It sinks into the back of the deer's neck as it turns to run but the force of the shot pushes him to the ground. I must have cried out, my bow is trembling in my hands and I drop it as if it has electrocuted me. I place my hands on my knees and just concentrate on breathing, in and out.

My name is Katniss Everdeen, I am 19 years old. My home is District 12, I've survived two Hunger Games and the war. I am healing.

I walk over to the injured deer. "Shh…" I whisper as I move closer. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

The deer writhes in pain, I remove my knife from my pocket and stick it up and under the deer's ribs.

"I'm sorry." I say once more.

After I am sure that his heart has stopped I get to carving. After my bag is full of venison I continue down the stream until I find a few rabbits, this time I hit them directly in the eyes. The sun stands high in the sky as I make my way back to the district. No more then 3 miles out I stumble upon some blackberry bushes, here I sit and rest. I lean back, eyes closed as the sun warms my face. I lean over and pick a berry. I move it around in my fingers crushing the skin and watch as the sweet juice runs down my wrist. I sit here, eating the berries and feeling the sun. It's late afternoon when I put a good amount of berries into a shack for Peeta and head home. Distract 12 had been restored and Peeta's family bakery is repaired, though it doesn't look like the old building. Peeta had made a lot of changes to it, one of the biggest is that the his bake goods don't cost half as much as they use too. He would have probably made them free if we had as much money as we did before the war. Victors don't have the endless money supply anymore, most of the government's money is going towards rebuilding the Districts and fixing everything the Capital and the Revolution broke, though no ones as poor as they use to be. The bell rings over my head as I enter his fam… I mean his bakery. It smells wonderful, with the bread that he'd baked this morning.

"Peeta?" I call out,

"In the back, Katniss."

He looks so tiered, the dark circles under his eyes are more pronounced in the heat from the ovens, though he looks so much better then when he first got back in August. He has all his mussels back and his eyes are back to their sky blue, with no more clouds in them. He's episodes are less frequent but still happen often enough that someone needs to check on him when his baking, usually Haymitch and I, but sometimes Delly checks in too, though he hates hafting to be 'babysat'.

"Mmm, what smells so good?" I ask, he smile.

"Herb bread, with nuts."

He sets the fresh baked breads on the counter and gives me a strict look.

"Don't touch them."

I roll my eyes.

"Oh, I have something for you."

I reach into my bag and pull out the berries. He reaches out for the sack, takes out a few berries and propels them into his mouth.

"Ooo perfect, thanks Katniss."

I nod my response. We stand there, neither one of us brave enough to rupture the silence. He moves about baking and I fiddling with my fingers. After a few minutes Peeta is the first to sever the stillness.

"So," he commence "how was you call with Dr. Aurelius last night?"

At first I wonder how he knew, but then I remember that we have our sections on the same day.

"Fine." I say smoothly. He gives me a inquisitive look.

"Well, we talked about the nightmares, the panic attacks, um… he asked me that I do

during my days."

"And?" He asks, probing for more information.

"And what?" I reply innocently.

Peeta walks over to me and puts his hands on my shoulders. His hands are strong and warm from baking. The feeling of them gives me comfort the way he always does.

"Katniss, what is it?"

I didn't want to tell him about my panic attack in the woods or the one question Dr. Aurelius wouldn't let me steer clear of. We have this sort of unspoken rule to just let

things be for know, to not worry about, it, us.

"Its nothing Peeta." I tell him so softly that I don't think he hears me since he doesn't answer, but his eyes are full of understanding. A faint smile slips onto his face, and he reaches up to caress my cheeks, his touch sends warmth throw me. I tell myself it's only because I'm cold from being in the woods all day, but I know it's a lie.

"he asked you?"

He nods,

"what did you say?"

"The truth, that we're friends." He says, giving me a smile.

The anger rips throw me as it does every time I begin to enjoy his touch. I don't deserve this, so many dead because of me. Annie has to raise her year old son all on her own because I was a stupid girl bent on revenge. My sisters death sways like a hallucination in front of me and I pull away from Peeta. If I had just done what I was told like a good girl she would still be here. The hot tears embark on a long, uninterrupted journey down my cheeks, my neck, and through the cracks of my jacket. Peeta's face becomes blurry, but his words is still clear as a bell.

"I'm sorry."

"No," I cut him off. "It's nothing you did. Its me Peeta, its all me."

"Katniss." He whispers softly, but his words are muffled by the roaring in my ears and he is no longer visible, all I see are their faces. Prim, Boggs, Rue, Cato, the tribute from district 1, all the people of 12 who blew up! Finnick, Annie, their son, who I have never seen but can imagine perfectly. Sea eyes like his father, brown hair like his mother, the boy who, because of me, will never, ever meet his father. Then I see his face, my fathers face, then my mother, sitting on the bed, dead to the world. How can I have ruined so many lives and yet justify a life happy in Peeta's arms. I turn and run, fleeing.

"Katniss!"

I hear Peeta yell, his voice full of pain and concern. I don't know how I've gotten home, but I curl up in my closet. There is no point to really try to hide, -Peeta knows of my hiding places- so I don't even bother closing the door, but to Peeta's credit he doesn't come to find me. My mind is spinning with a hundred different emotions. Then something hit me in the chest like a wrecking ball, I don't deserve happiness, but Peeta does. Then I picture them, Peeta's family, the ones that he lost. His father, mother and brothers and a new wield of grief hits me. He's lost so much too, his whole family is gone, everyone he loved and cared about. Most of his friends were dead, all of his friends, only Delly survived and he has dead tributes haunting him too. The ones that he killed or had to stand there, watching as someone alts did it. He went through the war, been tortured almost beyond repair. He has gone through everything I have, more actually. Its dark when I am able to move my limbs again. I move downstairs to see that someone, probably Greasy Sae, has snuck in and left me dinner, soup. Then I see the bread I was told me not to touch on the table. Peeta. Without taking another look at the steamy food, I make the 2 minute walk, down the road, to Peeta's house. I see his shadow moving about the upstairs rooms. His art studio. Without knocking I open the door and walk through.

"Peeta." I call into the dark house, no reply.

I begin making my way up the stairs.

"Peeta?" I call again, but still there is no reply.

My hand is raised to knock on the door of his studio when it opens and Peeta is standing in the doorway. He looks haggard, even more so then he did at the bakery. The paintbrush in his right hand is dripping with the color of soft pink and I can almost hear the drops of paint hit the floor.

"Can we talk?" I ask.

He turns without a word but the door was left open so I begin to follow.

"No." He says sharply and I jump at the sound, "Give me a second." He said tenderly, making up for the harshness of his earlier words. "Can you wait in to living room?"

I nod and leave him in the doorway. I run through the speech in my head, everything I'm

going to say to him. I'm on the couch, knees curled up into my chest, when he come

down the stairs and sits on the chair next to the hearth.

"Can I go first?" He asks, and I nod. "I just wanted to say that I am sorry," I open my mouth but he cuts me off. "Please, let me get this out." He begs. "I'm trying not to push you into anything but I know that just knowing that I love you has to be hard."

He doesn't breathe or blink, his eyes are fixated on mine as he talks, begging me to understand.

"I know you're hurting, and I'm trying not to add on to that."

He looks down now, studying his feet. I get my words out before he continues.

"And what about you?" I ask, "what about your pain?"

He looks up. "I'm luck," he says "I don't remember most of the Hunger Games. Well not clearly anyway, I know enough that I'm affected by them, still have nightmares about them. I love my family, and friends Katniss and I miss and mourn them, but I was never close to any of them. My fathers," He stops and takes a deep breathe. "His the worst, but my mother and brothers, I wasn't that close too. It's no where near how you feel about Prim." He stops and thinks for a second before continuing. "I've been talking to Haymitch, and I'm going to leave 12 Katniss, if you want me too."

I can hardly breathe, the though of being stuck here without Peeta, without him, him gone, Peeta gone, not here, out of my reach. I should speak, say something but I can't. I can't move, the thought of him gone has left me immobilized. He's still looking at the floor. No, I should to say, no don't leave me, but I can't bring them to my lips, instead I say. "Is that what you want?"

He looks up at me, "No," He whispers, "You know what I want."

"Why?"

He's face changes but I can't identify the emotion that smeared across his face.

"Why do I want you?"

I nod, but he doesn't see in the dark. "Yes. I have been nothing but cruel and selfish from the moment we stepped into the first arena. I left you when you had been tortured by the capital. I killed all those people, I ruined their lives," I speak the list that is in my head. "Boggs, all those people who are now buried in the meadow." I'm yelling now, not at him but at me, and of course Peeta just sits there and listens. "Rue, Cato, the boy from district 1, Peeta… god Finnick." I start sobbing again. "Prim." I breathe. "Your family." I can see his tears, glassy on his cheek in the moonlight that flows through the window. Now its my turn to look at the floor. "I don't… deserve you Peeta. I don't deserve a happy life with you. But you-"

His voice is so harsh and cold, it stops me in my tracks. "How dare you."

I look up into his face.

"How dare you ever think that you killed them." He raises from his chair and walks around the room, never taking his eyes off of me.

"The only people you pulled the trigger on were Cato and Marvel and even their deaths were the product of the Capitol." He leans down on the couch and grabs my face with so much force that it hurts, willing me to hear and understand him. "Rue, my family" He pauses. "Damn it Katniss, Finnick went with you willingly, he died for something that would give his son a brighter future." He grabs my hand and half drags; half leads me up the stairs. The door to his studio opens with a bang, but this time when I flinch he makes no move to sooth it. He flicks on the light and I cover my eyes in pain but when they regain force I can see it. It's so real, even half way done, she was here in the room with us. The pink on Peeta's paintbrush had been used to paint primroses on a canvas, and my Prim's beautiful, smiling, child like face is among them. No pain, no tiredness, it is a Prim who had never been through pain, never almost starved to death. She is a Primrose that had never went through the anguish of hafting to watch her sister battle for her life. She's a Prim from another, happier world. Peeta's next words though spoken as soft as a feather cut me so deep its surprising that the wound isn't fatal. It's a miracle that my heart is still working, beating, pushing and pulling my blood too and fro.

"How can you insult her memory by thinking that she, that they would want you-"

If he spoke the late words I didn't hear them, if they were spoken it was no more then a movement of his lips. My knees do not buckle under my weight; I do not cry and shake from pain or rage. I'm not angry with Peeta for speaking these words, the words that hurt so badly I felt no pain. I reach out for Peeta and his arms surround me, holding me so tightly that its almost painful, though I wish he'd hold me tighter. I can hear Prim's voice in me ear telling me that it was okay, that I'm okay. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck. We stand this way for a long time, then Peeta's arms slack.

"Lets just take this slow." He says, "we can-" he looks for the right set of words. "Do what we would have done if I had talked to you-"

"Peeta," I interrupt. "There is to much history written to try to rewrite it, and, I already love you." I say this so simply that I'm shocked, why hadn't I said it long ago. The mater was so obverse it was stupid. Johanna is right, I am brain-less. I love Peeta Mellark, I've loved him since our first Hunger Games, really though, I think I've loved him longer.

Peeta doesn't move, he doesn't breathe as though he's afraid of popping this moment like a soap bubble.

"Peeta." At the sound of his name he comes back to life and his lips crush mine with such intensity that I'm not sure how to react. He's been holding back, every kiss he's given me, he has kept under control. But now, now that he knows that I love him too he can show me just how much he loves me. He puts it all into this kiss, his love for me, his pain and anguish. Everything he wouldn't let me see, because he is still trying to protect me. Even now with both of us so broken, he guard me from seeing just how broken he really is. I haven't seen the half of it, how much he hurts and how much he loves me. We come up for air and he rests his forehead on mine.

"I love you Katniss." He whispers.

"Really?" I ask just to hear him say it again.

"Yes, I love you Katniss Everdeen."

My eyes close and I feel my smile increase. His lips are on mine again, his hand on my face.

"I love you too," my hands grip his back. "Peeta Mellark."

His chuckle vibrates on my lips as our mouths move together. His hands move to my waist and his lips move up my jaw to my ear.

I hook my arms around his neck as he whispers "I love you."

My fingers weave into his hair. We will never be able to say this enough.

"I love you too."

His lips move down my jaw, to my neck and I'm struck with the hunger I felt only twice before, but its so new now. Unlike the other times it surfaced then the world was watching and our lives depended on our 'love', this time, our love, this kiss,

was only for us. My back is pressed up against the door as our kiss gets deeper and deeper. I reach my hands under his shirt, my fingers dancing across the scared mussels of his stomach. His hands disappear from my body and I feel the cloth of his shirt brush against my hands, then my check as he removes it, giving me better access. My hands don't hesitate as they explore his upper body, moving across his chest, shoulders and back. I sketch the outline of his scars with my finger tips, memorizing them. I'm so immersed in his scars and the feeling of his bare skin under my hands that it takes him saying my name twice to get me to see that he's trying to remove my hunting jacket. My shirt quickly follows and the feeling of his skin on mine was electric. His hands moves in a similar patterns that mine did. His hands send shivers up my spin and down my arms and legs. My head hits the door as his fingers dance on my collarbone. He is clearly satisfied with my reaction and his lips soon follow suit. His hands move down my side to grip my hips. He lifts me into the air and holds me there in his arms. My legs snake around his waist so he doesn't have to take my full weight. I burry my face in his hair and inhale deeply as his lips move downward from my collar bone. He presses me up against the door freeing his arms. His hands are on my ribs, as his lips move against my chest. I grab his face, lean it up towards mine and kiss him. Now I put it all into the kiss. All my love for him, all my pain and he takes it, he takes it all.

"Peeta." I say after 3 minutes, as I'm awakened to the pain in my tailbone. "this hurt."

He takes a step back to get me off the door but his counterfeit leg doesn't land right. A grunt breaks out of his lips when he hits the hardwood floor.

"Ouch." He moans,

"Very smooth." I tease still on top of him.

"Shut up,"

I chuckle and lean in. He kisses back but his not as into it. Then I realize that the fall knocked the wind out of him. Well not the fall, me landing on his stomach knocked the wind out of him. I roll off but he keeps his hand on the small of my back holding me to his side.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute."

I prop myself up on my elbow and look down at him. His eyes are closed, his chest is raising and falling and his lips are parted as he tries to get air into his lungs. I run my fingers through his hair, over his forehead, across his eyebrows and down the brig of his nose. His breathing slows as I brush the smooth skin of his eyelids. My fingers trace his lips and they move to kiss my fingertips. His hand engulfs mine and I look up to see his eyes on me. He pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses my palm, then the inside of my wrist. His eyes are so soft I can almost see the water in them ripple. He leans over me, propped up on his elbows, just high enough above me so I can see his whole face. His warm breath washes over me. My leg creeps up his and hooks around his waist. His hand meets my thigh and I close my eyes as his face gets closer to my own.