This is my idea of what happened to the metacrisis Doctor and Rose after the second visit to Dårlig Ulv Stranden, or Bad Wolf Bay. Me being a sucker for romance I'm going for something happy, yet with its fair amount of angst and trauma (which I've absolutely never tried writing before, so please be nice to me).
And clearly, none of the elements Doctor Who universe belong to me.
Leaving the wolf behind
And now it was just them. Rose and the Doctor, the Doctor and Rose. And he wasn't even real.
She stared into his eyes in a daze, only faintly registering as the last whirring of the Tardis died out and the beach was once again bathed in silence only interrupted by the waves licking against the coast and a soft wind touching her cheeks. The song of the time travelling blue box still lingered in her head, clinging desperately to her mind but slowly disappearing like sand running through the cracks between ones' fingers. Brown eyes, so familiar and yet so strange to her. How could he both be and not be him at the same time? Be the Doctor, but not. She tore her gaze away from his, it was too intense somehow, and shifted it to her shoes. She had subconsciously started rubbing her foot against the sand, making a mess of the smooth surface, creating chaos from calm, and it felt like something was snapping shut around her heart, like a wire, twisting and burning and unbearable. Fresh tears threatened to spill and she blinked them away harshly before anyone, and especially he, saw them. He. What was she supposed to call him? The Doctor? But if he was a human now, if he was to stay in Pete's world forever – then he couldn't be that, could he? Besides, it felt like betrayal towards the real Doctor – like the metacrisis would steal some of his identity. Metacrisis. He's me. Committed genocide. Dangerous. And she had been so close. So close to having everything she wanted. Months of hard work, of fighting and winning and losing and hoping – ended in this. Still stranded, still left behind. Alone.
"Are.." a very hesitant voice broke her reverie, careful, like was he afraid of breaking her by speaking to loudly, "Are you well?"
She gently untwined their fingers, avoiding his eyes and his question, and instead said to her mother: "Did you call Pete?". She could hear her own voice shaking though she fought to keep it under control, and she hated it. She quickly glanced at him; he looked like a kicked puppy, and she flinched inwardly, but kept her back firmly to him as her mother spoke: "He's found us a cozy little hotel in the village nearby, booked us into a couple of rooms and transferred some Norwegian Crowns to my acco- "
"But I want to go home" Rose insisted with a profuse shake of her head, "I can't.. I.." The worst day of my life happened here, and now it is replaying itself. "I need to get away from here. Far away"
She could feel his presence as he went a little closer; the pressure of his hand against her sweatshirt's shoulder burned like fire and sent her heart racing, but she did not pull away, too tired to do anything but just stand there – between the stormy grey sky, the roaring ocean and the rocks beneath her feet, sharp pieces of a wolf's teeth. Ragged and dark and hurtful.
"I'm sorry, Sweetheart" Jackie said, casting worried looks between the two of them; her daughter, tense and fidgeting, and the new Doctor, utterly at a loss and looking like he was uncomfortable in his own body. "It's too late to travel now." She pointed to the darkened sky to indicate that nightfall was advancing by leaps and bounds. Rose's shoulders slumped slightly, but apart from the defeated posture she did not do anything in means of protesting. When her mother was sure that no argument would present itself she took out her cell in order to call for a cappie so they could be picked up and transported to the town.
The bitter taste of salt from the wind in the bay on her tongue made Rose cough, and the – the Doctor, for current lack of anything better – gently caressed her hair while regarding her with a worried look. "Is there anything I can do?"
She shook her head, ready to turn away from him and go to her mother's side, but then thought better of it. It wasn't his fault, any of this. He had just done what had felt like the right thing and the given moment, and as the real – the other – Doctor had said; he'd been born and raised in battle, seeing blood and violence from the moment he first set foot outside the Tardis, and had had his survival instinct kick in. He had only wanted to protect those dear to him. Only a monster would blame him that basic need. "I don't know" she said, finally meeting his eyes with a tiny smile, which more resembled a grimace as she stepped out of his reach. His hand, with nothing to touch, fell limply to his side.
"I think I know what you need" he said, and an unsecure half-grin lit up his weary face for a moment. Does he wonder if it is okay to smile?
"And what would that be?"
"Chips." He said the word very softly, like was he standing with something fragile between his hands and he wouldn't want to crush it. Cradling a memory of a better day, of one of their first moments of unclouded happiness, of a time where everything was brand new and brilliant and where the sun was shining and where the Tardis was a mean for unlimited adventures and not for fighting horror and absorbing tears in its machinery.
And Rose found herself laughing. How could she not? It sounded so normal when he said it, such a both every day and outlandish thing and the shivering of her cold limbs lessened a little as she answered: "Okay"
"Good?"
"yeah"
He smiled at her, a huge and genuine and hopeful smile, and she tried for a little joke, since she didn't want to be the one to remove that happiness from his face. "But I'm not quite sure Norwegian fish and chips are the same as English ones."
"There'll probably be more fish than chips" he said, a mock-frown on his face, as they started following Jackie who had just finished her conversation and was waving for them to move along, "I don't think they eat anything else up here. Or no, I've heard the citizens drink more coffee combined than any other country on planet Earth". They were headed for a small dirt road which was twisting its way between the dunes. She hit him teasingly on the shoulder, "That's some prejudices you've got about the fine people of Norway, Doctor"
"They are like aliens to me" he grinned at this comment, and also beamed inwardly about the fact that she was touching him again, although only to a limited degree. But then the expression stiffened slightly. "You called me Doctor".
"Oh" she mused, biting her upper lip thoughtfully, trying to seem distracted by keeping track on her mother who was rushing along the road like a dog chasing a rabbit, "Yes. I did."
"Would you rather not?"
The question took her by surprise, and she stopped dead in her track. She turned to look at him, taking in the worried anticipation he expressed, and slowly said "I don't know. I don't think so"
"You could.." he took an extremely gentle hold of her elbow and beckoned her along. His other hand was buried deep in the pocket of his blue jacket; she could see his fingers moving against the fabric, and she was almost sure that he was stroking the small piece of Tardis coral in an attempt to calm himself. "You could give me another name. If it's.. Too much. I don't mind. Really"
She tilted her head slightly and weighted the words in her head. He meant it. He would actually stop calling himself by his favorite alias if it made her uncomfortable. Something inside her swelled with warmth, perhaps her heart, and she wanted to embrace him and take his single beating heart into her hands and protect it from everything bad. It was only the constant pain that the departure of the Doctor had brought upon her that kept her from doing exactly that. Rose made up her mind.
"It's okay. You're him, after all" she smiled at him, trying to convey without words how much his offer meant to her, "But you might need another name. Something to call yourself when in public. I've got no problem with Doctor, but people might ask questions"
"You are probably right. It's not like we want to extract attention in our quiet and uneventful life, now do we?"
She giggled at this, stopped, realized that it felt good, and did it some more, surprised at how liberating it was. "So what will it be? John Smith?" she asked, only half-joking, and he laughed; a calm, quiet laugh that was so the Doctor. "You know me way too well, Rose Tyler. Could you get used to John, you think?"
"Yea, but wouldn't that be just a tad too domestic for you? You might lose your suave timelord image" she teased and felt a new spring come into her steps as her eyes caught a flash of shining white – the generic paintjob of a local cap. The Doctor kicked up a pile of sand, making it rain onto the legs of their trousers like a tiny golden storm. "I can do domestic for you, Rose".
I love you. He'd said that and it all been good and fine and absolutely brilliant, and time was measured in sunlit days only as he stood so very close to her, breathing into her ear and brushing his nose ever so slightly against her throat, igniting the fragile skin. And now his eyes were telling her the same thing; that he'd always be there if she wanted him to, that he couldn't dream of leaving without taking her with him, that all adventures from now on would be together, and that she could finally call him "hers". She might not love him yet. Love for Rose was tainted with sorrow and coldness and uncertainty, and had become something dark and very painful in the years she had been without him. After their last meeting at this very beach, it had felt like her heart and ability to feel anything for other people had all but frozen. Rose had only just started truly warming up to Pete and little Tony when her brother was almost a year old, and then she had clung unto her tiny and broken but very brave family with all her might. She had stuck to them, and to Mickey and Jake as well, for dear life, knowing that the possibility that she could lose them if she took her eyes off of them for too long was very real. She depended on them like a flower was dependent on the sun, and loved them fiercely, but some part of it was a selfish love, originated from a justified fear of being left alone. It would be so easy for them to just up and disappear on her – the universe was, after all, limitless, and without her Doctor and the Tardis she would never have any hope of finding them again. So she kept on loving them in her own protective and egoistic way, while slowly forgetting how it was really supposed to be. Her affection was so cold and needy that she was almost ashamed of it. But maybe this man, this new Doctor, could set things right. Perhaps he could fix her and mend her polluted love.
She craned her neck slightly to look up at his face – he suddenly looked utterly exhausted, and though he tried to keep up a carefree pretence, his lips repeatedly set into a tight and grim line whenever he was not concentrating on smiling. He was thin, and though Rose was well aware that it was only her overactive imagination at work, it looked like his blue suit was a number too big for him and wrapped around his slim form like an enormous straightjacket. "Will you be okay?" she asked him quietly as they approached the car; Jackie was preoccupied with trying to communicate with the driver, who in return looked more frustrated by the minute. Rose understood him well; her mother could be quiet a handful, and cold and tired as she was, her mood seemed to have turned quite foul. "I'm fine" was his automatic response, and she promptly shook her head and set her jaw stubbornly in that characteristic determined Tyler-fashion that he was way too acquainted with, but still silently adored. "Don't give me that. You've not got a bit better at lying since… .Last time, and I'll give you hell to pay if you try to patronize me now."
He chuckled and breathed out in a soft huff of relief, "Same old Rose, you are. That's magnificent"
His world felt like a caress, and her cheekbones headed up in a deeply red blush of appreciation of his compliment, but she would not let him distract her. "This is not over, Mister" she said. She then smiled sweetly at the cappie as him and Jackie finally stopped their bickering, and the three of them settled into their seats, Rose in the middle and the Doctor right next to her.
Rose started feeling drowsy the moment her back connected with the comfortable and nice-smelling leather seat, but she pushed it away. She would not sleep and wake up to find out it had all just been an insane figment of her subconsciousness, something she had wanted so badly to be true that it became it in dreams. No, no sleep. Though she was very tired indeed… Jackie looked more than a little miffed as she slid down beside her daughter. She kept glaring daggers at the driver's neck through the glass-like material that separated the two parts of the cars. "Norwegians" she hissed as the engine roared to life.
"Now, Jackie" the Doctor said, putting on a discrete reprimanding voice, "There's no need for that"
"But them with their bloody talk, I could hardly understand a word of what 'e was sayin'!"
"Mum!" Rose hushed, both because her mother's shrieking voice didn't do a thing for her growing headache, but also because she did not wish for an insulted cappie to throw them out of his vehicle. "He speaks English just fine, even if it is a little accented"
"A little much"
The Doctor couldn't help smiling at this, and felt the need to add in on the conversation, "Your English is also accented. Very much, actually, you just down know it since you haven't seen it with an outsider's eyes"
Now it was his turn to be on the receiving end of Jackie's reproachful stare. The Doctor, totally oblivious to the danger he was about to be in, continued, "Did you know that they teach English in the Scandinavian middle schools, starting when the kids are no more than 10 or eleven years old? Quite impressive, isn't it, considering that they also have their own language to keep track of aaand..". He noticed the warning in Rose's eyes and her silently mouthed "Stop" and did as commanded to for once. Not a moment too soon, it seemed, cos Jackie looked about ready to explode. Though she loved to listen to the Doctor rattling off random trivia, Rose was more interested in avoiding the oncoming storm that was her mother.
She leaned in and squeezed her Jackie's shoulders tenderly as she soothingly, like was she talking to a child that required calming, said "You just need to sit down in a nice hotel with a good warm cuppa, Mum. Then tomorrow Dad will fly right over in his jet and pick us up. Surely he'll bring Tony as well; you know how he likes flying"
That cheered Jackie up, and her eyes shone by the mention of her youngest child. "Yeah. That'll be nice. I've missed them."
"Me too" Rose said and smiled, then looked at her Doctor with a smile that said that the statement was meant for him as well. To her joy he mimicked her expression, and for just a second he was his old self; a little foxy, gorgeous hair and radiant like all the suns in the universe. God, I'm smitten she thought, her head reeling at the possibility that her feelings for him, which had been buried close to the surface for so long, were returning, forceful and overwhelming. She pushed the notion away harshly, and turned towards the window so she did not have to participate in any sort of conversation. Hopefully the Doctor and her mother would think she had fallen asleep to the motions of the car and leave her in peace.
Thankfully they did, and listening to the noise of their hushed chatter Rose absentmindedly observed the dunes and great big stones turning into grassy hills littered harmoniously with grazing cattle. Relaxing to the view of the relatively monotone landscape racing by, her thoughts started to wander into a realm of dreams which she for once welcomed after only a little struggle. Soon her frown disappeared and her breathing quieted. Rose Tyler was soundly asleep.