Jane By Design

Laughing On The Outside

Jane's POV- 2nd Person

You duck your head as you walk down the halls to your next class. You didn't want to run into Billy or his new punk friend. You didn't want to see him happy without you.

But you see him anyway.

He's standing at his locker with his new friend, laughing and smiling, and you feel the corners of your mouth pull downward at the sight. You want Billy to be happy. Billy deserves to be happy, but why must it be with somebody other than her?

Billy has been your best friend, your partner, your teammate, for as long as you can remember, but ever since the "It's you, Jane," speech, things have been different between you two.

You can tell he's hiding a secret from you. You've never lied to each other before. You've been depressed ever since Scary Movie Night. It was supposed to be yours and Billy's tradition, but you had to spend your tradition watching Billy be happy and flirty with another girl while a sullen Ben was by your side.

Not how you pictured your movie night tradition to go down.

So when you see him say goodbye to his new best friend and make his way towards you, you rush down the halls to try to escape the conversation you know is going to happen eventually.

"Janey!" you hear him yell. You don't even stop walking. You keep your head held high, while your hands clasp your textbooks tightly to your chest.

But he reaches you anyway, gripping your wrist and pulling you backwards towards him. Him pulling you causes you to run into the front of his muscled chest.

You rip your hand free from his grasp and try to make a mad dash down the hall.

He simply grabs your wrist again and drags you into the nearest supply closet.

You groan when he locks the door. You wanted to wait until later to have this conversation, when the hurt and betrayal wasn't as fresh in your mind.

"Why are you trying to avoid me Jane?" he asks quietly. You know he feels hurt by your rejection to his presence, but you're hurt too.

You try to think of a good enough excuse that will placate him for the time being, but you can't think of any. You sigh.

"I'm not, Billy," you say pathetically. He sees right through you, like he always does.

Damn him for knowing you so well.

He gives you his signature do-not-lie-to-me look.

"Look, I just don't want to talk right now, okay? Plus I have to get to class and I don't want to be late."

"This is both of our free periods, Jane. Remember?"

How could you be so dumb to forget that?

You look down at the ground, trying to look anywhere but at him. Because you know that if you look at him, you're going to break and all of your emotions are going to lash out.

You mumble pathetically, "I didn't want to disturb you and your new best friend. You seemed like you were busy, and I simply did not want to bother you with my presence."

He raises his eyebrows at you in disbelief. "New best friend? What are you talking about?"

You give him a meaningful look. "Usually when your best friend starts hanging out with other people more than they hang out with you, it's a sign that you've been replaced."

Billy looks confused. "Replaced?"

Your strong dam finally breaks and you start to lash out. "Yes, Billy, replaced! Remember OUR movie tradition? Graveyard? Scary movie? Sour Patch Kids? Well it seemed to me like you were enjoying our tradition well without me."

He looks shocked at your words. "You were at the movie? I tried to find you! Did you not look for me?"

You start glowering at him, causing him to take a small step backwards. "Of course I came to the movie. It's our tradition. But I must have not gotten the memo of my being replaced, because I showed up to find you laughing and smiling and eating Sour Patch Kids with someone that WASN'T ME!" You end up yelling at him by the end of your rant. You stop and try to catch your breath.

You continue on with your rant, softer than before. "And to see you sitting there laughing and being happy killed me inside. Do you know how long I've waited for you to actually laugh again? It's just that I always pictured that I would be the one to make you laugh again. To make you happy. But I wasn't, and it hurt."

He gives you a look that screams You-must-be-insane.

You look down at the dirty floor again. You can't seem to be able to meet his eyes.

"Billy," you sigh, "if you don't want us to be friends again, then you're going to have to tell me now. All I've seemed to do since you got back from juvy was make you even more depressed and miserable, and I'm done with feeling like I failed you. I feel like I've failed to do something important, and now we can never be the same as we once was."

"Janey, you're irreplaceable."

The statement makes your heart soar, but then you ask the question that's been on your mind.

"Then why do I feel like I already have been?"

His warm hand reaches out to cup your cheek. You lean into his touch automatically. Instinctively.

"You'll always be my best friend Janey. I'm not ready to give you up yet. Because no matter what, we're going to make this work."

You melt at his sweet words and pull him in for a tight hug. You rest your cheek against his hard chest and breathe in deeply the scent of him. You missed this. Being close to him brings you comfort.

And as you embrace him, you know you and him are going to be okay.

For now.

A/N- I'm a huge fan of Jane By Design, but this is my first time writing a FanFiction for it. This popped into my head after I finished watching the newest episode. Please leave feedback and advice in your reviews. Reviews are very much appreciated! Hopefully you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this! (Which was a lot!)

Love,

Raegan