Title:Damage Control
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: RenoxTseng
Rating: implied sex and violence but really quite funny
Summary: Tseng have real issues about sleeping around
A/N: I've written this with one hand as the other is holding Ella. If you have two hands available, please comment
A/N2: Inspired by a Bleach fic (I think) I read years ago
Tseng woke up and wished he hadn't. His head was pounding, his mouth tasted like Dark Nation had used it instead of kitty litter and his belly still rumbled dangerously after too much alcohol and too little food. This was why he never drank excessively; wutainese had poorer ability to handle alcohol.
The stink of cigarette smoke reached him and almost made him gag. Bleary eyed he turned over.
Reno was laying next to him, naked and smoking. The red-head turned at the motion and gave Tseng a calculating look.
"We had sex. I want a 25% pay raise."
Tseng shut his eyes and turned his pounding head back. No, *this* was why he didn't drink. Sleeping with an underling – with Reno! - he'd never live down the embarrassment. There where nothing for it. Where was his gun? He had to kill Reno.
"Yeah, Rude an' Elena thought I should demand 50%, but I think I was on top so I'm cutting you some slack, yo." Reno winked. "Never figured you for a pillow-biter, boss."
Oh Hell, now he had to kill Rude and Elena as well. This indiscretion must not be made common knowledge. Killing them might be difficult though, although he could probably get Elena to help him kill Rude if he was shirtless when he asked. Afterwards he could always drop his pants and hope she died of a heart attack.
"Then again, if I was on top I did all the work, so maybe I *should* say 50%." Reno pulled on his cig thoughtfully. "That's what Reeve said anyway."
Reeve Tuetsi? A blurry, alcohol soaked memory stirred. Oh yes, the director had stepped in to the glass elevator when Tseng had just pulled down Reno's pants and was on his knees….Damn, but at least he'd be easy to kill. If Tseng let it be known the man was a double agent for Avalanche then it would probably even be sanctioned from the top.
Of course killing Reeve might mean Cloud would come after him. He'd have to die to. Difficult, but not impossible. Show the ex- Soldier enough photos of Zack and Aerith and he might just commit suicide on his own. Some sort of mild mind-fuckery would do it; Cloud wasn't exactly stable to begin with.
Although Avalanche might be suspicious. Better deal with them as well. A Coral 'work accident', some faulty material that blew up, a malfunctioning airship motor, infiltrate the orphanage with midget assassins…it could be done. It could be done, Tseng repeated firmly to himself. He was still on top of this; he could still control it from spreading.
"Yo, look." A bony elbow hit his side. "Looks like the video cam to ShinRa-tube is still running."
Tseng sank deeper into his pillow and groaned. Perhaps Sephiroth needed some help calling down that Meteor on them all.