----Nightfears----
--Daria--
Daria shifted the box in her hands, fumbling with the keys as best she could while still trying to hold on to it. Everything from her desk at work was in this box, the pictures of those precious few who meant the world to her, her favorite books, her favorite pens, resources, disks.
It hadn't hit her yet, not quite. She knew intellectually what had happened, but like everything else from this month it was still unreal, too far away.
Somehow she managed to get the right key into the lock and opened the door. Her apartment was sparsely decorated, but dirty. She used to be obsessive about cleaning. Somehow it had gotten away from her. Just like everything else.
Everything else. Everything was everything else now. There was nothing in her any more. All of it was gone, just gone, like it had evaporated over night. She couldn't ever remember feeling this hollow. There had always at least been loneliness or sadness or an incredible wanting. Now, there was nothing.
She hadn't even cried yet.
Daria found herself listening to someone else's phone ring. She had her phone cradled up to her ear. She'd set the box down and dialed someone's number without thinking. A click.
"Hello?"
Daria tried to speak, but her voice was caught in her throat. He sounded so far away and so sad. Trent, his voice raspy, weary. She made a choked sound. He sighed, sadly.
"Daria..."
It hit her then, slamming into her with the force of a hurricane. Daria fell to her knees, sitting down hard on her heels. Tears stung her eyes, falling before she could even register their presence.
"Oh, god, Trent..." she moaned. She fell forward, her forehead hitting the ground. Sobs rolled up out of her, loud and so hard to get out. They hurt. It all hurt. So much. She hunched in on herself, clutching the phone tightly. Trent made soothing noises in her ear, but his distress was still audible in his tone.
"God, Trent, oh, god. She's gone, Trent. Trent, what am I going to do? She was my best friend!" Daria wailed, the sobs overwhelming her. Jane. God, how she had loved Jane. Jane who had been there. Jane who had been her friend despite everything. Jane who was her friend. Her friend. Her only friend. Gone now, forever, buried deep underground. There would be no more jokes, no more teasing, no more matchmaking.
Gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.
Oh, she wasn't empty anymore. But, god, how she wished she was. To be hollow had to be better than this. It hurt. Hurt so much she couldn't breathe. So much she couldn't move. So much she was dying. She'd die here, cry out her soul, sob it up.
Trent was speaking in her ear, but he was far away, so far away. Like they all were. Jane was the only one who had been close. But she was gone now. That was all that mattered, that Jane was gone, gone forever.
Forever.
Daria threw her head back and screamed.
The door slammed open causing light to flood her room. Daria reeled.
"Daria, honey, are you all right?"
Her mother sounded panicked. So did her father, but he was always panicked about something.
"Daria?"
Quinn. She sounded timid, nervous, but she was the closest. Daria felt the light touch on her hand moments after she knew to expect it. She gulped in deep breaths to calm herself.
"I'm fine," she managed, but her voice was shaky.
"Nightmare?" Quinn asked.
Daria shrugged. "I guess. I don't remember." She pulled her hand away from Quinn's and looked at the blurs that were her family. "I'm fine now. Go back to bed."
They hesitated, but still left. Daria waited till Quinn had closed the door and then inhaled sharply. Tears stung her eyes as she put her head in her hands. She swallowed hard against the sobs in her throat. For a long while, Daria tried to pull herself together. When she reached a semblance of success, Daria crawled from her bed and put on her glasses. She peeked out into the hall. Her family was asleep.
Downstairs, Daria dialed a number she had long since committed to memory. The phone rang several times before its owner picked up.
"Rot in hell whoever you are." Jane's exhausted voice echoed across the line.
Daria hung up, a sob of relief escaping her involuntarily.
~~~~~~~~~~
--Daria--
Daria shifted the box in her hands, fumbling with the keys as best she could while still trying to hold on to it. Everything from her desk at work was in this box, the pictures of those precious few who meant the world to her, her favorite books, her favorite pens, resources, disks.
It hadn't hit her yet, not quite. She knew intellectually what had happened, but like everything else from this month it was still unreal, too far away.
Somehow she managed to get the right key into the lock and opened the door. Her apartment was sparsely decorated, but dirty. She used to be obsessive about cleaning. Somehow it had gotten away from her. Just like everything else.
Everything else. Everything was everything else now. There was nothing in her any more. All of it was gone, just gone, like it had evaporated over night. She couldn't ever remember feeling this hollow. There had always at least been loneliness or sadness or an incredible wanting. Now, there was nothing.
She hadn't even cried yet.
Daria found herself listening to someone else's phone ring. She had her phone cradled up to her ear. She'd set the box down and dialed someone's number without thinking. A click.
"Hello?"
Daria tried to speak, but her voice was caught in her throat. He sounded so far away and so sad. Trent, his voice raspy, weary. She made a choked sound. He sighed, sadly.
"Daria..."
It hit her then, slamming into her with the force of a hurricane. Daria fell to her knees, sitting down hard on her heels. Tears stung her eyes, falling before she could even register their presence.
"Oh, god, Trent..." she moaned. She fell forward, her forehead hitting the ground. Sobs rolled up out of her, loud and so hard to get out. They hurt. It all hurt. So much. She hunched in on herself, clutching the phone tightly. Trent made soothing noises in her ear, but his distress was still audible in his tone.
"God, Trent, oh, god. She's gone, Trent. Trent, what am I going to do? She was my best friend!" Daria wailed, the sobs overwhelming her. Jane. God, how she had loved Jane. Jane who had been there. Jane who had been her friend despite everything. Jane who was her friend. Her friend. Her only friend. Gone now, forever, buried deep underground. There would be no more jokes, no more teasing, no more matchmaking.
Gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.
Oh, she wasn't empty anymore. But, god, how she wished she was. To be hollow had to be better than this. It hurt. Hurt so much she couldn't breathe. So much she couldn't move. So much she was dying. She'd die here, cry out her soul, sob it up.
Trent was speaking in her ear, but he was far away, so far away. Like they all were. Jane was the only one who had been close. But she was gone now. That was all that mattered, that Jane was gone, gone forever.
Forever.
Daria threw her head back and screamed.
The door slammed open causing light to flood her room. Daria reeled.
"Daria, honey, are you all right?"
Her mother sounded panicked. So did her father, but he was always panicked about something.
"Daria?"
Quinn. She sounded timid, nervous, but she was the closest. Daria felt the light touch on her hand moments after she knew to expect it. She gulped in deep breaths to calm herself.
"I'm fine," she managed, but her voice was shaky.
"Nightmare?" Quinn asked.
Daria shrugged. "I guess. I don't remember." She pulled her hand away from Quinn's and looked at the blurs that were her family. "I'm fine now. Go back to bed."
They hesitated, but still left. Daria waited till Quinn had closed the door and then inhaled sharply. Tears stung her eyes as she put her head in her hands. She swallowed hard against the sobs in her throat. For a long while, Daria tried to pull herself together. When she reached a semblance of success, Daria crawled from her bed and put on her glasses. She peeked out into the hall. Her family was asleep.
Downstairs, Daria dialed a number she had long since committed to memory. The phone rang several times before its owner picked up.
"Rot in hell whoever you are." Jane's exhausted voice echoed across the line.
Daria hung up, a sob of relief escaping her involuntarily.
~~~~~~~~~~