AN: Wrote this long time ago - It's just a random rap about Twilight :)
EDIT: Approaching the two year anniversary, I decided to revamp this, fix typos and such - and replace all of my censored curse words, lol. I was so young when I wrote this, I was hella reluctant to post anything vulgar, so I bleeped out everything with asteisks, lol. But now I don't give a shit. Haha, enjoy. ~ Aly
Bella was a stuck-up, conceited girl
When she stumbled into the Cullen's world
She met Edward Cullen and that was it
She loved him even he's full of shit
Along came Jacob, who acts like a fag
With no shirt on, makes you wanna gag
Bella loved them both, what a whore
Had all this attention but wanted more
This crazy love triangle begins to mold
At least, that's what we were told
But there is one detail that is clear
Both guys are insanely queer
One's a dog who is oh-so-dire
While the other is a gay vampire
Who will win Bella's heart?
Well, the shit's about to start
Here comes James with his coven of friends
There to kill Bella, hoping its the end
But there goes Edward, saving the day
The whole rescue scene was so cliche
Next in the story Edward leaves
Bella whines and pouts, what a baby
Her heart is aching, she is hurt
Jacob refuses to wear a shirt
Now there are all these damn werewolves
It's all because Forks is in peril
Bella like the piece of shit she is
Breaks Jake's heart, no goodbye kiss
Cuz it's off to save Edward in Italy
He wants to die, with the Volturi
Duh, Bella helps him out in time
But the Volturi won't forget his crime
So once again people wanna kill Bella
Or maybe just her vampire fella?
But seriously, who the hell cares
Just throw this book down the goddamn stairs
Things start to heat up back at home
Jacob won't leave Bella alone
Edward gets jealous, they start to fight
Bella doesn't know who is right
She still loves them both, still a slut
Just pick one - the leech or the mutt
The only thing this chick is good for
Is breaking her ass on the hardwood floor
And now the creepy newborns are here
Bella of course needs to disappear
Running from them, she trips over a ditch
Really, she's such a clumsy bitch
Soon the newborns leave, all is swell
I swear, Bella needs to rot in hell
She and Edward decide to elope
Jacob is upset, starts to emo mope
On their honeymoon, they play in the water
And end up with a strange mutant daughter
Jacob loves her with all his heart
That's when the crap began to start
The Volturi gather to kill the bad asset
Bella goes all psycho bitch on their asses
The Volturi leave, beaten fair and square
Bella flips them off, jumps in the air
The meadow fills with hysterical laughter
Everyone has their fucking happily ever after
AN: Epic, right? xD Review, pleaze? ~Aly