Fevers and Grief
by
Sabrina Lonewalker
He stood at the console, sweat pouring from him as his vision blurred. He had caught this fever on Carolon 4 by being stupid but, after losing Rose to the parallel dimension, he really didn't care but now, he needed help, he needed someone he could trust. The problem was, this dratted fever kept his memory shifing but finally, he remembered a name, a face and smiled. "I can go there, I hope." He began setting coordinates. He had to stay conscious until he reached his destination. His willpower was the only thing keeping him going right now.
In San Francisco, Grace Holloway awoke to another perfect California day. It was the start of her month long vacation and she planned to spend it at home. She wasn't much for travel and that brought her thoughts back to her friend, The Doctor. She smiled, remembering that outfit that had her calling him her "Victorian Gentleman". That was almost eight years ago. She wondered about him every night when she looked up at the stars. She had been looking up in the direction he had pointed out for Gallifrey, his home but, she hadn't seen anything there, not even a bright spark.
She walked out into her small backyard patio with her mug of coffee and sat down to read her paper when she heard a sound. She cocked her head to listen and then, her mouth dropped open. It couldn't be, she thought but then, the wheezing and groaning sound grew louder and she watched as a blue police call box materialized and landed with a loud "Whump". she held her breath as the door opened and a tall,lanky man in a suit and a brown trench coat stumbled out. "Grace," was all he got out before he collapsed.
She flew to him and checked his forehead. he was hot, a lot hotter than she remembered then, she checked his chest. Two heartbeats met her ears. It was him. He was ill, very ill. She slapped his face and got his eyes to open. "Doctor, I have to get you into the house. Will the TARDIS be alright where it is?" He looked up and smiled, "Yeah, the old girl will be fine." With Grace's help, he managed to stand and she got him inside and to the guest room. There, she managed to get him out of his clothes and under the light blanket. She folded the clothes and laid them on a chair.
She went to get her medical bag and came back. She began her examination and found that, physically, there was nothing wrong. She took his temperature and even she was surprised by how high it was. The last time she had seen him, his skin had been cool to the touch but now, he was burning up. She sat back, having no clue as to how to treat him or even what was wrong with him. He wasn't human so, using human made drugs wouldn't help in fact, they could kill him.
But, he came to her. In spite of the fever ravaging his body, he had consciously come to her for help. Now, she had to justify that trust. Problem was, she had no idea what kind of fever he had or what it could do to him. She went over the options in her physician's mind and really there were very few. Then, she smiled. She leaned over his unconscious form and whispered, "I'll be back in a few, just rest, my friend." She went outside and walked up to the TARDIS. "I need to help him, can you help me?"
The doors opened and she went inside. It wasn't the TARDIS she remembered. The blue and white console and the library were gone, replaced by what looked like coral. Then, she saw some glowing arrows that lead deeper into the ship. She followed them and soon entered what could only be the TARDIS medical center. She looked around then, heard a whisper inside her head. She remembered him telling her TARDIS was telepathic so, she followed the directions and smiled after all, why wouldn't his ship talk to her, it had brought her back to life.
She looked over as a small box appeared on the table. She opened it to reveal a filled syringe and instructions on how to administer the contents. She closed the box and picked it up. "Thank you." She said as she left. Once back in her house, she flew up to the guest room to administer the first injection. She placed the box in her medical bag and sat down in the chair close to the bed. She was reading her paper when she finally heard him stir. She put down the paper and sat on the edge of the bed as those blue eyes opened.
"Hello, Doctor." She looked down at him. His voice came in a whisper, "Grace, I found you." He managed a feeble smile. She brushed some of the wild hair back from his forehead. His brow was already cooler. "Yes, you found me. Now, what happened?" He grimiced, "I was stupid, poking my nose where it didn't belong. How did you treat..?" She smiled, "I asked TARDIS and she showed me what I needed to treat you. But, why come here?" He smiled, "You know. All of the Doctors on this little blue planet and you're the only one who had treated a Time Lord before."
He saw her eyes take on that faraway look he knew meant she was remembering. He took her hand, "You remember too?" Grace smiled, "How could I ever forget? That machine of your brought me back." He smiled. "I was so glad she did." Grace looked at the clock on the wall. "Time for your next injection." She got the box out of her medical bag and checked the level in the syringe. Then, she looked at him, "Are you ok?" He managed a weak smile, "Just don't like needles." She grinned, "i'll let you in on a little secret, neither do I actually. You don't have to look." He smiled and turned his face away from her. He never felt the needle go in and mummured a small, "Thank you." when she put the box away.
She nodded, "There will be three more injections over the next twelve hours. According to the instructions, that should take care of this fever you have." He frowned, "What about the hospital?" She smiled, "You managed to arrive on the first day of my month long vacation. Don't worry, I don't usually go anywhere. They know not to call me for any reason. You have not interrupted anything." She patted his arm. "Sleep, you need to rest. I won't be far away." He nodded and his eyes closed. She went to her kitchen and made herself a small lunch. Once she had finished with that, she went back to sit in the chair and watch over him.
She had almost dozed off when suddenly, he was flailing in the sheets, calling out a name, "Rose! Rose!" Grace moved to the side of the bed and pulled him to her, rocking back and forth as he clung to her, her shoulder getting wet with his tears. She said nothing, just let him cry till he slipped back onto the bed, exhausted and asleep. She straighted the covers over him and settled back in her chair. She wondered but knew that if he wanted her to know, he would tell her when he was better at least, she hoped he would.
He was still asleep when she gave him the fourth injection. There was only one left and soon, He would be able to leave again. That thought did bring a bit of pain to her but, she shrugged it off. She had made her decision when his Eighth self had asked her to come but, she had said no. He had accepted her refusal but, she had cried all that night after he was gone. She missed him but, couldn't go with him. She wondered which regeneration this was. She might ask him when he awoke.
He awoke again that night, around 11:00 pm. She had her favorite CD playing softly, "Madama Butterfly." She heard from the bed. She smiled, "You remembered." He smiled as he pulled himself up and she put pillows at his back so he could set up. That was when she saw the jagged scar around his right wrist. She caught that hand in hers, "What happened?" He smiled sadly, "Another bout of stupidity." She looked at him and he smiled. "It happened after I regenerated into this form." She raised an eyebrow. "Grace," He took her hand in his and smiled sadly, "This is the second time I regenerated since I saw you."
She nodded, "I see, may I ask what happened or is it too painful to talk about right now?" He smiled, Grace never pushed him. She was willing to wait for him to talk. She deserved to know. "Grace, after I left you, I had to go home." "To Gallifrey?" She asked. He nodded. "It's gone now, all of it." She gasped, "Your home? Gone?" He simply nodded and she hugged him, "That had to be so hard to watch." He nodded and whispered, "Especially when you're the one who made it happen." Grace looked at him. "Tell me."
He sighed and told her about the Time War against the Daleks and what had to be done to stop them and his own people who had grown corrupt and arrogant. Grace listened. "That had to be hard on you." "It was," he said in a soft voice. "But, I knew what could happen if the Daleks attained the Mastery of Time. No corner of the universe would have been safe from them." He voice grew softer, "It hurt like hell though." Grace smiled, "I'm sure it did and the pain will probably never go away. I know mine doesn't."
He pulled away to look at her, "Your pain?" She nodded, "The pain I feel everytime I lose a patient. I know it's going to happen but that doesn't stop it from pulling me apart inside. I just can't let it show, especially around my patients." His hand reached up and pushed back her hair, "My sweet Grace, how hard it must be for you." She smiled, "Yes, but, I go on because if I don't, if I stop, I'm afraid I'll never start again. They need me." He nodded, "That's how I feel."
Grace swallowed and then looked at him. "I want to ask you about something. You don't have to tell me and if I'm poking around where I don't need to, tell me." He smiled. "What is it?" She took a deep breath. "Earlier in the day, you were still rather out of it, you started flailing at the sheets and called out one name, twice." She felt him stiffen then, he looked at her, "Rose?" He said. Grace nodded.
He leaned back against the pillows and told her about Rose and Canary Wharf. Grace listened, her eyes filling with tears at the pain he was feeling. She looked at him. "Not knowing must be the hardest thing to bear." He nodded, "Yeah, I know she's in that parallel universe but, that's all I know. She could have died, she could have..." he stopped as Grace laid her hand on his mouth. "Don't torture yourself that way. You said she chose to come back and help you, right?" He nodded, "Then don't even begin to think she could be dead, that's not fair to her."
He smiled, "Dear Grace, what made you this way?" Grace smiled, "I've never been able to watch people in pain, either physical or emotional. That's the main reason I became a doctor, so I could heal people." he nodded, bringing her hand to his lips to kiss. "I remember, when I was sitting in your kitchen." Grace laughed, "Yeah, you knew I wanted to hold back death." He smiled, "And you still do." She smiled, "I do manage to more and more but there are still those..." Her voice trailed off.
The Doctor smiled sadly, "I know, there are still the ones we can't save, no matter how hard we try." Grace nodded, "yeah, and it does hurt, especially the ones who come in too late." He nodded, still holding her hand. Grace wiped her eyes, "So, you're travelling alone now?" He nodded, "I had a friend for awhile but, she decided to come home, funny, she's a Doctor too. Doctor Martha Jones." Grace smiled, "Wonder what she thought the first time she heard your two hearts?"
The Doctor grinned, "She was very suprised, not as accepting as you were. At least, at first. She gradually got used to the fact that I'm different." Grace smiled softly, "I remember that day. You were sitting in one of my kitchen chairs." He chuckled, "Did you ever get a sofa?" She laughed, "You remembered that! Yes, I finally bought a new sofa after Brad had moved out." They both smiled then, Grace was somber. "I still remember the feel of your hand on mine when you moved it to the left side of your chest. I wasn't sure what was happening but then, I felt it."
He looked at her keenly, "Felt what, Grace?" She smiled, "Life, life in all of it's power and strength. Your hearts were in perfect sync with each other. I had never heard anything like that before and it's something I'll never forget. I never thanked you for that." "For what?" An eyebrow climbed into his hair. "For showing me what was possible, what was out there. For opening my eyes to the greater possibilities of life." He smiled, "Glad I could help but, you said no when I asked you to come with me."
Grace nodded, "I know. Part of me wanted to come because I was hurting from Brad's rejection of me and my life, almost dying will do that to you but, I remembered, I have responsibilities, people here who depend on me. I have their very lives in my hands and, I couldn't walk away from them, no matter how much I may have wanted to. I'm sorry I hurt you then." He looked at her, "Yes, I hurt but, I also understood and I was so proud of you. You stayed true to who you are, Grace and that meant more to me than anything else. Grace," He kissed her hand, "I'll always care about you, you know that."
She smiled, "I know and I you. Now," she became brisk and businesslike again, "Time for your last injection and after that, the fever should be completely gone from you." She got out the syringe and smiled at his childlike grimace as she administered it. "There, all done. Now, would you happen to be hungry?" He looked up, slightly suprised, "Yes, actually, I do believe I am." "Ok, anything in particular you would like?"
He smiled, "Anything with bananas." She chuckled, "That won't be too hard to take care of. You relax, I'll see what I can come up with."
TBC