A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own any of the names, characters, setting contained within. Bioware/Black Isle/Interplay does, with the exceptions of 'Jamie', 'Rachel', and the nameless narrator…
Prologue
"Nestled atop the cliffs that rise from the Sword Coa–"
"Boring. Let's skip to the action."
"Yeah, I want to see what's in the shops."
"All right, so, you're raised within the library fortress of Candlekeep, which houses the most comprehensive collection of writings on the face of Faerun. You've been raised by the sage Gorion for your past twenty years of life, on a thousand tales of–"
"I'm a Drow."
"And I'm a thief."
"Rogue. We're playing 3.5–"
"No way! You said this was ADnD."
"Guys please–"
"You're seriously gonna make me reroll my character?"
"What about mine! D'you know how long it took me to work out poison saves, paralysation–"
"ADnD sucks."
"3.5 sucks more!"
"Do you wanna play or not?"
"Fine, fine."
"Geez, you don't have to sound like you're our mom."
"I've got the sheets here. So you're gonna play the lead–"
"Why does he get to play the lead?"
"Because you don't know what you're doing."
"Make him stop smirking!"
"You want to play a thief? I've got one here – her name's Imoen, she's Charname's friend."
"A girl? I don't want a girlfriend! I'm a Drow! Drow don't need no one. I'm an outcast, an exile–"
"She's got pink hair. And no, you're not. You're raised by the Sage Gorion, away from the Underdark."
"Pink? Cool!"
"This sucks."
"So, Imoen's a rogue who later can become a mage–"
"Multiclassing is stupid!"
"Arcane Trickster. PrC."
"Really? You're gonna let me take a prestige class? No catch?"
"Yeah, really."
"What about the Arcane Scholar of Candlekeep?"
"This isn't NWN2."
"I thought you two wanted to get on with it?"