Title: Cracking the Surface
Author: evacyte
Rating: T
Summary: In a prologue of sorts, Toph needs to vent to an old friend.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I am neither "Bry" nor the "-ke" in the insanely awesome Bryke duo: they're the ones who own A:TLA and LOK.
"Ah, yes… the famous sunset," Iroh grunted as he sat down next to his old friend. Two liquid amber eyes flickered over to the horizon, a giant orange orb melting into the city skyline of a quiet, peaceful Ba Sing Se. A beautiful sight, the elderly man thought to himself. Tranquil. Refreshing, even. He suspected his young guest would have agreed with such an observation if he voiced it aloud. You know… if his young guest could even see the sunset.
"I did not take you as a sentimentalist, Toph," Iroh continued, sipping his ginseng tea slowly, savoring the scent, the flavor, the steam. "I pegged you to be more of a realist," he continued, nodding with his eyes closed. "So clearly does the spirit of an earthbender course through your blood." He coughed sarcastically, if a cough could be such. "So you are watching this sunset… because?"
Iroh's eyes opened carefully, one eye slowly and conspicuously examining the young woman sitting next to him. Between their sparse meetings, Toph had indeed matured ("Though, not enough of her spirit!" Iroh would argue). Her face had lost the baby fat, leaving her rounder cheeks behind and evolving into a tighter, more angular jaw; her childish frame became that of a young woman's, lithe and lean. (Once, she had grown so tall, that Iroh hadn't even recognized her at their next meeting). Even the maturity of the adult world had settled into Toph's age subtly. While still vibrant in her youth, there was something lacking about her disposition, and that emptiness had nestled into soft creases under her pale-green irises. Toph, her body slumped over sloppily and her hand perched against her cheek for support, lazily looked at the old man and yawned. But despite her growing, at least Toph's attitude hadn't changed; it was something that Iroh had grown to affectionately care for, despite his reservations about her stubbornly head-on attitude.
"Iunno," she slurred together grumpily, pouting again towards the direction of the sunset. "And you know I'm not watching it, old man," she wrinkled her nose at Iroh's joke. "I just… I dunno. Thought that just… maybe, being here? Like… feeling it? Feeling the sunset? I thought I could… meditate… or think… or something," she mumbled into the hand supporting the weight of her head.
Iroh raised an eyebrow. "You traveled all the way to my tea shop… to meditate."
Toph didn't flinch. "Yeah, I guess," she muttered.
"But you hate the city!" Iroh said, waving his arms around to the scenery below their table from the balcony. Toph didn't comment, and left him with an unnatural silence. The old man sighed inwardly and nodded a bit. "Okay. Okay. What… is on your mind, Toph?" Iroh smiled.
She sighed. "Nothing in particular."
"So you came to meditate for the sake of meditation?" Iroh's face fell sarcastically.
"I—" Toph glowered at the old man, faltering mid-sentence. "I… just… I want to talk to an old friend." She smiled sadly, pushing her elbows onto the table. Playing with the steam that billowed from her cup of jasmine, Toph said, "I… I just feel weird. And confused. And sad… and… I don't know why, you know?" She continued to look down at the tea, pausing to take a sip. "Your tea's still the best, by the way," she muttered, grinning at Iroh.
"A good cup of tea can clear the mind," Iroh nodded, smiling. "There is something in its warmth and its scent. Being filled with warmth is comforting in itself, and a flavor sharp enough can bring concentration to even the most muddled of minds." But Iroh laughed suddenly as Toph took another sip and said, "But really, sometimes your favorite tea can just make you feel good!"
Toph smiled at her friend and "looked" back towards the sunset. After a relapse into an awkward silence, Iroh tried again. "So… thoughts… of things?" he said, puzzled.
Toph nodded, more to herself than to the old man. "Right," she breathed, turning to face him. "Right." Taking the last swig of her tea, she licked her lips, and said seriously, "How old am I, Iroh?"
Iroh blinked, taken aback. "If I'm not mistaken, you should be 21, Toph."
"I'm almost 22," she said. "I'm basically 22, wouldn't you agree?" she said, squinting at him.
"Basically," Iroh said monotonously, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "Except you're still 21."
Ignoring him, Toph continued. "What do you think Katara is doing right now?"
Iroh gave her a bored look. "What—"
"I'm serious," Toph drew out slowly. "So take me seriously. What is Katara doing right now?"
"…drinking jasmine?" Iroh tried to offer.
"No, Iroh," the young woman sighed. "Katara is married, so she's doing married women things right now, like… stuff. And Aang," she coughed as she said his name, and threw up her hands at the realization of who she was really talking about, "excuse me, Twinkletoes—who is my age, by the way—is a married man. To her. To Katara. They. Are. Married," Toph emphasized, her face super animated and extremely flustered.
Iroh raised an eyebrow. "I was at the wedding, Toph."
She slumped down in her seat. "Well, yeah—"
Iroh closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, deciding that—with Toph's attitude—it may just be best to softly antagonize her for her to be truthful. Taking a shot in the dark at what might annoy Toph, Iroh said, "So… are you saying… that you're jealous of Katara?"
"Yes! That is totally it," Toph beamed, hitting the table quickly with the slap of a hand. She visibly relaxed, apparently satisfied with Iroh's interjection. Flustered, she held her empty cup out sheepishly, and dazed, Iroh filled her cup with jasmine, an even more puzzled look set upon his face.
"…You're jealous of Katara," Iroh repeated, trying not to sound as dumbfounded as he looked.
Toph grinned wider at the repetition of Iroh's apparent epiphany and sighed gratefully. "You know, I'm glad I have a friend like you," Toph said as she blew on her tea. "It helps that you just… get it."
"…right," Iroh mumbled, stroking his beard. Though he had failed the first time, he knew there was no way the next shot at her could leave her amiable. Serious suddenly, Iroh looked to Toph. "You're jealous… because… you have feelings for Aang?"
Toph looked at him, unamused. "Ha. Ha. Good one," she said, scoffing.
Iroh sighed. "Toph, while I see that I have correctly deducted that you're jealous of Katara… I cannot seem to see any reasons of why." Any girl could easily be jealous of the waterbender, Iroh thought. But those reasons were petty and superficial, and Toph, the famous (or infamous, in some cases) Toph Beifong of the End of the Hundred Year War… did not match those reasons.
Toph blushed, drawing her lips into a tight line. "It's because… Because… you know what she told me?" she whispered to her friend. "That she was happily married. We were talking while the two of them were visiting Republic City. It was right after their honeymoon, and me and Katara were alone, just taking a walk… but Katara kept talking about them. Them as a couple, as… one entity," Toph breathed out in a large whoosh. "She kept talking about how officially bound they were," Toph said, as her voice accelerated in her adrenalized embarrassment, "and that Aang was hers forever and she was his, and I could sense that Katara would touch her choker when she would talk about Aang, and Katara's voice had this weird, breathy quality, and the next thing she said…" pausing dramatically, "was terrifying," Toph shuddered at the thought.
Iroh looked unamused. "…and that was?"
"…They've been married a few months, and you know what they're doing already?"
Iroh made a look that Toph couldn't see, something between disgust and surprise and fear.
"Family planning," Toph whispered up to Iroh from behind a hand, as she hunched down and brought her face closer to the table.
"…I see," Iroh sputtered, wincing. Knowing the private ordeals of the Avatar was not going to end well for him, nope, not at all.
"They're happy, Iroh," Toph said softly from her crouched position. "They're already making these huge plans… Twinkletoes wants to live in an Air Temple—an Air Temple—but do you know which one?" Toph's fists pounded their table lightly. "None of them! They're going to build one in my city, and they will be married and they will… be there," she paused. "So close to me… Like some annoying reminder of reality…" Toph drifted off, taking a long swig from her jasmine tea.
Iroh raised an eyebrow. "A reminder? A reminder of what?"
Toph groaned, drawing her head back and slumping against the back of her chair. "Iroh… I'm Aang's age, you know? And he has this wonderful marriage, and this fantastic future, and they're already thinking of kids… and I'm… I'm just thinking about my career," Toph wrung her hands. "In a year, I'm probably going to be the Chief of Police of Republic City, which is awesome and an honor," Toph raised her hands in surrender as she realized Iroh would counter-argue, "but Aang's… the Avatar! I mean… he has duties to perform for the whole world, not just a city! But he still found time to… love, you know?" Toph winced. "And… he's going to make a home… And him and Katara are going to have a new family…" she drifted off.
And suddenly, everything made sense. Iroh smiled at his friend. "You are still in that equation, Toph. You were on that ride with them. You were there in the darkest of times, a part of that family—"
"A little too late, though, Iroh!" Toph cried. She was wringing her hands violently now, her arms swinging around. "It's… It's not that I'm saying I would've been involved somehow in some lovefest of some sort had I joined earlier—"
"But you were. You lot are an incredibly close group of young—"
"I mean romantically, Iroh," Toph hissed, embarrassed at her use of the word. "Like… Aang and Katara… oh, get real," her hand swatted the air, "I knew that was happening before they even realized it. But even birdbrained Sokka had a lover from a previous journey! Then he had Suki! And Zuko ended up having someone back home… And… these people were all I had, you know?" Toph sighed. "They were it. They were it, and I was happy to have them, to have friends, to have company, to understand what actually having a family was—but… but, they all fell in love, Iroh," Toph laughed. It rung loudly, echoing against the tiles of the Jasmine Dragon's balcony. "They fell in love," she said sadly. "And… all with each other or with great friends… And I get it, Iroh. I'm not blind," Toph grinned at her own joke. "They found the best thing to get in the worst circumstances… and… under conditions like that, why wouldn't it survive? If anything, that kind of love lasts," she smiled.
Iroh looked at his friend sadly. "But now…?"
"Now… I don't know," the smile faded from her lips. "I'm happy. I love them. I'm thankful… Without them, I probably would still be the hidden little girl on the Beifong estate—"
"Without you," Iroh said firmly, "they wouldn't have ended the Great War. The Avatar would not have learned earthbending in the way that he needed to. Ba Sing Se would not have realized their corrupt government; your little group of friends wouldn't have learned to detect sarcasm…" Iroh grinned.
Toph smiled, running her index finger against the rim of her tea cup. Ceramic. Earthenware. Gently, she beat her fist against the table, and the cup morphed into an ornate goblet. She smiled softly. "Metalbending wouldn't exist."
Iroh's eyes softened. "A lot of good has come out of you, Toph. You can claim that you needed them… but they needed you just as much."
Toph grunted, snorting. "So… don't I… deserve that though? Happiness? With a family of my own…"
As Iroh looked at her, he saw a flash of emotion as she muttered the word "family". What was it? Bitterness? Contempt? No, Iroh realized. It was longing. He smiled sadly at her. "Of course you do. Everyone does. You, especially," he said confidently, "with all that you have sacrificed, and all that has been taken away from you… of course you do, Toph."
"Do you think it's too late for me though?" Toph asked, her hands gripping her cup of jasmine.
"Despite the bleakness of a long winter, the earth is patient." Iroh stared off into the purple of the sky, as the last of Ba Sing Se's famous sunset had dwindled into a soft orange glow behind the black silhouettes of the city's buildings. "The earth understands that this must happen—this winter—and it is smart enough to wait. It knows that one day, the ice will melted away by warmth, and that spring will emerge again."
Toph coughed. "I'm not that much of an ice queen, Iroh."
"I agree. As that is not what I meant, dear friend. Out of all the people I know, you resemble earth the most," he laughed. His eyes crinkled into a smile. "And like our earth, you can be just as patient. You are young, Toph. 'Almost 22' is not an age where you need to be particularly worried about marriage. Yes, your friends seem to have found the love of their lives," he said sadly, "but just because they managed to find real… romantic," Iroh awkwardly flinched as he used the word, "love before they reached 16 doesn't mean you were supposed to as well." He looked into distance, recalling the youth of those said people, as various memories replayed through his mind.
"As much as what is said about destiny, that just happened to be theirs," he said kindly, his daydream ending. "I believe that you are destined for a loving family in which you will be just as happy as your friends. Will it come as soon? No, perhaps not. But you had to wait twelve years before your potential as an Earthbender was recognized," Iroh said. Casting a glance at Toph's horrified expression, Iroh quickly added, "And I don't think you will have to wait another twelve years for love, not at all. But what I am saying is," Iroh said, as he filled her cup with more tea, "you were prodigal. Your potential came during a period where you had sacrificed much of your life to silence and hiding. And the rewards—in just the year after—were plentiful. You may have to wait to find love and family, Toph, but I have a feeling that when you do," Iroh smiled, "it will be a bond in which the world has never known."
Toph held in her laughter, pausing to play with the steam again. "Thank you, Iroh," she smiled.
Iroh shrugged. "But as you wait, do not forget yourself, Toph. Your role now is to be a friend, a teacher, and now—as I am trying to understand it—an actual role of authority?"
"I'm going to be promoted to Chief of Police of Republic City in the spring," she snuck in a smirk.
"That is an honor," Iroh nodded, choosing to ignore Toph's smirk, and the glint that had come across her eyes. "But it is also a responsibility. While you may feel… strange, especially with the young Avatar and his new family so near you, you cannot ignore your duties. While I think power is incredibly overrated," he said while rolling his eyes, "I find that actively seeking love or forcing it can make one feel even more empty," he finished, while watching the purples of the sky darken. "Love is a mysterious force. Emotions are unpredictable… But you have made a life, Toph; it would not be right for you to discard it. And—as busy as you seem to be—it may surprise you that such a love may happen at the right time, when you'll need it. Patience is a virtue," Iroh smiled. "Or you could also venture to the Spirit World to ask for some of their wisdom!" he chortled, his body shaking with laughter. "That's what I did when I tried to woo my wife. Beautiful woman. Such a short time with her, and yet… beautiful memories."
Toph smiled sweetly, pausing to blow the steam away from her tea, cooling it down. "She was very lucky, Iroh."
Iroh grinned back. "No… no, I was the lucky one, for sure, my friend."
Toph looked back at the sky, which was no longer filled with orange. The sunset had faded as they had talked, revealing the pleasant night sky of Ba Sing Se. "Hey, Iroh," she muttered, while she "looked" at the stars. "Can you tell me what I'm missing here?" she pointed to the scenery.
Iroh smiled at her, as he took another sip of his ginseng. Nothing, my friend. You are not as incomplete as you think, Iroh thought. You are not.
A/N: First off, Iroh was so fun to write. Too fun, actually... Ugh, my desire to be this… old neighborhood advice columnist grandma is way too strong. Anyway, I wrote this because Toph is a bamf, and I have theories and feelings about her development because I'm a fangirl, so I put it in this thing and we'll see how it goes.
Haven't written an actual narrative in a while, so don't kill me with flames please. Leave reviews and CC, if possible. Thank you!