Disclaimer: Kotor belongs to Bioware, not me (unfortunately)

"I don't know, Jasmine. It all seems a little hasty," I shrugged.

"And I don't know why you're always so worried," my dark-skinned friend shook her head and watched me packing my things.

"It is a little inconvenient, you have to admit that," I opposed and looked at her. "And I am not someone they would want aboard such a ship. Endire Spire has a history."

Jasmine rolled her eyes, before the two black orbs looked back at me. "Not that again. You're great soldier and person. Your service records are absolutely flawless and you have nothing to be ashamed for."

I gave her an unhappy lopsided smile. "Yeah, service records… But if they take a peek at the medical ones…"

"…they'll find you suffered a severe injury, spent few months unconscious and had a posttraumatic condition. What of it?" she shouted at me as I left our bedroom and went to bathroom to collect my things. "Posttraumatic condition, yeah, what a fancy way to describe it," I murmured as I wrapped them up in the towel. "Nothing I suppose," I sighed when I entered again. I tossed the towel on the pile of clothes in my sport bag. "Did you know they delayed Spire's departure only to wait for me?" I asked as I zipped the bag. Done, I thought as I scanned the room if I left there any of my belongings.

Jasmine combed her short black hair with her fingers. "Well, that's unusual, but still it's not such a big deal."

"Maybe you're right," I sighed again as I lifted the bag.

"Of course I'm right. Look at the bright side, you get to meet a lot of new soldiers and…"

"Don't, Jasmine, please," I interrupted her and headed towards the door. I still had some time until the transporter arrives, but the sooner I leave the better for me.

"Come on, Ravie, it's been a whole year now. You have to stop dwelling on the past."

"Don't," I repeated, more loudly this time. "The therapy's over. I appreciate you trying to help me, but…just don't, okay?" I stopped at the door to look back at her. "I'll call you when I arrive. Go check your patients in the meantime."

In what seemed like a heartbeat I was sitting in a transporter and was on my way to hangar. I couldn't help but feel a little anxious. In a past few months I felt it quite often, usually before something terrible happened. And not only to me. To be frank, since I woke up seven months ago I felt as if I wasn't fully myself. And I had problems with my memory too. From time to time I happen to see and hear things which aren't true, but somehow I feel they're connected to me. But all of this aside, I'm alive. And that's more than Ian can say. I shouldn't complain.

And so I didn't. I was afraid sharing these problems with anyone but Jasmine would end my carrier as a republic soldier. So I kept silent.

The main hangar was, as always, absolutely crowded. The military part of it was a little emptier, but all those brass-hats around me weren't making me comfortable either. I had a feeling every one of them kept looking at me as if I was some kind of spy or criminal as I had my civil clothes on. I always envied Jasmine that she as a doctor had never actually wore the terrible uniform. She always made fun that the "orange and blue thing" was the only reason why she had ever considered joining the Sith.

I stopped in front of a few small shuttles that were supposed to take soldiers to their ships. Each of them had a name of ship they belong to on them, but I couldn't find any with "Endire Spire".

"Sorry to bother you," I stopped a soldier who on his way to one of the shuttles, "which one heads to Endire Spire?"

"None," he said immediately. "The ship left two hours ago, sorry," he said carelessly as he went on.

"Thanks," I murmured, but before I was able to do something else, I heard a soft woman voice behind me: "You're the new Spire's crewmember?"

I turned around and saw a young woman with short brown hair bonded in two pigtails. She wore tight clothes and had a dark cloak over them. It didn't conceal a lightsaber hanging from her waist though. "Oh…" slipped from lips before I could stop myself. Her grey eyes were watching me carefully, waiting for an answer. "Yes, I am. But I have no idea which of these…"

She stopped me with a gesture of her pale, slender hand. "We have the same destination then, come," she said and without bothering to see if I follow her she started pacing away from the shuttles.

Jedi? What is she doing here?, I thought as I hurried after her. She was very young, around her early twenties maybe and something about her seemed so achingly familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. But how was that possible? I don't think I ever met her, but maybe she fought in the Mandalorian war? No way, she's too young.

She led me to a secluded corner of the hangar where only one shuttle was waiting. She immediately got in and ordered me to sit down on the uncomfortable looking seat as she went into pilot's cabin. I didn't understand what they talked about, but as soon as she returned and sat down, the door closed with a loud hiss and I felt the shuttle tremble as the pilot started its engines.

We sat in a complete silence for a while. She was minding her own business as she read through some data in her datapad. I glanced at the dirty floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the ship all of sudden.

After a while I noticed her looking at me. I lifted my eyes to her and used the opportunity to offer a handshake. "I'm Raven, by the way," I smiled at her hoping to break the ice finally.

She didn't accept my hand and only nodded slightly. "I know. I read your service records. My name's Bastila Shan. I'm member of the Jedi Order," she introduced herself.

I raised my eyebrows. "Bastila Shan?" I repeated in bewilderment. This was Bastila? The one who defeated Darth Revan? "Uh, wow, I thought you'd be…" I tried to find the right word.

"Older?" she finished. "I was told that a lot to speak honestly. But you shouldn't judge people by their appearance. It can be rather misleading. Take you, for example."

"Me?"I pointed my finger at my chest.

"Your records add to your credit. From the mere look at you one could never guess how many languages you've mastered. If you satisfy my curiosity, how did you learn all of them? It must have been difficult."

"I used to travel a lot. I picked a few things here and there," I answered evasively.

"Aha," she mused. "And your ability in hand-to-hand and other combat techniques drew my attention as well."

"I'm a soldier and the training was thorough," I said as if it needed no other explaining.

"Impressive," she smiled and seemed quite content for that matter.

But I had a question of my own. "Why are you asking all these things? We've barely met."

"If you were uncomfortable you didn't have to answer," she said and leaned into the seat, crossing her arms in front of her.

"I wasn't, it was just a little weird."

She nodded. "I understand. And apologize. As I said, I was curious."

"It's okay. How did you end up in one of the republic missions?"

She frowned a little. "It's not republic mission, not entirely."

"What does it mean?"

"Miss Shan?" The pilot's voice shot through the room via Bastila's comlink. "We're about to board the ship. ETA in less then a minute."

Bastila lifted her hand so that she could speak into microphone. "Understood. Thank you." She never answered my question though.

It wasn't long after that when I was standing beside Bastila in that huge hangar full of ships and fighters. It brought back lot of buried memories from the war. How it felt to be on the battlefield, all those explosions and shooting. I could almost smell the smoke and blood, hear screaming of my comrades and…

"Something's wrong."

"The towers! They're still active!"

"Hell! They will rip us apart; we'll never reach their camp. We have to pull back!"

"We can't, Alek, we have only this one chance!"

"Do you want to end up like Jaden? She lost half of her squad on that mine field."

"Of course not. I got an idea. Got a grenade or two?"

"Yeah, why?"

"It's now or never…"

"Wait, what are you…No! Get back!"

"Raven Simons?" The quiet voice near my ear started me. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you. Name's Trask, Trask Ulgo." I kept looking at the soldier in front of me as he extended his hand. It took me a few seconds to realize what he wanted. "I'm Raven," I stuttered as we shook hands.

"Please to meet you. Come, I was send to show you our quarters."

"Our?" I asked as he began to pace towards the exit, leading me with him.

"Yeah, I'm your roommate. Do you want to help with that bag?"

"Eh? No, thanks, it's not that hea…" He wasn't listening to me. He just slipped the sling off my shoulder and tossed it over his.

"Thanks," I murmured.

"You're welcome. Have you ever been to ship like that? In the hangar you seemed little in awe. You were staring at the fighters as if you never saw them before," he went on.

Talkative one, are you, hm?, I thought. "Of course I have, during the war. Thought not as big as this one, that's true."

"You fought Mandalorians? That makes us two of a kind," he grinned at me.

"Yeah, with the rest of the Republic," I said, not smiling at all. I was looking around, seeking anything that would help me to orientate myself, but all the corridors looked the same.

"What was your previous assignment?"

"What? Eh…I was stationed at some backwater planet," I answered blankly. "And Telos before that," I added. "Is there a map of the ship somewhere? I have a feeling I'll need it."

"Telos? You mean Citadel station?"

"No, I mean Telos. I got lucky they had me transferred shortly before the attack." Strange, I said the word twice, and in both cases it sounded hollow. As if it the place meant nothing to me. And yet I felt this emptiness where Telos used to be. But it was nothing in comparism with what I felt when I thought a year back. The accident...

"That asshole got what he deserved," Trask growled angrily. "I had a lot of friends down there. None of them got out of there. I was shocked when I heard what had happened."

"I didn't want to believe it at first," I nodded. "I met Revan once. He was…a hero. He saved us. And when they told me he'd led the attack I was…" I laughed bitterly.

"I know what you mean. I don't think anyone expected it."

I shrugged. "What happened happened. Now we must concentrate on battles that are yet to come."

"Yeah. Malak's even worse than his Master used to be. But enough of it, we're here. This is your new home…at least before something blows this ship up," he laughed, but I didn't find it funny at all. It made me hope that I'll get the opposite schift than him.

"Isn't it a little large for only two people?" I asked as he opened the door. On each side of the room there was a bed with few iron lockers and a bedside table. It had a large window on its wall which made the room even more spacious and there were few plants.

"You're complaining?" He asked as he went inside to put my bag on the floor near my bed. "Your equipment is here," he patted one of the lockers. "The others are for your personal things. The shower is shared and it's not far from here, just go down the corridor, you can't miss it. You should put on your uniform and go report your arrival. I would show you around a little more, but my schift's about to start so maybe later."

"Okay, no problem, thanks."

"See ya, Rav," he smiled at me before leaving me finally alone. I sighed. "My new home until it gets blown up. Very funny," I shook my head and looked around. It wasn't bad looking, actually it was quite nice. I stepped towards the large window to admire the fantastic view. I always loved watching stars. It reminded me my sister. She used to sit with me outside our house and teach me their names. Morgana was only five years older then me and yet she had a lot of knowledge about space. She's the only member of my family I really miss. "I wish you could be here with me now, sis," I whispered. "You always wanted to travel."

Raven, time to move, I berated myself and turned away from the window. I went to my bag and opened it. I pulled out the towel with my things wrapped in it and as it was I shoved it inside one of the lockers. It was followed by the rest of my things.

I changed then from my clothes into that tight uniform. I fastened my comlink on my wrist. I put Ian's dog tags around my neck. I left the room and went to find the showers Trask had mentioned. The bathroom was empty which I welcomed. It was divided into two parts; one contained showers and the other toilets and wash-basins. I went to those and looked at my reflection in large mirror that was above them. The woman I saw was looking at me with tired expressions and she had deep dark circles under her yes. Her hair was a little dishevelled so I tried to comb it with my fingers but it was to no use, they were far too long for that. So instead of that I simply bond them into firm ponytail.

"Well, it won't be any better," I sighed and left the bathroom. I had to find the soldier I'm to report to and as I had been told he should be somewhere near the bridge. I had a certain problems to get there, but I managed. There I was told I have eight hours for myself before my schift starts. I was to guard the bridge, which is incredibly fantastic job for a rookie. Almost...

I wanted to rest a little but I had one difficult task to do yet. I had to find communication room and call Jasmine. I gave her a promise I would.

Jasmine was as cheerful as always when her blue-self appeared in front of me. She was smiling broadly. "Hey there, you took your sweet time. I almost thought you had forgotten me."

"You're hard to forget, don't worry," I answered with a slight smile.

"So…what is it the ship like? And the crew?"

I sighed. "I don't know. I'm not here that long. But roommate is…eh…far too much sociable for my liking."

She laughed. "Or maybe you're unsociable. Is he handsome?"

"Jasmine," I scowled at her.

"Okay, okay. What's your job?"

"I guard the bridge," I shrugged.

"What? You're there for what…an hour?...and you get to serve on the bridge?"

"I told you something was amiss. Besides, we have Jedi onboard."

Jasmine blinked a few times. "Jedi? Why?"

"She said something about this mission being not entirely in the Republic's hands. I'm really beginning to be afraid of what I got myself into this time." She surprised me when she laughed. "That's not funny, I mean it!"

"You talk as if troubles followed you everywhere you go."

"Don't they? The Jedi is Bastila Shan."

My friend clasped hand over her mouth and gasped. "Bastila Shan? The Bastila?"

"Yeah, exactly the one."

"Oh…yeah," she said slowly and deep frown appeared on her face. "That means you're in hell of a trouble."

"Jasmine, I'm being serious here. Something's going on and…I know her."

"Whom?"

"Bastila," I was really getting impatient. "I know from somewhere."

"Maybe she fought in the war. A lot of Jedi did," she offered me the only logical explanation, but…

"She's about twenty. And the war was five years ago. I don't think so. And then there's…the thing. I had it again. I thought you should know it, as my former therapist."

Now this time Jasmine finally stopped grinning. "What was it about?"

"The war. Ships in the hangar triggered it. It was the second battle of Dxun. It felt as if I was on the ground, but that wasn't true. I never set a foot on that planet, but I was there. I don't remember much of it, but it felt so real…"

"Oh, dear…I knew you should have had a few months off yet. You should rest, maybe it'll help."

"I'm tired…and anxious and afraid of…" Until it gets blown up…popped immediately in my mind. I rubbed my eyes with my fingers. "Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I think there's more than meets the eyes. But you're right of course. I should go to bed."

"Honey, don't stress yourself that much, okay? Please, take care."

"I will. I'll call you as soon as I can," I whispered as I was already reaching to shut the machine off. I stood up from the seat and left the tiny room. As I wasn't paying attention I accidentally bumped into someone.

"Ana?"

"Excuse me?" I asked as I looked at the man. He had short brown hair with two locks reaching into his brown eyes. He had astonishment in them, but only for a second. "Sorry, I mistook you for someone." It was hard not to notice the outstanding orange vest he had on.

"It's okay," I shrugged him off and passed him by.

"I don't think I have seen you before," he said. His voice was as smooth as velvet.

"I'm new here," I answered over my shoulder. "But sorry. I'm not in mood for chatting right now."

"Bad news? " He asked again and pointed behind himself.

"You could say that," I nodded as I finally left the room. I wanted nothing more then to lie in bed and fall asleep. Maybe I'll feel better then.

Okay, the end (for now or forever, dunnot yet). Thank you all for reading the story. It's the first one I ever wrote in English so I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes. If you noticed some go ahead and let me know, because the main reason I started writing this (except for the fact I love this story) was to practise English. I hope you liked it...at least a little :)

Any reviews would be very appreciated. Unfortunately you won't get any cookies or sweets for them, but you'll have my thanks :)