A/N: Yes, my first Harry Potter fanfiction, and hopefully not my last. Sorry if I put any inaccuracy in this; I don't really go through the Harry Potter fanfictions as much as Final Fantasy. But I absolutely adore the series and all the surprises revealed towards the end. And despite how cruel he could be to Harry and how evil he seems, I came to admire his character the most. So here's a short but bittersweet drabble having to do with his early love for Harry's mother, Lily.
Just a note, Evanesco is an invisibility spell, at least from what I was told.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the seven books or the brilliant ideas of J.K. Rowling.
Though the clouds couldn't seem to make up their mind that day, Severus was satisfied with the fair weather and gentle breezes. It wasn't too hot or cold and it seemed suitable for early autumn. He wouldn't have asked for it any other way.
"Isn't it lovely, Sev? All the leaves…" Lily smiled serenely as she sat down at the edge of the hill, lying down so her body was tilted in the perfect cloud-gazing position. The breeze ruffled her floral dress lightly and brushed her burgundy locks to frame her face, every now and then a small autumn leaf brushing her cheeks before blowing away. Severus never grew tired of watching her. She was still so childish, but she was so spirited and carefree.
"It is nicer than Spinner's End," the boy agreed.
"It really is," Lily sighed. She stretched out her arms before folding them across her stomach. "You know, I imagine that this is what being in heaven is like."
"Hogwarts? Heaven?" The comparison was far too odd to make any sense. Hogwarts wasn't heaven at the least. Despite its wonderful qualities, it was a school, and that meant tests and bullies. Namely, the OWLS and the Marauders.
"Not Hogwarts, silly!" Lily's laugh rang like a tinkling bell. "I mean this moment, right here. I feel so safe here with you. No one else to intrude or make fun of us, nothing to break the peace…"
"It's only a single moment, Lily. It's not going to last forever," Severus reminded her as he slowly made his way down to Lily's side, joining her as he laid down on his back.
"I only wish it could," the young girl whispered. "I could forget all my worries in moments like these. Like the fact that I'm a…I'm a – "
"You don't have to say it out loud, Lily," Severus quietly cut in. "Potter's nothing but a bully. Don't pay attention to anything he says."
Despite his attempt to comfort her, Severus could see a single, crystalline tear glisten on her eye, paying no regard to the sad smile on her face. "He's not lying, Sev."
"He's just making Muggle-born people sound like a whole different species from wizards," the boy said.
"Honestly, I don't get what it is with wizards and bloodlines," Lily said. "I mean, what if I was a pureblood? Would that make me any better at magic? Is it supposed to mean something, Severus? Surely I could be just as good as James."
"Bloodlines are just something for purebloods to brag about." Severus turned his head towards Lily, prompting her to connect her gaze with his. Her emerald eyes still glistened, threatening to spill more crystalline tears. He could hardly bear to see her like this. "I'm a half-blood, Lily. I'm a target of the purebloods too."
Their gazes broke, and Severus turned to stare up at the sky again. A short silence followed, and for a blissful moment, the only sounds that could be heard were the grasses being rustled by the autumn wind and the occasional bird singing a sweet, melancholic melody. These are the kind of moments that Lily treasures the most.
"Severus?"
"Yes, Lily?"
"Don't you ever wish you could just disappear?"
Disappear? What did she mean by disappear? That could mean anything, if one thinks about all the definitions of this term. It could be momentary or permanent. Like a ghost or a mere memory. "Disappear how, Lily?"
"Like…as simply as Evanesco," Lily clarified. "To just go invisible, and pretend that no one can see you. So no one can hurt you, or make fun of you, or – "
"I've wished that many times." Severus couldn't help his sharp tone or the coldness in his voice, or his fists suddenly clenching so hard that he could feel his knuckles going pale. So many times had he wished to escape the laughing of the Marauders or to hide from James Potter's mocking face…
"That makes two of us. Alone, facing all the judgments we have to endure," the girl said wistfully.
"You know, Lily…Evanesco isn't permanent. We're not living in heaven. There's still so much more out in the world that we'll have to face someday."
"I know that." Pallid eyelids closed over the green orbs, closing off their light. Lily's lips curled into a small smile. "You know, Sev, it's sort of been like a dream, meeting you and finding out that I'm a witch. I can still hardly believe I can do magic. But you've always been there for me, to guide me and comfort me, even when I'm feeling so helpless."
Severus had no clue how to respond to that. Was there even anything he could say without sounding too awkward? He was never good at conversations…
"Sure, one little spell can't solve all our problems," Lily continued. "But when there's someone else who knows the same pain you do…it makes life just a little more bearable."
Her words were sinking into his mind slowly, triggering a large wave of bliss to blossom in his chest. It was a feeling all too foreign to him, but at the same time, so familiar whenever Lily Evans was around. It was love. He loved this girl lying beside him more than anyone else at Hogwarts, and he felt, more than anyone else in the world. She understood his pains, his troubles, and would always listen to what he had to say. He never had a friend like her, someone who could truly interpret his heart. At that moment, Lily Evans meant the world to him.
Out of impulse, Severus slowly reached out his hand and brushed Lily's fingertips. She turned to him, looking surprised for a moment. But she willingly laced her fingers through his, linking them together. A soft smile played on her lips. "Thank you, Sev."
That was all he needed to hear to smile back at her.
Little did the two know that it was the day when their friendship would end. This was the day Severus Snape called Lily Evans a Mudblood, thus prompting Lily to push Severus away for the rest of her life. As years passed, Severus missed Lily's company terribly and tried to regain her trust, but with no avail.
The worst pain came when Severus watched his childhood love falling for the only one he hates; James Potter. Even when Lily took on Potter as her name, Severus still loved her. Even when they had their first son, Harry, he still loved her.
The tragic day of Lily's death was one that Severus would never forget. He was the first to embrace her body after her spirit left it. He shed many tears that day, holding onto the woman he loved from boyhood and had never been able to win back. She was the reason Severus had been watching Harry Potter closely for the next seventeen years. He needed to make sure her sacrifice for her son wasn't in vain.
Severus Snape died protecting Lily Evans Potter's only son. The man whom Harry believed had no ability to love turned out to be the one who could love to most.