We Hates Them
by Talisha Hibdon
Author note: The disclaimer telling you that I don't own Frodo or Sam or Gollum or any of Tolkien's world was eaten by the Balrog. >=D This takes place during the chapter Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit, from Gollum and Smeagol's point of view. If you have not read the The Two Towers you may not want to read this story, although I don't think this fanfic is much of a spoiler. If seeing Gollum having slashy thoughts squicks you, don't read. Simple as that. Don't come to me with some stupid complaint about "Sam/Frodo/Gollum isn't gay" or "you can't call yourself a Christian if you write slash" or all that other stuff (and I've really heard all these things before. Sorry but it's just annoying. You guys aren't saying anything new.) Please be kind when you review! ^_^
We hates them.
The nasty hobbit wants us to gets him food, and we do gets it, yess, even though we hates him most, yesss, only because Master would get angry at us if we throttle him like we wants, curse them, gollum. How did we get involves with them, precious?
I was following, following him, looking for my birthday present. Smeagol couldn't let it go. And I don't hate Master. Cruel hobbit Samwise yes, perhaps, but not the nice hobbit, no.
We hates them! Bagginses stole it, yess, stole our Precious he did. We hates all Bagginses.
But he's so kind to poor Smeagol. Sam snaps and growls, but Master always speaks so soft. Just like-
Forget him, precious! He's dead, downed in Great River, gollum. Leave him! Sssss... sssss.... ACK! Gots them, precious, nice rabbitses. We're hungry, yes precious. We will eats these...
No, rabbits are for the hobbitses, for Master. Smeagol will take these to Sam. Good Smeagol.
And what do we eats then, precious, eh? Can't find nice fisheses, and hard enough finding rabbitses. Why should we give them to nasty, tricksy hobbitses? We hates them. We should eats rabbitses now, precious, never know when we'll be eating next, gollum.
Smeagol does what he's asked, even if I don't like it, even if I starve. Smeagol promised to Precious to serve Master, and Master is hungry too. There he is, nasty hobbit Samwise, but what's he doing? Kneeling next to Master?
Maybe cruel hobbit will throttle the Baggins while he sleeps, yesss precious. See how he reachesess to grab his head?
No, he's soft with Master, only touching his face he is. Sam won't hurt him ever. Smeagol knows, he sees the looks the hobbit gives Master. Smeagol remembers, yes, remembers what those looks mean. Wait, what's he saying?
"I love him. He's like that, and sometimes it shines through, somehow. But I love him, whether or no."
Ssss! Ssssss!
Ohh... My heart hurts.
Nasty hobbitses!
Smeagol doesn't think so. I remember, remember when my love once said the same thing to me.
He should throttle him, squeeze him, yesss! Just like we dids once, gollum!
Smeagol didn't want to! I didn't. But Deagol.. Deagol... he wouldn't give me my brithday present.
It was ours, precious! He deserved to die, yesss, he did, just like Bagginses deserves to die, gollum.
Smeagol shouldn't be watching this, no. I will leaves them be.
Then let's eat rabbitses, precious, we're so hungry, gollum. Ack, ssss, too late! Here comes nasty, cruel hobbit!
"Smeagol always helps. He has brought rabbits, nice rabbits. But Master has gone to sleep, and perhaps Sam wants to sleep. Doesn't want rabbits now? Smeagol tries to help, but he can't catch things all in a minute."
"Well you'll soon find out whether we'll want them or not. Here. Go and fill these pans with water, and bring 'em back!"
"Smeagol will fetch water, yes. But what does the hobbit want all that water for? He has drunk, he has washed."
"Never you mind. If you can't guess, you'll soon find out. And the sooner you fetch the water, the sooner you'll learn. Don't you damage one of my pans, or I'll carve you into mincemeat."
Curse him, ssss. We hates him, precious, oh yesss. Stupid hobbit, wanting water when there's no needs for it yet. Talking to us thus, gollum. Hates him, we does, would like to squeezeses his neck, we would.
Smeagol wonders. What does he want the water for? Won't do him good, no it won't. Smeagol knows. He drank, he washed. But good Smeagol does what he's asked. I get water for him.
Here's water, yessss. We gots it, now back to the hobbitses. Back, before they runs away, precious.
Wait, Smeagol remembers something. Long ago, when Smeagol was young. Grandmother, in house, getting water, getting meats, and.. and...
"Ach! Sss - no! No! Silly hobbits, foolish, yes foolish! They mustn't do it!"
"Mustn't do what?"
"Not make nassty red tongues. Fire, fire! It's dangerous, yes it is. It burns, it kills. It will bring enemies, yes it will."
"I don't think so. Don't see why it should, if you don't put wet stuff on it and make a smother. But if it does, it does. I'm going to risk it, anyhow. I'm going to stew these coneys."
"Stew the rabbits! Spoil beautiful meat Smeagol saved for you, poor hungry Smeagol! What for? What for, silly hobbit? They are young, they are tender, they are nice. Eat them, eat them!"
We knew it, precious, should have eats it when we hads the chance! Ssss, should take them back now!
But Master.. Master needs to eat too..
"Now, now! Each to his own fashion. You needn't watch me. Go catch another and eat it as you fancy - somewhere private and out o' my sight. Then you won't see the fire, and I shan't see you, and we'll both be happier. I'll see the fire don't smoke, if that's any comfort to you."
No comfort, filthy hobbit. Spoiling poor rabbitses! Precious hopes the hobbits chokes on them!
Deagol used to eat food like that.
Forgets him!
"Gollum! Third time pays for all. I want some herbs. A few bay-leaves, some thyme and sage, will do - before the water boils."
"No! Smeagol is not pleased. And Smeagol doesn't like smelly leaves. He doesn't eat grasses or roots, no precious, not till he's starving or very sick, poor Smeagol."
"Poor Smeagol will get into true hot water, when this water boils, if he don't do as he's asked. Sam'll put his head in it, yes precious."
Nasty, cruel hobbit! We wants to throttle him so, yess!
Smeagol doesn't sound like that.
"And I'd make him look for turnups and carrots, and taters too, if it was the time o' year. I'd give a lot for half a dozen taters."
Taters?
Taters?
"Smeagol won't go, O no precious, not this time. He's frightened, and he's very tired, and this hobbit's not nice, not nice at all. Smeagol won't grub for roots and carrotses and - taters. What's taters, precious, eh, what's taters?"
"Po-ta-toes. The Gaffer's delight, and rare good ballast for an empty belly. If you turn over a new leaf, and keep it turned, I'll cook you some taters one of these days. I will: fried fish and chips served by S. Gamgee. You couldn't say no to that."
"Yes, yes we could. Spoiling nice fish, scorching it, sss! Give me fish now, and keep nassty chips!"
"Oh you're hopeless. I'll get some herbs myself, providing that they're not out of sight of where you are. Go to sleep!"
Fine, nassty hobbit. Choke on herbs, cruel, foolish hobbit! We hates him, ssss.
Smeagol wonders. Does Master likes taters?
Both hobbitses are nassty, precious. Look at him, laying there. Could throttle him now, we could, yesss.
He doesn't look nasty to Smeagol. And Sam will kill us if we try anything.
Not before we gets him first, precious. Hmm, poor little Master, sleeping... How he trusts us not to kill him in his sleep, foolish hobbit....
Master looks so peaceful. Beautiful.. He looks like...
He's dead, precious, forget him.
But I can't. I loved him.
We only love the Precious, gollum.
That's not true. Smeagol loved Deagol.
But we killed him, precious. Is that love?
Smeagol didn't want to do it. I didn't want to hurt him. And I don't want hurt Master either. I... I...
We could, precious, could snap his neck, before nasty suspicious hobbit knows it and stops us. And then we'd have it, yes, yesss, our Precious...
But we promised! Smeagol promised not to harm Master! And I... and I... don't want to hurt him.
He's a Baggins, my precious, we hates him!
I don't.
We hates him!
I don't!
"Mmmm.... Sam...."
Ssss! See, he calls for the cruel hobbit in his sleep! Kill him! Kill him now, while we have the chance!
No! I'm not listening to you anymore! I won't hurt Master! I!-... I l-love-
"Ai! What are you doing pawing Mr. Frodo? Get away!"
"We wasn't doing nothing wrong, no. Good Smeagol only watches over Master, yes he does."
"No he doesn't. Get you away. I'll be the one to watch over Master."
We can't have it.
I can't have him.
We wants it.
I want him.
Nassty hobbits.
Always together.
Keeping the Precious.
Keeping each other.
We hates them.