After All, a naruto fanfic

After All

(Raven)

Summary: A depressed and suicidal girl is found nearly dead on the outskirts of Konoha. Schizophrenic, hallucinating, and hearing voices in the back of her head, this girl is clearly insane. With some help from Konoha-nins (and perhaps Suna), this girl may be able to come back and enjoy what life is truly about.

A/N: This is angsty. Very, very angsty. If you don't like suicide, blood, gore, yadda yadda yadda, I suggest you don't read this. Starts off PG-13, may be eventual 'R' with uh...concepts not suitable for children (i.e. suicide, death, hell, ect.) Also, this is NOT a romance...heck, I don't even know how to write one! ...But, this might. I dunno.

My life is over
My death must occur
There is no hope
My heart is torn apart
My tears overflowing
How can I live ?
How can I die ?
How can I leave ?
Will I know that I've hurt them ?
Will I know how they feel ?
I feel sorrow for them
I feel sorrow for me

Chapter One: Murder, Death, Kill

The girl's ragged breath slowed and as she collapsed atop the dirt road, blood staining her arms, legs, torso, and face. Dull brown eyes were slowly closing, as she coughed.

Don't leave just yet...you have yet to give your heart away...

She let out a low whimper, not wanting to heed the voices in her head anymore. But then, she laughed slightly, slowly rising in pitch and volume as she realized she would finally be free of those haunting voices, the disturbing visions and spirits that constantly tantalize her with death, and untold horrors.

Her laughter was still echoing across the roads, loud and hysterical, when Konoha Hunter Nin found her lying on the ground, curled in a fetal position, caked in dried blood.

Now we have more time.

Tsunade rubbed her eyes, trying to bat away the temptation to drink some more sake. The report from the shinobi were disturbing:

Subject: Possible Insane Girl

This girl is clearly deranged. Hunter-Nin on the trail of Uchiha Itachi found this girl lying in the road, laughing hysterically. Her clothes were stained in blood, and she had deep cut wounds across her wrists, and shoulders. She had numerous scars up and down her arms, as well as two across her neck...

Why did these things have to happen to her? Shizune was already on the task of healing her, the girl just barely inches away from death. Tsunade put away the file, and almost knocked down the multitude of sake bottles on her desk.

"Shit!"

She woke up...where? White. White. Heaven? Wrong, nononononono! She shouldn't be in heaven...

Hell. Where she should be. Sinners. Wrong-doers. Friends. Where? They were here. Where?

The smell. Not heaven. The girl's thoughts slurred together, and there was a quick sharp pain in her right forearm, and she slowly drifted off into a curious sleep.

"Tsunade-baa-chan?" Naruto almost poked the Godaime in the head. Sleeping, on the job, again. Typical.

The Sannin raised her head, sleep evident on her face. "What, Naruto?"

"About the girl..."

"Yes, yes, I know. Your second success since bringing Sasuke back."

"Not what I was going to ask," Naruto said petulantly.

Pause.

"Continue," Tsunade said.

"Where is she? Under sedation?"

"Right. I took both Shizune and Sakura to heal her. What do you think about her wounds? They look familiar, to me, anyway," Tsunade explained.

"They looked deeper towards the outside, and got more shallow as it came towards the insides of her wrists." Naruto recalled the memory of how wide the scars were, and the cuts.

"Hm...I suppose you can see her. When she woke up, she looked hysterical and delirious. Be careful."

"I will, Tsunade-baa-chan!" Naruto waved bye, and headed full speed to the Konoha Hospital.

Naruto walked with the pink-haired medic-nin up the stairs.

"How's she doing?" Naruto asked.

"She's stable...barely. We almost gave her too much anesthesia, and almost had an overdose." Sakura rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"Can we go in to see her?" Naruto inquired.

"I suppose..."

The pair entered the room '444', and saw the black haired, pale girl in the hospital bed. She was of average height, and her eyes were open, staring at the roof. They were glazed, and didn't blink. Then, suddenly, her head turned, and blank, brown eyes stared at them.

"What do you want?" her voice was a hoarse whisper, and pale lips barely moved to form the words.

"How are you?" Sakura asked kindly.

"Murder, death, kill."

"What's your name?" Naruto tried.

"What's it matter? Murder, death, kill, red rum, red rum."

"You mind if we give you a name?" Naruto asked.

"Suppose not. You'll forget me eventually, anyway," the girl answered.

"Is...um...Aiya, fine?" Sakura asked, tapping her chin in thought.

Aiya tried to shrug. "I don't mind. It's pretty." She went back to staring at the ceiling. "The voices say I should kill you...but I'm not going to. You seem nice people."

"The voices?" Sakura asked, her interest piqued.

"In my head. They tell me what to do, when, why. They're usually right. They didn't want me to die, but I wanted to. They also let me see them sometimes. One of the voices is nice. Pretty girl, just like you..." Aiya said softly.

Naruto and Sakura exchanged looks. "Perhaps we should bring in Sasuke-kun? He can usually get answers out of people..." Sakura said slowly.

"He's already here."

The two turned to look at the Uchiha, with the same dark hair and eyes. Aiya didn't even blink. She was now humming, and looked ready to laugh. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Aiya.

"I'm assuming by 'people', you mean her."

"Right," Sakura said dryly. "Give it a try...and don't get frustrated if she answers with 'Murder, death, kill'."

Sasuke cocked his head, before approaching the bed.

"Oh, her name's Aiya," Naruto said.

"It's not Aiya," Aiya said. Her voice was slightly deeper this time, and she blinked. A frenzied light came into her eyes, and she turned, and attempted to sit up. A needle taped to her arm stopped her, and she pulled up the tape, and the needle. The hospital gown rustled, and Aiya turned towards Sasuke.

"You're the Uchiha. Look just like your brother. Suppose when we both die, we'll see each other in Hell, hm...?" Aiya asked, hands folded across her lap contently. She turned to look out the window, then back at the old Team 7.

"What's your name?" Sasuke ask, ignoring her stinging comment.

"My name, or my real name?" Aiya asked, "You're being vague."

Sasuke bit his tongue at Aiya's avoidance of the question. "You're name."

"Aiya."

"But you said it wasn't your name."

"Did I?" Aiya mused. "Perhaps it was Mneme...but that's not like her. Euterpe, or Calliope, perhaps?"

"How did you get here?"

"In a fit of suicidal rage, of course. I wanted to get away from them, and see my friends in Hell. I'm a sinner. Can't go to Heaven, of course." Aiya burst into a fit of hysterical laughter at this. "Just like you."

Sasuke clenched his hands. "Why did you try to kill yourself?" He asked, slight anger threading through his voice.

"Why shouldn't I?" Aiya looked down, and suddenly, she looked like a little, lost child in need of help going home. "I never wanted to kill myself in the first place. Can you blame me? See the things I've seen, heard the things I've heard, and you'd do the same thing."

Sakura sat on the edge of the bed. "Aiya, who's Calliope and the others?"

Aiya's head jerked up. "They don't want me to tell you. Murder, death, kill. They want you dead now," she said in a frantic slur of words. Then her pose changed, more relaxed. "I don't want to be here." She took the needle that she pulled out, and pressed it into her skin. A welt of blood bubbled up, and Aiya pressed in harder. More blood sprang up, and she began tracing the needle around a scar that went around her wrist like a bracelet.

"Aiya, stop. If you continue, I'm sorry, but I will have to put you in an insane asylum," Sakura said grabbing Aiya's hand. The girl yanked her hand in a violent motion, glaring, her face almost bestial with rage at the medic-nin.

"And what the fuckin' hell would you know?" Aiya demanded. "If I was to kill myself, I'd bet you wouldn't even care! What the hell do you think I am? 'Oh, look at that poor fragile girl, poor burned-out girl, poor insane, suicidal girl, poor poor insane, fragile, burned-out, suicidal girl...' Hn!" Aiya's voice took on a high-pitched sneering tone. "Do you think I do this for attention? Is that what you think?" Aiya asked, her voice not as cold as it was.

Sakura let out her breath. "No, of course not."

"You sure?" Aiya asked, almost childishly.

"Quite sure," Sakura reassured Aiya. Inner Sakura was restraining her anger at the girl. WHO THE HELL DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?

Sakura, however, did have some dealings with those who needed reassurance from others to make sure they weren't insane. Aiya, was different, but in a way...that was, well, different. What else could be said?

But she was right. She was burned-out, schizophrenic, suicidal, fragile. Putting the needle back into the crook of Aiya's arm, the girl (who couldn't be much older than thirteen or fourteen, one or two years younger than they were), settled back, and went back to staring.

As Sakura was giving her some more sedates, Aiya asked, "Do you have a book? I like reading...Morana likes reading. Got me started."

"I'll bring one tomorrow," Sakura promised. Stealing a glance at her two teammates, she cocked her head to the door. Making sure the IV was in place, Sakura closed the door as Sasuke, Naruto and she walked out.

"Well?"

"She needs help."

"Thought so."

Naruto and Sasuke walked into room 444 to see Aiya reading, calm, unlike the constantly changing person of yesterday. She glanced at them, her eyes hardening, but went back to her book, completely ignoring them.

As the two shinobi exited the room, they heard Aiya call out, "Morana and Calliope might visit you...Don't worry. They're nice. You'll like them. It's Euterpe you need to be careful of. And Xinatos. Murder, death, kill."

A new story that has risen out of the ashes of my non-existent stable mind. Um...Aiya's a name I 'borrowed' from a friend.

Notes:

-Aiya has several psychological disorders, among of which are: MPD (multiple personality disorder), Schizophrenia, Depression, Delirium (shown in the next chapter), Hallucinations, and BiPolar.

-There are no pairings.

-Keep in mind-she's bipolar, and does what the voices tell her to do. So yes, she's psychotic. Also, if, for an increased amount of time, she doesn't "heart" the voices, she attempts suicide.

-Aiya has a fairly short attention span, unless her anger is rising.

-The phrase Aiya repeats 'murder, death, kill' does have a correlation to the plot.

-Some of these experiences are taken from my life, but this is not altogether too angsty.

-REVIEW! Please.