An Adoring Heart
By Polexia Aphrodite
Notes: To avoid any confusion: 1) Charleston, South Carolina used to have a 'w' in it. 2) In my version of At World's End, Norrington and Elizabeth didn't kiss. The dialogue was acceptable, but the kiss was silly and unfortunate (as was most of the movie, but that's an entirely different rant). 3) Deleted scenes on the DVDs are considered canon.
Also, feedback is so, so appreciated. This didn't have a beta, so any comments anyone might have are great!
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By the age of 20, James had always found reason to curse his own foolish sensibilities. Chivalry came easily to him and he almost prided himself on the duchesses and ladies who had secretly conquered his heart, just as he prided himself on the self control that guarded his affections. Time and again he found himself achingly in love with a woman as unattainable as she was beautiful, but it was a fate he relished. It was heartsickness in Portsmouth that had led him to embrace his first appointment in the Colonies. A newly-minted third lieutenant in Charlestown, he was enveloped by the bustling port's burgeoning social circles. It was only true to form, he thought, that he should have fallen in love with the wife of the officious Captain Fraser. Sleepless nights found him tormented by her delicate, pale skin, warmed, no doubt, but the oppressive sun, her throaty laugh, her eyes that darkened strangely when she looked at him. Nights such as those found him more than once with a hand over his own mouth, desperate not to cry the word "Emma" in the crowded confines of his ship's bowels. And yet, there was something so surprisingly serious about his affection for her that threatened to change forever his cherished pattern of emotional libertinism.
She was, of course, the very image of propriety. Though they shared a common age, she was wiser with her feelings than James and, apparently, devoted to her husband. Or so James thought.
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It was a hot night in June that found James, his fellow lieutenants, and various members of Charlestown's elite at the Fraser's home, a respectably sized residence situated alongside the homes of other well-to-do merchants and traders. It was there, on that night, that James found himself once again the subject of Emma's mysterious gaze, which led him to follow her into one of the swarming house's blissfully empty parlours.
"I've seen the way you look at me," she turned to face him, speaking quietly, though she never would have been heard over the din in the adjoining rooms, "What on earth can you mean by it, Lieutenant?"
She moved closer.
For all his private protestations of love in the past, he had never before had the occasion to be alone with any of his secret paramours. He found now that it left him breathless and entirely dumbfounded.
She was inches away.
"Mrs. Fraser," he stammered, "I assure you I meant nothing untoward."
"Didn't you?" her eyes flashed dangerously.
Her hand touched his, his hand slid up the soft length of her forearm, she stepped forward again, a small hand gleamed white against his indigo lapel, his mouth, insuppressibly, lowered itself to hers and, for too brief a moment, he was lost. Her hands slipped across his shoulders, his hand cupped her face, warmth from her body bled into his and, just as suddenly, she pulled away, leaving the room soberly, but with a smile in her eyes.
--
He spent two more years in Charlestown. Emma Fraser became known throughout the southern colonies for her skills as a hostess, and the Fraser residence became a hub for local society. Yet she knew, as did James, that it was a talent that she had cultivated under false pretenses. At each of her cheerful and innocent gatherings, a few precious moments would find her and James alone in a parlour or a wine cellar or a darkened niche in the garden. Their embraces were regulated to ardent kisses and heated groping, never more. It allowed Emma to retain some continued belief in her own fidelity, though it condemned her to her own sleepless nights when memories of those fevered moments, of his warm fingers brushing her cleavage, the press of his hardened, masculine body against hers, or the flex of the muscles in his arms under her grip rose uncontrollably and made her shudder with wanting.
James had risen to first lieutenant when he, still posted to Captain Fraser's ship, was set to return to England. Their charge had been the retrieval of the future governor of Port Royal, where they were to be permanently stationed. The voyage was marked in James' memory by his overwhelming discomfort. In the presence of Captain Fraser, he burned with guilt and scorned himself for the secret gratification he felt in cuckolding a man so obviously his social superior. The discovery of the burning merchant ship and the half-drowned boy had been a welcome opportunity for James to let himself be swallowed by his profession and forget his entanglements.
Returning to Port Royal meant a return to Emma. The move had disagreed with her. There were fewer opportunities for parties, less excuses, less James. For a brief period, during his and her husband's absence, she had been of a mind to begin anew in Port Royal, and to forget that James was anything other than one of her husband's officers. But then they returned. And Emma managed to scramble together a respectable enough gathering for a party and found herself once again in James' arms.
The years passed. Captain Fraser was transferred to the Dauntless and later made Commodore, allowing James to be appointed Captain of the Interceptor and, in time, Post Captain. She didn't know if it was the fact that he'd been promoted or if it was that she had finally become too frustrated for her own good, but it was at the celebration for his promotion that they finally consummated whatever it was between them. They had both hoped, perhaps to different degrees, that it would be the act to finally smother the flames of intrigue and passion they still held for each other. But in the candlelit study where she finally allowed him to lift her voluminous skirts as her legs wound tightly around his hips, they both knew that it was far from over.
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