This is my first attempt of SG-1 fanfiction. Love to hear all of your thoughts, and I knooow I need a Beta. My sometimes awful "Swenglish" (swedish-english) seeping through.. So if anyone's up for the job, let me know! ;)

Chapter 1

It was funny, really. Normally she was the one with all the clever ideas, the one to do all the MacGyvering when all their other plans had failed. Now she could have needed one of those ideas, because she had absolutely no idea about what to do.

Her plan was to get married to the man she liked, but unfortunately couldn't love, so she wouldn't end up like an old spinster with no one else that cared about her except a few cats.. She would live in a house together with him, keep on working on the team and perhaps in a few years transfer to full-time research position to be able to get some more down time. But now, all of those plans were washed away. She stared down at the small white over-the-counter pregnancy test in her hand. It was definitely positive. Her plan had definitely failed. It wasn't that her fiancée wouldn't want to have children, quite the opposite actually; he would love it. The only problem was, as realization dawned on her, that she didn't want to have children with him. And, being the scientific genius that she now was, had quite fast done her math and figured out the baby was not his..

Suddenly she felt an insuppressible urge to giggle, paralleling the panic and the nausea she had felt for a few days now. She, Samantha Carter, was pregnant with no one other than her CO, Colonel Jonathan "Jack" O'Neill!

It had been after one of those missions. Everything had gone wrong; Daniels diplomatic skills hadn't been working at all, the entire (reportedly peaceful) village had turned against them and they had to run head over heels back to the Stargate to avoid any personal injuries. Unlfortunately, they had lost a soldier from the other team on the mission, and the sorrow and grief of losing yet another colleague weighed heavy on all of their shoulders. All she'd wanted to do was to get home, soak herself in a hot bath with a glass of Chardonnay in her hand and some calming music in the background. ALONE. No Pete trying to get into the tub with her, offering her massages or just trying to be nice. Lucky for her, Pete had not been at home, was off to a friend in Boston the entire weekend. Her thoughts had wandered off in different directionswhile the elevator brought her up to ground level, more often than not to her CO, O'Neill.. Jack.. He was the very reason she was now going to get married to Pet.. He was the one suggesting, no telling, her to get a life. In between the lines telling her that a romantic relationship between the two of them never would happen.

The ping from the elevator reaching ground level had startled her from her thoughts. Heavy rain was falling outside, a detail that had gone unnoticed by her underground of course. Cursing her bad timing she hurriedly walked to her old Indian in the parking lot, just to notice a flat back-tire when she got closer. Perfect. Standing there in the rain she had considered her options; she could either get back into the mountain and sleep in her quarters, or see if Daniel was still working and ask him for a ride. Getting wetter by the second she had to decide fast. That was when Ja.. the Colonel stopped his car right next to her on the parkinlglot, and popped his head out the window with a mischievous glint in his brown eyes.

"Watcha doin Carter?" he had asked, casually.

"Getting wet, sir. Flat tire.." she answered, pointing at her beloved Indian. She looked back at him, eyebrow raised. " No chance you could give me a ride back to my house? I really do not want to spend the night at work again, and I think my plants really miss me at home.." she added with a smile.

"Of course Carter, get in the car.." He replied, with a hint of a smile on his lips. She realized it had been a while since she saw him smile.

The ride home was spent in silence. Sam had tried to engage him in conversation a few times, but all she got in return was monosyllable answers.. She loved the smell in his car, something so uniquely him. It was most definitely her favorite smell. Somehow had Pete never affected her that way.

Too soon they were outside her house. The silence in the car was becoming more pressing by the minute. That was when she could hear herself asking him in for a cup of coffee, or beer or whatever.. "Whatever"? How old was she, 16? She had felt her cheeks redden and hurriedly said that Pete was not at home, when he hesitated to answer her question. When she saw the relief in his eyes she had realized that Pete had been the reason Jack had been so quiet for the last.. Well.. Since she had showed him her engagement ring and asked about their future.

As he accepted her invitation, she had felt butterflies in her stomach and far lower down too. Why on earth had she fallen for her CO? Even though she knew they could never even admit their feelings for each other, let alone have a relationship?

They had done a quick sprint to avoid getting even wetter than they already were, and after she had clumsily unlocked the door she suddenly stopped after entering the hallway, to take off her wet shoes and jacket. He hadn't seen that move coming, expecting her to continue walking, and had walked right into her. Trying to keep her balance she had grabbed ahold of his arm, as he had pulled her up close to him. The silence in the hallway being almost palpable, the only sound had been the elevated breathing from the two of them as they stood there, holding each other. None of them seemed to want to be the first one to move away.

Sam had looked into his chocolaty, brown eyes and she had almost been able to hear all the blood drain her head just to pool in between her legs.. A few drops of rainwater had slowly made their way down his nose and landed on his lips, and without as much as a second thought she had leaned forward and licked the drops of water from his lips. The feeling was absolutely wonderful, his soft lips and the pure taste of Jack O'Neill. He hadn't responded at first, too shocked to move a muscle, but as she kissed him a second time, and then a third time he had finally gotten out of his stupor and kissed her back. The feeling was like coming home, home to where she belonged. He pulled her closer, she could feel him pressed up next to her and she had smiled as she realized that his blood also had left his head to more southern parts of his body. She pressed herself onto his growing manhood, and enjoyed the enormous pleasure she got out of it.

If she or he had had any thoughts about regulations, their status as CO and subordinate or any of the other million things that had kept them apart for the last nine years, they hadn't mentioned it. The pressure from the last few months had built up this irrepressible need between them, all coming to a stop right there and then.

The same silent communication that had saved them hundreds of times in the field, now worked to assure both of them that this was what they both wanted, needed, more than anything. Kissing feverishly they had made their way across the kitchen floor, down the hallway into her bedroom, leaving a trail of wet clothes in their wake. As they had made it into her bedroom he had pushed her down onto the bed, and bent down to unlace her shoes and take of her socks. The gesture had brought tears to her eyes, making him abruptly stop his administrations.

"Are you sure this is what you want Sam? I mean, we could stop now.. Pete-.. " He had asked, just to make sure. His body clearly not wanting this to cease, but his mind to ready to do anything they were not both in for.

"I am as sure as I'll ever be Si.. Jack." she had interrupted him, breathless and with emotion. He given her a sad smile, one that had made her kiss him once more. She then felt him starting to bring her tank top up over her belly, his warm hands caressing her skin up over her ribs and stopping before reaching her breasts.

"Please, don't stop.." She had begged him, almost crying with emotion, needing him to touch her. He found the front clasp of her bra and undid it, releasing her full breasts into his hands, and she hadn't been able to stop herself from moaning as his lips traced the touches his hands had just made, while her own hands had found their way into his gray, short hair.

She had let her hands slide down the muscles of his back, then resting them on the button on the front of his pants. Sensing the admirable bulge inside his pants, and hearing him hiss as she touched him through his pants, she had wanted nothing more than to feel him inside her. She had needed him, right away, before she was going to explode. She had not wasted any time, flipping them over so she could take off his pants and underwear, as he shredded his t-shirt. She had stood on the side of the bed, and he had laid there naked in all his glory. Realizing the only garment left was her panties; she slowly slid a finger under the hem and took them off. All that was left now was to.. Yeah. He had taken her hand and slowly pulled her down on the bed with him. The sensation of his bare skin touching hers was sensational, and she had hurriedly slid on top of him, her sensitive flesh friction against him. The feeling of him under her, her impossibly wet core and his large, pulsing member so close to her opening had almost made her come, but she had managed to control her body on the last moment. She had raised her hips as she held his warm gaze, and helped him find his way into her. The sensation was overwhelming and had made them both cry out with pleasure, and while she had to let herself get used to his rather large size before she could start to move, he laces his fingers through hers. She had closed her eyes as the pleasure of having him inside her washed over her, but as she had opened them again she could see him stare at her with more emotion in his face than she had ever seen before, his eyes conveying more love than she had ever thought possible.

She had done what she could to return the look, and had then started moving. The friction between them so intense she had to bite her lip not to cry out again. He brought her lips down towards his, mumbling what she thought was "I love you Sam, always have.." as the heat and tension in her core intensified even more. His words sent her over the edge far harder than she had ever experienced, him coming into her soon after. They cried with pleasure into each other as they continued kissing.. Sam had collapsed on top of him, still feeling him pulsate inside her, claiming her with his seed. He rolled them over and carefully slid out of her, silently watching her reaction to his words.

She had rolled onto her side, facing him, and looking him deep in the eyes..

"That was more wonderful than I had ever dreamed it would be.. And.. I love you too, always have.. and probably always will". Slowly a tear had taken shape in the corner of her eye, as she realized that this was all they were going to get. One night, nothing more. Tomorrow all was going to get back to "normal", or as normal they ever had been. She, engaged to be married, and he, her CO in the US Airforce. A painful gasp had left her, and he had held her close, so close, as she had cried out the pain of having to let him go.

He had left her of course, as the first rays light graced the new day and after making love to her again, more slowly this time. Nothing in this world (or any of the others they had visited together over the years) could have made them hurry that last time together. They had both known this was to be the last time they could be close to one another, none of them could just abandon protecting the earth by retiring from active duty, not abandon what they were. They were far too good trained soldiers to do such a thing. And as long there was an alien threat against their world he would be her CO. End of story.

Now here she was, in her own bathroom, once again feeling the warmth pool between her legs as she thought about the night they had shared in her bed. Then she heard the rattle of keys turning the lock in her front door and Pete's cheerful voice calling out for her. The warm feeling immediately subsided, and the panic and nausea returning with full force.

Oh my God.. What was she supposed to do? She was pregnant with her CO, who was definitely NOT her fiancée. Her REAL fiancée was now coming up the stairs looking for her. FAST SAM, come up with a plan!

"Honey" Pete said through the bathroom door. "Are you ok?"

While trying to make her voice stable enough to talk, she hid the pregnancy test in the trash bin. She opened the door and looked into his concerned face.

"I don't feel very well.. I think I'm coming down with something.." Oh yeah I am, over 8 months or so I'm sure coming down with something or someone..! " I have to cancel our dinner tonight.. I'm sorry. But all I want is to take a shower and then go to bed and sleep.." She tried to look sick, and probably did a good job at it, because Pete immediately let go of the bathroom door and backed up a few steps.

"Sure honey, I'll just leave you to it then.. Wouldn't wanna catch whatever alien virus you have acquired!" he tried jokingly, but seeing that she was not the least amused he hurriedly said his goodbyes and rushed down the stairs. Wow, that went easy, she thought, while remembering his germ phobia. Hearing the front door close she walked over to the window in her bedroom and watched him speed away from the curb. That was one problem temporarily out of the way, but the next one wasn't going to be as easy to solve.

"I guess it's just you and me now little one" she said, holding one hand on her still flat belly. Still, this problem didn't feel that much of a problem at all, considering she knew she knew she had to break up her engagement, she could not keep on being engaged to Pete and pretend the child was his. The thought of carrying Jack's baby, of knowing that she at least would have a part of him close even though she could not have him, weighed up the depressing thoughts of raising a baby on her own, without any family to help her. She was sure her team would support her, but there's a difference between supporting in thought and in action. But now she had to do what was best for her baby.

Step one, find a good and discrete OB-GYN to confirm the pregnancy. Step two; step down from an active duty on SG-1. The thought of that made her stomach clench with agony, and of course, brought back her nausea.. She hurriedly made her way back to the bathroom to give up some of her lunch.