Take: One

Summary: A look into the typical day on the set of Ghost Hunt. Satire, crack, parody, plenty of Breaking the Forth Wall.

Word Count: 1,193

At eight o'clock sharp, Mai strutted back and forth in the living room, watching the front door of the SPR office with dark, waiting eyes.

He was late. Again.

Just as the thoughts were crossing her mind, Naru suddenly burst through the front door. "Sorry I'm late!"

She glared down at him – as well as she could, since she was shorter than him. "You're late," she said, as if he hadn't announced it himself. "Make me tea."

Naru gave her a large smile. "Yes, Boss."

A moment of contemplation passed between them. Naru frowned and crossed his arms, his eyes going hard. "This is not my script," he said in a voice like ice.

Mai felt herself deflate. She knew she wouldn't have been able to hold a performance to his own. Besides, it all comes easier to someone when that someone isn't acting.

She ran to the kitchen and pulled the script of out the drawer. "How was I supposed to know?" She demanded, "It says Oliver Davis on it. Who's that?"

"It's my name. Who did you think it was?" He said, snatching it out of her hands.

Mai wrinkled her nose and tilted her head to the side. "When did that become your name?"

"Oh, that's right," he said. "You haven't gotten that far. Just know that it is some plot twist further on in the story that will blow your mind." He flipped through the script.

"I hate people saying that to me! You jerk!"

"I'm keeping you in suspense."

"You jerk. You big, smelly, narcissist jerk."

He rolled up the script and put it into his black jacket.

"Now to set things straight. Mai, make me –"

"I know, I know," she said, "Make you tea. I'm on it."

"No," Naru said, looking slightly mortified. "Bring me orange juice."

Mai had to let that sink it. "Wait, you mean to tell me you drink things besides tea?"

"I don't like tea," he told her, as if the whole world knew that. He snapped his fingers. "Hop on it."

Mai didn't know how to 'hop' onto anything, but she dutifully went to the kitchen. She automatically reached for the teapot, but she had to pull her hand back and looked into the fridge.

She was surprised to see that there was orange juice in the refrigerator. She had never seen it there before.

Since there was nothing but sets of teacups in the cabinets, she pulled out a delicate blue one that she knew that he liked, because it matched his eyes. She poured the orange juice into the cup until it was nearly to the rim.

Mai walked to Naru's office door, moving carefully as not to spill the drink. Right before she opened the door, she pulled out a pair of sunglasses out of her pocket and put them on.

She opened the door to the obnoxiously bright, surely to blind you if you looked at it directly, somewhere so hot that you could practically suntan in here. It was Naru's office, where he had every lamp decorated around the room. Old antique ones, new modern ones and all the ones in between. Ranging from sizes of a monstrosity in the corner, small pea-sized ones, and medium ones sprinkled through out them. Mai had to be careful not to step on any of the ones that he had set on the floor, since his desk, ceiling and walls had been taken up.

Naru had the blinds closed behind him, since he believed that the sun could be no match for his bright, modern technology.

Mai set the teacup on the desk before him. "Here is your te— orange juice."

When Naru saw that it was in a teacup, he frowned at her. "I wanted it in a wineglass."

"We don't have any wineglasses. Neither of us is old enough to drink, remember?"

Naru sighed and picked up the tea cup delicately.

"Oh," Mai said, "I don't know how old that orange juice is, since I don't remember when it got into the fridge, but you might want to sniff it before you drink it."

But to Mai's fault, Naru had already taken a sip.

He stared down into the cup. "Impossible. They can't poison the main character."

"Excuse me?" Mai said, "I am the main character here!"

"No, you must be mistaken. You are the main love interest."

"No, I'm not! You are the main love interest. But how that can be is beyond me!"

"I'm sorry to say, but everything is beyond you, Mai. Besides, there are a few good reasons I can think of." Naru gave her one of his best smiles, "You know, slight British accent, dashing good looks?"

"You don't have a British accent…"

Naru frowned, as if this fact bothered him. "Technically speaking, I should." The watch on Naru's wrist beeped.

He made a shooing motion with his hands. "Out. Your time is up. If you're in here any longer, people start getting suspicious." He went back to the work scattered all among his desk. It seemed like he could never get any of it done.

Mai left the office and took her sunglasses off. She had to let her eyes adjust to the normal sunlight. When they adjusted, she was shocked to see Lin on the couch, writing furiously on a notebook. He hadn't been there when she had gone into the office.

"Lin," she said, bouncing up to him, because it seemed in character. "Where's your computer?"

Lin's face twisted. "I don't have a computer. I hate computers. I mean, I really hate them, I feel as if my eyes will fall out if I stare at the stupid screen for too long." He put his hand in his hair, his other hand never stopping on the notepad. "I don't understand. Why does everyone ask where my computer is? I hate computers. Why would I own one? And yet, they always ask 'Lin, where's your computer?'"

Lin pulled a handkerchief from his shirt, covering his face with it. "I'm sorry," he said to Mai, who was sitting beside him. "I just get so emotional. I just don't understand why they always ask that." He dabbed at his eyes.

Mai smiled at him. She couldn't believe that he was able to pull off the real shootings. He was seriously a good actor. The way that he always kept it together and never broke down in a mess of tears. Mai had felt so bad yelling at him in that scene during the 'Blood-Stained Labyrinth' shooting. She had thought he would be able to take it, and that he would run up to her and hug her, telling her how sorry he was for not talking to her for so long. But he hadn't, he had kept it together and the scene had played out so wonderful and emotional.

She admired Lin so much. Like a father.

Mai went to the kitchen, pulling herself up onto the counter. She pulled a Ghost Hunt novel out of her purse, and started reading. Just to make sure she really was the main character.