A/N: Here is my first The Legend of Korra story.
Disclaimer: I do not own. Ever.
"You at home?"
In a dashed movement that could have and possibly should have caused severe whiplash, Korra snapped her neck around to the sound of the young man approaching with a smug but curious grin on his face. Sitting on the steps that led to the harbor, where the ships were located to allow visitors and honored guests to wander about on the island, she hadn't heard his arrival and was somewhat disappointed at her minimal failure.
Not minding that her palms had grown increasingly sweaty, his presence tended to do that to her, she rubbed them fiercely and forced a familiar smirk like grin on her face. He walked to her casually with his hands stuffed habitually down his pants pockets, and she walked to him with a casual but not flawless grin on her face as her pony-tail rocked back and forth while she stomped, but not too proudly, to him.
"You see I'm at home," she laughed at him, jabbing his right arm, "Why wouldn't I be?"
Behind them the sun was beginning to set and the dark shadows of night, glittering white bulbs of stars, were beginning to cloud about.
"Bolin said that you head headed out early," his eyes were suspicious and mouth tight lipped, "Care to explain?"
Indeed, she had left early from practice in a frantic rush, not that meant to. It was not a part of her plan to leave early, and it wasn't an intention she held close to heart. No, she felt her cheeks heat up with embarrassment and guilt. It was not at all surprising that he followed, pursued, but she disliked that he was completely straightforward about it. Behind her back she twisted her hands, but she soon realized that it was an unconscious action and quickly switched them back to her hips. Then, she felt that her hips were too arrogant and defiant, and thus, she crossed them against her chest, keeping her face calm and neutral. Though, the signs of defiance and guilt were unwillingly visible.
"Nothing serious, there was a report from the South Pole, and Tenzin wanted to come," she shrugged committedly, "You were there."
"Yeah, I was," his eyes narrowed, "And I also saw how your body stiffened and your lack of concentration during practice after the radio call ended."
Could he see the stunned look on her face when he sent out the accusation? She supposed not, or perhaps, he felt it. No matter. She looked at him with wide eyes, and thought back to when the radio call entered the practice room. The sound of her parents, so far from where she was and loving, patient, and then his voice came in a flicker of budding light, disappearing in and out. She had not said anything, not then. Hadn't cried, when his voice came on, but she almost had forgotten. His voice was distant in her memory, jaded and beginning to fade into silent oblivion, but she remembered his voice then. An eruption of recollection, and all her nerves and thoughts on practicing that day were shattered.
She shook her head at him, denying the truth, "Really? Please, you're such a drama queen. I was just filled with excitement at hearing my parents' voices!"
But Mako was not to be deterred, and when she walked away from him, head held high, he turned to watch her moving back, brow low and thoughtful. He uttered a word, a name he barely heard as it escaped her lips in the briefest of moments, and he hadn't realized at the time, at the time he was simply upset with her, that his voice dripped with, what was it, jealously, "Howl."
The sun was at last withdrawing into the submerged darkness of the conquering night, and the stars were more prominent in the darkening sky. Korra was not too far from him, and she considered that the slip of words could have been promptly ignored. He had said it unkindly, but it was a warm and detached manner, not malicious. She stopped and wanted to look back but not look back. Fright. No, it was not fright. Korra did not get scared, but something inside was warning her against turning around. She tackled her inward fear with her outward stubbornness, and she shifted her feet, turned her waist, and looked at the young man, slightly older than she, with an exhausted expression hanging on her face.
"Howl," one foot was on the last step, prepared to go up one by one, "Mako, you so crazy."
"I heard you, Korra," he said calmly, "it was a slip, an accident, but I know what I heard. Is he your, you know?"
"No!" Suddenly, it dawned on her, and she wobbled, "No, he isn't. Yes, he was. No."
It was the wrong thing to say. Mako's face contorted in a mixture of confusion and frustration, "Explain," he said tartly.
She pouted, ready to retreat to sleep, but she was prepared to explain. Instead of turning back, hurrying to the warm, bubbly depths of a waiting bath, she sat comfortably on the last step as the yellowish-orange of evening disappeared from sight. He stood in front her, not caring that night darkness had arrived, and she could feel the severity of his eyes on her, watching her. His ears were open, and his brain was waiting for the explanation that she was willing but not completely ready, he did believe she was willing, to give. He had a right to know! All the right to know, he did have, and she knew it.
Down in the waters below her eyes fell, and she clasped and unclasped her hands, trying to find the right words to say. Whatever words she was going to say tumbled down her throat, devoured by stomach acids.
"Korra, you said you'd explain this."
"Wait, man," she sighed and stretched, "give me a sec. Jeez, this isn't easy, y'know."
"Let me make it easy for you," the tiniest of quivers could be heard on his voice beneath the sternness, "I've never had a girlfriend."
Again, she turned her head to him, a severe case of whiplash forthcoming, and her eyes widened before they pulled upwards in a hilarious grin. She quickly recovered, stuffing a fist into her mouth to shuffle down the threatening laughter.
"I'm sorry," she bit down on the side of her hand at his displeased look, "I'm sorry! Don't get mad. With your looks, I'm sure that all the ladies would be clamoring to get at you."
"Bolin is the charmer. I'm the snake," his voice turned soft, and he took a seat beside her, looking up at the sky, "My mind has always been focused on making sure we had something to eat and a place to sleep. I didn't have time for that, but he always found a way to keep those kinds of things in perspective. You've made a bit easier for me."
Her knees up to her chin, she leaned down into them with a thoughtful look gracing on her features, "Yeah, Howl was like that too. He always lived with the White Lotus Guards in the South Pole after his mother died from an illness, and his father was pretty stern. So serious!"
"And he was your first. That's nice."
She nodded, a small smile dancing on her lips, "Yeah, he was. I promised right when I decided to leave, on my way out, I was going to write letters to him. A long time ago we made a pact to go to Republic City together, and we would see all the sights and take pictures and make a stupid scrapbook. It was going to be awesome." It hadn't occurred to her that she had grown animated in the few minutes that she described her times with him. Her hands waved, and her mouth rambled on, but she was filled with as much as excitement when she first began practice with them all those weeks ago. Her eyes shined in the moonlight, more visible were her cerulean blue eyes native to her tribe, and brown skin was milky cream appearing too.
When she finished, out of breath, her heart pounding against her chest, he shifted on the last step, and looked up at the observing moon, "It didn't turn out that way. Did it?"
Though the milky cream texture of her skin and the glowing blue of her eyes hadn't dulled, the smile on her face, filled with vigor and energy, dimmed to the point that it was hollow replica of what it once was.
"No," she chuckled humorlessly, "it didn't."
"Why?"
"Howl has duties. He's a guard to the White Lotus Order, and I didn't want to drag him down with me. Those first weeks are the easiest to keep a promise. I wrote to him every day, but then the weeks turned longer and longer and longer, and then there came a point when I couldn't remember. I got so mixed up in training, practice with you guys, and hell, even the Equalists, that I forgot…"
"About him," he finished with finality, "You forgot about him."
"No," she waved her hands up in the air, her voice small and quiet, "Not like that. I got caught up in this life, and I forgot that I had a life back home. And maybe, sure, I did forget to write to him, but that doesn't mean I forgot about him."
Mako's look grew tender and moved a tad closer to her, but not so much that their hands were touching. She smiled at him and shrugged, "Tenzin came with the radio, plugged it in, and I got to talk to my parents. He probably wasn't in the room, but he knew I was on the other line. When he reported to Tenzin, I'm sure everyone told him that I had left, but that's not Howl. He knew I was there."
"He doesn't have psychic vision, does he?"
"No," her head dug a bit deeper between her legs, and her voice was a muffled sob, or a small portion of it, "But he knows me. Because he's Howl, and Howl is Howl, he didn't say anything. Not one word to make me feel guilty."
"And so-,"
"And now I feel guilty. Completely guilty, but he didn't do it on purpose," she sighed and leaned back, making sure not to knock herself out on the next step, "I know I should feel guilty. I broke my promise." The waters rippled with gentle waves, and Mako stared off, but he returned his gaze to her folded face, hidden beneath the brown-fur material of her pants. "Yeah," his voice was low but not mean in the slightest, "he sounds like a good man."
"Yes, he is a very sweet man, and a complete dork," her laughter was cheerful with a small hint of sadness in it, "a huge dork. Just like you!"
Without warning she punched him lightly on the arm, and chuckled at his disgruntled expression.
"Glad to know," he frowned, but his frowned didn't last. He let out a small laugh of his own, "You sound ridiculously close to Bolin."
Together they sat in a comfortable silence beneath the white stars and diamond-crested moon. She next to him, he next to her, and in the background the tender rustling of bushes and flowers trembled in the crisp, night air. The lights of the home were beginning to flick out, a subtle sign that she would have to return soon, but for the moment, she believed that she was permitted to wait out for several minutes more. Her thoughts became dazed, and she floated back to the memories where all was white and cold. Their lips inches from each other, hovering, and her body is strapped to his. His arms wrapped around her, and her arms around his neck. His laughter. His ridiculous, clumsy, but heartfelt laughter that echoed in the whisper of the winds, the snowflakes, and small balls of breath formulated into miniature clouds.
"You can write to him still. Better late than never." A suggestion deluded her fantasy-memory and brought her back to the present-reality. She was out back on the outskirts of Republic. Not exactly the outskirts but somewhat close, sitting next to a young man who was not the man from the past; his eyes were yellow-gold with the tiniest flecks of chestnut green. She reasoned that it was inherited by the parent, she would never know, who was an Earthbender.
"Write to him," she tested out the words, unsure and hesitant to say them aloud, "I could, but what, what if he doesn't write back." She wasn't afraid to write, but she was afraid of the cold rejection. He was capable of coldness; he was human and held the ability to contain it.
"Then you'll know," he curved his lips upwards into a comforting smile that warmed her heart in ways that she couldn't understand, "And I'll be waiting."
He stood up to leave, and his hand pressed awkwardly on her naked shoulder. His manner of hugging, and normally, she would have attacked him with a bone-crushing embrace. However, she nodded while the tears that dared to trip over sunk back from the hollow place they originated from; he retreated to where the last boat was, waiting patiently for him to board it, and the boat sailed away. Bit by bit, as time rolled on, it disappeared into the great lights of the city, returning to where it belonged.
Korra sat there on the last step, looking on and knowing that she too should return to her temporary home, but she remained there looking upwards, a mournful but hopeful smile appearing on her face. She looked to the moon, radiant in her goodness, and she nodded. Yes, she would write to him. She would write to him and apologize because he was all what she wasn't, and that was what made him perfect.
"And then I will know." She said in a hushed but confident and strangely anxious whisper, "This is what we were."
A/N: Howl is the fandom name of a White Lotus Guard in Korra's tribe. It's a past relationship, Korra's first, but I do hint at some possible Makorra romance. I'm such a multishipper these days. It's a lot of fun. Thank you to those who read, review, and do any other third thing, but please, leaving a review won't hurt one bit.
